#pump pump pumpkin

This was another lake house weekend. When I am away from home, I am generally without the normal resources that allow me to govern my dining philosophy, so I come completely untethered. Also, the lake house always seems to have danish.

Danish

Pancakes

Raspberries

Cranberry nut loaf

Sausage

I don't even like danish that much, but if you put it in front of me, I am gonna do what needs to be done. The sausage was as close to protein as I was going to get, so I ate about 40 of them for safety.

Lemon sandwich cookie

a-HAAAaa!! I found a tightly sealed jar of sandwich cookies and when I opened the jar, I smelled false lemon! I love it when a cookie catches me off guard. It's like a refreshing kick to the crotch.

WhoNu chocolate chip nutri-cookie

Yeah this is old Nus but still good Nus. Nobody ever really contacts me about this blog and that's fine because I am a high risk individual, but if you haven't tried one of these nutritionally complete sweet-wafers yet, please get in touch because you are officially my stupidest reader and I want to send you a plaque.

Utz Sweet Potato Chips

I think Utz might have taken the lead here. I tried the Terra ones last week and figured they'd be the ace #1 because their Beets and Sweets is usually good, but now I know it my heart that it was always Utz. The Utz was inside you all along.

Also inside me all along was an endless conveyor belt of all the cookies listed so far. Ka-chunk ka-chunk ka-chunk state of the art cookie destroying machine MADE IN THE USA.

Meatballs

Roll

We had some chores to do at the lake house and one thing I know is that any tiny speck of manual labor poking into the day requires an aching, audibly shifting thorax, packed spandex-tight with anything I can find. I found meatballs. They were on the stove, so I guess that was intentional. I also found rolls nearby. So resourceful, like an air crash survivor.

Pumpkin Snickers

Speaking of survival, we built a fire that was hot enough to forge diamonds. It was a bright, sunny afternoon when this picture was taken, but the fire was so brutally endothermic that it sucked in all available daylight. It was so hot that it shattered many of the large surrounding boulders. We considered roasting marshmallows, but this fire would have instantly turned them into anti-marshmallows, creating the chain reaction that unmakes the world. 

Bibimbap

This has been on my wishlist for weeks. It's spelled lots of ways, but I prefer the doo-wop rhythmic spelling. If you are unfamiliar with Korean food, Bibimbap is the meal that initiates the scaredycats, like Pad Thai or California Rolls or the McGriddle.

Bibimbap is usually a seething cauldron filled with wonders... rice and unspecified exotic vegetables topped with delicious beef and an egg guaranteed to evaporate the roof of your mouth permanently. This was takeout, so it was basically just the floor model served in a crummy plastic tray, but often it will be served with 10 or 20 mysterious colorful bowls that you can snap-in for additional dimensions of pleasure and fermentation.

Pumpkin Reese's

I have yet to taste a mass market pumpkin snack that contains any active pumpkin cultures or any trace of real ass pumpkin. So far in my personal (and OFFICIAL) pumpkin snack shootout, Snickers wins for shape and Reese's wins for flavor, but if you want to get on some Leatherface shit, there's really only one choice.

Yuengling Oktoberfest

UFO Pumpkin Ale

Hacker pchsorr Oktoberfest

Long trail Pumpkin Ale

Stewart's Pumpkin Pie Ice Cream

Yeah that's a lot of October all at once, but at least I'm finally getting some TRVE PVMPKIN energy in the body.

If you aren't from where I am from, you probably think it's cute and sad how we don't have 7-11, but nothing beats the raw power you feel when a Stewart's employee has to drop whatever they are doing to hand-scoop you some top notch hardpack. Stewart's Pumpkin Pie ice cream is the best Pumpkin anything I have ever had. 

Pumpkin Pumpkin Pumpkin cialis pumpkin local single pumpkins in your area pumpkin trending #pumpkin.

Nut Russian

Frozen banana