#pretty numbers

let's be real, he doesn't want me, why try to convince myself otherwise... just have to keep it actually platonic before I get hurt again.... I mean I'm already hurt again, but I mean more.... if he wanted me, we wouldn't have been down the roads we already have been... he'll meet the person he wants to marry one day, hopefully I'm not around to watch it when it's not me... but hopefully I can enjoy him in my life for a while longer at least... but also why, so I can hurt myself more?... I want him in my life so bad, and I know he wants me in his life to some capacity... but I don't think I'm anywhere near as important to him, as he is to me... and while I wish otherwise, I don't think I ever will be... I wish he could read my mind or something, maybe he'd actually love or trust me if he knew the things I think or the way I feel of him... But that's just silly hoping that doesn't matter anyways, he's not a Cullen... he doesn't have vampire mind reading powers... sadly.