#preppy prep

1. Preppy means that you “prepped” for college at an elite private high school. If you went to public school or really anything but a private or boarding school, you are not preppy.

2. Preppy is a state of mind and a lifestyle. It is not dictated by the way you dress. It is dictated by your social class and the evidence of how you were raised. If you aren’t at least upper middle class, you are not a prep.

3. Truly preppy girls wear little to no makeup and they wear the clothes in Birnbach’s books because they are easy and practically mix and match. Truly preppy girls care more about sports and academics than designer makeup and 95 pairs of Tory Burch flats.

4. Let’s straighten out the use of monograms. Monograms were designed for preps because for many generations they went to boarding schools and had to differentiate their stuff from all the other preps’ stuff that looked exactly like theirs. Monograms should be smaller than an inch and on conspicuous places. Monograms were never meant to be splashed across every damn thing you own in some narcissistic attempt to aggrandize your own initials. It’s to keep track of your stuff. If you have massive monograms on your bedspread, phone, shirts, jackets, computer, underwear, and worst, your wall, that is not preppy, that is tacky.

5. Preps were raised in high society and therefore have impeccable manners and sophisticated speaking voices (with some notable and maddening exceptions). If you have that nasally, slurred, high-pitched drunk voice that most monogrammed-out drink sorostitutes have, you are not a prep. You are just a drunk sorostitute wearing tacky monograms.

6. If every picture of yourself and your pink and green monogrammed bestie is labeled “preppy BFFs!” or”so prep!” or “preppy love!”, you are not preppy. Real preps don’t have to - or want to - point out that hey went to a prep school every minute.

7. Real preps can hold their liquor because they’ve been sneaking their parents scotch and martinis since the age of five. Please see #5 regarding tacky sorostitutes.

8. If you like and wear Vineyard Vines, Lilly P, JCrew, etc… That’s all that means. Real preps wear unlabeled Ralph Lauren and English designers because their pieces look like big blankets.