Mar 29, 2025
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The Union of Software Developers
Alright, alright, settle down everyone! So, the software developers are trying to unionize, right? But first, they're stuck in this endless meeting.
"Okay, so for our official documents, are we going with Python?"
"Python? Are you kidding? It's dynamically typed! We need the rigor of Java!"
"Java? That's so verbose! We should use Rust, for its memory safety!"
"Rust? What about the learning curve? Let's keep it simple with JavaScript!"
"JavaScript? That's... well, JavaScript. We need something functional, like Haskell!"
"Haskell? You want to write a union contract in a purely functional language? Good luck with that! How about C++?"
"C++? Are you trying to make this negotiation take longer?"
A lone voice from the back: "Anyone considered... COBOL?"
The room erupts in chaos.
"Okay, okay, how about we just write it in pseudocode?"
Another voice: "But... which pseudocode standard?"
The Comedy of Errors : Developers edition
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Friend: "Can you hack into a bank?" Me: Sweating profusely while trying to vertically align text in a div 😭
let's be honest here, anyone who claims to be "passionate" about Jira, Confluence, and the entire Atlassian suite... well, they're clearly unhinged. they probably enjoy filling out TPS reports too
Question: Why doesn't Hollywood make more Big Data movies? Answer: NoSQL.