National Coming Out Day: "Letting In"
click here for video version
Coming out can feel like a burden sometimes.Â
Choosing who to tell, how to tell them, whether it's safe or not. It's exhausting, and it starts to feel like work or labor…all the uncertainty.Â
That's why I like the term ‘letting in’ instead of coming out. It sort of flips the script. Coming out, to me, feels like you have to push yourself out into the world and decide whether you're ready to come out to a specific person (or everyone all at once!) and whether they're ready to receive what you have to say.
Letting in, to me, is like deciding who I'm okay with getting to see this vulnerable side of myself, with this part of myself that I might still be exploring or not totally sure about.Â
It might feel like a distinction without a difference to some people. If you still want to use the term coming out or if you prefer letting in;Â
or maybe for some people you're talking about coming out to,Â
and other people you're letting them in to see the vulnerable side of yourself…
…you don't owe disclosure to anyone.Â
That's what letting in tells me. I have the ownership over my story. I get to curate my truth, my identity, and who sees me for who I really am in my full queer self. So, if coming out feels heavy today, maybe try thinking of it as letting in.
