Yesterday I woke up at 4:45am and my hamster senses were tingling. I went to check on the community bin with the girls and found myself in my own worst nightmare. Thursday night I introduced wheels to the pups. I gave the boys a 12" saucer and gave the girls an upright 12" wheel which was huge and sturdy. The design is very similar to the niteangel wheels, with a Plexiglas back/stand. I didn't think to remove it before bed. I've used this wheel with every litter since the Pupseas with absolutely no issue. Unfortunately early yesterday morning I found #Maxi wedged behind the wheel, deceased. There was nothing I could do. It was a freak accident. She was wedged between the stand and the wheel itself. By the state of her body, she died quickly and likely painlessly. However, it is a tragedy. Maxi was the smallest pup from the #PupsGotBack, only larger than her tiny counterpart Lulu. I made sure she got first access to the mush. I'd bring it to her in bed and let her lick it off my fingers. I helped her flourish and cheered her on as she grew. And now, because of my mistake, she is gone. Hindsight is 20/20, and accidents happen. My brain knows it wasn't my fault, but my heart is shattered. It feels like a hot knife twisting in my gut. I know the longer I am breeding the more likely bad things will happen. All things, including safe toys, carry an element of risk. Gluteus now has her Maximus back. I'm glad they have each other. Maximus had already found a human too who had begun to love her and anticipate her adoption at the end of next week. It was incredibly difficult to tell her of Maxi's passing but I am incredibly grateful she was so understanding and kind. I am so sorry Maxi. I feel like I failed you. My only consolation is knowing every day of your life was filled with love. I gave you everything I could. I wish I could fix this and bring you back. Sweet dreams my darling girl. You are so, so loved. Rest in peace. #memorial https://www.instagram.com/p/CSSKqHHlLYe/?utm_medium=tumblr