#queercollective

good song

omg I love you this is exactly it. I do feel hella resentful wondering if other people feel this level of clarity normally. I just always feel more normal when i take it compared to how I usually feel. Its almost sobering. 

You always hear that, if you need it it wont make you feel the side effects, the mania and intensity that people who don't need it get when they use it. Its really hard to say whats normal, because I never feel totally normal sober. 

Once you get this you have to say 5 nice things about yourself publicly and then send this to 10 of your favorite followers (not back to me, of course). Thinking good thoughts about yourself is hard but it will make you feel better so give it a go, for the sake of spreading positivity!

— queercollective

I never replied, so I'm gonna do that now.  Here are 5 nice things about me:

I'm really good at customer service, even if customer service isn't the most enjoyable job in the world.  It's a good skill to have anyway.

I have a pretty good fashion sense.  I get complimented on my clothes all the time.

I do an awesome cat-eye.

I'm really good at taking several recipes and making a new spin on them based on what I have in the kitchen.

It was beautiful today, yesterday... I haven't been to sleep yet. Just running on pure purr and gusto. Indoor rock climbing wall. I never did that before. My forearms are sore in a familiar way that makes me a bit nostalgic. Imagine a naive virgin rebel of 15, not ready to go all the way, physically experimenting with her first lover. I believe it's my flexor carpi radialis that holds the muscle memory of hand jobs. I just googled it.

Whilst conquering new heights, I received a literary body of meaningful life changing text messages. The kinds that end friendships and reignite dreams. I was expecting them, but not today, and not all at once. Past conspirators across the country must've had me in their mind. A good sweat does that.

The personal details aren't for the public. But the words of one old friend made me remember some really terrible mistakes that I've made. And I'm sorry for them. Another individual, a somewhat mysterious creature, sent news that gave me hope and further inspired me to make things right, by being of service to those that need it. There are people, strangers who are suffering, and they're just like me or probably better than me. I want to console them. And maybe, I'll indirectly right my misdeeds.

Post fitness-mania, I had a semi-sinful boozy evening and realized several more good things. Epiphanies. Why do they come to me all at once like soldiers marching into battle everything I thought I knew? These were ideas I've had before, but with fresh faces and spaces. Number one. I like geniuses and I know some. You know who you are and thanks for reading boo. Number two. 2,3,4,5,6,7 heads are better than one. But not more than ten. I call it at that. Our diversity in abilities is what can make a thriving community. Revering the value of one being is grand, but to encourage, advocate and then combine the values of all individuals within any group is golden. This harmony, this optimistic conjecture of united potential, can be the foundation for all of us dreamers and idealists to build upon.

I'm certainly not going to speculate on others' glittery dreams and goals. And I'm not going to tally mine here and now. But I like to think they're noble. And I don't keep the kind of company that gets off on comparing diamonds and bidets with the ladies from the block (but we may boast of our power tools or kitchen appliances). No wheelers and dealers or cowards or whiners or thieves in my mostly gayborhood. 

Divine desires. Aspirations that settle somewhere in between expression and teaching tolerance and compassion.