#professor steve

By the third week of the semester, Steve became more smitten with (Y/N) than he had believed possible. While in the past he had actively avoided the departmental lunches in favor of staying in his office and working, knowing that (Y/N) would be there enticed him to attend, despite the comments and looks he received from James about it. Steve found that he could join her for lunch the other two days a week as well, and was thankful that it was just the two of them together in the office. He learned more and more about (Y/N) during each lunch, such as how she loved ketchup but hated tomatoes and couldn’t listen to classical music while working because she got too involved listening to the specific instruments to focus on her tasks. No matter how hungry Steve was, he could talk to (Y/N) for hours and often forgot to eat his lunch, leaving him hastily shoving it into his mouth as he ran off to one of his classes.

Steve was thankful that the third week also brought less students into the office, as they had already done their necessary introductions with (Y/N) during the first two weeks. While in the past he would have taken the quiet to work, he found himself wanting to talk to (Y/N) instead. While they chatted about different things about their lives outside of work, they also talked about various challenges of their jobs. Steve got advice on how to incorporate popular culture into his lectures to make them more appealing to students.

On one afternoon, Steve worked up the nerve to ask (Y/N) how to use Tumblr. Steve told (Y/N) about the year he had spent studying love letters sent during WWII and was curious if he could find fanfictions on Tumblr to relate to them, just as (Y/N) had done with the Egyptian love poems. She helped him set up a username (he chose SteveRogers_UniversityProfessor so he wouldn’t forget it) and then began to search for stories. Steve watched as she pulled up fanfictions about a star-spangled superhero who was incredibly popular with the ladies. Seeing (Y/N) blush at the explicit content appearing on his screen made Steve wonder what sorts of NSFW activities she was in to. He deemed it necessary to continue reading it, even at her requests to exit the page to “get the full experience.” Seeing her embarrassment and how easily she navigated the site, Steve also began to wonder if (Y/N) may have written some of the content herself.

Steve picked up the phone and, to (Y/N)’s chagrin, called James and told him to come into his office. When James came into the room, the three of them huddled behind the computer screen. Steve gently moved the keyboard from under (Y/N)’s fingers and typed in the username that (Y/N) had referenced in her presentation. He quickly found stories of an American turned Russian super-soldier, which James found immensely interesting.

“Steve, click that one, Guys My Age,” James requested.

Steve obliged and opened the story, “Which Part?”

“Part one!” James excitedly replied.

Steve clicked Part One, “Warnings are lap dance and angst.”

“I thought you said these were juicy!” Bucky scoffed, “This just sounds like a typical Saturday night.”

Steve rolled his eyes and clicked on the link to the next part.

“Smut and NSFW gifs? Now we’re talking,” Bucky said, leaning closer to the screen.

“‘Fuck me. Now. You can apologize later.’ This is kinda kinky, (Y/N),” Bucky said, giving her a look.

“‘His hands were roaming everywhere and you couldn’t get enough of the contrast between temperatures,’” Steve read.

“‘Please...please touch me I n-ned to feel you inside me!’” James read, pawing at Steve’s shoulder.

(Y/N) awkwardly cleared her throat from behind the two men, who both began to giggle.

“If you’ll both excuse me, I think I need to go make my own Tumblr account for...research purposes,” James said, as he began to leave the office.

“Don’t forget you share an office with someone, James,” Y/N replied.

“That didn’t stop you two,” James winked as he left the room.

By Friday Steve had been looking forward to going home and searching through Tumblr to see if he could find an account for (Y/N). She was packing up her things to go home when Tony stopped by the office.

“Ah, perfect! (Y/N) and Steve, you’re both still here! Unfortunately, I have an important engagement tonight, Pepper is getting awarded an Excellence in Leadership award, and I of course will be there, so we need faculty to be here for the lecture tonight. Everyone else seems to have gone home already, so it looks like you two are the ones for the job!”

Steve cleared his throat in annoyance, getting ready to snap back, which Tony quickly realized.

“No issues with that I hope?” Tony rhetorically asked, giving (Y/N) a poignet look, “Great, thanks a bunch! (Y/N), the welcome is in your email inbox ready to go!” Tony finger-gunned them both as he left the office smiling.

Steve heard (Y/N) grumbling as she unpacked her bag and sat back down at her desk.

“So typical of Tony,” Steve growled.

“What do you mean, typical?” She asked.

“He is notorious for last minute assignments when he knows people have better things to do. He did it to you your first week by assigning you that lecture and he did it to me with the introduction.” While Steve loved the freedom he had to research by being just a professor, he often regretted not taking the director position because it would have meant that he could be the one bossing Tony around.

Steve heard (Y/N) mutter something to herself, “What was that?” he asked looking (Y/N) straight in the eyes.

“Nothing, just annoyed I have to stay.”

“Why? Big plans this weekend?” Steve’s heart began to race.

“Huge plans. I had a big date,” she replied, to which Steve’s heart sank and he couldn’t help a tense frown appearing on his face, “with my couch, my tv, a pint of ice cream, and a bottle of wine,” she finished.

Steve took a deep sigh of relief and his face relaxed, “That sounds very similar to my weekend, minus the tv and the ice cream.”

“You have a couch?” she teased him, “I imagined you felt most comfortable on a bed of nails.”

Steve was aware of the office jokes about his home, but it stung a bit coming from (Y/N), “Gotta sleep sharp to keep sharp,” he joked back, trying to cover it up.

After sitting in silence a few minutes, Steve felt the need to defend himself further.

“You know my apartment really isn’t full of dangerous furniture, right?” he asked hesitantly, a blush creeping into his cheeks.

“I can’t make any official judgements until I have experience.”

“Well, perhaps I will return the invitation to a dinner in my home,” Steve’s heart was racing.

“I would like that,” she said, quickly adding, “I mean, it would be nice to have a get together of everyone.”

Steve couldn’t tell why she had added the bit about everyone coming over, and simply answered, “Quite.”

They returned to working in silence until (Y/N)’s phone alarm went off to go downstairs to the lecture. They both packed up their things and went down together. Steve placed his things on a seat in the back of the room.

“I should probably sit in the front, since I have to do Tony’s welcome,” (Y/N) said.

Perhaps too eagerly, Steve replied, “I’ll join you,” before picking up his things and walking with her to the front of the lecture hall.

Steve settled into a seat near the podium, next to the one (Y/N) had placed her bag on. After she had finished the welcome, she moved her bag to the floor and sat next to him. Steve couldn’t focus on the lecture, as he thought about the woman sitting next to him instead. 10 minutes into the lecture, Steve noticed (Y/N)’s leg restlessly bouncing up and down. He waited a few seconds, working up his nerve, and then nudged her.

“Worried you’ll be late for your date?” he whispered in her ear.

“Ha. Ha.” she whispered back.

He took a deep breath, and decided to ask, “Wanna get drinks after this?”

“Honestly, we should’ve gotten drinks before,” she replied.

Steve couldn’t help but snort a laugh in agreement.

With drinks to look forward to at the end of the lecture, the event seemed to take even longer than usual. Once or twice, when (Y/N) shifted in her seat, she would accidentally elbow Steve. Although he knew it was an accident due to how close the seats were to each other, he couldn’t help the flutter of his heart each time it happened. Steve began to daydream about the night ahead; getting drinks with (Y/N), maybe going to his or her apartment after for more conversation, leaving before things got too heated...if they even got a little heated at all. Steve snapped back to reality when he felt the seat next to him move as (Y/N) got up to thank everyone for attending.

“Ready?” Steve asked as she came back to her seat and hurriedly picked up her bag.

“Never been more so,” she replied.

“Let’s go then, there’s a good bar a few blocks north. I’ll lead the way.”

Steve resisted the urge to take her hand, and walked out of the auditorium. The walk to the bar was spent discussing how boring the lecture had been. As they entered the bar, they found it noisy and dimly lit. Steve led the way to the only open table in the back of the bar, where there was at least a little reprieve from the sounds of the full bar. (Y/N) sat down, and Steve leaned down to speak into her ear, which gave him a slight flutter in his stomach.

“It’s loud in here, is this ok?” he asked.

“It’s fine!”

“Alright,” he felt relieved, “I’ll get us some drinks. Any requests?”

“Something full of alcohol.”

Steve nodded a reply, and as he turned to the bar he couldn’t help but smile at her response. Despite the bar being full, Steve was able to slide in and have the bartender come right to him.

“Hiya Steve,” the bartender said, pulling out a glass from under the bar, “The usual?”

“Hey Stan,” Steve replied, “two of the usuals this time.”

“Two?” Stan asked. Steve moved slightly so the bartender could look around him and see (Y/N) at the table. “Good for you!” he exclaimed, getting out another glass and filling them both with ice and bourbon.

“Thanks Stan,” Steve said as he slid cash across the bar.

“Have fun tonight,” Stan winked at him.

Steve walked back to the table and handed (Y/N) one of the glasses, taking a drink as he sat down in the chair next to her, “Bourbon on the rocks.”

She took her drink and coughed, and Steve couldn’t help but laugh as he patted her on the back.

“I haven’t had much time to drink lately, so it’s a bit strong!”

“Yeah, sure,” Steve continued to chuckle, he couldn’t help but feel even more attracted to her.

They spent two hours talking about anything and everything, from restaurants in the neighborhood to places they wanted to visit in the city, career goals, and hopes for the future. To Steve, the loudness of the bar disappeared as he focused on (Y/N)’s voice, although after 3 drinks his focus wasn’t as great as he wished.

“So, Steve, are you seeing anyone?” (Y/N) asked.

Steve felt a lump form in his throat, “No, not recently.”

“Oh...that’s interesting.”

Steve noticed a blush spread in her cheeks and he couldn’t help but smile, “I suppose so. Another round?”

“Why not!”

Steve returned to the bar for another round.

“Looks like it’s going well over there,” Stan grinned at Steve.

“I actually think it is,” Steve grinned back. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so happy. “I really like her, Stan.”

“I think the feeling may be mutual,” Stan said, nodding in (Y/N)’s direction.

Steve turned to see her anxiously combing her fingers through her hair and smoothing it down.

“This round is on me,” Stan said, sliding two more drinks across the bar, “Go get her!”

Steve thanked Stan and went back to (Y/N).

“Here you are, Doctor,” he said as he handed her her drink. His eyes wandered to her chest, and he could have sworn her breasts had somehow gotten larger, he quickly looked back up to her face as he sat down.

Steve nervously cleared his throat, dreading the possible answer to the question he was about to ask, but knowing he needed an answer, “Are you seeing anyone?” He took a long drink from his glass as he waited for her answer.

“I am not,” she replied, to which Steve let out a sigh of relief, “I was told in school that I needed to choose between my own academic success or a personal life, and I wouldn’t be here now if I had chosen a personal life.”

Steve didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the encouragement from Stan that made him ask, “Would you be terribly offended if I kissed you?”

“Not in the least,” (Y/N) replied, moving herself closer to him.

Steve set his drink down and moved his hand behind her head, pulling her into him. The moment their lips met, Steve felt a shiver run down his spine and his heart began to pump faster. She moved her hands up to his face and kept her mouth against his. Steve didn’t want to admit how strong his feelings for (Y/N) were before, but after such a passionate kiss, he had to. (Y/N) eventually pulled away, breathing heavily.

“Wow,” she breathed.

“Yeah,” was all Steve managed to gasp out. He took a moment, cleared his throat, and said, “I’m glad you chose academics over a personal life so you’d end up here.”

“Me too.”

“So, who do I owe thanks to for the sage advice?” he asked, still caught up in the moment.

Steve noticed (Y/N) become very hesitant before she answered, “It was actually my advisor, Sharon.”

Steve couldn’t help himself, the alcohol had lowered his ability to keep his emotions in check, although he wasn’t that great at it sober, “That bitch?” he instantly cursed under his breath.

“Steve, what happened between you and Sharon?” Steve could see how tentative (Y/N) was, but he was too blinded by a drunken rage to hold back.

“What didn’t happen? She stole my mentor, she stole my scholarship, broke my heart, stole a grant from me...I finally beat her when I got the position here.” Steve spat out the abridged version of his relationship with Sharon.

“Wait, backtrack a second, she broke your heart?”(Y/N)’s face fell, but Steve didn’t notice.

“We were in our first year of undergrad and I saw her and I developed a crush on her. She always acted like she wanted me back, but she just used me for my notes and my brain and then she took every opportunity I applied for, which she only knew about because my dumb ass would tell her that I was applying for things. I’m sure she fucking plagiarized my applications because she always wanted drafts to look at for examples. I followed her along, having never experienced such an attraction and she quickly lost interest in me as she grew more and more successful, although I’m sure the interest was fake on her side to begin with. Fuck her. I’m surprised you were able to turn out so well with her lying ass advising you. Or maybe you’re just a fake too,” Steve couldn’t keep himself from lashing out, his anger blinding him from any tact. While he had no reason not to trust or believe in (Y/N), his hatred of Sharon was clouding his judgement of her and he was not sober enough to realize it.

“Steve, I think you should go home.”

“Oh, should I? Is that your professional opinion, Doctor?” Steve spat, his rage blinding him from seeing that (Y/N) was on the verge of tears.

“What the actual fuck?”

“Maybe you are a fucking fake. Great, now you can fucking break my heart too,” Steve snarled, getting up and stumbling his way to the door. He pulled out his phone to try to call a ride home, but his eyes struggled to focus due to the alcohol and rage.

“Steve, let me help you,” he heard (Y/N) say from behind him.

“Fuck off, (Y/N),” he yelled, as the car he ordered arrived, “Clear off the bookshelf for Monday, I have a new shipment of books coming in and I need the space.”

Steve got into the car and left (Y/N) on the corner without another word. His eyes began to burn as tears streamed out of them. The further he got from the bar, the louder the little voice in the back of his head telling him he had just made a terrible mistake became. He stumbled out of the car and fumbled with his keys, finally getting into his apartment and collapsing on his bed, shaking with tears of anger towards Sharon and disappointment towards himself. He grabbed his phone and called James, but got no answer.

Suddenly feeling the urge to vomit, Steve crawled his way to the bathroom and arranged himself near the toilet. He lost track of how many times he had thrown up before he passed out.

Steve awoke in the morning to James gently shaking his shoulder and asking him to wake up.

“Buck?” Steve asked groggily, a vile taste in his mouth. As he opened his eyes, he found himself facedown on the floor of his bathroom. “What the fuck happened?” he asked as he hoisted himself into a sitting position with the help of his friend.

“That’s what I’d like to know,” James answered. “I woke up this morning to a call from you, and when I tried to call back I got no answer. I waited at the brunch place for 20 minutes and then came straight here, figuring something was wrong.”

Steve tried to remember what had happened the night before, but everything seemed foggy, “I’m sorry, man. I just can’t think straight right now.”

“Well, let’s get you showered and changed and maybe you’ll remember more later,” James said gently, helping a wobbly Steve stand up. “Can you do this by yourself though, because I really don’t want to sponge bath you.”

“Yeah, I got it,” Steve chuckled weakly.

James left Steve in the bathroom to shower, checking in every minute to make sure he was still upright and ok. Steve finished the shower and found clothes waiting that James had set out for him. He got dressed and went to the living room, where he flopped down on the couch.

“Remember anything else, buddy?” James asked gently.

Steve furrowed his brow as he tried to remember, “I went to the damn lecture because Tony said I had to. (Y/N) was there,” he paused for a moment, “And we went out for drinks afterwards I think?”

“Ok, this is a good start,” James encouraged him.

“Fuck, my head is pounding. Can I take a quick nap and maybe I’ll know more when I wake up?”

“Sure, Steve, get some rest,” James grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and covered Steve with it.

Steve was asleep in seconds, and James quickly grabbed his phone and texted (Y/N). When she didn’t answer he began to text more frantically. When she still didn’t respond, he started to call.

Steve’s began to wake up when he heard James on the phone with someone.

“And I found him slumped over the toilet, passed out and covered in his own vomit. I finally got him in the shower and cleaned up, and now he’s sleeping on the couch. So, what the fuck did you do to him?” he heard James asking.

Steve’s face began to burn when James said, “And I don’t suppose you know why he was cursing out Sharon under his breath.”

There was a pause before James replied, “I gathered as much with Sharon, but if he hates you, why was he also going on about some kiss?”

Steve shuddered as he began to piece the night together. He had been out with (Y/N) after the lecture and everything was going so well and that had been one hell of a kiss. The whole night was perfect until Sharon ruined it. She wasn’t even physically there and she still had the power to ruin his life.

“(Y/N), it’s ok, I’m sure he’ll get over it,” he heard James saying.

Just hearing her name made Steve feel sick. He felt terrible for what he had said last night, although he couldn’t remember exactly what it was.

“Look, (Y/N), I’ll talk to him when he gets up. He’s my best friend and I know a lot about him. I know he thinks too highly of you to keep a grudge,” James said before a pause as he listened to (Y/N)’s response, “Heck yeah, Just, maybe don’t bring up that She-Devil again?” James laughed.

Steve squirmed on the couch as he began mentally beating himself up for how he had reacted, which James saw. Steve tried to hide his head under the blanket, but to no avail.

“Alright, (Y/N), I see movement on the couch. I’m gonna let you go, but don’t worry about what he said to you last night. Steve’s an asshole when he’s drunk. See you Monday,” James said before hanging up his phone and putting it in his pocket.

“Steve. You done fucked up,” James said, coming to the couch and ripping the blanket off Steve.

“Shit,” was all he could manage to say.

“You know, I was in favor of you two getting together, dating, and even with you fucking her. I was not down with you fucking her over. What the hell, man?”

“I don’t know what happened. Everything was going so well and then Sharon got brought up and I just snapped. (Y/N) is the first woman I’ve actually liked like this since Sharon,” he spat out her name, “The first woman I’ve let my guard down for. I think that’s why it happened. We were having the perfect night and the perfect kiss and then Sharon came up and I felt betrayed. Like I had let my walls down for the wrong person.”

James opened his mouth to speak, but Steve shook his head and continued.

“I know, I fucked up. It’s my fault and (Y/N) will probably never want to go out with me again. I feel terrible and I don’t know what to do.”

“You could apologize?”

“I don’t think that is even enough to fix this mess. Maybe I’ll just give her some space?”

“Space could work. I still think an apology is the best route though.”

The two men sat on the couch, each lost in thought. The silence was broken by the rumbling of James’s stomach.

“Ok, I need to eat. Are you still down to brunch or are you too hungover?”

Steve tried to sit up, but felt churning in his stomach, “I think I need to sit this one out,” he said, laying back down.

“Alright, we’ll I’m outta here then. I’ll give you some time to think and see you Monday. Please don’t fuck this up even more,” James said, getting up and leaving.

Steve spent the rest of the weekend trying to think of ways to apologize to (Y/N). He wrote and typed multiple apology letters, but none seemed to truly capture how sorry he was. He arrived to campus on Monday and decided that avoidance was the best option. He took a page from (Y/N)’s book and decided to set up a temporary office in the library.

Steve realized he needed a specific book from his office, and checked his watch. He had a few minutes before she would be back from her class to go get it. He hurried to the office, unlocked the door, grabbed the book, and quickly got out and relocked. He realized too late he had forgotten to turn off the light, as he heard someone coming.

Too embarrassed to face (Y/N), Steve spent the rest of the week working from the library. He went to the small coffee shop across the street to eat his lunches, as he didn’t want to risk an interaction in the staff lounge. He rode his motorcycle to work every day, even through the rain on Thursday, as he couldn’t bring himself to chance meeting (Y/N) on the bus again.

After a successful week of avoidance and intel from James that she had been eating in the office, Steve risked a lunch in the staff lounge on Friday. He walked in and joined James on the couch, nervously taking his sandwich from the container.

“You’re sure she won’t be here?” Steve asked quietly.

“Dude, you seriously need to calm down,” James replied with a deep sigh, “If you had just done what I suggested and apologized, there would be no need for this.”

“I tried. I just can’t find the words to fully encompass how sorry I am.”

“How about, I’m sorry?” James asked.

The two ate their lunches, with James making casual conversation and Steve on edge that (Y/N) would show up. Steve had almost finished his meal when he heard someone walk into the room and looked up. Upon seeing it was (Y/N), his heart raced and his face turned bright red. Despite the fact that their conversation had been about the best flavor of pudding to pair with whipped cream, the men immediately stopped talking.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” James said, patting the seat next to him for her to come join.

Steve could see the hesitation she displayed upon actually taking the seat next to James. She opened her lunch box without looking at him, which made his heart sink.

“So, how’s your week been?” James asked her.

Steve immediately stared into his cup of coffee as he saw (Y/N)’s head lift to look at James.

“It’s been quiet…” she replied.

Steve looked up at her, trying to tell if she meant a good quiet or a bad quiet, but she was intently looking down at her lunch.

“Steve was telling me he’s had a lot of meetings this week,” James said, nudging Steve with his elbow, “This is really the first I’m seeing of you too, buddy.”

“And it’s all you get,” Steve grumbled, grabbing his bag and quickly walking out. He appreciated James’s help, but couldn’t stand how nonchalant he was acting about everything, he just needed to get out of that room before he broke down.

Steve went back to the library and just as he was sitting down, he was joined by James.

“Steve, that was the perfect opportunity for you to make things go back to normal. Why’d you walk away?”

“Because, James, I like her too much. Look at her, she couldn’t even make eye contact with me. I fucked that relationship up too badly. She’d never try again with me, so why even bother to talk to her?”

“That’s not the answer, Steve. Plus, how do you know she wouldn’t try again with you?”

“Because of this,” Steve spat out, showing his phone to James.

The phone was open to a text from Loki which read:

I’m taking out (Y/N) this weekend. Better luck next time sucker

CHAPTER NINE

STEVE’S CHAPTER NINE

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