#queenofthyme

TO: ShepardCommander FROM: ChambersYeoman SUBJECT: Checking in

Commander,

Your visits to the lower decks have gone down very well. Most of the crew seems very reassured that you don’t consider us to be your enemy, despite your experiences with Cerberus. I would like to discuss those past experiences with you, if it would be at all possible. Your past trauma may be something we can soothe through information sharing exercises

Kelly Chambers

P.S. I hear you kicked ass at Skyllian poker last night. Shame the stakes were so tame.

TO: ChambersYeoman FROM: ShepardCommander SUBJECT: Re: Checking in

Tame? Would you have preferred to see him running for the dorms in nothing but his skivvies? It’s very doable, just say the word. 

I have it on good authority that dinner tonight is going to be not only edible but enjoyable. Come join me in the mess, you can finally get that in with Joker and the doctor you’ve been hinting at. Maybe even a conversation with Garrus if he’s done with his calibrations for the day.

Shepard

TO: ShepardCommander FROM: ChambersYeoman SUBJECT: Re: Checking in

That wasn’t an answer to the main question. I am here to facilitate your needs, not only when it comes to the administration of your work, but also to assist with your recovery following the traumas you have already experienced.

Don’t make me schedule an appointment in the diary.

Kelly Chambers

TO: ChambersYeoman FROM: ShepardCommander SUBJECT: Re: Checking in

Don’t threaten me with a good time. Because that will not be a good time. I can handle it, Kelly. I’d much rather enjoy the view from my terminal than avoid it because you’re openly psycho-analyzing me. Call me crazy, I prefer the stealth approach when it comes to me. Just don’t pop up unexpectedly in my shower.

Shepard

TO: ChambersYeoman FROM: ShepardCommander SUBJECT: Aliens vs. humans

Kelly,

You mentioned you don’t see race or gender, just character. Does that only apply to aliens, or can I stop pretending to be a supposedly normal, well-adjusted human being in your presence? I can definitely guarantee I have a whole lot of character.

Shepard

P.S. Grunt has promised not to crowd you in the elevator so long as you promise not to smell so good when you walk past him. That’s his compromise, so I’m going to find you a perfume that turns krogan stomachs. No offense.

TO: ShepardCommander FROM: ChambersYeoman SUBJECT: Re: Aliens vs. humans

Commander, that subject line is very misleading. But thank you for speaking with Grunt, it is very much appreciated. I believe the line of perfumes made by Goddess Essentials are particularly repugnant to krogan, though I would not like to cause him any actual harm. Perhaps I should just take the service ladders instead.

Kelly

TO: ChambersYeoman FROM: ShepardCommander SUBJECT: Re: Aliens vs. humans

Have to give Miranda something to get excited about before disappointing her with the actual subject matter. And yes, I know you’re reading my mail, Miranda. I will find a way to stump you.

As for you, Yeoman Kelly Chambers, was that a note of disapproval I detect in this highly unemotional, non-contextual manner of communication? Perhaps you should reprimand me in person if you don’t want to hurt my feelings.

Shepard

TO: KellyGrrl FROM: JShepReborn SUBJECT: Privacy at last

Well, hello there, KellyGrrl. At last I have tracked down your private comm. (I tracked it down, you did not give it to me. That’s the story and we’re sticking to it, no matter what Mr Illusive might say.)

That said, are you sure you’re doing okay? You seemed very rattled by what happened with the Collector ship trap. Not complaining about the hug - in fact, feel free to hug rather than salute - but you know you’re allowed to have an emotional response to a stressful situation too, right? Hugs go both ways. I have muscular arms that give safe harbour-type hugs, so I’m told. They’re open for you anytime.

Shepard

P.S. Miranda, if anything said in these private communications end up in your reports to The Illusive Man, you will learn exactly why a large number of people in this galaxy are personally afraid of me.

TO: JShepReborn FROM: KellyGrrl SUBJECT: Re: Privacy at last

I’m fine, Shepard. I was more worried for you than for myself. After all, you were the one trapped on a Collector ship we have no way of destroying if it came to it, and you would not have been there had our own organization manipulated the situation. The end does not always justify the means, especially where your life is concerned. A highlight of my day is watching you walk away ... that is quite the physique you have cultivated there.

Goodness, that was very flirty, wasn’t it?

Kelly

TO: KellyGrrl FROM: JShepReborn SUBJECT: Flirty McFlirtersson called ...

... she’d like you to know your butt flirts with me behind your back. Don’t sweat about doing it consciously, you have my attention, honey.

TO: JShepReborn FROM: KellyGrrl SUBJECT: Re: Flirty McFlirtersson called ...

Oh.

Oh, my.

In that case, we definitely need to swing by the Citadel some time soon. I have an order on hold at This One’s that will do wonders for my rear end’s escapades.

TO: KellyGrrl FROM: JShepReborn SUBJECT: Re: Flirty McFlirtersson called ...

Tease.

Citadel, here we come.

*********************************************************

“Commander, you have a new message at your private terminal.”

Commander Jane Shepard raised a brow at the very formal tone in her yeoman’s voice, glancing to where the other woman stood at her own terminal. Kelly was focused on her work, apparently utterly engrossed in what looked like a logistics report. Around them, the command center of the Normandy buzzed with industry, crew members going about their work with warm efficiency. If they were aware of the flirtation between their commander and the yeoman, they gave no sign of it.

The commander activated her terminal, absent-mindedly opening the first message without really registering who it was from.

And stared.

That was ... Yes, that was a very nice picture of Kelly. Possibly not command center appropriate, though.

Clearing her throat, Shepard quickly closed the message, encoding it and sending it through several rounds of encryption back to her own private comm channel before deleting it from this terminal as thoroughly as possible. Acutely aware of her dry throat, she coughed delicately before stepping away.

“I’ll be in my cabin,” she informed the yeoman, biting down on a laugh at the knowing smirk that flickered on Kelly’s face as she acknowledged the information. 

Wicked woman, that one, but so much fun.