#prefernce

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” you smiled as you picked up one of the muffins – your favourite, you noted – and peeled off the casing, taking as big a bite as you could manage. Bob simply breathed a laugh at the sight.

“You might have mentioned it once or twice,” he replied quietly, admiring the way you still managed to look perfect white stuffing your face with food. You glanced up at him mid-chew, stopping when you saw his soft grin. 

“What?” 

“Nothing,” his smile widened as you finished it off, licking the stickiness off of your fingers as you did so. You didn’t miss the way his eyes darted down to watch them. “Did I ever tell you how beautiful you look even when you’re stuffing your face with cake?” He smirked, leaning back against your desk as you rounded it to carry on tidying up the papers you had abandoned to let him in. 

“You know what, I might need a reminder,” you teased, not thinking anything of it until you felt a noticeable presence directly behind you.

“We have some time,” he murmured lowly, bringing his lips down to the shell of your ear. You felt the heat in your cheeks instantly. This wouldn’t be the first time you two had taken some risks on a base before, but it would be the first time since you were reassigned to Top Gun with him. 

You turned to look up at him, acutely aware of your desk pressing in the back of your thighs. Your eyes flitted to the door, and he understood. In just a few strides, he had moved to lock it and was back in front of you, his lips instantly finding yours. His hands cradled the sides of your head, tilting your head back to get better access to your lips, his own moving hot and messily against yours. You both knew the drill. There was no playing around, you couldn’t afford more than a quickie. 

Your own hands were fumbling behind you, trying to move the piles of paper and your laptop out of the way enough to sit back onto the cool wood. “Fuck, I can’t believe you came to work in this damn skirt again. This happens every time,” Bob groaned against your skin as he helped you sit back onto the desk, his hands then moving to rest on your thighs just beneath the skirt hem as you opened your legs to allow him to stand between them. 

It was true, whenever you wore this skirt and these glasses, you always ended up sprawled out on your desk, or pushed up against the wall of a hangar. You just had a fun habit of forgetting what this combination did to your adoring boyfriend. 

His lips found yours again as he started to push the skirt up your legs, your hips wiggling to help his movements until it was bunched a little around your arse and waist. At this angle, the edges of your glasses kept catching his, 

“Oh for fucks sake,” he grumbled as he removed a hand momentarily to pull his glasses off, casting them somewhere across your desk haphazardly, causing you to giggle. The sound was quickly replaced by a moan, however, as his lips reconnected at the juncture of your throat, wet kisses making their way across your pulse point and down towards the collar of your shirt. You leaned back instinctively to let him closer, resting on your arms as his touch worked its way back down your body until his fingers brushed the outside of your already damp underwear. They circled a few times, the light friction still not enough as you tried to buck into him. 

“Always so responsive.” You could hear the snigger in his voice and you roll your eyes, thankful he couldn’t see. Instead, you leaned forward, your hand reaching for the hard outline of his dick through his uniform, squeezing teasingly in response, 

“I could say the same,” you said with a smirk as he whimpered a little at your touch. Nevertheless, it drew the response you wanted. His fingers went from teasing to pulling at the band of your panties, dragging them down your legs roughly, abandoning his endeavour as soon as they were out of his way, leaving them hanging loosely around one of your ankles. His fingers were immediately back on you, this time rubbing between your slick folds, gathering the wetness that was pooling and dragging it upwards over your clit, pulling a quiet groan from your throat as your head dropped forward at the feeling. There was no teasing here, Bob immediately sped up his pace, drawing tight, quick circles over your sensitive bud. It took everything in your power to hold back your moans, biting down on your lip as your brow furrowed and eyes shut, the last thing you needed was to be caught. 

“Jesus, darlin’, I need to be inside you,” Bob groaned quietly, reaching for his belt. You stopped his hands with yours, however. Pulling his fingers into his mouth and sucking on them lightly, cleaning them of your arousal as your own hands worked on his belt, “Holy shit, you’re going to kill me.” 

Finally, you had his belt undone and his zipper down and were tugging them down just enough to free him. His dick sprung up, hitting his shirt and leaving the smallest of marks from his precum. You automatically went to wrap your fingers around you, but he stopped you. 

“Enough of that, need to feel you.” Parting your thighs again, he pressed his tip against your entrance as his lips crashed into yours again. He swallowed your moans as he pushed in, pulling away from you only briefly to shush you, his hot breath fanning over your skin as he bottomed out. “Gotta stay quiet, pretty girl.” 

You nodded as your head dropped forward against his shoulder. Your skin felt like it was on fire, your clothes feeling far too restrictive as a fine layer of sweat broke out across your body. Your glasses were slipping down your nose as you buried your head in Bob's neck, trailing kisses across the exposed skin to keep your mouth busy and groans muffled. Pulling back for a moment, you too pulled them off and discarded them along with Bob’s somewhere on the desk behind you. 

You were always surprised at just how full you felt with Bob’s thick cock inside of you. He had pulled you to the very edge of your desk to get his hips flush to yours as you clung onto the edge for dear life. Giving you almost no time to adjust, Bob pulled out all the way before surging back in, his tip kissing the deepest spots of you, gripping your hips to use as leverage to pull you into him to meet his thrusts. It took you both everything you had to keep it quiet and keep it quick. If it was up to you, you would let him fuck you over and over for hours right on this desk, until you couldn't get up to walk back to the car. 

“Fuck, you fill me so good, so good to me, Lieutenant,” you drawled out, loving the way he sped up just a little and his grip tightened on your skin as he pounded into you, the sound of your slick uncomfortably loud in the small room as he tried to pull you both to your orgasms as soon as he could lest you be caught. Which, given how little restraint you had holding in your moans, was growing increasingly likely. 

It wasn’t made any easier when Bob restarted his assault on your clit. 

“Oh shit!’ you cried out, just for him to stop again, clapping his hand over your mouth but not stopping his thrusts. 

“I will leave you here like this if you can’t stay quiet,” he threatened, but you could tell he didn’t mean it. He was as desperate for this as you were. You nodded, biting your lip as he moved his hand back and returned it to your sensitive bud. “You gotta cum for me, baby. Give it to me,” Bob murmured as he refocused his efforts, his movements becoming rushed and sloppy as you could feel him close. His cock was throbbing inside of you as it dragged back and forth relentlessly over your abused walls. You could do nothing but nod overenthusiastically as you felt yourself get closer to your peak, throwing your head back and furrowing your brow as you teetered on the edge. “Be a good girl for me.”

With that, your orgasm broke through you and you bit down on your knuckle to keep your cries in. Your whole body tensed as your pussy nearly pushed Bob out with the force of it. Bob, in turn, buried his head in your neck as he came shortly after you, filling you with his seed so that it started to drip out of you with his final frantic thrusts, your clenching milking him dry and messing up the edge of the desk, threatening to stain the carpet as he rode out his high. 

He stilled for a moment as you both caught your breath, his head staying against your shoulder as you brought a hand up to stroke his hair and you placed a soft kiss to his hairline. 

“God I love doing that,” Bob’s voice was muffled a little before he leaned back, grabbing some tissues from your desk and cleaning himself up, passing you a few to do the same before tossing them into your trash can. Usually, he would take all the time in the world cleaning you up, but a glance at the clock had him swearing; “shit! I’m late.” he worried, hissing a little as he rushed to tuck his still softening dick back into his boxers and tidy up his uniform. You were similarly rushing to push down your skirt over your now cold, but still-soaked panties. 

“Go - I’ll clean up here,” you assured, already grabbing some more tissues to try and sort out your desk. 

“Are you su-” Bob started, looking guilty as he grabbed a pair of glasses.

“Yes, now go!” you urged with a quick kiss to his cheek, pushing him towards your door. 

“I love you,” he called quietly as he slipped out of the room and rushed down the corridor, starting to push the glasses back into his place on his nose.

You turned as he left, throwing the last of the tissues into the bin and straightening out your papers again, reaching for the remaining glasses and slipping them on, blinking a few times as you tried to adjust to them. 

Peter let out a long sigh, the type where you knew something was wrong from the start of it. “It’s good I guess, she’s just- she’s a lot to handle.” Y/N looked back at Laura Jean who had a raised eyebrow. “She’s always wanting to talk on the phone or hang out with me, and sometimes I actually can’t because of practice and family things, but other times I just don’t want to. It’s almost like she’s obsessed or something.” The jock shook his head, “She’s a great girl and all but man, sometimes I don’t know how I ended up with her.”

Y/N’s world stopped. Her heart stopped beating, her longs stopped taking in oxygen. Everything just stopped. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Peter Kavinsky, thought his girlfriend was too much for him to handle. Sure Y/N texted him a lot, but what else was she going to do when she had no one to hang out with or talk to? When her homework was done, or when she was having a bad day? Is wanting to talk to your boyfriend obsessive? Is wanting to see them obsessive?

“Wow, did he seriously just say that about you behind your back?” Laura Jean whispered again. Y/N gave a slow nod. She couldn’t find it in her to say anything, not now, not after what she just heard. “We should go.” Y/N nodded again, and walked away with her friend, her heart aching and her eyes blurred with salty tears. 

The pair of girls walked to her car, not waiting for Peter like they usually do at the end of the school day. Y/N didn’t know if she could face him now after he said all those horrible things. After she heard what Peter said Y/N really thought about it. Sure, she texted him a lot, but it’s not like she spammed his phone demanding where he was, who he was with, and what he was doing. If he was with his friends she’d leave him be, maybe send a picture or something she thought he might like, or send a good morning or goodnight text, but she was not the type to stalk his every move. 

“Am I really obsessive?” Y/N said out loud on accident. Laura Jean looked over at her friend while she drive, a frown laying on her lips. 

“No, you’re not Y/N, don’t think that just because Peter said that makes it true.” 

“But, he said it, he thinks it, I mean, what if I am obsessive?” Y/N looked at her friend, who was now focused on the road.

“You are not obsessive, Y/N, okay? You care about Peter, you want to talk to him about things when you feel like no one else will understand but him. You give a shit about him and what he does and if he’s okay. Some people would kill for someone to be like that for them.” Y/N didn’t say another word, not even really knowing what to say.

Meanwhile, Peter had waited almost fifteen minutes for his girlfriend so he could give her a ride home. Peter began to worry when she hadn’t showed up his car, his mind thinking up the worst possible situations before thinking of the most reasonable. Giving up on waiting Peter started his car and drove out of the parking lot and headed to Y/N’s house to see if she was there. It didn’t even occur to him that she could have heard everything he said about her. Before driving off Peter sent her text messages and even called her to see if she was okay and know where she was, but there was no response. 

Laura Jean dropped Y/N off at her house, leaving the girl alone to wonder if she was obsessive. Y/N’s parents had gone into work that day, so she was home alone until they got back. She put her back on the kitchen table and pulled out her assignments and began to work on them, even though there was no point since she was so distracted thinking about Peter’s words. 

In her daze of distraction Peter had pulled into her driveway and knocked on her front door. The pounding sound broke her daze and she slowly walked to her door, hiding her body behind the door and looking through the peephole to make sure it wasn’t a stranger. Y/N huffed when she saw that it was just Peter. Y/N opened up the door, letting him in without a word. 

“Where were you after school? I waited in the parking lot for fifteen minutes!” Peter said a little aggressively.

Y/N shrugged and went back to the table, “I had Laura Jean drive me home. Didn’t want to bother you.” Y/N said dryly.

Peter rose an eyebrow, “I always drive you home, why would it bother me?”

“Don’t know, don’t want you to have to handle too much.” Y/N worked on her homework, eyes glued to the paper to keep herself from looking up at the boy and crying. 

“Okay, what’s wrong? Why are you acting like this?” Peter really didn’t get it, he didn’t know that she heard everything that he said about her.  Y/N shrugged, keeping quiet and continuing to work, Peter’s heavy hand on top of her’s is what made her stop writing. “What’s wrong.”

Y/N pulled her hand from under Peter’s, “Nothing, I’m fine.” If he thought she was obsessive and didn’t like him always trying to talk to him, then maybe she wouldn’t. Peter wouldn’t let it go and Y/N knew that. 

“Well why didn’t you answer any of my calls? Or my texts?” Peter asked yet another question, but he couldn’t see that the answer was already there. 

“Phone was charging.” It wasn’t a complete lie, it was upsatairs charging, but she really just didn’t want to talk to him at that specific time.  There was silence, and Y/N couldn’t stop herself from asking the next question, “Do you actually want to be with me still, or do you just feel obligated to be in this relationship?” 

Peter stopped for a second. He didn;t understand why she was asking that question, but soon enough he would. “Of course I still want to be with you, why would you think I wouldn’t?” 

“Oh maybe because you think I’m obsessive and I’m too much for you to handle.” The words slipped from her mouth easily. 

Peter stared at her blankly as realization hit him. She heard everything he said at the school, and now he didn’t know what to do. “Y/N/N..” Peter began to say, but she just held up her hand to stop him.

“There’s no need to explain, I’ll just leave you alone from now on. It’s okay.” Y/N looked at his stunned eyes and then back down to her paper, holding in her breathe and barley breathing as she waited for him to say something. 

“Baby, I’m sorry, I didn’t- I don’t know why I said those things.” Peter was trying his hardest to explain but it’s hard to make it seem like you didn’t mean what you say, when you really do. Y/N was still silent. “Y/N/N, baby, please say something.”

Y/N just shrugged, refusing to look up, “I have nothing to say, Peter. You got what you wanted, I won’t talk to you as much. I won’t send you pictures as much. I won’t send good morning or goodnight texts. I’ll be the type of girlfriend that doesn’t care if you’re okay or not, I won’t ask to hang out. It’s okay, you don’t need to stay now. I’m sure you’d rather be with your friends anyways.

Peter’s head was spinning. He loved everything about Y/N, all the texts, all the pictures, everything he said that bothered him, he actually adored. So why? Why did he say those things? 

“Y/N, I love you, I didn’t mean those things I said.” Peter’s hand was now resting on top of Y/N’s again. 

“How do I even know you mean that? Hard to know what you really mean anymore.” Y/N sighed and looked at their hands, eyes burning with the tears she was holding back. “You should go, Peter. I have work to do.”

“If you like this view, you should see the one from my tower,” you could hear the wistful smile in the wizard’s voice without having to turn around. “Uninterrupted starry skies for miles across the horizon.” you turned to look at him a little, beckoning him with your head to sit next to you. You smirked to yourself at the somewhat respectful distance he had kept from you as if worried he was encroaching on your time alone. 

You saw his shoulders relax as he moved towards you, settling into the spot beside you and encouraging you closer into his side. You willingly laid your head against his shoulder as his arm moved behind your back, holding you close to him and letting you relax fully into his warmth. You didn’t realise just how chilly you were until his heat enveloped you. The stark contrast made you suspect the heat wasn’t of an entirely natural origin – the smile that crept onto his cheeks when he heard you sign contently confirming it. 

“I bet you can’t wait to get back,” you hummed, letting your eyes fall onto his face as he admired the sky himself. His eyes seemed to sadden a little as you spoke, 

“More than you can possibly imagine,” he pushed a tightlipped smile nonetheless, you knew he was just as scared about not making it through as you were. Not that any one of you would say it out loud. “You can take the wizard out of Waterdeep but not the Waterdeep out of the wizard, it seems.” You huffed a laugh, returning your gaze to look back out to the dark sky. 

“How about you?” he asked, turning to you a little. You didn’t meet his gaze as you replied, 

“I’m not sure,” you pondered quietly. Sure you had a place to stay before you were abducted, but it wasn’t somewhere you would quite call home. You hadn’t spoken about your past with anyone since your band of unlikely company gathered together – not that you had much time to even think about it yourself. “I can’t say I have put much thought into it,” you said truthfully.

Gale sat quietly for a moment, eyes not leaving the side of your face, raking slowly over the fine curves and lines he had grown so unbelievably fond of in such a short amount of time. 

“Well I can’t wait to get you home, if you will let me.” His voice was so blasé that you nearly choked on your own saliva. Instantly, your eyes snapped to his, searching them for any sign that he was joking, or simply trying to pander to your affections at that moment but you couldn’t see any signs other than pure honesty. 

You could see his mouth starting to open, panicking a little that he may have overstepped a line with his offer when you shut him up: “Gale, you are my home.” 

His lips clamped shut, and his eyes seemed to shine just a little at your words. For once it was his turn to be speechless – but only for a moment, of course. 

“My, all the reams of poetry in the world and you manage to make my heart stop with just five words,’ he breathed, unable to hold back his grin. “Tell me you mean that?” he asked a little quieter, his lack of self-confidence creeping through the cracks. 

Your mind catching up to your admission, you nodded as you bit at the inside of your lip, unable to look away from his deep brown puppy dog eyes, framed by gentle, beautiful, smile lines as they lit up brighter than the stars above you. 

You felt his arm move behind you, wrapping more securely around your waist to help pull you into him, his lips planting themselves on your forehead for a long moment before he pulled away, just barely, and kissed you properly. It was slow, soft, albeit a little clumsy. You had kissed plenty of times before, but it was like you were trying to pour every unsaid emotion through one action all at once. As if pulling away even a millimetre would shatter the moment.

Finally, needing breath, he moved back a little but left his forehead resting against yours. Your hand lingered against his cheek, thumb smoothing the rough hairs down as you relished the slight scratch against the pads of your fingers. “I love you,” he murmured, “I love you more than any home, any place, any realm in the conceivable universe.”

“I love you too, Gale Dekarios.” Your cheeks flushed as you nuzzled your nose against his softly. “I- '' you were interrupted by the faint screeching of Astarion somewhere below you, Wyll and Karlach bellowing with laughter and a rather unnerving sound of slightly louder crackling flames. 

“I think we should go and save them again,” you finished instead, fighting back a laugh as your moment was broken. 

“Bagman,” he rolled his eyes at Nat’s dig, “this is [y/n], my friend from high school.” You smiled politely and nodded a hello as he looked you up and down, tongue rolling the toothpick he held between his teeth as he did so. 

“Nice to meet you at last, [y/n],” he drawled. “Jake. Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin, I have heard a lot about you,” he introduced himself, putting heavy emphasis on his actual callsign as he shot a glance towards Nat. 

“All good I hope,” you felt your smile falter. You had heard plenty of him, and while a lot of it wasnt great, you had a hard time denying the fact that he really was as gorgeous as he was made out to be. Six foot of muscle packed into the tightest brown uniform – it wasn’t difficult to see why so many girls had gone to bed with him one night and woken up without him the next morning.

“I’d say so,” he replied, pausing momentarily before pushing himself away from the table. “What do you say I get you another drink?” he asked, eyeing the nearly empty glass in your hand. 

“I don’t think she would be interested in-” Nat began, but you stopped her

“Sure, why not?” You felt her stare on the side of your head, but were too focused on the smile that lit up Jake’s face at your response. He gestured back towards the bar and you followed, looking back momentarily to shrug at Nat, Bob and Bradley’s slight looks of disappointment. 

“And I thought you said she had some sense,” Rooster teased, watching you lean against the bar next to Jake as he called Penny over. 

“Yes, well, she has her moments,” she mumbled back. 

“How come it has taken so long for me to meet you, you seem pretty cozy with chicken and the baby?” Jake asked, leaning closer to your ear so he didnt have to raise his voice. 

“I’m sure Nat has her reasons,” you shrugged, glancing back over to Nat. 

“She has told you about me, then?” that smirk was back again.

“Oh they all have,” you laughed, thanking Penny as she handed you your drink, not missing the look she shot at Jake before she turned away. 

“All bad things, then?” 

“Something along those lines.” He paused for a moment at your answer, taking you in. He had heard about you a few times in passing. He was sure the rest of the squad had known you for a while now, but Nat had conveniently whisked you away for a girls night ‘free from exuberant amounts of testosterone’ any time he turned up at the Hard Deck at the same time as you – why, he had no idea, but he kicked himself for the time lost as he admired you. There was something about you he found outright gorgeous. 

“How do you feel about me trying to change that view you have built up of me in your head?” he asked suddenly, breaking the momentary silence that had settled between you. You raised an eyebrow, this was unlike the Jake Nat had told you about. 

“It would certainly make for an interesting night,” you replied uncertainly, but Jake smiled anyway, removing the toothpick fim his lips to take a sip of his beer. 

That is how you ended up sat at the bar chatting to him until Penny kicked you out at 2am. His squad had left long before, and Nat had whispered a brief warning to be careful tonight before she left. However, so far as first impressions went, Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin was a gentleman. 

“Can I walk you home?” he asked as you stepped out into the cool coastal air, pulling his jacket a little tighter around himself. You pondered for a moment and he seemed to sense your hesitation. “No funny business, gentlemans honor,” he jokingly crossed his heart. “I just don’t want you walking back in the dark with a load of drunk Naval officers hanging about,” he said more seriously. 

Considering his offer you nodded at last, not being able to help your small smile as he offered you his arm. Looping yours into his, you guided him back to yours, taking almost double the time it should have as you continued chatting, taking the slightly scenic route along the beachfront. As promised, he had dropped you off on your porch, waiting for you to lock your front door before he started his long walk back to base, praying that you hadn’t seen the grin that nearly split his cheeks as you stepped inside. Maybe this is what all those RomComs his mom used to watch were about, he wondered as he headed back. 

***

Things continued like this almost every night for the next month – whether he walked you home from the beach, the bar, or even the outskirts of the base where you would hang out with Nat and the others in their down time. He always seemd to be conveniently around. 

It didn’t even have to be dark, he would always find some excuse to walk you back, be it that he had ‘seen some dodgy people hanging around’ or ‘it was cold and you needed to borrow his jacket, so he might as well come with you.’

It was impossible to deny that you had fallen for him hard and fast, which was what made your friend’s deployment that much harder when it finally rolled around. You knew they were only back for month – they were essentially on loan to you, as much as you didn’t want to think about it. And for the next three months, you life almost instantly reverted back to a dull cycle of work, rest, and sleep. 

You hadn’t expected much from Jake given that you two were not even close to what you could call official in any capacity, but every day that ticked by you thought of him, counting down the days until your friends – and most importantly he – docked back home. You even had the date of their return marked down in your calendar, with the words ‘Homecoming Party’ circled furiously – as you could possibly forget about the deal to meet them back at the Hard Deck that night after you had finished work. 

Rushing in, you had scooped Nat and Bob into a tight hug, squealing as you finally assured yourself that they were all back safe again. You had moved around hugging each and every one of them until you came to Jake. Moving to hug him, he stepped back somewhat awkwardly, stopping you and your heart in its tracks. Instead, he had offered a quick nod and a ‘glad to be back – good to see you.’ 

From there, long nights spent talking turned into quick nods of acknowledgement. Walking home had turned into long walks alone or with either Bob or Rooster when Nat insisted you didn’t walk back in the dark. Overall, the result was many awkward nights glancing at each other across the group, instantly looking away when you caught the other one looking. 

Eventually, Jake started distancing himself from you completely, barely even acknowledging your arrival – making hanging out with the group in its entirety almost painfully awkward. You felt guilty whenever you showed up and the laughter stopped on account of him ignoring you, so you distanced yourself, only catching up with the others whenever you caught them without him around. Given the Hard Deck was his favourite haunt, that was a lot less frequent than you would have liked – but who were you to break up a team that so desperately needed one another? 

***

“Hello, earth to [y/n]?” Coyote waved his hand in front of your face as you sat dazed in the sand. You hadn’t even realised the sun was setting and you had been sitting out there all afternoon. Blinking a few times, you gazed around, noting Coyote and Fanboy standing over you and blocking out the sun. 

“Hey, sorry, in my own little world,” you laughed, lifting your sunglasses onto your head. 

“No shit,” Mickey looked at you worriedly. “You good? We haven’t seen you in weeks.” You nodded hurriedly, almost too quickly for it to be honest. 

“Yeah, work has just been crazy busy,” you lied. Work had been just as dull as always. You could tell that they didn’t buy it. 

“Well, we have a little party tonight to celebrate the start of our leave, our usual spot, if you’re interested? Nat asked us to pass along the message if we finally saw you.” You thought for a moment. It had been a minute since you saw them all and you had to admit that you were tired of distancing yourself for the sake of one arrogant pilot. “Are we losing you again?” Javy joked.

“No, sorry – yes, I’ll be there,” you agreed at last, not being able to stop yourself smiling as they beamed. 

“Great, see you at eight!” they called as they started heading off. Laying back against the sand again and throwing your crossed arms over your eyes, you prayed you had made the right decision. 

***

When you saw Nat and Badley turn up arm in arm, you decided you had indeed made the right call. 

“At long last,” you squealed, pulling Nat into a hug as soon as she was close enough to you. 

“I knew you two would finally get over yourselves,” Reuben teased Nat and Bradley as you let her go and he pulled her back into him. Nat rolled her eyes, 

“Shove off, Payback,” she joked, blushing. You couldn’t help but grin at the sight. Nat was tough – the most independent woman you knew, but if you had to hear her not-so-subtly talking about Rooster one more time behind his back you were going to stand on the bar and scream her love for him for her and get it over with.

“I’m joking,” Reuben continued, jokingly raising a bottle to them, “I’m happy for you, god knows some of us had to settle down eventually,” He grinned as you, Mickey, and Bob all raised your glasses in succession. 

“Yeah not like any of you lot have a chance any time soon,” Bradley quipped with a lopsided smile, shooting a pointed glance at Hangman as he spoke. You saw him falter uncharacteristically before he clenched his jar, his fingers tightening around his bottle before he spoke, 

“Nah, you know me, don’t want to be chained down, thank you very much.” As he took a sip of his beer, he glanced around the suspiciously quiet group around him. His eyes landed on you, lingering beside Nat. For a moment he held your gaze, his cocky grin dropping so slightly you barely noticed as he clocked your gentle frown. 

You had long given up trying to convince yourself that Jake was the different man who had spent a month finding any excuse to say hello. Everything else he did pointed to the man people had warned you about – perhaps you just weren’t interesting enough to him to consider even a one-night stand with. 

With his half-arsed comment, you finally lost all hope of trying to rekindle whatever it was you had with him. You had tried your best to talk to him again, but all he gave you was casual conversation and nothing else. It was like drawing blood from a stone and it had slowly worn you down. This was just the final nail in the coffin. 

Downing what was left of your drink you announced you were heading to the bar, walking away before anyone could ask you to get them another round too. 

“Hey,” your shoulders relaxed when you heard Bob slide up next to you, “have you been avoiding us?” he asked, a little unsure as you sipped on your new drink. 

Hurriedly, you shook your head, “God, no, sorry I have just been so busy wi-” 

“Don’t say work. I know that’s a lie,” he interrupted you. “It’s Bagman, isn’t it?” Your silence answered for him. “You two didn’t…” 

“Oh no, nothing like that,” you quickly put that idea to bed, trying to ignore how it stung.

“He has been acting like more of a dick to all of us if that’s any consolation,” he tried, glancing back over to where Jake now stood slightly apart from the group. Bob frowned when he saw him watching the two of you at the bar before looking away quickly. “He was so snappy on deployment I thought he would run himself out of the air, never mind the rest of us.” 

“Any ideas what’s gotten into him?” you pried, trying to avoid looking at him for the umpteenth time tonight.

“Not a clue,” Bob said making you sigh, you settled into a comfortable silence. 

“I hate to be this person, but I think I might head off early. I have shown my face, at least. It might be easier and more enjoyable for all of you to start your leave without a big grey cloud hanging over you all,” you started to push away from the bar.

“You don’t have to, you know that.” You shook your head again. 

“I’m tired anyway, I think I spent too long out under the sun,” you smiled sadly as Bob admitted defeat, stepping back with you. 

Returning, you turned to Nat, “I hate to be a party pooper, but I should be heading off,” you faked a smile. 

“What, why?” she asked, stepping away from Bradley and lightly touching your arm, her brows furrowing as she looked you over, “Is something up?” 

“No, no, honestly,” you smiled a little wider as you shook your head, hoping she would buy it. “No, I just have an early start tomorrow, I have some things I need to get done before work.” She continued to look at you concerned but relented anyway.

“Do you want me to walk you home?” Bradley asked, overhearing your conversation. 

“Oh, no I’m fine, it’s still fairly light. Thanks though, Roo.” You smiled as you reached for your jacket, noticing Jake watching you as you did so. “I’ll text you when I’m home, don’t worry,” you smiled at them both before you turned to leave, waving and shouting bye to the others as they called their ‘goodbyes’ and ‘catch you laters’. 

You missed how Jake pulled Bob aside as you walked away, asking why he hadn’t insisted on going with you too. You also missed how Bob shrugged him off, murmuring to him quickly and bitterly that he really ought to start offering himself rather than pushing all the other guys to watch over you for him – not that you needed it.

***

“Do you want another drink?” Matt asked, standing up and picking up his glass, bringing your attention back to the real world. You nodded, thanking him as you sat back into your little booth. You smiled to yourself as you watched him head to the bar and lean over it, ordering your drinks. There really was nothing like a man in uniform.

This was the first time in months you had managed to get to a second date with a guy. Jake’s comment about being chained down had stuck with you and you had downloaded a dating app that very night. Deadset on leaving the blonde-haired, dreamy-eyed aviator behind you. Rather irritatingly, however, nothing seemed to have stuck. 

Bringing yourself back to reality, you glanced back around for Matt. He had moved from his spot at the bar, but wasn’t heading back over with your drinks. Frowning, you stood, trying to glance him over the masses of heads in the bar that night. 

That’s when you spotted it. Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin had him nearly backed against one of the bar posts. He was only a few inches taller than the other aviator, but he seemed intimidating nonetheless as he murmured something lowly into his ear, his jaw set as he pulled back before breaking into a cocky grin, slapping Matt on the shoulder and sauntering away. 

That prick, you thought as your stomach dropped. Matt hurried over to you, forgetting the drinks on the bar after the little altercation, instead busying himself with pulling his phone out of his pocket:

“Hey, something’s come up I’m gonna have to dash,” he floundered, reaching for his jacket. “I’m sorry, I’ll text you?” he posed it more like a question and you nodded, unable to take your eyes off the back of Jake’s head as he resumed laughing with his friends. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” you said quietly as Matt bustled off. It was the same excuse as the last two guys, and you had finally clocked onto why. 

As the tears welled in your eyes you didn’t even notice that Javy was gesturing towards you, Jake’s head turning to see you standing stock still staring daggers into the back of his skull. 

It wasn’t until his face dropped and he started slowly making his way towards you that you were able to move your legs, grabbing for your coat and throwing it on as you stormed out of the bar, ignoring the sound of him calling your name. 

You hightailed it out onto the sand, shoving your hands into your pockets as you continued walking, trying to ignore him following you. 

“[y/n], wait, what’s wron-”

“What the hell is your deal, Jake?” You stopped in the sand, spinning around to face him as he followed you. “Every time anyone gets close to me, every first date, every fling, you scare them away! I saw you doing it tonight. They go to get a drink, you show up, and they suddenly have to run. What did I do to deserve that?” Jake stood uncharacteristically quiet as he watched you rage. “I tried to be your friend, but you have never shown me an ounce of interest. Not once. So what business do you have screwing everything up for me, hm? Can you just not bear to see people happy?”

“They will only come to hurt you.” he finally spoke, irritatingly calm. 

“Who are you to decide that? I am a big girl, Jake, I can make my own judgments.” “No, you don’t get it.” “Don’t get it?” you laughed incredulously. “Then please enlighten me!” you threw your hands out to the side exasperated, your eyes welling up but unable to move away from his own. 

“I’m trying to protect you,” he started, finally losing his tether and raising his voice ever so slightly, making you jump. “We have no idea when we will be coming home – if we will be coming home most of the time. You would be left at home grieving over someone you barely got to see, and I can’t do that to you, dammit!” “You can’t? Jake what are you-” “I fucking love you, [y/n]. I have always loved you,” his voice slowly became quieter as he watched you stop still, your breath catching in your throat.

“Don’t say that,” you murmured, clenching your jaw. 

“It’s out there now, isn’t it? I don’t remember a time I didn’t love you. Before my last deployment, I was sure I was going to say something when I got back, but then something happened that nearly meant I didn’t come back and that terrified the shit out of me. Not becuase I was scared of dying, that is part of what I signed up for, but because I wouldnt be able to see your face again. Imagine I had asked you out, hm? And you had said yes and I didn’t come back. The thought of you sitting here alone, getting that message that I’d be coming back in a body bag? That didn’t sit with me. 

“Fuck, I would rather suffer not telling you how I really felt knowing I had spared you from the pain of hearing that someone you love would never be coming home – whether that was me, or that lieutenant who was trying to get you into his bed last week, or whoever Matt was,” he breathed heavily, his heart hammering in his chest as he saw the tears start to roll down your cheeks.

“You don’t think that was mine to decide?” you asked quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. 

“[y/n], I-”

“No, Jake, stop it,” you held your hands to your temples, screwing your eyes shut as you tried to fight back the headache that was forming. “I- I can’t believe this,” you breathed, finally looking back up at him. “You stopped acting like you even liked me, you tolerated me at best even when I tried to show you I cared about you, and now here you are admitting that you have been keeping me away from everything Navy because of your own fears? Did you ever stop to think for just a second that I knew what I was getting myself into? I wasn’t in it just for a guy in uniform, you know?” you nearly spat, your heart breaking. “God, Hangman you can be so… fucking selfish sometimes!”

“I didn’t mean for you to get hurt.” “And yet you managed it anyway.” You could almost see his heart breaking in his eyes at your words, guilt tightening your throat as you held back your own tears. “I liked you, Jake. God, I really started to fall in love with you – what you let me get to know of you. But you always held me at arm’s length – never giving me a look in. Of course I went off looking for distractions. I started to move on, I-I started to let go of you, for once I started to feel like I could be happy with someone else and now this?” 

“You loved me?” he asked, his voice shaky.

“That is what you take from this?” you laughed but it lacked any humour. “It is not like it would have changed anything anyway,” you said more to yourself than to him, pausing for a moment to calm yourself. “I knew what getting involved with you would look like and I was willing to accept that risk if it meant being happy. It was a trade-off I would have been willing to take. And it’s a shame you didn’t think it was worth it.” 

Jake opened his mouth a few times, for once in his life speechless as he realised the gravity of what he had really done. You stood for a moment in uncomfortable silence. 

“I messed up, didn’t I?” “A bit, yeah,” you replied quickly, starting to take a few uneasy steps back in the sand. 

“At least let me walk you home?” he called as you turned to walk away from him more quickly.

“Just leave me alone,” you shouted, not even turning to look back at him. 

Laying in bed you couldn’t help but finally let the floodgates open. You cried for what felt like hours, the hot tears stinging your cheeks and your nose raw from where you kept rubbing it. You hadn’t the energy to get changed when you came in, instead collapsing to your duvet in the casual but flattering dress you had excitedly picked out earlier that night in anticipation of your date. You felt ridiculous now, lying alone crying in it instead of enjoying your night, but what felt worse was remembering the way Jake had looked at you as you turned to walk away. It felt ridiculous how after all he had put you through your heart still screamed at you to turn back.   

Your body started to feel heavier as you rolled onto your side, gathering up your comforter and hugging it to your chest as you finally let your eyes close and you slipped into a dreamless, dead sleep. 

You woke the next morning to an incessant banging at your front door. Your head hurt from crying so hard the night before, your mouth was dry, and you took a moment to adjust to what had happened. Glancing down, you were still in your dress, the fabric now creased and crumpled from sleeping in it all night. Taking a deep breath, you pulled yourself up, haphazardly wiping at your face as you trudged towards your door, shouting that you were coming and grumbling about how early it was on a Saturday to be trying to knock someone’s door down. 

You swung it open without checking the peephole, eyes squinting at the bright morning light. When they readjusted and landed on Jake, you nearly slammed the door shut again. 

“Wait!” he called, stopping you in your tracks. “You didn’t text anyone to say you got home last night, I- I just wanted to check you got back okay.” You looked at him suspiciously, catching him looking you up and down at the state of your clothing. Self-consciously, you hid yourself behind the door a little. 

“I’m fine. Thanks,” you mumbled, starting to close the door slowly.

“Can I come in?” he asked, stopping you once again. Against your better judgment, you nodded, opening up the door wider for him. 

It was the first time Jake had ever actually come into your house. When he had been sweet on you, he would never let himself past your porch, despite your offers. 

“I wanted to apologise,” he started as you closed the door softly and smoothed out your dress as best you could, somewhat embarrassed to be caught in the same thing as the night before. “I overstepped, but believe me when I say I really didn’t want to hurt you,” he continued, trying to catch your eye. Instead, you refused to look up, afraid you would only cry again if you did. 

“I was just trying to protect you-” you went to scoff but he continued to talk over you, “-but I see now I didn’t need to. It wasn’t my place to. You’re right. I was being selfish and if you want to kick me out now and be done with it, so be it, I won’t bother you again,” he said quickly. “But if you don’t, I will do anything I can to make it up to you, whatever that looks like to you,” he petered off, watching you expectantly. 

Finally, you looked up to meet his eyes. You saw the torment swirling in them – you hated that you still loved him too. Finally, you nodded towards your couch, moving to sit on the arm as he sighed, sitting down across from you. “Please let me make this up to you?” Jake asked quietly, moving ever so slightly closer to you. To his surprise, you let him. 

“You have to promise to let me make my own choices, Jake,” you pressed him and he nodded, swallowing hard as he did so. 

“Yeah, yeah of course, I’m s-”

“Sorry. I know,” you both broke into a small smile. “I don’t think I have ever heard you apologise this much to anyone,” you breathed an awkward laugh. 

“Well you aren’t just anyone,” he smiled. You felt your cheeks grow hot, butterflies fluttering in your stomach. 

“If I decided to give you a chance,” you started, breaking the silence that had settled between you again, “would you be able to get over this fear of not coming back just because of me?” you asked carefully. You saw the conflict in his features. “Would you be able to stop freaking out your teammates on missions?” you smirked as he became flustered – “Bob told me everything, well everything he could,” you cleared up, watching as Jake looked down at his feet almost embarrassed.

“I can’t promise that, doll,” he breathed, “The idea of you standing on that dock waiting for me to come back is too promising a sight,” he joked, loving the way you smiled. 

“Oh, well in that case maybe I won’t-”

“I’m joking,” he butted in in a mild panic, instantly settling when he heard you laugh – a sweet sound he hadn’t heard for months by now. “Yes, I will try,” he gave in.”What do you say to us starting over, maybe I could take you to breakfast?” he tried, his voice unsure of itself. You glanced down at yourself, hating to think about how bad you really looked at this moment, “Or maybe I could bring breakfast to you? Your choice.”

“Breakfast here sounds great,” you smiled back at him softly watching him break into a grin. 

“Great, yeah, perfect,” he fumbled in his pocket for his car keys. “My treat.”