#pscu

My human is a bit of an asshole. I love him anyway. 

Sometimes I forget why I actually hate him - maybe it’s because all humans are assholes, and then I met him, this crazy guy who just picked me up off the streets and stole me to his own home.

It’s nice here though. I can lie outside the room to toast my belly in the sun, my human always throws food at me if I just yell at him, and there’s even yummy fish to snack on. 

My human disappears for days at a time sometimes. I wonder where he goes during the day. What do humans with fluffy heads and smooth skin do all day?

My human has brought another human home. He doesn’t always do that. Once or twice he’ll bring other humans home, people who cover more of their skin with fabric unlike my stupid human. I think they’re family - they have the same fluffy hair and brown skin.

This new guy though - he has big paws that are the colour of milk, and floppy hair. He’s nice to me.

My human makes angry noises when I’m being nice back to his new human, which is funny, so I just do it more. Floppy Head has soft paws and he gives nice back scratches.

Floppy Head’s face leaks. Why do humans do that? Is he okay? 

My man Fluffy Head pets Floppy Head, and Floppy Head makes happy noises again. 

My human always makes angry noises at me. Floppy Head speaks slightly differently though, human noises that are not familiar to me, but he sounds like he’s saying nice things. I meow nice things back at him.

Floppy Head keeps coming back after going outside for the day. Maybe my human has stolen more fledglings from the street and took them home again. I guess this makes Floppy Head my buddy. Floppy Head looks happy to be here, and I like him being here too - I don’t even need to yell to get food. Floppy Head loves feeding me, and he likes digging into soil with his paws. (I don’t understand it, but it’s fun.)

Floppy Head gets to sleep with my human, which is - fine, I didn’t want to snuggle with that asshole anyway, but I’m glad he found a human to keep. 

Then one day my human doesn’t come back with his human. I claw and bite at him because I miss his human. Stupid asshole can’t even keep his human! At least he looks like he misses his human too. Sometimes his face is leaky. Is that what humans do when they’re sad?

It’s been so long of just me and my human alone in his home. He disappeared for days at a time, and then he came home walking all weird. He always jumps awake in his sleep. It almost makes me wanna sleep next to him, so he has someone to accompany him. But he’s a stupid asshole, so I won’t.

One day Floppy Head finally comes back, by himself, without my human. I didn’t recognise him at first - but I remembered how nice he is, and he doesn’t shout at me even when I claw and bite. He’s learning to make human noises like Fluffy Head - not that I understand a word of what he’s saying anyway. Humans are weird.

Fluffy Head is better at keeping his human this time - Floppy Head came back home, and doesn’t leave anymore. They’re always petting each other, touching noses, and staying in bed forever together.