#queer asks

Hi hi lovely!

21. Describe your coming out experience in a haiku

I have not written a haiku since about fifth grade 😂

Some of them you lose

But always remember that

Some of them you win

Ohh these were so fun, thank you!

1. who/what made you start questioning?

I mean….. 👀

20. describe your type in a haiku:

Silken locks of brown,

Wit dances in your bright eyes,

🌈 - What's a Queer Identity, Experience or a piece of History you feel deserves more recognition?

I think there has been a push to talk about it more, but I am obsessed with historical research into rural queer American life prior to the Gay Rights Movement. We don't - can't - know much, when you don't have a ton of records. But I love every detail I can find about the way people carved out lives in spaces that were beautiful but not safe.

I'm definitely a lesbian but I've always only felt sexual attraction to people I have a connection with. I don't know if that makes sense or if it's even a real thing.

Thanks xxx

Hey Anon! It's not stupid at all, please don't feel like it is. Personally it took me a long time to figure stuff out because sometimes people separate the ace(/aro) spectrum so strictly from everything else and act like there's no place for other identities to coexist with them. But what if I'm also lesbian/gay/bi/whatever else, what then? You absolutely can be a demisexual lesbian and it's very much a real thing in which you're not alone.

What's a part of queer identity you wish more people knew about?

Okay, I've already ranted about this once today, but I'm always up for more!

Sally Rosen

(because I'm not going to do what everyone does and refer to her by her asshole ex-husband's last name)

She was an unrepentantly feminist, bisexual, revolutionary queer, Jewish woman, in an era when none of those things were acceptable in academia, and she knew what she wanted and never settled.

Her life story is equal parts messy, infuriating, and inspiring, and she's almost always overlooked when people talk about the things she contributed to modern archaeology. We hear all about Lewis Binford and the processual movement, but very little about Sally's contributions, or how she made room for herself as a woman and minority in the field.

Also like... Does anybody actually comprehend the sheer volume of bi and pan people who are out there?? We're literally everywhere. I swear I know almost as many bi and pan people as I know straight people, but because most of them are in relationships with people who pass as the opposite gender everyone assumes they're straight.

NOT ME REBLOGGING AN ASK GAME AND THEN COMPLETELY FORGETTING ABT IT oTL

also desktop makes some of these emojis funky so im sorry if they don't translate back to mobile emojis well (esp the trans flag)

🍁 - When did you first realize you were queer?

when i was like, twelve or thirteen?? my friends and i all kinda figured it out around the same time together so it was a very like, "hmmm i think i like Women" "oh me too" "yeah i think i'm like. Gay" casual thing (at least, it was to me)

🧡 - How has the way you presented yourself (ex. Clothing, hairstyle, etc.) changed since you realized you were queer?

well im still fucking emo LMAO. uhhh but literally now i cut my own hair and have bangs and bleach it and dye it in ways i never got to. i'd say i'm more comfortable now?? idk my style hasn't changed hugely bc i've always been a "hoodies and skinny jeans" person, but i'm def more comfortable in Formal Clothes now, like button-ups and dresses. also 13yo me would never be caught dead in shorts above the knee but here i am, somehow less Girl yet more Comfortable With Femininity ??

idk i was going to a private lutheran school and also didn't have a lot of freedom in general with my style so obviously things have changed since i've become an adult and the inherent difference in appearance that one takes over the course of a decade and adolescence. this answer is probs v different for people who realized later in life which is fair but like. my queerness has always been an aspect of my identity ever since i was at the age where i was FORMING an identity, so it wasn't like a huge game-changer for me, it just helped explain who i was better.

🦚 - Are there any queer books/shows/etc. that you would suggest?

for the anime gang, Given is a big one, as well as Sasaki To (And?) Miyano (sometimes i see the title as "sasaki to miyano" and sometimes "sasaki and miyano," idk) - both are mlm high school romances and they're SO GOOD.

the owl house is a huge one for me. our flag means death. what we do in the shadows.

technically the six of crows duology isn't like, A Queer Book (Duology) but there are explicitly queer characters and who DOESN'T love a good heist??

i'm sure i'm forgetting some, i'm VVVVV bad at recalling recs off the top of my head, and i def am too big into fandom/fanfic and know most of my media isn't Actually queer rip

on that note, if y'all ever have any queer recs, PLZZZ hmu!! i have been itching more for like. adult-oriented content like OFMD and WWDITS, with adults figuring their shit out over high school coming of age, but OBVIOUSLY high school coming of age can still slap and i still def consume it. idk if there's a mom "i'll always love you" scene in it i'll cry automatically so

🏳️‍🌈 - Do you enjoy the colors of your preferred flag? Do you incorporate it into your outfits, decor, etc.?

YES THE BISEXUAL FLAG IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT <333 blue/purple/pink is THEEE best color combo, sorry not sorry <333 there are def other pretty flags (aro and ace flags each are fantastic, love the black/gray/white with a pop of color in them sm) but i love the bisexual flag so much. i absolutely wear it frequently. i have multiple tie-dyed clothing items that are this color scheme. i love wearing it, i love dyeing my hair this combination of colors, etc etc.

the genderqueer flag is fine enough but idk i'm not a huuuuge fan of the green/white/purple (esp also now that TERFs on twitter use it to identify each other?? bc those are also the suffragette colors. suffragettes: cool. TERFs: uncool. genderqueerness: banger)

the nonbinary flag hits the aro + ace "black/white/[color]" sweet spot but at the same time it feels like the yellow and purple are from different palettes..... there's a post abt it floating around somewhere that i big agree with......... hmmm

the aromantic flag is banger as previously stated, we love to see it

🏳️‍⚧️ - What Flag do you think has the best color scheme?

bisexual flag EZ. asexual, aromantic, agender, trans, and bear pride flags are also all v pretty / good combos!!

Sameee online spaces are so important!

Well I don't know about advice for coming out because it always depends on your personal situation and there's no easy way to handle something as difficult as coming out. But personally for me, these are a couple of things that helped, especially with having my sexuality seen as 'valid'

1. Most of what other people say about this that's negative is sheer ignorance and a lack of any empathy. So anything they say needs to be treated like a toddler going on that the moon is cheese, it's just nonsense.

2. There is not one valid argument against being queer, every single one of them is pretty garbage and it always helps to have that counter statement to crap like "it's a phase" ready, even if you aren't going to to converse with the person, you know you're valid and right in what you're feeling and doing.

3. Being as pig headed as possible really helped. No one knows you better than you know yourself. No one knows what you're feeling better than yourself. Not even your friends and family, sometimes.

4. I personally do think this is an idealogical growth phase and more people, not just indians are getting to be more aware and sensitised to these issues. There's ups and downs and it feels like it never ends, but there is always progress. And you and I and anyone with a little empathy and understanding can be a part of that progress.

5. Its never our job to educate people and argue with them and against their homophobic and transphobic mindsets. If they wanted to truly learn, they would. They wouldn't argue, they would listen and maybe ask questions with your consent and comfort in mind. So take a break from doing that and just enjoy being you.