#pretzals

          Hero was visiting for the weekend, and so was Sunny! Like usual, he was staying at Kel’s house, something Kel was perfectly fine with. They were watching a cheesy comedy movie together, only half paying attention, and eating some cheesy popcorn and chocolate pretzels Hero had made for everyone. The couch was full, so Sunny and Kel sat on the ground, sharing snacks. Sunny got full pretty quickly, but, well…

           “Aaaaaaaa!” Sally said, holding her mouth open as she tried to feed Sunny yet another freaking pretzel. Sunny had had enough pretzels, thank you, and was looking to the others for help.

          Kel snorted, “C’mon dude, you gotta eat it! That’s, like, the rule of babies. Can’t say no when they try to give you something.”

          Sally went, “AAAAAAAA!” louder, opening her little mouth as wide as she could and staring intently at Sunny until he gave up and opened his mouth, letting her put the pretzel inside.

           Kel’s mom chuckled, “I would do that to get her to open her mouth for a bottle, seems she’s learned it as well!”

          Sunny had barely swallowed his current pretzel before another was being offered to him. He tried to move his face away, looking very much like a reticent baby himself, but she just started stepping on him to try to get the pretzel in. Sunny looked up to Hero and his parents for help, but they were all laughing at him. Traitors. How dare they!

          Hero was the first to take pity on him and actually help, scooping up his little sister, “I’ll take some pretzels!” He held his mouth open, but Sally huffed and pointed to Sunny. “Noooo… Sally, why! I want pretzels too…” He put on fake sad eyes, hoping to tempt her, but he just got smacked in the nose as she tried to wiggle out.

           Kel snickered, this was funnier than the movie! “Why do you wanna feed Sunny so bad anyways?”

          “She has a crush on me,” Sunny said. He sighed and took Sally, holding her in place far enough away that he couldn’t get fed. “Sally, you’re very cute, but I’m too old for you. You’re a baby.”

            “Wait, what?” Kel says. “Um… Sunny, babies and little kids just like feeding people and stuff. I don’t think it means anything.”

           “Yeah, you’d do that to me all the time, remember?” Hero says.

          Sunny nodded, but apparently gave up enough to take the pretzel from Sally. Sally clapped in joy, giving him a few moments of respite before she went to get another. Insatiable child. “No more…”

           “Wait, Sunny used to feed you?” Kel says. “Sunnyyyyyyyy… Why didn’t you ever feed meeeeeee?”

           “I didn’t have a crush on you,” Sunny said.

          “Erm… wait… Sunny, did…? You know I was dating Mari, right?” Hero said, staring wide-eyed at Sunny. “Though, I guess I just- I kind of wondered why you weren’t jealous. A lot of kids are, when- But?”

          Their parents were absolutely laughing at the mixture of bafflement and blush on Hero’s face as the awful truth dawned upon him.

           “So handsome even the boys wanted him!” his dad said.

           “Who wouldn’t?” his mom said.            “Sunny. Didn’t you meet Hero when you were, like, a baby?”

           “Yes.”

           Kel stares at him, “… Sunny? How long did you have a crush on Hero?”

           Sunny shrugs, “Always?”

          Hero was having a small existential crisis, “I thought you were just being a kid when you said you wanted to marry me…”

           Sally screamed, not content with the fact that people were not paying attention to her.

           Sunny sighed, pulling her into his lap for a hug and smiling ever so slightly, “You’re so needy. Shameless flirt.”

           Sally was blowing spit bubbles while staring up at him.

           “I don’t like you that way. You’re very cute, and are apparently a literal baby, but not my baby, do you understand?”

           “Bwabwabwa.”

           “Good. Things couldn’t work out between us, and I promise you can do much better.”

           Hero whispered, “(Kel, what is even happening?)”

           “Eeeeee? Memememememe.”

          “I know your older siblings’ friends can be quite charming, but I’m not really dating right now in general. Working stuff out in therapy, for starters.”

           “(Hero I have no freaking clue, I think that’s just how they talk to each other.)”

           Sally huffed, crossing her arms, and shook her head, “Nanananaaaaa! NAAAAAA!”

          “I know, I know. But you’ll find someone else, if you want. I know I look younger than I am, but really, it’d just be weird.”

           “(And having a crush on your sister’s boyfriend isn’t?)” Hero said.

           “(Shhhh, Hero, they’re having a moment.)” Kel stuffed more popcorn in his mouth.

           Sally got a really focused, upset face for a few seconds, straining and turning a bright shade of red…

           Ew.

          Sunny scrunched his nose, picking her up and handing her to Hero, “She pooped.” He turned to Sunny, “Maybe talk to me when you can use a toilet.” And then left to get something to wash down all the pretzels with.

           Hero stared dumbfounded at Sally who was looking at him expectantly. Sunny used to have a crush on him? Sunny thought Sally had a crush on him? He was aware that babies couldn’t have crushes… could they? Little kids could have crushes, right? So maybe babies could as well? He wasn’t sure he liked the implications of that, but at least Sunny was setting firm boundaries and talking this out in a healthy way- What is he thinking, this is a baby. Also… “Wait, Sunny, did you ever stop having a crush on me?”

           “She needs her diaper changed,” Sunny said as he brought the cup of soda back.

           “That’s… not an answer.”

           Sunny was never particularly expressive, but somehow managed to perfectly pull off that look Mari would get when teasing him. (And in reality, realized it was weird by now, but he could still tease him. It’s family tradition!)

           “I’m… going to change this,” Hero said.

          “Bye bye!” Sally said, waving to Sunny and blowing him a kiss as she was carried to the bathroom. Hero was pretty sure it was completely innocent, but a shudder ran down his spine anyways.