There's a unique hell to be experienced if you're someone who's any type of self aware of your paranoia and/or delusions and you try your best to not 'freak out' over them ever due to masking or just wanting to maintain some sort of self-control so people aren't cruel to you... because now people will not take your issues with paranoia/delusions seriously and not believe you even have them.
Family, friends, therapists, other professionals, ANYONE you may try and talk to about your issues with will dismiss your concerns with the bullshit 'oh, but you seem to be aware, so it doesn't look like it's really a problem then', because most of these people think the only way to experience paranoia/delusions is when paired with hallucinations and breakdowns. Society punishes people who act out - you're called crazy and outcasted and people want you locked up in a psyche ward - but when you try your best to behave 'normally', people just act like you're being dramatic and/or you'll get over it easily, or they're just straight up invalidate you and say you aren't experiencing anything.
Like... no, they're affecting my life, and very badly! Just because I'm not overtly breaking down in front of people every time they flare up and get really bad for me doesn't mean it's not ruining my life and sanity and relationships!! Do I really need to throw myself on the floor and start screaming when it gets bad for me again so someone will finally believe my struggle? You really can't ever win when it comes to mental illness and it's so damn depressing and infuriating.
