I am in it up to my eyeballs and I don't know what to do anymore. I skirt dozens of phone calls a day from bill collectors, I have a folder the size of the Harry Potter series in my ottoman with numbers that my brain cannot fathom and a stress level that has reached beyond any reasoning. (My phone is ringing as I type this, of course) Finn has two insurances and neither is willing to pay anything. We ((literally)) used up all of our "talk" minutes on our cell phone plan last month being on hold with Aetna and Medicaid, in which we got absolutely no where. We're caught up in a world of medical jargon that we do not understand and being sent on wild goose chases that result in nothing but frustration. Add the two new nights spent in the hospital and it has thrown me over the edge. I have spent the last two days either crying or trying not to cry, feeling like I'm stuck in a pool of quick sand, the more I struggle, the more I fight, the deeper I sink. I desperately need one day without a single phone call, without the dread of opening my mail box, just one day without $500,000 looming over my head. Now it's gotten to the point of interfering with Finn's care. We could not get him his Synagis shot for the month of April (the injection that protects him from RSV), he has yet to receive the booster to his flu shot, and we cannot get insurance approval for a different type of medicine to control his reflux- the poor kid cannot eat more than 4 ounces at a time without getting sick, he cannot eat baby cereal or baby food yet as he can't keep it down. And here I am, stuck. Not knowing what to do to remedy the situation. My mom, Ty and I are going to try one more calling spree on Friday to see if we can make any headway, and if we cannot it seems my options are to hire an attorney, which I am not sure how we are going to afford, or to file bankruptcy. I promised my parents that I would write a letter to our senator, but I cannot help but to feel that it's not going to get me anywhere. Of the thousands of people he has to deal with, what would inspire him to read my letter? To help us? So hopefully I can take inspiration from Finn to keep fighting even though I feel discouraged. To "keep my trunk up" and force someone to help us settle this.
