#psresolutions

This time I will

succeed, and

I will

achieve.  

I will

conquer

what I want to

accomplish;

because I’m done

being sad and

sorry for

myself. 

If I want something

great

In my life

I have to

get it,

and I will

get it

without any

pity handouts.

I’m done having

toxic people

in my life,

and I’m done

feeling limited to what

I can say, and

do.

I’m done being

pushed around.

I’m done being

slammed

against a wall.

I’m done hearing

everyone’s lies.

Watch out

because

this time

I’m not here to

screw around.

This time

Here are 3 things I love to do that also can make others glad   1/16

In the argentum moon’s river flow and in the twinkling stars’ glow

In the haunting melody of a song and among your lovely words

When I see your kindness and gentle soul

Then I know true beauty exists in this desolate, broken world

It gives me hope to find flowers still grow among thorns

 e.v.e.

It’s funny but I just realized it’s not the promise and excitement a New Year holds but the promise and excitement that the hope in the future brings us, whatever measure of time that is, an hour, a day, a month or a year, that makes us see  the world through different eyes. New Year’s resolutions, yes, we’ve all been there and done that. Hat off to you that get to the end of the year and actually see them through. Yes, this will finally be the year I get into shape, the year I get a better job or a new raise, the year I finally travel the globe.  Finally, this year we will do all our heart wishes for but that we have put off from doing until fate smiled a little sweeter at us. We wait and hope. Always. Truth is as human beings we are always hoping. We are always hoping that the future will bring better and brighter things;that we will finally get to make our wishes and dreams come true. We wait sometimes too much, I fear, and by the time we realize it so much life has passed us by. It is easy to get trapped in routine. Bills must be paid, basic needs must be meet, other’s needs put before our own and so time passes and passes and we have done nowhere near what in our childhood we saw as our destined dream. Some would argue that growing up is just that, giving up your childish hopes and dreams. Truth be, as we grow up these dreams become a little less grand. We no longer dream of being an astronaut or a famous movie star. We settle for dreams we believe are a little more achievable and not so fantastical. I have been guilty of just that so I am not pointing fingers! It’s so easy to see all the problems and the impossibilities so we settle and in doing so I think we lose a little of the magic with which we see life, when we believe anything is possible. But we need to have hopes and dreams because no human being can live without them. Even if we seize the day and all the joy to be found in the now it is the promise of tomorrow that leads us on. That there will be a tomorrow, a new dawn, a new opportunity to start again, to correct our mistakes, to find love again.

 For my dear friends @poeticstories   Your psresolutions project for this month made me reflect a lot on so many important things. Thank you!

I wish I could be there at night to ruffle your hair and give you a goodnight kiss on the forehead as I tuck you in bed. I wish I could be there when you cry  to tell you to let it all out as I hold you and tell you it will be all better tomorrow. I wish we could sit at the kitchen table when you come home from work and drink cold milk and eat the warm chocolate chip cookies I had baked fresh for you as you tell me about your day. How is your course work going? How was work ? Did you have fun with your friends? Did you catch a glimpse of that girl who holds your heart today? I wish we could watch movies sprawled on the carpet during weekends and joke around and make you laugh as I make funny faces that crack you up; discuss the latest trends in music and fangirl on movies we both like. I wish I could give you advice on life and love and share with you all I have learned so I could save you heartbreak. I wish I could ease your burdens and take away your pain.

I know your real parents don't treat you with dignity or respect and that makes me so sad because no one deserves to feel the way you do. I know you wish to escape from the prison you live in and that you feel suffocated, misunderstood and lost most of the time. I wish I could be there to try and talk some sense into your real parents. Tell them how much they need to change and listen to you and try to understand you  instead of condemning and judging you before they end up losing you. I wish I could repair all the damage done and erase all your scars.

I couldn't love you more if you had been born from my body. Maybe I love you more because you were born from my heart. I am just so grateful fate sent me to you in your time of need so I could help you, nurture you, encourage you and watch you grow. Such strong bonds we have made out of mutual love and respect. You are a constant source of joy and light in my life. You make me laugh all the time and care about the condition of my heart as if it were your own. I see how much you want to grow each day and see you take the steps toward that goal every day. I see your progress in your writing daily as you put your thoughts and feelings on paper and I can so easily envision the magnificent writer you will become. You work so hard to be able to pay for your studies and work hard to get good grades. I am so proud of you sometimes I feel my heart will burst . You are such a special young man. I am so privileged to see you grow and just to think of the man you will become fills my heart with happy tears. I will always tend to your scraped knees, wipe away your tears and help you move forward and never give up. Yes, your mom is so proud and grateful to have such a wonderful young man for her son. I  love you with the infinite love of a mother. You make me proud everyday.

Sincerely,

Your  Tumblr mom 

For my dearest son  @freedom-before-its-too-late