#quackerz

When a clan of mallard ducks come & threaten the manderine ducks in China, the result is a full-out cold war. All the while, 2 children of the clans fall in love. All the while, a witch tries to steal one of the ducks in order to... control the sun, I think. I’m not entirely sure.

The first thing you’d notice in this film is that the animation is quite okay. With no-name CGI-animated movies, I always expect something along the lines of Hoodwinked, but this is far better looking. Don’t get me wrong, it’s no Pixar or even DreamWorks; things keep flying at the screen like it’s supposed to be in 3D & the character designs look mostly the same & kinda boring, but it still looks pretty good. Especially the hair- er, feathers... though it certainly looks a lot like hair. But I’m pretty sure birds don’t have hair, they have feathers... But in any case, the hair-feathers look honestly fantastic. Probably because this film has a decent studio, Shout Factory, behind it (who has made a name for itself by buying the distribution rights to major properties like My Little Pony, Mystery Science Theater 3000, & Panty And Stocking). Well, I say the animation’s decent, but that’s only half true. The ducks look just fine, but the humans look absolutely awful! They are way too stretchy &, honestly, ugly! I can’t stand to look at them, let alone see them move. Not to mention how both species have the same lip-syncing problem. Actually, why are there humans in this at all?! The relationship between the 2 duck gangs & they’re children a-la Romeo & Duck-ulet were more than enough! Why throw humans into the mix? Especially if the 2 humans we get the most of are the annoying comic relief who don’t get a single laugh! There should be a rule: if your movie is already a comedy, don’t put in comic relief! And while I’m on the subject, a film titled Quackerz is noticeably unfunny. I’m serious, I don’t think I even giggled once! For whatever reason, the drama & story are better done than the comedy in this, & even that isn’t that well done. How about characterization? Not great, but they surprisingly work off of each other pretty well. Namely, the 2 love-birds (see what I did there?). They have a good amount of chemistry... okay, not a whole lot, but it’s much more than say Belle & Edward in Twilight or Chris Pratt & Jennifer Lawrence in Passengers. They’re relationship is similar to Lincoln & Ronnie Anne in The Loud House or Lightning McQueen & Cruz in Cars 3. There’s definitely a spark of some kind that could be built upon... that is if this was a better movie. Outside of their chemistry, the characterization sucks! The main duck, whatever his name is, is quite useless. He even admits it to himself, he can’t do anything right. And by the end, he still can’t! The villain is pretty one-dimensional & uninteresting. The only tolerable one is Erica, the main she-duck. She has character & somewhat charisma, as little as it is. But when she’s being compared to everyone else in this movie, she’s practically Buzz Lightyear! And it ends exactly how you’d expect it to end, because of the nature of these reviews, I can’t say exactly what goes down. But take the plot I gave you & imagine how a shitty kids movie would end it; you’re right. And along with being super predictable, it kinda takes away from the movie as a whole. Imagine, instead, it has the balls to end like how Romeo And Juliet ends. Wouldn’t that change, at the very least, make you respect it more? I think I would! Overall, Quackerz is only decent when compared to other shitty movies. The animation’s pretty good... when you compare it to Foodfight or Rock Dog. The main leads have plenty of chemistry... when you compare it to Ghostmates or Sausage Party. The story’s fairly decent... actually no, it sucks no matter how you look at it. But I can say it’s not as awful as you may be inclined to believe at first, but it does get dangerously close.