#psalm2710

“Even thought thy Mother and Father have forsaken me, the Lord shall lift me up.” Psalm 27:10

     Growing up, my biological Father was in and out of my life. He would always put himself before me. Of course, being young, I never realized that he was doing that. He would always make false promises saying he was going to come see me but then when the time came, call to say plans changed. I remember crying to my mother and asking her, “Why doesn’t Daddy love me enough to come see me?” Of course, my mother would be honest and tell me that she doesn’t know why. As I got older and realized how manipulative and disrespectful he was to me, I cut off communication with him. Even during that time, I would ask the Lord and even cry to Him, “Why doesn’t my Father love me? What did I do to make him not love me? Is it my medical issue?” When I was 23, I decided to give him another chance. Let me tell you, BIG mistake! Again, he made false promises and continued to lie to me. He promised me he would send me a gift for Christmas, that he would send by a certain date and time. When the time came, of course, nothing came. I asked him why and he tried to tell me that he said a different date. I was fed up and went off. My husband, Derek, was furious and even then wanted to tell him off! After that, I completely stopped all forms of communication with him. I was done! 

     I realized after that, my Father has been with me my whole life and He never left. My Father, Jesus Christ, has always been there for me. He was there when I was born. He was there when I was diagnosed with kidney failure. He was there when I graduated High School, got accepted into College, became a CNA, and everything I did in life and went through. He is NOTHING like my Earthly Father. He is NOT manipulative, a liar, disrespectful, or deceitful. He is loving, caring, respectful, giving, kind, and just an all around wonderful and amazing man! So amazing that, despite my transgressions, he gave me a home, car, my husband, family, coworkers that I am proud to call my friends, all my other friends, an education, food, clothes, water, and so much more! Everything that my Earthly Father could NEVER think to provide for me. He even took me away from a horrible situation I was in when I was 13 by going through my Aunt Lori, who sacrificed a lot to give me a better home and life. By His Grace, he even provides me with my treatments, which had I not have those, I wouldn’t be here today. When times get rough and I want to end it all by medical issue, He continues to show me that my life is worth living and it will always get better! Despite what I go through, good or bad, He is always there for me and always will be!

     As for my Earthly Father, the Lord has told me, “Don’t worry about him, baby. I will have a talk with him once he passes away. I know he doesn’t believe in Me and he even spits blasphemies that you have hear him say about Me when you were growing up. Trust me, He is going to regret everything he ever said or did to you. I heard conversations you do not even know about, that he said about you. You did not need that kind of negativity in your life. That’s why I opened your eyes so you can see how he really is and how he really acts. You are better and so much more than him. You are my baby and I will protect you. Nobody is going to bad talk you or hurt you and get away with it. Always keep your focus on me. Talk to me often. I love it when you do! I love you!”