#punishable

Things were great with Ellie when you first got back with her. It almost felt like a brand new relationship. She was slowly opening herself up to you; there were nights when the two of you would stay up til dawn discussing her past. You would console her after, even though she never shed a tear, what you heard was enough for you to cry. You were so happy at first. You were finally getting what you wanted. But everyday, you felt a sense of impending doom as if it could all be taken away with a snap of a finger. 

You looked up at Ellie, your eyes squinted as you fought to keep them open. Her fingers were pounding into you with so much force that it shook the bed. Her free hand rested on your cheek with her thumb in your mouth. You let out muffled whines, feeling dizzy as you were getting close to cumming again. 

“Shh, baby,” said Ellie. “You gotta stay quiet.”

You tried to speak but couldn't, Ellie’s thumb in the way. She sent you a devilish smirk. “What was that? Hm? I couldn't hear you,” she taunted. She slipped a third finger in, your eyes widening and a loud groan escaping your throat. 

“You like it when I stretch you out with my fingers?” You nodded profusely, sucking and biting her thumb harshly as you felt pressure in your lower abdomen. 

“You’re gonna cum? Yeah? You wanna cum for me baby?” 

You whined, practically begging without verbalizing that you wanted—no, needed—to cum again. It was becoming too much. This was the fifth time in a row and you could feel how wet the sheets were underneath you. It almost made you feel overwhelmed. Ellie had made you squirt twice. You didn't even know you could do that until tonight and she has overstimulated you many times before. You knew you would be dehydrated after this and you silently prayed that Ellie’s stamina was finally running low. Lord knows she could go on for hours and hours. The pressure was building up more. You were coated with sweat, shaking profusely as Ellie fingered your sensitive hole. Your moans grew louder, still muffled with Ellie’s thumb, as you felt yourself reach your peak. Once you knew it was finally coming, Ellie just stopped.

She pulled her fingers out of you and sucked on them, chuckling at your expression. “N-No, no,” you whined, bucking your hips up. “Fuck, Ellie! Why would you… why would you do that? I was right there.”

“I just like torturing you.”

You could've cried. You were so desperate for release and now it was slowly fading away. You could feel your cunt throbbing. You reached down, your fingers barely brushing your swollen clit before Ellie grabbed your wrist and pinned it aside your head.

“What was that?” Ellie questioned. “You don't get to finish. I don't want you to. You've had enough, don't you think?”

“But… but Ellie!”

“You'll live,” Ellie said harshly, a grin growing on her face. You shut your eyes to avoid eye contact with her. She placed a kiss on your pouty lips and stood up.  She disappeared into the bathroom that was connected to the bedroom, coming back with a towel. She placed it on the bed trying to soak up as much as she could. “It probably went through the sheets,” she mumbled to herself. You heard her phone vibrating on the bedside table. She picked it up and set it back down, rolling her eyes. “Call you back later, Dina.”

Your eyes shot open at the mention of Dina, Ellie’s ex girlfriend before you. From your knowledge, Dina was the reason Ellie decided to sleep around with women instead of dating them. She left Ellie for Jesse, their mutual friend, which broke her heart and made her close herself up.

“Ellie,” you whispered. “You’re talking to Dina?”

Ellie cocked an eyebrow. “What?”

“Why is Dina calling you? You’re speaking with her again?”

“Oh my god,” Ellie groaned.

“What?”

“I didn't even know you could hear me. Stop making a big deal out of it. I wasn't even talking to you.”

You tried raising up, your body weak and trembling from dehydration. You gave Ellie a nasty look, nasty enough to piss her off.

“Don't fucking look at me like that,” she snapped. “I hate when you do that.”

“Don't fucking speak to me like that. I was just saying, Ellie! Fuck. Way to ruin a good night.”

“Yeah, it’s my fault. Sure,” Ellie said sarcastically.

“Fucking Christ, Ellie! I was just asking! I don't want you talking to your ex girlfriend, it bothers me!”

“Why, does it hurt your feelings?” Ellie asked in a mocking tone. She pouted her lips a bit which made you furious.

“Yes, Ellie, it does. And it hurts that you're immediately overreacting and going off on me for saying something!”

“Oh, I’m overreacting?”

“Yes!”

“Well, you know what? I'm tired of you always getting insecure about dumb shit. I'm tired of you bringing it to my attention too. You know I wouldn't do anything with her and that's what pisses me off. We’re just friends. You’re accusing me of  bullshit when you know better than that. Knowing I’ll get pissed off,” Ellie suddenly squatted down by the side of the bed, looking up at you with a glare. “You know what, do us both a favor. Get a fucking diary and put your thoughts there. I don't care to hear them.”

She stood up straight, throwing the towel down on the ground and kicking it away from her feet. “You can be such a fucking bitch sometimes,” Ellie muttered under her breath. But to her surprise, you heard loud and clear what she said. You scrunched your face up, anger and hurt rushing through your veins. Your chest rose up and down with every breath, quickening as you felt yourself grow even more pissed off. You couldn't let it slide. You stood up, stumbling towards the dresser to yank it open. You grabbed a pair of clean clothes and shoved them on. Once you were dressed, you stormed out of the bedroom and into the living room where Ellie sat on the couch.

“Call me a bitch again, Williams. This time to my fucking face,” you spat out.

“You know what… I think I liked you better when you took shit from me.”

You chuckled dryly, resting your hand on your forehead in disbelief.

“Get out, I wanna be alone,” Ellie hissed.

“C’mon, Ellie. Go ahead. Just say it to my face and I'll leave you alone. I’ll stop accusing you of shit even though I never did. Say it, Ellie. Go ahead!”

“Get out!”

“Oh, you can't call me a bitch to my face? You have to be a fucking… a fucking pussy who talks shit under her breath?”

“No, I'm not afraid to call you a bitch. Because you can be a bitch sometimes and you're being one right now.”

“You know what? Since I'm such a fucking bitch, how about you text your other bitch Dina. Get a break from this one.”

Suddenly, Ellie held her phone out to you. “I already have,” she said.

You rushed over to the couch, bending over a bit to read the screen. Your eyes widened. You went to grab her phone but Ellie was quick to lock it and throw it next to her.

“Are you fucking serious, Ellie?”

You stood up straight and turned away from her, not letting her see the tears rolling down your face.

“You’re not tough shit anymore, huh? This is what you wanted, right?”

“You texted her before I even said anything!” you yelled, spinning back around to see her giving you that sly smile she used to when she'd break up with you. “And I’m being a fucking cunt! You know I wouldn't want you to fucking text her.”

“We’re not even doing anything.”

“My girlfriend is being such a bitch lol,” you said, using your fingers as quotation marks. “What idea is that supposed to give Dina?”

“I don't care. You know if I wanted to fuck her, I would've already done that.”

“Let me see your phone,” you demanded, holding your hand out. Ellie rolled her eyes, handing it over to you muttering something about how you wouldn't know the passcode to unlock it. You kept a straight face, snatching it from her hand and disappearing into the bathroom. You locked the door behind you and sat down on the closed toilet seat. With a shaky hand, your fingers tapped in the numbers 147369. It unlocked immediately. Ellie was stupid to think you couldn't guess that, especially when she has unlocked her phone in front of you a million times. It was easy. It was the three numbers on the left and right. A toddler could have guessed that.

You opened up her texts with Dina, ignoring the recent one she just sent. You scrolled up, your eyes scanning the texts for anything out of the ordinary. Ellie asked about JJ a lot. You weren't sure who that was until you stumbled across a picture of a baby. You almost felt bad. It must have hurt Ellie seeing that. But she didn't seem to care. She seemed happy for Dina. All these texts were completely normal it seemed. You sighed, thinking about giving up and just scrolling really high until you saw a bunch of photos being sent between them. You immediately scrolled back down, catching a glimpse of some of the texts Ellie sent to Dina along with nudes being shared between the two. You swallowed the lump in your throat, locking the phone and standing up.

You brought it out to Ellie, throwing it on the cushion next to her. “Told you you wouldn't figure out my passcode,” Ellie teased.

“She doesn’t feel as good as you,” you said. Ellie’s whole demeanor dropped. “She doesn't feel as—”

“Babe, that wasn't… what it looked like.”

“I don't really care, Ellie,” you sighed. You began to walk away but Ellie was up and pulling you back before you could make it to the door. You tried shoving her hands off but Ellie kept a firm grip on you.

“Look at me, please…” Ellie nearly whined. “We were broken up. I was lonely, I-I was just saying things.”

You stared down at her with a blank expression. You didn't even care anymore. Your relationship with Ellie had gone too far. You were weak; always coming back to her when she'd break up with you. You took her back after you caught her talking up some girl. Now you find out she's been texting Dina for awhile and even sent nudes once. You didn't check the date of the messages, Ellie knew you would be too focused on the photos so it was easy to lie to you. But you didn't care. Together or not, Ellie still did it.

“Say something please?”

“Go fuck yourself,” you ripped yourself out of her grip and stomped into the bedroom, slamming and locking the door behind you. All you wanted to do was cry. But your tears had dried up and all that was left was the urge to get even with her. There was no telling if it was just nudes or if Ellie met up with Dina to fuck her. So, maybe you’d send nudes to someone else. And you knew exactly who to look for. You got on Ellie’s side of the bed, grabbing your phone from under your pillow and opening up instagram. You typed in the username of the girl you knew had a crush on you in high school. Abby Anderson.

Abby was beautiful. But you were too damn focused on your little crush on Ellie back then to give her any attention. You stopped hanging around her once you got with Ellie which made you feel awful. You wouldn't be surprised if she ignored you or blocked you. But it didn't hurt to try.

you: hey! long time no see:)

abby: oh wow hey

abby: haven't seen you since high school. you look good

you: thanks abby, you look rlly good too. you buffed up

abby: thanks:)

you: sorry for messaging you so late. saw you were back in town on your story and you've been on my mind since. just wanted to see how you were doing

abby: yeah, im in town for a few days. i’m here a few days out of every month lol. but im great, how are you?

you: hmmm could be better

you: why do u come back every month?

abby: mainly to catch up with friends but also i just like seeing my dad as cringe as that is

you: that's sweet

you: maybe we could catch up with each other?:)

abby: i didn't think you'd wanna see me. we weren't rlly close near the end of school.

you: yeah i know:\ that's my fault. i knew you had a crush on me and i didn't reciprocate it at the time. i was focused on someone else and started dating her and i felt like i was hurting u somehow by being so close to u so i distanced myself

you: i regret that, im sorry

abby: wtf you knew i liked you??

abby: and it's okay. i understand

you: abby you would blush every time i spoke to u

abby: fuck that's embarrassing

abby: wait

abby: “at the time” ??

you: hm… youve been on my mind.

abby: how so?

You contemplated your next move. You slowly lifted your shirt up, exposing the bottom half of your breasts but keeping your nipples covered. You took a photo and sent it to her. She immediately opened it up. You felt your heart beating out of your chest, the anticipation of her response eating you up.

abby: oh fuck

abby: i wasn't expecting that

you: too forward?

abby: is it too forward for me to say i wanna see more?

you: i’ll show you whatever you wanna see abby:)

abby: fuck me

You and Abby began sending nudes back and forth, saying dirty things in between them and complimenting each other. Abby sent one that nearly made you whine. Her toned arms were in the photo, making you squirm in the bed and squeeze your thighs together. She looked so delicious. You took more photos to send to her, ignoring the thought of Ellie all alone in the living room.

Ellie’s eyes never left the bottom crack of the door, watching for movement to figure out what you were doing in there. She heard the occasional shuffling of the sheets but no shadows crept through the door. She had her phone against her ear, whispering to Dina through the receiver.

“I fucked up,” she said. “I don't know if she’ll ever forgive me for it.”

“I agree that it was wrong of you to keep my nudes for so long but you have to try and explain to her that we slept together when the two of you were broken up. I don't want her to think I tried taking you away from her.”

Ellie was silent. She had no idea how to break the news to Dina.

“Ellie? You were broken up with her, right?”

“I mean… we were the next day.”

“Ellie!”

“I know…”

“Oh my God, Ellie! I feel so sick. I never would've done that had I known,” Dina stated, aggravation and disgust in her tone.

“That’s why I didn't say anything.”

“God, you're so messed up Ellie. Maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore. I worry you focus too much on my life and I definitely don't want to interfere with your relationship. She seems like a sweet girl. Go and apologize to her, fix your relationship and let me go.”

“Dina, you know I don't love you. I see you as my friend but it doesn't hurt me to not speak with you. That night I was saying fucked up things that I didn't mean. I wasn't fair to you and I’m sorry for lying to you.”

“I say you're focused on my life because you always ask about JJ. I think you’re still attached to me,” said Dina.

“No… I like seeing JJ because… pft, I don't know. Maybe I've been thinking about asking her if she wants kids with me. And seeing JJ makes me feel… I don’t know. Seeing him makes me think I need to grow up and be a mother. I want to be a mother.”

Dina was silent after Ellie’s admission.

“I won't talk to you again. You're right. I need to fix this with her. I can't lose her again. Bye.”

Ellie hung up and set her phone down on the table. She rested her chin on the back of her hand, contemplating on what to say to you and how to apologize. She felt so sick to her stomach.

You got up from the bed after you were done sending pics to Abby, shutting the light off and getting back under the covers. Your heart was pounding while you were thinking of what to say next.

you: maybe we could meet up when u have the chance. i wanna see if you’re all bark no bite

abby: oh i bite

you: yeah?

abby: tomorrow night?

you: just tell me where and i’ll be there

Abby sent you the address to a club right outside of town. It was by the highway and it was a place you've never been to but heard so much about. Abby said her friends, Nora and Manny, were taking her there. But they wouldn't notice nor mind if she disappeared for awhile. You confirmed a time to meet up with her and set your phone down on the bed next to you. Your stomach was twisting and turning; you were full of shame and guilt. A tear slipped down your cheek. It hurt you to do this to Ellie. You wondered if you'd even be able to go through with it. How did Ellie ever do it, you thought. It was so difficult. How could she not struggle? Did she think of you when she did it? You thought of her the whole time.

Ellie was lying down on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. You had turned the light off in the bedroom right when she was about to knock on the door. She didn't want to bother you after that. She felt like crying but she never cries. She had no clue how to let out all the emotions she was feeling. She was so used to keeping it hidden inside. And the only person she was able to open up to a bit was angry with her. Hopefully tomorrow, she'd be able to explain herself. She prayed you would give her another chance.

-

You stared at yourself in the mirror after you finished putting on your makeup. You were feeling nauseated knowing you were leaving you and Ellie's home to fuck another girl. You tried to excuse it in your head. Ellie has done this to you and she never cared. What's the problem with having your own fun with other women? How is it fair she can and you can’t?

You stood up, going to the full body mirror to study your outfit. You wore a short, white silk dress with fishnets and combat boots. You let out a shaky breath, trying to calm your nerves. You were starting to feel really bad but deep down, you wanted this. It wasn't just about getting even with Ellie anymore.

Ellie had been home from work for hours, just waiting for you to finally leave the bedroom so she could talk to you. But you never did. Ellie would hear shuffling every now and then on the other side of the door but you never came. She sighed, deciding finally that she needed to take a shower. She wished you'd at least let her in for that but went to the guest bathroom. Hopefully you'd be out of the bedroom by the time she was done.

You could hear Ellie walking down the hallway followed by the sound of a door opening and shutting. You took this as the perfect opportunity to sneak out. You grabbed your purse and phone, sending Abby a quick message.

you: see you soon;)

-

You were already pulling up to the club by the time Ellie got out of the shower. When she saw light coming into the living room from the open door, she started rushing towards it. “Babe?” she called out, peeking her head into the entrance of the room. When she saw you weren't there, she made her way to the kitchen. But there were no signs of you. She walked towards the front door to where her keys were and noticed yours was gone. Her heart ached at the sight. Ellie plopped down onto the couch, phone in hand already dialing your number.

Hey, it's— 

Ellie hung up and dialed again.

Hey, it’s—

“Fuck!” Ellie groaned out in frustration, slamming her phone down on the ground. Her hands found itself into her hair, tugging at the strands. Where were you? Ellie couldn't stop thinking about how once again for the millionth time, she fucked up. How could she be so stupid to risk losing you over women who don't mean shit to her?

You walked inside the club, the loud music making your insides vibrate. It didn't help at all with the nerves and excitement you were feeling. You wandered through the crowd, looking all around for Abby when suddenly a tall blonde was in your view. You couldn't believe this was happening. You pushed your way through the people until you made it to a clearing. The space led you straight to her. You walked slowly but confidently, a smile on your face once you finally made it behind her. You reached up and tapped her muscular shoulder.

Abby turned around quickly, looking down at you with a confused look until it registered that it was you. Her eyes softened, a smile playing on her lips as she held her arms out to hug you. You leaned against her side awkwardly, inhaling the scent of pine. Abby pulled you away and leaned forward, her lips barely grazing against your ear. “I didn't think you’d show up,” she yelled over the music.

“Why would you say that?” you questioned in her ear.

“I thought I was dreaming!”

You felt a blush form on your cheeks. You reached your hand up and gently placed it on the side of her neck.

“Still think you’re dreaming?”

Abby stood up straight, her eyes trailing down your body with a smirk. She held her hand out to you. You took it, allowing her to guide you through the crowd of bodies. You glanced backwards at her friends sitting at the bar, who were too lost in conversation to notice that Abby left. Hopefully they won't come looking for her. Abby opened the door and led you into a tiny, dingy restroom with a flickering light. She locked the door behind her and turned towards you, getting closer and closer until your back was against the wall.

“I know this is disgusting,” she apologized, referring to the restroom.

“I like disgusting.”

Abby inhaled deeply, reaching out and placing her hands on your hips. “Fuck,” she whispered. “I want to take my time with you.”

She pressed her lips firmly against yours, moaning at the contact. You wrapped your arms around her neck and pulled yourself up on your tippy toes, deepening the passionate kiss. Her hands left your hips and cupped your face. She slid her tongue across your upper lip, begging for an entrance. You parted your lips and darted your tongue out against hers, the kiss growing sloppier by the second as you clawed at her shirt. She picked you up and balanced you against the wall. Your legs wrapped around her waist instinctively. You pulled away to take a deep breath, batting your eyelashes up at her.

“Abby?” you breathed out.

“Yeah?”

“Did you ever fantasize about me?”

Abby’s brows turned upwards, her lips parted in a slight pout as every thought she ever had about you entered her mind. “I did,” she admitted.

“Tell me.”

“Why tell when I can show?” Abby teased, her fingers tracing over your clothed breast. You shuddered at the contact, arching your back slightly off the wall, desperate to feel more.

“I-I want you to tell me with your fingers inside me.”

Your words excited Abby. She wasted no time lifting up your dress to see you had no panties on with the fishnets. Her skilled fingers ripped an opening, exposing your wet pussy to the cool air.

“I always wondered what your pussy looked like,” said Abby, her thumb rubbing circles in your inner thigh. “It's prettier than I imagined. Fuck, you’re so wet.”

Abby looked up at your shoulders, reaching up to drag the spaghetti straps down your arms. You lifted them up and out, letting the torso of the dress slip down to reveal your chest. Abby leaned down and wrapped a mouth around your nipple, her tongue circling and flicking it. Your soft moans echoed around you. Your hands gripped the back of her head tightly. Finally, your thoughts of Ellie were subsiding. The only thing on your mind was Abby. Abby, Abby, Abby. 

She pulled away, a soft pop sound escaping her lips as she broke the contact. She glanced down at your dripping cunt, desperate to touch it. To taste it. She set you down onto your feet so she could get on her knees. She grabbed your right leg and brought it over her shoulder, her hand wrapped around your thigh. She raised her free hand up to your pussy, her fingers sliding up your folds gathering your slick. You let out a shaky breath. She smiled, placing the pads of her fingers in her mouth and sucking them.

“You taste so good,” she complimented. Before you could thank her, her middle and third finger slid inside of you. You gasped at the feeling, your nails digging into her exposed shoulders. Abby watched your face carefully, her fingers going in and out at a steady pace. She shut her eyes for a split second to  focus on the sounds of pleasure that spilled from your lips.

“You have no idea just how much I thought about doing this to you,” she whispered against your thigh. “How badly I wanted to hear you moan my name.”

“Abby,” you whined.

“Say it again.”

You called out her name again, resting your head back against the wall with your eyes squeezed shut. It felt so good, her fingers were long and reached parts of you that you never could reach. Parts Ellie couldn't reach. Your eyes shot back open at the thought of Ellie. How is it that she’s still plaguing your mind when you have a hot, buff woman on her knees for you, wanting nothing more than to get you off? You push her away once again, glancing down at Abby with heavy eyes. “You feel so good,” you purred.

Abby brought her face closer and closer to your heat, her mouth slightly watering as her stomach did flips. She couldn't believe this was actually happening. She had an angel above her, moaning out her name and gripping onto her shoulders. You looked so beautiful. Abby felt as if you didn't deserve this. Getting fingered in a trashy club bathroom? She wished she could have taken you to the comfort of her bed.

Her lips wrapped around your clit and sucked harshly, eliciting a groan from you. You let out a string of cuss words as she drew circles with her tongue. Your legs trembled, making Abby grip your thigh harder to try and keep you held up as she ate you out and fingered you simultaneously.

“Fuck, Abby!” you hissed. “I-I… fuck.”

“Is this too much?” Abby questioned, taking her fingers out of you.

“God no, please don't stop. I… I just don't wanna fall.”

Abby gently pushed your thigh off her shoulder and stood up. She reached down to pick it up again, holding it against her hip while her fingers went back to work on your clit. You placed your hands on Abby’s chest, resting your forehead against it.

“Is that better?”

You hummed out an agreement. You gripped onto her shirt tightly and threw your head back so you could look up at her. “T-Tell me what you fantasized about,” you rushed out between breaths.

“It’s filthy. You’re too sweet. I don’t wanna weird you out.”

“Y-You don't know just how filthy I am, Abby.”

Abby’s fingers slid back down to your entrance. She shoved them in roughly, curling her fingers upwards onto your g spot.

“I always wanted to tie you up,” Abby breathed out. “Eat you out, make you cum over and over again. I wouldn't stop until you begged me to.”

Abby bit her lip, waiting for you to protest the idea. But your grip hardened, your nails digging into her flesh through her shirt.

“I’d leave marks all over you. I’d want everyone to know you’re mine.”

Ellie.

You pulled yourself into Abby's chest, burying your face into her neck. Stop thinking about her.

“Are you mine?”

Abby. Abby. Abby.

You could feel yourself growing closer. Your knees wobbled, causing Abby to hold you against her tighter. Your whines got louder and louder while your hips bucked. You were almost there. The pit in your stomach felt more intense than ever. You were desperate for release. Her fingers were drilling into you, speeding up when she felt you tighten around her.

“Are you, baby?”

Your orgasm came over you quick. You cried out in pleasure, dropping your foot back onto the ground and pushing Abby’s hand out of you. She held your trembling body in her strong arms, mumbling praises softly against the top of your head. Your heart was pounding out of your chest. Abby kept holding you while you tried catching your breath, your legs weak and close to giving out. The impact of your climax was overpowering emotionally and physically. You didn't know what to do now. You didn't think this far ahead. You just stayed in Abby's arms and she let you.

“Are you okay?” inquired Abby, running her fingers gently through your hair.

“Y-Yeah,” you stuttered out.

“Do you want me to let go?”

“Please don’t.”

You stuffed your face into her chest, taking in her scent. It was so different from Ellie. God, she’s home all alone. Is she wondering where you went? Is there another fight waiting for you back home? Fuck, Abby doesn't know about Ellie. God, you were a horrible person. You felt so close to Abby at this moment. You didn't know if you should even say anything to ruin the moment. But it was so fucked up of you. She’s a good person. You were just as bad as Ellie.

You finally pulled away from Abby, pulling up the straps of your dress and pushing down the end of it so it fell above your knees. It didn't cover up the ripped fishnets, though. You didn't realize just how big of a hole Abby had made.

“Thank you, Abby. I had a great time with you,” you said.

Abby cocked an eyebrow. “You're leaving already?”

“Um, y-yeah… I’m sorry, I'm just exhausted.”

Abby chuckled. “Yeah, I did a number on you huh?”

“You most definitely did.”

You smiled up at her, getting lost in her sultry gaze. The two of you stood there just staring at each other for a few minutes, unsure of what to say next. Abby placed her hand on your cheek, caressing it softly. She pressed her lips on your forehead and let it linger there for a few beats before pulling back. “It’s a shame I go home tomorrow,” she mumbled. “I wouldn't mind seeing you again before I leave.”

“I wouldn't mind it, either.”

Your own confession shocked you.

“Listen, not to make this awkward…” Abby began. You tilted your head slightly in confusion. “But after you went to bed last night, I… found you on Facebook.”

She knows.

“If this was a one time thing, I understand. Maybe you're in a rough patch with your girlfriend but… just let me know, okay?”

You felt your chin wobble as tears threatened to spill down your cheeks. “I-I’m sorry, I’m not mad,” she attested. “Please don't think I'm mad. I wanted this and I knew what I was going into. But I will say I would've preferred it if you were straight up.”

“I’m sorry, Abby,” you choked. “I… I know it was wrong of me, I was… I was getting back at my girlfriend for cheating on me countless times and I feel so guilty because I—” you suddenly stopped, taking a deep breath to calm yourself down before talking again. “I don't want to go. I-I mean, I don't… want this to be a one and done thing but I don't know if I can leave her either. I'm so conflicted. But there's only so much I can take and you’re so different from her and genuine.”

You couldn't stop rambling on and on. You were worried Abby would get angry and either tell you to shut up or just walk away like Ellie does. But she listened to every word that came out of your mouth, her brows furrowed in sorrow as if she felt what you were saying.

“I-I love her, you know? But she promised she’d change and she won't. I know she won't. I'm the fool who keeps going back. I deserve better, I know. But I'm so used to her. She was my first everything. She changed me.”

“I understand,” said Abby.

“I'm really sorry for putting you in this position.”

“Don't be,” she reassured. “Listen, I need you to know that you can get out of your situation. It's tough but you can and you will. If you want to come by my place tomorrow, you can. Even if it isn't for sex. We can talk more, get to know each other.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. But after tomorrow, if it’s still her… then we can't. Not again.”

“I know,” you whispered softly.

Fuck. You didn't know what to do. All you could think about was going home and telling Ellie what happened. You knew she would be angry but would she be hurt?

“I gotta go,” you said. “But I might take up your offer. I had a great time tonight.”

“I did too,” Abby admitted with a sad smile. “Well, just let me know, okay? Do you want me to walk you to your car?”

“Sure, I'd like that.”

You walked side by side with Abby, your arm wrapped around hers so the two of you wouldn't get separated in the crowd. But even when the both of you were finally outside, you didn't let go. You stayed intertwined with her.

-

You stood at your front door for a few minutes. You were too scared of what you were walking into. You were unsure of what you’d say, how you'd react, nothing. All you knew was you were on the brink of breaking down.

You turned the doorknob and pushed the door open. The full moon cast a light into the dark room and you caught a glimpse of Ellie on the couch, facing your direction. You felt your heart sting at the sight. Fuck. Fuck. You shut the door behind you and leaned against it. Ellie flicked on the lamp next to her so she could get a better look at you. She said nothing as she studied your outfit. Her eyes trailed further down to your ripped tights, exposing a few bruises you had no idea you got from Abby digging her fingers into your skin. Ellie was stuck on it, so much going through her head. She envisioned a faceless woman touching you, fucking you, making love to you… and she lost it.

Ellie choked on a sob, doubling down into her lap and covering her face. You watched in silence, too scared to move. You knew if you did you would just break down with her.

“I did this,” Ellie wailed.

You couldn't hold back anymore. Tears were flowing down your cheeks and you were suddenly on your knees in front of her, a death grip on her arms begging her to look at you.

“It’s over, right? It's over?”

“I don't know,” you bawled. “E-Ellie, I felt so sick. I feel so sick. I couldn't stop… th-thinking about you and I feel so guilty. I liked it. I just wanted to get back at you, Ellie! And I-I’m so stupid. You said you were only texting her but it was the final straw for me! Because this isn't the first time.”

“I lied,” Ellie admitted, her voice cracking. “I slept with her, I slept with other women, I did. I did.”

“O-Other women?”

“You didn't see?”

Oh my God. You were so focused on Dina that you didn't even think to look at her other texts or any dms on social media. It was worse than you thought.

“When was the last time?” you asked.

“A w-week ago.”

You fell back onto your behind, scooting away from Ellie as far as you could get until your back was up against the table.

“I'm fucked up and I’m sorry.”

You had nothing else to say. You just stayed on the floor crying with her, knowing that yes, it was over. Of course it was over. You got back on your knees, crawling slowly towards her and resting your head on her lap. You had no idea what you were doing. You were so fucking angry and hurt, yet you felt the need to be close to her. The two of you stayed like that for hours, just crying and attempting to comfort each other at the same time.

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