Problematic Relationships (Non-Platonic) Competition List — Canonical
TWs: The Holocaust, genocide, Nazis, pedophilia, incest, grooming, sexual assault, rape, child sexual assault, sexual slavery, confinement, torture, abuse, physical assault, pregnancy, gang rape mention, starvation, miscarriage, slavery, abusive marriage, stalking, suicide, date rape drug mention, trauma, human trafficking, cancer diagnosis mention, gaslighting, financial abuse, and much, much, more.
Update: I will only comment upon the Top-Tier/Heavyweight relationships (just ten of them), and some exceptions outside of that.
Doing it for every relationship made the list WAY too long. I had to cut stuff out to reduce the length of this post.
• I'm going to compare problematic relationships with one another and rate them from least to most problematic.
This list will focus on the ways that the couples have wronged each other — dysfunctionally or abuse-wise — whilst together (sexually or romantically) in an unequal, official/long-term or long-enough relationship; a week or two (minimum), several weeks, or months. Therefore, actions committed during a couple's enemy era won't bolster their problematic ranking if it's just your run-of-the-mill, enemy vs. enemy/hero vs. villain fare —unless their enemy–enemy relationship became abusive; e.g., the villain turned his defeated nemesis into a sex slave and mistreated them for months.
Enemies-to-lovers pairings won't be considered more problematic by default.
Proximity required, so the characters must be close at hand. Examples: workplace, neighbors, visiting each other's homes, living together, imprisoned at the abuser's place, etc.
Defining what an abusive relationship is: Let's look at Kilgrave and Jessica Jones' forced coupling! Non-consensual as it was, their time together still counted as a formal/long-term sexual relationship (only Kilgrave considered it "romantic"). The relationship was marked by an ongoing pattern of one-sided power and control over the victim, and repeated mistreatment.
FYI: This isn't me downplaying rape and murder.
Rape and murder/attempted-murder aren't always going to make a pairing more problematic than one that lacks those things. The non-SA relationships can be absolutely horrible in other ways: isolation, torture (mental and/or physical), graphic physical abuse, dehumanization, decades-long mistreatment, an inescapable relationship, slavery, lobotomization, mind-control, etc.
Murder attempted during the enemies phase of an enemies-to-lovers pairing will not count as problematic points against these pairings by itself, unless the attempted-murder took place in an abusive relationship.
Age gaps won't bolster a couple's problematic factor, unless the older party took advantage of said age difference for self-serving and/or abusive purposes.
A properly handled or good enough "grovel" scene/redemption will reduce a pairing's problematic ranking. A shoddy one will not change anything.
• At least one person in the relationship must have sexual and/or romantic feelings towards the other half. Thus, forced relationships like Jessica Jones/Kilgrave can be included here. Unrequited relationships, too. These will be pointed out.
What if the people involved weren't together (an unrequited dynamic), but the offending character kept engaging in a pattern of creepy behavior towards their crush — such as taking no for an answer, stalking them, forcing them into unwanted situations, and so on — with the intention of obtaining the person however they can, their protests be dammed? The offending person's end goal here is a serious relationship or sex, and their misbehavior is ongoing, so this unrequited dynamic can be considered a toxic relationship.
A friend-to-lovers situation counts as a relationship.
While attraction did exist between Rey and Kylo Ren, they weren't canonically in a committed relationship, nor were friends. They were strangers. However, I've included them on this list to show everyone how tame the pairing is.
• Character on Left (offending partner/Character on Right (wronged partner).
If these characters aren't in an abusive relationship, the former is the most problematic one. Not going to list down every single thing the offending partner did.
Unrequited relationships will be pointed out.
• I will be using the term "trauma bonding" instead of Stockholm syndrome.
• Redeemed offending partners get a star. ☆ But not if their redemption was handled shoddily.
• Suggestions are welcome!
Spoilers ahead!
Where do I start? From the very bottom of the Lower-Tier towards the Top-Tier.
CTRL+F a character's name to find the pairing you're looking for.
──────
Sections:
△ Top-tier/Heavyweights/Black (more problematic than the reds.)
□ Upper-Tier/Red
⇧ Medium-Tier/Orange
⇧ Lower-Tier/Yellow
Undecided (Not part of the list)
──────
Top-Tier/Heavyweights/Black
1st Place
▲ Aric von Schmidt/Hadassah Benjamin | For Such a Time by Kate Breslin | A Nazi Concentration Camp Commandant
—Dubiously-consensual relationship
—Imprisonment
—Trauma/PTSD
—Schmidt was a Nazi concentration camp commandant.
—Saved Hadassah's life, but threatened to send her back to a worse camp if he caught her deceiving him.
—Dubious-consent
—Tricked her into kissing him (this was their first kiss).
—Pressured her to marry him.
—Got angry with her when he found out she'd been hiding her true identity as a Jewish person from him.
—Arrested Hadassah and had her sent to the ghetto.
—I believe he would have gone along with the Wolkenbrand directive (annihilation of all remaining prisoners at the concentration camp), if he hadn't been pushed into action. He would have kept abiding by his sense of duty.
—Don't care if Schmidt did not abuse nor rape her, and Breslin redeemed him: this Nazi was the head of a concentration camp. Schmidt contributed to the extermination of Hadassah's people by being there. It doesn't matter if he "wasn't as bad those other Nazis," he participated in the Final Solution, and I'm going to hold that VERY much against him. Lastly, his character plays into the "Clean Wehrmacht" myth.
—You know what else really sucks about this guy? His excuses: "I must perform my duty–" Stow it, Schmidt. You're not going to "lesser evil" your way out of this one, Mr. Camp Commandant.
—Forced relationship
—Age gap exploited
—Grooming
—He was Dolores' stepfather
—Dehumanization
—Treated Dolores as an object for his pleasure.
—Obsessed
—Manipulative
—Controlling
—Possessive
—Kidnapping
—Abuse
—Rape
—Sex prisoner
—Trauma/PTSD
—Desired a future in which he could impregnate Dolores and obtain a daughter; Dolores' replacement for when she became 15 years old and he lost interest in her. Then, he would repeat the process with his granddaughter.
—Probably murdered Dolores' mother.
—Ruined Dolores' life and took away her childhood.
—Unredeemed
3rd Place
▲ Richard Payne/Elizabeth | The Dark Obsession Series by Zoe Blake | The Gaslighting King
—Possessive
—Ruined the lives of people who touched "his property".
—Lizzie ended things between in the prequel over Richard's control freak nature; he wanted her to no longer need a mobile phone, school, friends, or a job. Just him. For her life to revolve completely around him. Unfortunately, "no" isn't a word in the duke's vocabulary.
—Stalking
—Kidnapping
—Rape
—Dehumanization (treats Lizzie as a possession.)
—Started treating her like his sex slave because she had "failed at being treated like a girlfriend."
—Sex prisoner
—Forced relationship
—Abuse
—Richard will never stop playing mind games with her. Easing his boredom is what matters most to him.
—Trauma bonding
—Used EXPERIMENTAL, memory-erasing pills to make Lizzie forget their initial relationship AND continued feeding her these pills. As a result, her memories are unreliable – making her more prone to gaslighting.
—Obsessed (both of them, but Lizzie's obsession is self-destructive.)
—"When she auditioned for the play I specifically produced to ensnare her, she had no idea she was really auditioning for me. For her new lifetime role as my ward, my possession."
—Controlling
—Richard is a fan of the 1800s. You see, women back then didn't have rights. They couldn't simply leave their husbands; "It was a time where a woman knew her place and accepted a man’s rightful dominance over her. That was what I found the most appealing. The vulnerability and dependence of a woman on a man’s benevolence. In the Victorian era, a woman was still regarded as a beautiful possession, to be petted and spoiled but also kept docile with a firm hand."
—MANIPULATIVE (this guy makes Slade [Teen Titans (2003)] look like an amateur.)
—"It was a false assumption that only those of low intelligence could be manipulated. Everyone assumed that a person of intelligence would think through the issue and see right through the lie, but that wasn’t the case. An intelligent person was far more likely to overthink, turning it over and over in their head, and second guess the issue, thereby falling into the hands of the manipulator."
—Gaslit Lizzie into thinking she was "actually" a crazy woman from the Victorian era. Then, in the third book, Richard staged his own shooting and took a bullet as part of a scheme to gaslight her some more. There are never any half-measures with this guy and his messed up mind games.
—Made his victim think SHE was the cruel puppet master.
—Trapped
—The man is a filthy, stinking rich, billionaire duke (a modern one!). Lizzie could not get away from him even if she hadn't been hopelessly brainwashed into believing that she "wants" the abuse.
—He paid a bunch of actors 1 million pounds (for a year of performance) to participate in his abuse towards Lizzie without them realizing it.
—Torture (e.g., waterboarding.)
—Dubiously-consensual relationship
—Isolation (kept her away from friends, and worst of all, this couple's story ended with him putting her on a remote island.)
—Unredeemed (Richard won.)
[Continued under the cut!]
4th Place
▲ Kilgrave/Jessica Jones | Jessica Jones | The MCU's Nightmare Fuel Villain
—Forced relationship
—Kidnapping
—CONTROLLING
—Slavery: Kilgrave mind-controlled Jessica with his super power.
—"Jesus, you're a vision. Hair and the skin… appalling sense of fashion, but that can be remedied."
—Abuse
—Dehumanization
—Sex prisoner
—Rape
—Torture
—Forced her to kill someone and blamed her for it.
—Trauma/PTSD
—Entitled
—Ordered Jessica to cut off her ears with a knife, but stopped her as she started slicing at one of them. She would have followed through with his command if he hadn't changed his mind, regardless of the pain.
—Obsessed
—Stalking
—Possessive
—Kilgrave denied that he was a rapist.
—"Come on, it wasn’t all bad."
—Unredeemed
5th Place
▲ Darren Davis/Jaden Wilder | The Stronger Series by J. Marie | A Predator of Girlbosses
—Forced relationship
—Her body can't resist Darren. Her heart, however, has not given in to him. I don't think it ever will.
—Kidnapping
—Jaden, a mixed martial artist, was sold into sexual slavery via a human trafficking ring owned by Darren, a billionaire crime lord.
—Rape
—Sex Prisoner
—Slavery (complete with a shock collar that can also measures her pulse, and contains a GPS tracking chip.)
—Obsessed (she is like a drug to him.)
—Dehumanization
She's a pet to him. A possession he tattooed his name onto.
—POSSESSIVE
—Threatened to kill other men if she stared at them at for too long. It's not an idle threat.
—CONTROLLING
—Forces Jaden (a tomboy) to wear dresses, heels, the color pink, and other girly clothing she hates. No pants allowed.
—Abuse (one of punishments involved breaking her wrist, and fracturing her ribs and jaw with his bare hands/arms.)
—Trauma/PTSD
—Manipulative (exploitation of trauma bonding and intermittent conditioning tactics.)
—Isolation
—Targeted/threatened to kill Jaden's entire family so she'd have nothing left if she tried to escape. And because she "belonged with him".
—Darren got an uncle and he showed her a recording of how the uncle died: slowly and painfully.
—She despises him. Unfortunately, her hatred turns him on.
—Trapped
—Darren is a billionaire. A crime lord. Way stronger than her (physically and martial-arts-wise). He has cops in his pocket, powerful allies on his side, and so on.
—Torture
—Life with Darren is a hurt/"comfort" rollercoaster – the "comfort" half part of the abuse.
—He enjoys hurting her.
—Tortured Jaden so hard that he broke this hardy, girlboss character. She only recovered because he wanted her to. Darren wants a toy he can tame over and over again, not a fully broken one.
—"Between his belt, fists, and cock, by the time he was done, my body was one giant bruise."
—Forced marriage
—Made Jaden attend a sex trafficking auction with him to mitigate her PTSD symptoms through "exposure therapy". It didn't help her.
—Unredeemed: This is a man who has broken many female slaves: he can't be fixed. Darren may care about Jaden – in his own twisted, messed up way – but he will always prioritize his wants over her happiness, and keep her enslaved. She'll never be his equal. Book five hasn't been released yet, but the other four have reinforced how much of a sadistic, unrepentant, and sick bastard he is. I hope Jaden kills this guy in book five.
6th Place
▲ Anthony Rawlings/Claire Nichols | The Consequences Series [and the companion books] by Aleatha Romig | A Woman's Worst Nightmare
[Tony's worst misdeeds took place in book one.]
—Took full advantage of the massive wealth and power at his disposal. As one of the top wealthiest men in the United States, Claire could not escape him, nor hide.
—OBSESSED
—Paid off 215 thousand dollars of debt she owed, indebting her to him; "I currently own you, until your debt is paid."
—STALKING (Before Tony kidnapped her: Six months of secretly recorded footage?!)
—Wait a minute, he kept track of her for six years, actually?! What's that...? The true answer is ten years?!
—Dehumanization: In the beginning, he used her as an object for his pleasure. Felt that she "deserved" it for revenge reasons.
—Manipulative
—Influenced the course of Claire's life without even meeting her face-to-face. For example, he ended the young woman's relationship with a college boyfriend, Simon, by contriving a situation where the boyfriend ended up moving to another state for an internship.
—Kidnapping (a date rape drug, GHB, was a part of his abduction plan.)
—Forced relationship
—CONTROLLING (one of the worst control freaks on this list, and that's saying something!)
—Controlled every aspect of Claire's new life: what she could or could not do, her schedule, how she dressed, what she wore, who she could talk to, and so on. And she wasn't allowed to drive.
—He even micromanaged her body language down to the smallest detail.
—Rape
—Sex prisoner
—Abuse (he called it "operant conditioning": positive consequences for positive behavior — negative consequences for negative behavior.)
—Torture
—Isolation (used as a manipulation tool.)
—Trauma/PTSD
—She was always under surveillance by cameras in his mansion.
—Made her watch traumatizing recordings of him abusing her. As punishment.
—Enraged at a perceived betrayal, he beat Claire within an inch of her life. She nearly died, and ended up with chronic headaches moving forward.
—Tony "promised" Claire he would try his best to never physically hurt her again, but only if she never gave him cause to hit her again. How do you think that went?
—Trauma bonding: To such a brainwashing-esque degree, it was as if Tony had Claire under a kind of "mental thrall". The trauma bonding... was used against Claire in court.
—Dubiously-consensual marriage (Book 1)
—"Do you have any idea of the consequences if you did decide to leave me?"
—She was completely financially dependent on him.
—Kept her isolated from her sister and other people who weren't him or his staff.
—POSSESSIVE: Tony ordered the assassination of Claire's former boyfriend, just because they had a friendly conversation and he got jealous about it! It turns out Simon died at someone else's hands, but I'm not letting Tony of the hook here. Intent!
—A jealous Tony talking about himself and Claire: "At present I believe you need to concentrate on showing me my wife is first and foremost concerned with pleasing her husband."
—After failing a secret test of his, Tony framed Claire for attempted murder against him by having her hand him a poisoned coffee on camera and then intentionally drinking it during a web conference. Making her look guilty. At court, the prosecutor (in Tony's pocket) successfully painted her as a lying, scheming gold-digger.
—Once again, Claire could not escape nor hide from him. (Book 2)
—The effects of Tony's "lessons" (molding her into a perfectly obedient companion) and "operant conditioning" (abuse) lingered on past book one, making Claire more inclined towards being compliant with him despite herself. This didn't get fully dealt with until far into book three.
☆ Redeemed: A pretty solid redemption arc! Tony's remorse and apologies were followed by actions. The CEO put genuine effort into changing his toxic, controlling ways; this involved modifying old behavior for the better, doing some prison time, getting therapy, admitting his faults and misdeeds, treating Claire as an equal, and standing by his promise to never take her agency away from her ever again. In short, Tony went from being a woman's-worst-nightmare type of control freak to a good husband.
--
Due to Tony's redemption arc, this pairing would rank lower than one containing an asshole CEO or billionaire character with the same exact misdeeds as him, but unredeemed.
However, as for John the Doctor/His Wife, they got bumped down because John (while also a controlling POS) wasn't amongst the top wealthiest men in the country. What's more, Tony, the extent of his power, and the control he had over Claire, beat John in the problematic and nightmare fuel departments.
7th Place
▲ John the Doctor/The Yellow Wallpaper's Narrator | The Yellow Wallpaper | Medical Misogyny Personified
—Controlling
—Manipulative
—Confinement
—Trapped
—Isolation
—Abuse
—Torture (mental)
—Trauma bonding
—Infantilized his wife.
—She went insane because of her dismissive, doctor husband.
—John is 19th century patriarchy personified.
—Unredeemed
8th Place
▲ Christopher Davenport/Anna Champion | Lemonade by Nina Pennachi | Silent Suffering
—Rape
—Manipulative
— Obsessed (with Anna and revenge; she suffered because of said two things.)
—Possessive
—Controlling
—Forced marriage
—Trapped (used her taken virginity and apparent pregnancy so he could coerce her into marrying him.)
—Turns out she wasn't pregnant, but he threatened to make that happen if she didn't marry him.
—Abuse
—Trauma/PTSD
—Chris used the 19th century patriarchy against Anna.
—Wanted to control Anna and put the poor young woman "in her place," forcing her into the role of a doormat.
—Threatened her family repeatedly to make her comply.
—Got his victim's family to like him. She couldn't tell them about the rape, given Chris' threats, and her father's poor health. They thought he was a "good guy". An abuse victim's worst nightmare.
—Her spirit took a severe blow when Chris destroyed her porcelain doll.
—Trauma bonding
—Unredeemed (at least he admitted that out of everyone, he hurt her the most.)
—Why did he start treating Anna terribly? Rude behavior on her part. Nothing major. Unfortunately for her, his damaged ego can't abide small insults either. He was alluding to this when he told her she had "provoked him to do the unthinkable."
9th
▲ Valentino/Angel Dust | Hazbin Hotel | An Eternal Pimp
—Forced relationship
—Slavery (owns Angel's soul)
—Abuse
—Rape
—Trauma/PTSD
—Possessive
—Coerced Angel into doing sex work/being a sex slave
—Physically assaults him
—Takes a large cut of Angel's money.
10th Place
▲ Oh Sangwoo/Yoon Bum | Killing Stalking | No One’s Safe From This Straight Dude
—Forced relationship
—Codependent
—Stalking
—Kidnapping
—Dehumanization
—Used him as a replacement for his mother.
—Broke both of Bum's legs with a sledgehammer.
—Rape
—Sex prisoner
—Abuse
—Torture (physical and mental)
—Trauma/PTSD
—Coerced Bum into being his accomplice.
—Trauma bonding
—Murder attempt
—Unredeemed
▲ "Kesedo"/"Rabby" | My Sweet Bunny Cage by Parasite Garden
▲ Ezekiel/Herace | The Devil Who Breaks My Neck by Tilly Billy
▲ Theodore Redford/Anastasia Everdeen | If You Wish for My Despair by Samo
▲ Marquis Rothbart Lohengrin/Anna Lee | Swan's Grave by KEN (켄)
△ Top-tier starts here! △
🟥 Asherad/Daphne | Escape Me If You Can by Hyerim Sung
🟥 Derek Hawke/Marietta Danver | The Marietta Danver Trilogy by Jennifer Wilde
🟥 Sean Culhane/Catherine Enderly | Stormfire by Christine Monson
🟥 Anthony Welles/Cassie Brougham | Devil's Embrace by Catherine Coulter
🟥 Leon Winston/Grace Riddle | Try Begging by Libenia
🟥 Matthias von Herhardt/Leila Llewellyn | Cry, or Better Yet, Beg by Solche
🟥 Nikolas Constantinos/Jessica Stanton | All That Glitters by Linda Howard
🟥 Fire Lord Ozai/Ursa | Avatar: the Last Airbender
🟥 Heathcliff/Isabella Linton | Wuthering Heights
🟥 Apollo/Persephone | Lore Olympus
—Unrequited
—Rape
—Trauma/PTSD
—Entitled
—Obsessed
—Manipulative
—Stalking
—Took advantage of his higher position.
—He blackmailed Persephone to keep quiet about her sexual assault, or else he would have spread the photos he took of that moment.
—Kept trying to force marriage upon her.
—Tried using a True Love arrow (forced love) on the goddess
—Unredeemed, and I stand by this: the arrow (it pierced him instead of Persephone) forced Apollo into feeling terrible regarding his actions towards Persephone. That's not true redemption: the key thing about a redemption arc is the desire to change as a person on the villain's part. Willingly. Apollo wouldn't have ever done that on his own, period. He didn't regret any of his misdeeds.
🟥 Christian Grey/Anastasia Steele | Fifty Shades
🟥 Mr. B/Pamela Andrews | Pamela, or Virtue Rewarded by Samuel Richardson | Proto-Romance Novel | Proto-Fandom; Pamelists vs. Anti-Pamelists | People Wrote Pamela Fanfiction
🟥 The Joker/Harley Quinn | Batman
—Manipulative
—Controlling
—Abuse
—Joker treats Harley like a punching bag.
—Murder attempts
—Trauma bonding
—Codependent
—They are the Cycle of Abuse couple! Check out Mad Love, the Batman Adventures comic written by Paul Dini and Bruce Timm.
—Unredeemed
🟥 Ahmed Ben Hassan/Diana Mayo | The Sheik by E. M. Hull | Proto-Bodice Ripper
🟥 Daemon Targaryen/Rhaenyra Targaryen | House of the Dragon
🟥 Coriolanus Snow/Lucy Gray Baird | The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes
🟥 Erik, the Phantom of the Opera/Christine Daaé | The Phantom of the Opera (Unrequited)
🟥 Sebastian Everett/Isabelle Walsh | Virtue & Vanity by Astrid Jane Ray
□ Upper-Tier starts here! □
Medium-Tier/Orange
🔶️ King Shahryar/Shahrazad | The Arabian Nights
🔶️ The Darkling/Alina Starkov | The Shadow and Bone Trilogy by Leigh Bardugo
🔶️ Queenie Goldstein/Jacob Kowalski | Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
—Enchanted (mind-control) Jacob to make him marry her. He he was afraid of getting Queenie in trouble with the Wizarding law, thus didn't want marriage. She didn't respect his wishes and made him do what she wanted.
—Joined the muggle-hating, wizard supremacists. Said she did it "for Jacob", despite him begging her not to, but again: she didn't listen. Queenie regretted her decision in the third movie, but still...
—Shoddy redemption
🔶️ Misa Amane/Light Yagami | Death Note (Unrequited)
🔶️ Hal Stewart/Roxanne Ritchi | Megamind (Unrequited)
🔶️ Andre Grandier/Oscar François de Jarjayes | The Rose of Versailles
🔶️ Kuvira/Bataar Jr. Beifong | The Legend of Korra
🔶️ Anakin Skywalker/Padme Amidala | Star Wars
🔶️ Scott Blackstone/Sydney Evans | You Can Have Manhattan by P. Dangelico
🔶️ Sheldon Lee/Jenny Wakeman | My Life as a Teenage Robot (Unrequited)
🔶️ Pepé le Pew/Penelope Pussycat | Looney Tunes (Unrequited, but also not sometimes)
🔶️ Jacob Black/Bella Swan | Twilight (Unrequited)
🔶️ Fitzwilliam Darcy/Elizabeth Bennet | Reverie & Rancour: A Pride & Prejudice Vagary
—Forced marriage
—Trapped (this story takes place in the 19th century: she couldn't simply divorce her cold, resentful husband.)
—In this retelling, Elizabeth and Darcy ended up getting married on account of Mrs. Bennet's interference. He thought Elizabeth plotted with her mother to trap him into marriage. Elizabeth did no such thing, but he wouldn't believe her.
—Abuse (of the emotional, financial, and neglectful kind.)
—Financial: "Elizabeth would have nothing from him. No pin money. No settlement in the case of Darcy's death, beyond her own meagre dowry and lifetime rights to Pemberley Grange, a miserable cottage buried in the woods north of the great house. Elizabeth would not benefit a jot, and her husband's disdain would be visible to all the world. With no pin money, she would be required to beg him for the very clothes on her back. She would know his disapprobation and feel his generosity in even providing the shelter of marriage. Perhaps one day, she would be properly humbled, would beg his forgiveness and set out to win his favour. He would extend his largesse to her, of course, with proper evidence of contrition. Perhaps she would weep in gratitude, kiss his hands, fall to her knees..."
—Worst of all, she got sick and nearly died because of her inadequate winterwear – which was his fault. Darcy didn't allot her enough pin money for the clothing she NEEDED. He said her "basic needs would be supplied", but nope!
—Dehumanization
—Didn't really look at his wife for months, hence the reason why her declining health went unnoticed by him She was a "siren" (threat) in eyes, someone he did not want to develop warmer feelings towards.
—Took no action whilst his family members and servants disrespected her.
—Forbade Elizabeth from writing to her family. There was no contact at all for months.
—Treated everyone else better: "You are fair to your tenants, and your staff think well of you. I cannot but wish that you had at any time in our acquaintance shown to me the same generosity."
—Trauma/PTSD
—Shoddy redemption: I'm not giving him a redemption star for being a fair and generous man to his wife at last, which was the bare minimum.
🔶️ Shigure Sohma/Akito Sohma | Fruits Basket
🔶️ Alessandro De Lucci/Theresa Noble De Lucci | The Unwanted Wife by Natasha Anders
🔶️ Edward Rochester/Jane Eyre | Jane Eyre
—Manipulative
—Gaslit Jane about Bertha's existence in his home.
—Lied about being single.
—Pretended to be engaged to Ingram, so he could make Jane jealous.
—Almost made Jane commit bigamy with him.
—Controlling
—Told Jane he would "try violence" (most likely an empty threat?) against her.
☆ Redeemed: Rochester changed for the better.
🔶️ Gilbert Truman/Rose Davenport | Unforgivable by Joanna Chambers
—Slavery
—Rose's owned Pearl: this (and the reason below) is why Pealrose ranked this high in this tier. For all of the other yellow-tier couples' flaws and dysfunctions, they didn't start off in a master/slave relationship.
—Rose's final order to Pearl as Pink Diamond: Pearl couldn't physically disobey it. Rose exploited her lover's built-in slave programming to prevent her from revealing Rose's true identity.
—Unrequited
—Obsessed
—Manipulative
—Stalking
—Stole his diary.
—Used said diary to blackmail Ulrich and make him go on a date with her.
—Used her position as the principal's daughter to her advantage.
—Exploited Ulrich's amnesia and told him she was his "sweetheart". Borderline non-consent territory right there!
—Continued to pester him, even though he kept rebuffing her.
—Did not apologize for her insistent advances on Ulrich. That said, she gradually improved as a person throughout the seasons.
🟡 Marinette Dupain-Cheng/Adrien Agreste | Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir
—Unrequited (and not!) This whole "love square" thing is silly. XD
—Obsessed
—Stalking
—Possessive
—Jealous
— "What is she doing with MY Adrien?”
—She memorized his entire schedule! Knew it by heart.
—Has broken into his home.
—She's tried keeping other girls from getting close to Adrien, romantically.
—Adrien kept flirting with "Ladybug" and asking her out on a date despite her not being interested.
🟡 Maylen Ortesev/Alina Starkov | The Shadow and Bone Trilogy
🟡 Catra/Adora | She-Ra and the Princesses of Power
Before Adora and Catra both became enemies (they were fully on opposing sides following "The Sword Part 2"):
—Codependent
—Possessive
—Resentment (on Catra's part) towards Adora existed even before they became enemies.
—Catra tased Adora when she turned her back to the cat girl, and then again when she was down.
—Was not going to let Adora defect from the Horde without hurting her.
☆ Redeemed
--
I used to deem Catradora abusive, simply because they're a friends-to-enemies-to-lovers couple. Their shared history changed the usual ETL dynamic, where these kinds of couples usually start out just a strangers/enemies, not people who were friends initially — was my reasoning behind that thought process. But you know what? I was wrong. The stuff Catra put Adora through happened during the enemies phase of their relationship, when they were on opposing sides as combatants who could hold their own against each other. It wasn't an unequal relationship wherein one partner was dominating and controlling the other.
Therefore, calling this ship "abusive" isn't accurate.
🟡 Daphne Blake/Fred Jones | Scooby Doo! Mystery Incorporated
🟡 Rio Pacheco/Jerrica Benton | Jem
🟡 Ulrich Stern/Yumi Ishiyama | Code Lyoko
🟡 Kylo Ren/Rey | Star Wars
Kylo and Rey are Star Wars arch-enemies. They weren't in a committed relationship, where there was a power imbalance and a pattern of abusive behavior. They stood on opposite sides of a war. Furthermore, his actions towards her are your typical Star Wars fare between two arch-enemies and run-of-the-mill hero vs. villain happenings, fighting, violence, kidnappings, murder attempts, trying to kill the hero's friends, going after the hero, attempting to get said hero to join Team Bad Guy, and so on.
Kylo didn't even do any of that stuff to Rey out of sadism towards her. Like I said, standard hero vs. villain stuff.
⇧ Lower-Tier starts here! ⇧
Bottom of the list
Undecided (Not part of the list)
• Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham | Hannibal
Definitely heavyweight-material, but I haven't watched the show. As a consequence, I don't know where to place them exactly. And their dynamic appears... not so clear-cut?
• Adam Taurus/Blake Belladonna | RWBY
Was Adam shown abusing Blake in the episodes? When they were still on the same side? As enemies, they were no longer in a relationship.
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I have, on an undisclosed sideblog, a piece of fanart that is basically just garbage pencil sketches of 4 characters from the shoulders up. I scribbled it in maybe an hour, if that. Added some color tint and text in Photoshop, not much else. I didn't even erase the construction lines.
You know how many notes it has?
Move over to my "problematic pairing" sideblog (same fandom), where I have a digitally-inked and shaded full-body art of 2 characters with colored lineart, a distinct style, and a shiny effect. I spent 3 days on it. I even fully shaded the pencil sketch after I had scanned it in, one of the few traditional art pieces I've completed over the years. Nothing offensive, 100% safe for Tumblr. It's not even "shippy". The characters are just sitting beside one another and not even touching.
How many notes does it have?
The lesson here, friends, is that the number of notes has nothing to do with the quality of your art and a whole lot to do with how "acceptable" you are to the fandom.
antis: if you write/draw/explore unhealthy content you basically deserve to die
also antis: fans of shit like GOT
I'm not bashing GOT, I'm just pointing out the hypocrisy. Sure, we'll consume media where there's tons of canon incest but shame fic writers who make no money for writing incest in fiction, no matter how it's portrayed.
I've already talked about how wild the age gap hypocrisy is in the FMA fandom. Sure going to watch a media where Trisha is depicted as having known Hohenheim as a child and ignore the 400 year age gap. Or that Dante canonly tells Ed she planned to murder Rose and fuck him in his friend's corpse. You go ahead and shame the RoyEds and GreedLings or whatever.
There's plenty more examples but I think age gap and incest are the big ones in my fandom.
If nobody ever wrote anything problematic we would lose stories, TV, movies. Not only because everyone's concept of problematic is different (for you it's age gap, for homophobes it's same sex relationships etc.) but because without problematic content and characters we'd quickly run out of villians to narrate around.
Exploring unhealthy dynamics in fiction doesn't necessarily mean you support it.
Hi hi UKCat! *waves cheerily* I do write a problematic pairing - Robert Baratheon and Sansa in two of my stories - one was a time travel fix it (so Robert is the horned god with bluest eyes that Ned remembered) and the other, which is much problematic as he is much older (and she is a child), philanderer, child beater, etc.
Robert is such a flawed character and I had to actually put it down and skip writing a few chapters because I was so disturbed and shaken. I try to not excuse him, his past or his present actions (especially his indifference, at best, towards “his” children with Cersei). I am trying in my story (still incomplete) to see if a little kindness would change him for the better.
I'm NOT okay with underage ships. I don't judge people with blanket assumptions but I personally need the characters to be of consenting legal age to be comfortable.
In some cases that's actually 16, but I really prefer post canon future AU, especially after a long separation.
Shipping Ed with an adult? Maybe he comes back when he's 25 (or something) out of the blue and things develop over time.
AU where he's not married to Winry, or maybe they have an open relationship/poly etc. I've seen a lot of divorce fic too, to make it work.
Post COS, somehow the Elrics come back to Amestris or AU that Ed doesn't leave at the end and they find another way to close the portal.
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