#pro-tips

1) Tip #1

Take some time to practice replacing every ‘d’ in your speech with the letter ‘p’, as in, ‘I got out of bep early this morning, brushep my teeth and came here’.

2) Tip #2

For the tech savvy, use a random text selection engine on James Joyce’s famous modernist novel Ulysses to generate answers to interview questions.  For example:

Q: What do you think are your weaknesses?

A: Gravediggers bury Hamlet père and Hamlet fils.  A king and a prince at last in death, with incidental music.

You may be wondering, dear friend, why you should adopt this admittedly odd advice.  I will tell you.

First, this technique immediately allows you to stand out as an individual and not just an abstracted version of yourself polished to reflect the needs of the spittle-flecked needs of the market.  Avant-garde human resources personnel will immediately recognize that they have a real person on their hands, not another phony, and will probably stand as if in ovation at the end of a concert, reach their hand out to you and hire you on the spot.

Second, these interview techniques signal to all potential employers that a new relationship between workers and management is on the horizon.  This new order promises that the glistening white teeth of executives are no longer sufficient for capitalism’s holy war against us.

The most efficient way to get as much loot as possible from loot boxes is simple:

1.) There’s no reason not to open loot boxes right when you receive them. The contents are set right them, and there’s no way to change them. If a new patch adds new cosmetics, they won’t be in that specific loot box you earned before the patch. Also, if you’re planning to buy something in the near future, you might get it in the box before you spend your credits on it. All loot boxes earned during an event will be event specific boxes.

2.) For maximum efficiency, don’t spend credits on things unless they’re part of an event that’s about to end and you don’t have time to get more loot boxes. That way, you got as many chances as possible to get them for free, as well as having extra credits from however many loot boxes you earned during the event.

3.) Every third win in the arcade gives you a bonus lootbox. You can do this up to three times a week and it resets on Sundays.

4.) Grouping up with people gives +20% exp, so you’ll earn loot boxes for leveling up 20% faster. The newest patch(as of 12/14/16) added the ability to stay with your current team after a match. Doing this also applies the bonus.

5.) Sometimes, certain arcade modes will give a free lootbox for your next win on them. Thus, it’s possible to earn three lootboxes off a single game(level up off of your third arcade win of the week in a featured mode) I believe one is selected randomly once a week, and whenever there’s a new limited time mode that one also gets one.

6.) duplicate loot instead gives you credits based on its rarity equal to 1/5 of what it would cost to buy the item: 

common - 5c

rares and duplicate player icons - 15c

epic - 50c

legendary - 200c

note: seasonal items cost 3 times as much to buy, but duplicates only give the same compensation prize.