#quarantineposting

This may sound stupid but all this time got me thinking, got me wondering

I thought were were it, but I’m filled with regret, over something that apparently didn’t exist

And it’s not your fault, maybe it is, I never figured that out

You see if you could see me, maybe we’d be shiny

And I know this sounds cliche...

but I don’t understand why we don’t see things the same way

I was fine, then you caught my eye, but I guess your eye was all that I ever caught

I only wanted you cause I thought you felt the same

I guess not, its just my fault

This feeling I got made me think that things were worth it

I felt broken and this was the only glue I was using

And it took some time to get right, but I tried so hard and I thought maybe

just maybe

I was too late.

Maybe I just never met you midway, but I guess you were just running the other way

And now I’m lost as to what I want

I don’t think I want you, see you weren’t perfect, maybe seemed it at first, but after some time I didn’t get nervous, and the ugly spilled out with some insecurities

I miss what I thought was a feeling, I guess I’m in mourning

I guess we are different, afterall, you think to live your life for the screen,

and all I seem to have is some anxiety

I’m not suprising nor suprised

Maybe you had interest in a life you thought I was hiding, or could offer as a prize, and ran just as soon as you saw I was empty

And now I’m feeling less than adequate, wondering if only I’d done things different

but it was all in my head, wasn’t it?

I’m glad I got closure and now my vision isn’t obscure, cause I’d be the first to admit I don’t know you anymore

I never thought we’d be this different

While I’m over here hiding, your over there pretending, but the difference is I was never lying except to myself, and I was just telling myself

you were pretending not to care

all yo do is make it seem like your missing your girl and now I’m wondering which one that was

I don’t feel angry, just empty and I’m at a loss for how lost I must of been

Chasing a tail that was really out there for someone else

My Fortus Annus pillow fooooort!! ^_^ it’s small but I had a VISION late last night as to how this would work: the three tall lights and the coatrack, every sheet and blanket of mine, and ALL the soft pillows, all piled-on/draped-over the futon couch. I finished it off with homemade cookies and a fully charged Nintendo Switch. ^_^ I encountered one trouble of getting the lights to keep standing up, so I employed some counterbalances from our makeshift “home gym” that’s been developing over quarantine and it worked out! It’s very cozy I am inside right now. :3c