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I'm spoonerizing phrases for oral sex and getting mad at myself because "duck my sick" ("get out of the way before I projectile vomit on you") has been stuck in my head much too long when I could have replaced it with "cuck my sock" ("make my sock angry and/or aroused by wearing its assigned partner as part of a new and mismatched set of socks")
whole hilarious x rated sock puppet show could have been happening in my head all this time
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Sometimes I think I'm too old and my own idea of what's sexy has been irrevocably shaped by the boring norms of the 1990s and so I'll never fully reach the level of erotic weirdness that the best minds on this site are capable of
And then I remember the sex scene I wrote about the programmer (my self-insert) overloading her software (also my self-insert) to the point of crashing, by means of too much input in too short a time-- accomplished via linguistic data with too many meanings per word (i.e. orgasm through puns)
and I realize, yeah maybe I could be weirder but this is enough, I'm happy
