#prengant

How do you tell the person you've just started dating that you're expecting his child? It's the question that has been bothering me since I left the doctor's office. So many emotions in such a short time. I was hoping to be a father sometime in my life, but with Sandra. Since I started dating Isaac I discarded that option, I don't know why I did it. Prejudice, for sure, I come from a traditional family and two men being fathers together was not usual. I thought I would have to adopt or use a surrogate to be a dad in the future. And it turns out that I am finally one of those few men who can get pregnant and as luck would have it, I am expecting Isaac's child.

I needed to clear my head before I got home, so I didn't go back by bus, I decided to take a walk around town until I got to Isaac's apartment. I stopped at a shop window, my reflection in the glass already showed a belly that a few months ago was not there. My breakup with Sandra resulted in my anxiety about food. In just a couple of weeks I put on 50 pounds, I look like a cow. I've always been a glutton. It was the reason I started playing soccer, to stay in shape. Since I stopped playing soccer I had lost muscle, but I never put on as much weight as I did in those days. I lost some weight these last few weeks, but the belly was still there. It wasn't very big, because I'm a big man, but it definitely showed. As I looked at myself in the window I put my hands on my belly and rubbed it. I didn't look too bad, I even looked sexy. I better get used to it because this little one is only going to get bigger.

I arrived home two hours later, on the way I stopped to buy some donuts and eat them in the park in the sun. Was it the first craving? Isaac arrives home at 20:00 from the university where he is a literature professor. I prepared a special dinner, decorated the table for the occasion and dressed more elegant than usual.

When Isaac arrived he greeted me with a romantic kiss and a hug. When he saw the beautifully decorated table he asked me if we were celebrating something and I told him I had a surprise for him.

"Honey, as you know, today I had an appointment at the doctor's because of my belly, which was harder than usual. He said there's nothing wrong with me" I said and Isaac made a relieved face, he held my hands to reassure me. "The thing is... it turns out... I'm pregnant... I'm expecting your child", as I told him about it his face drew an expression of greater surprise. I haven't known Isaac for a long time and I wasn't able to interpret what he was thinking at that very moment.

There was an eternal silence. It would barely last a few seconds, but for me it was the longest moment of my life. Isaac grabbed me again with his big, warm hands. At that moment a sense of peace washed over me. "It's all right. I'm not going to lie to you if I tell you that I didn't expect to be a dad so young, but I think you're the father I always dreamed of for my children. I love you so much, Daniel," he said, looking into my eyes with emotion. After that, we kissed passionately.

"According to what he told me, I'm a one month pregnant, so if I do the math, it had to be the first time we slept together. It's one of the few times we've fucked without a condom, so it has to be from that day. I have no doubt," I said. Actually, this detail didn't matter anymore. I could see Isaac's excitement overflowing. His eyes were shining like never before. I don't think anyone had ever looked at me with as much love and admiration as he did at that moment.

The following weeks were complicated. I kept having morning sickness. My appetite grew and I regained the weight I had managed to lose since I started dating Isaac. My doubts about my body returned, but he made sure to remind me that he met me with a belly and that it was one of the parts of my body he liked the most. In fact, whenever he had the chance he would show it to me. I worked part-time as an IT guy and the rest of the day I spent walking, eating and resting until Isaac came home in the evening. Since we found out we were going to be parents our sexual activity has multiplied. From what they say, pregnant women enjoy sex more in the final months, but my body is already enjoying it from the beginning.

By the time I was two months pregnant, I weighed 230 pounds. For someone who for many years had been under 170 pounds, it was a major change. Most of my clothes no longer fit. Actually, they hadn't fit for months, although I didn't want to admit it. With the belly I gained after the separation, all my shirts were tight. And now my pants started to fit tight too. I had to buy a lot of new clothes in very large sizes so that they would fit me for a longer period of time. With the new clothes I could look like I wasn't pregnant, just a little chubbier than usual.

We decided not to tell our friends and family until I had a new ultrasound and they checked to make sure everything was perfect. We both wanted to share the news with our loved ones, especially with Isaac's friends, with whom we met almost every day. With them I felt very supported and understood from the first day. They made me feel like one of the group of friends, even before Isaac and I started dating. I had more in common with them than I did with my high school or college friends. I would even hang out with Bruce, Ken, Tom and Justin when Isaac was at home preparing for his classes. They had become my family.

The day of the ultrasound came. I left work and headed to the hospital. I was excited, eager to find out if everything was going well. The bus arrived, I entered the hospital and stood in the waiting room. Isaac was already arriving, he had taken his car from the university and in a few minutes he would be with me to go in for the ultrasound together.

As I waited, a woman with a huge belly sat next to me, she must be about to give birth. I looked up and saw it was Sandra, and she looked very sad. "Hello, Sandra, it's been a long time, how are you doing" I asked her. Deep down I would have preferred that meeting not to have taken place. She burst into tears without answering me.

When the crying passed, she looked at me and said, "I missed you Dan. Everything was easier with you. But look at me, about to give birth, abandoned by Peter and without a job. I've screwed it all up." I didn't think her life was so bad, why would Peter leave her? "I see you're doing better, you're glowing. Your cousin told me that after our breakup you had a hard time and put on a lot of weight, but now you had met someone and were very happy. I imagine that if you are in this clinic it will be because you are going to be a father. Congratulations," she told me in a reproachful tone.

"That's right, I'm going to be a dad in about seven months. There's still a long way to go, but I'm very excited," I told her. I knew those words didn't help to lighten the mood, but inside I was so happy since I knew I was pregnant that I didn't care about anything else. Just then Isaac came into the waiting room and kissed me before sitting down next to me. "Sandra, this is Isaac, my boyfriend. Isaac, this is Sandra, my ex-wife," I introduced them. Isaac offered his hand in greeting, but Sandra remained disgruntled.

"Your boyfriend? Are you gay? Did you use a surrogate to become parents?" Sandra asked. Isaac and I looked at each other and couldn't help but smile. "Yes, we're boyfriends. I met him at soccer few weeks after our divorce and, although it took us a while to become boyfriends, I think I fell in love with him from that day on," I said looking Isaac in the eye, even though I was responding to Sandra. "No, we didn't resort to a surrogate," Isaac said putting his hand on my belly and rubbing it, while looking at me and winking. That gesture didn't help with Sandra, but it came naturally to Isaac.

"Wait, what, you got pregnant?" said Sandra in surprise. "That's right, I happen to be unknowingly one of the few men in the world who can get pregnant. It wasn't a wanted thing, but we're so happy to be able to be dads," I told her. She gasped. It was normal, the man she had been married to for three years was standing in front of her with a boyfriend and announcing that he was expecting a child. At that moment we were called to the office. Isaac and I got up immediately and I said goodbye to Sandra. Isaac approached her and invited her to come to our house for dinner that night to continue getting to know each other and talk. Although I didn't really feel like being with Sandra, this kind of gesture is what made me fall in love with Isaac. She, to my surprise, gladly accepted the invitation. It was the first moment that day that I really saw her happy.

I lay down on the table and the doctor started the ultrasound. He said he could feel my belly a little bigger and firmer than last time, that was a good sign. Isaac didn't stop holding my hand at any time, he was so excited about this pregnancy. The doctor confirmed my suspicions, there was more than one baby. "Congratulations to both of you, you are expecting triplets." Three babies? I thought it would be two, three is a lot. My face was terrified. If expecting one child already scared me, and the thought of two terrified me, three made me panic. At that moment I thought about how much I was going to get fat, how it would change my life to have three babies to support. A feeling of responsibility and fear at the same time.

Angie hugs Marco for 37 hours

Angie spent thirty-seven hours squeezing Marco out of her body, and she said threateningly, "GIVE YOUR MOTHER A HUG."

I figure it is time for another update. I’m in need of some blogging therapy and have a lot of updates to share! The last 4 weeks have come and gone in the blink of an eye. 36 weeks pregnant and SO ready to be done. Life has been a roller coaster. 

Grayson Thomas…

Since being diagnosed with gestational diabetes, I have been put on insulin at night to help control my fasting numbers in the morning. Being put on insulin automatically signed me up for doctor visits twice a week. I go in Mondays and Thursdays for a 30 minute timed ultrasound where they test the babe on 4 key points. He has to practice breathing for 30 consecutive seconds, he has to have large movements and small movements and they measure my amniotic fluid levels. If he doesn’t pass all 4 tests with in the half hour, we have to be seen by the specialist. Thankfully, Gray has passed with flying colors every ultrasound so far. After the ultrasound, we go to a 30 minute non stress test where they hook me up to monitors, and they measure any contractions, and Gray’s heart rate. They like to see his movements to make sure he is hitting 10 big spikes within the half hour time frame. Those are going well also. 

Over all my weight has hit a plato, thank god. I am controlling the diabetes and maintaining a healthy meal choice most days. This all helps with Grayson’s growth, and with my over all well being. They have set my induction date if I don’t go on my own before then, and we are keeping that date to ourselves for the time being. I will say, it is coming up FAST. 

Grayson had an updated growth ultrasound on Thursday. His head is measuring at 38 weeks, his belly is measuring at 41 weeks and his over all measurements are at 38 weeks 4 days. They estimate his weight to be about 8lbs 6oz. To say I am concerned is an understatement. I seriously think my due date is off, but the doctors are going to continue to monitor me closely to ensure he doesn’t get too big. They still are talking about having me try to deliver naturally, which I am all for, but if this kid gets ANY bigger I’m afraid he wont fit. Only time will tell. 

My Body…

My body is suffering. My feet are swelling to massive sizes, walking for long periods of time is painful and impossible and I am still working 40+ hours a week in retail. I feel like I am about to shit out a bowling ball, my belly is gigantic and I am beginning to get dark purple stretch marks around my belly button and lower belly areas. My hands have been going numb and swell every once in awhile and my nipples are on fire. 

At my last appointment they checked my cervix which was 40% thinned out but still closed. Baby is still sitting high, and I can tell! They checked me for Group B, which was pleasant, but thankfully came back negative. At this point I will take any wins I can! With all my swelling, I’m hoping they will start checking my urine to ensure I haven’t developed preeclampsia. 

The Kings…

The last 4 weeks have been tough.

I had someone hit my car causing $2000 worth of damages. Thankfully she was insured and admitted fault so I didn’t have to pay for the repairs, but coordinating a rental car for a full week, dropping off and picking up the cars, on top of juggling the doctors appointments and work was definitely not ideal. On a positive note, I have my car back, it’s fixed and back to its beautiful self. 

2 weeks ago, my husband and I had to make the difficult decision to put our 12 year old Pekingese pup down. We adopted Casper when he was about 9 years old, he was blind and suffered from a thyroid condition which caused him to have hearing loss and hair loss. We had him on all the necessary medications from the time we adopted him until his departure. Over the last few months he had definitely been struggling more than his typical daily struggles being deaf and blind. He started suffering from seizures, loss of appetite, interest and sleeping more than usual. We took him in in July to find out his liver wasn’t working properly. After talking over our options we decided to give him some more time, and manage his pain as his seizures weren’t consistent and his spirits seemed to begin to pick up again. 2 weeks ago his butt looked swollen, and we assumed he was due for his anal gland cleaning. I contacted the vet and scheduled an appointment. When I took him in I was under the impression his glands were just clogged more than normal, and that he was going to be in and out. The vet took one look at him and delivered the heart wrenching news. 

His glands were in fact clogged but he had developed an abscess which was infected. They would have to lance the abscess, drain the fluids every few days and put him on antibiotics. The kicker was because of his age, and other health problems, they wouldn’t be able to put him under the necessary sedation which would make the procedure extremely painful. She also noticed some swelling in his back leg which wasn’t normal for the area of concern. There was a 90% chance that if they were to do the procedure, they would likely find a tumor which would mean we would have to put him down right away after inflicting the extreme pain in trying to clean out the abscess. 

I called my husband, he met me at the vet, and we talked through all of our options. Overall, his quality of life was our number one priority, pain management was second. We couldn’t put him through all that pain and suffering so that he could stay with us selfishly. We decided together that the time had came for our 12 year old man to cross the rainbow bridge. 

Casper was our first baby together. We are still grieving his loss, and haven’t adjusted to our lives without him yet. We miss him everyday but know he is out of pain, and is now our guardian angel.

We had another big change happen about 3 weeks ago involving Jordan’s first son, and his mother. I am working on a separate post about that situation because it is complicated. 

Although the last few weeks have been challenging, I am so excited to see what the next 3 to 4 weeks will bring. We are less than a month away, and I am nervous, anxious and ready to be done! Lets go baby, time to come out! 

Until next time...