#probablily

Let’s spread the self-love 💖

Okay I love this so much and it made me realize just how many fics I have on ao3 right now. I would have never guessed 124 of them. This was way harder than I thought. This isn't in a ranking order also, that's just too hard <3

depollute me, pretty baby (40k, E) I'm really proud of some of the storylines covered in this fic, and honestly feel like this was the one that really made me lock into Shane and Ilya's voices in future fanfics I've been writing. Also it's deeply personal and covers some things that I've experienced personally which always makes a fic more meaningful.

i've been playing dead my whole life (10.3k, M) Kind of in a similar line of thought, but this one may just be the most personal fic I've ever written. I wrote it on the 1 year anniversary of losing a loved one to the same exact ICU stay that Shane goes through (not the same injury) quite literally in like a haze of grief. I don't remember writing it at all, genuinely. But I went back and read it and was just very proud of the emotions captured in it, as well as taking something so personal and still keeping Shane and Ilya themselves, if that makes sense.

if you drink my pain, you can swallow my pride (71.7k, E, WIP) I mean, I feel like this needed to be on here. It's so different from anything I've ever written and I feel like it's truly stretched my writing skills in a way that a fic hasn't done in quite awhile. This very nearly never got posted, so I'm really proud of how far it's come.

Smooth Talkin', So Rockin' (60.4k, M) Did I truly dare to write a Hannah Montana AU for Steddie?? Yeah we did that! This was a genuinely fun project to work on. It was for a BigBang event and the artist I was paired with was so amazing to collab with. They created a bookbind of this fic that I have sitting front and center on my bookshelf, and it's so creatively made that it just made me love this fic even more.

anything for you, teddy! tagging lily too cause she also asked about this one @probablily

this is something i've started pinging ideas back and forth with @aenigmatica about!

i dont have a ton of concrete outlines for this yet but the synopsis is the following:

ilya is a priest and shane is an altar boy for the church he's at and things get twisted pretty quickly yay

some excerpts of our ideas:

soooo yeah :))))))

1. what does your username mean?

my current url is taken from a song lyric, however i'm looking to change it soon 👀🤔

28. rec a fanfic! or a fan edit! or a fanart! or a fan artist!

the last hr fic that absolutely blew my mind was mine to devour by vvindyvvillovv on ao3, this edit by @boitterfly, and this fanart by @mina-logan

29. you have to buy coffee for 1 heated rivalry character, who are you buying for and what are you bringing them?

hmmmm. david hollander, bc i have daddy issues :)

9. what’s a ship you love but don’t want to see become canon?

hm. tbh, i've actually enjoyed several of buck's onscreen romances, but i wasn't sad to see any of them end, either; i think they all served a purpose for the character and ended when they needed to. i really loved eddie/shannon, but if she had lived i do not think i would have enjoyed how that relationship ultimately played out in the show.

as far as completely non-canon relationships goes, i think buck/ravi is fun to play with as a concept, but i wouldn't want to see it actually happen in the show.

16. what’s the best thing about your least favourite character?

well, my least favorite character is gerrard, and the best thing i can say about him is that he finally recognized it was high time for him to find a different job.

dead people edition LMAOO incredible 👏 love this okay.

fuck: bobby bc i just KNOW that man is a freak in the sheets

marry: kevin bc he just seems v sweet and also joining the lee/buckley-han family sounds wonderful. they all love each other sooo much 🫶

kill: escalator guy sooooo sorry escalator guy 😩

Lay All Your Love on Me by WeeBeastie - Ilya makes fun of Shane for his big, useless dick :)

thank youuu 💗💗💗

teddy asked about possession too so i will answer that one there and tag you!!!

okay so i assume you've seen the movie love actually? i want to do an au about the storyline with the writer that gets cheated on and goes to his countryside home around christmas where he has a housekeeper that comes and visits. they like each other but she only speaks portuguese so they try to communicate as best as they can.

so shane is the writer and he comes to his little cottage and that's where he meets ilya, and his sponsor asks if shane can take him to the bus stop every night and he agrees. shane is old-school so he's using a typewriter for his current novel, and ilya goes to take his coffee mug thats holding pages down and ofc a gush of wind comes and his pages go flying in the swamp. ilya strips down to his underwear and jumps in to try and get them and shane is like gobsmacked cause whoooaaaaaaa damn ilya is hot af.

anyways they bond and when shane is going to drop ilya off he tells him that the best part of his day is their drives together, while ilya says in russian that the hardest part of his day is leaving shane.

shane goes back home and he can't stop thinking of ilya, so he starts learning russian. he builds up his vocabulary enough to form short sentences, and a few days before christmas he travels to where he knows ilya stays, and finds his room mates sveta and sasha who lead shane to the place ilya works at as a waiter.

there he recites the speech he's prepared in russian confessing his love and wish to be together in front of the entire restaurant [its sloppy but its enough to where everyone understands him]

to his surprise, ilya answers him in broken english that yes, he loves shane too and wants to be with him. shane is floored and whispers, "you learned english??"

and ilya smiles so wide and says "just in cases"

THE END

also tagging @yourbestclothes cause they asked about this too!!! 💖💖💖