#pr-f

[I was feeling inspired by a certain thing that was releasing yesterday, so I thought it would be fun to cover minior as a little bonus post. It had been a while since I’d looked at this pokémon’s pokédex info….I thought this was going to be a fun little lighthearted one, but it’s turned into a somewhat grim PSA, if anything! Sorry about that! This was supposed to go up yesterday but Tumblr decided not to, I guess.] A minior would not make a good house pet. In fact, I would go so far as to say it would be outright immoral to adopt one unless you work for a particularly well-equipped laboratory or minior rescue, given their very presence on the ground poses a threat to their health and safety!

While they do weigh in at a hefty eighty-eight pounds in their meteor form, this one-foot pokémon weigh less than a single pound when their true core is exposed. Given their ability to levitate in the air, minions shouldn’t have any problem living in a home in a spatial sense, though in an environmental one they cannot thrive. You see, wild miniors make their homes in the Earth’s ozone layer, far above the ground, where they live off of atmospheric dust that determines the color of their core (Sun - Meteor Form, Ultra Sun - Meteor Form, Sun - Core Form, Ultra Moon - Core Form, Scarlet - Meteor Form, Violet - Core Form). Accommodating for this natural environment will be virtually impossible for a vast majority of owners, and for a minior’s survival it is indispensable.

Miniors fall to Earth, shattering their shells through the force of the impact, once their weight becomes too high or they are forced to in order to escape a natural predator (Sun - Meteor Form, Moon - Meteor Form, Ultra Sun - Meteor Form, Ultra Moon - Meteor Form, Scarlet - Meteor Form). Curiously, this pokémon seems to only fall to earth in specific locations on the globe, in regions like the Alola and Paldea regions (Ultra Sun - Core Form). When left in their exposed core form, miniors waste away and die, largely, once can assume, due to the lack of suitable food available to them and their weakened physical state (Moon - Core Form, Scarlet - Core Form). This can be prevented only through emergency preservation options, like the use of a pokéball (Moon - Core Form). Keeping an Earth-bound minior alive is not going to be an easy feat for anyone, making them exceptionally ill-suited to be house pets. If you come across a minior in the wild, I highly recommend calling a veterinarian or local minior care expert as soon as you can to save their life; adopting one of these pokémon is irresponsible at best.

I don’t really even need to go into it at this point, but miniors are pretty dangerous too. Moves like Self-Destruct and Explosion, given the shrapnel their shells can produce, could easily prove lethal to any human nearby. Due to their Shields Down Ability, Core-Form miniors are known to be particularly aggressive, and its no easy feat to reason with a minior in its shell as in this state it is debated by researchers whether the pokémon can even be considered conscious (Violet - Meteor Form).

This one is a definitely ‘no,’ but there is some nuance to it, which we’ll get into. For safety reasons alone, I can’t really recommend a haxorus to really any owner, but their natural disposition may be surprising to those who don’t have a lot of experience with this pokémon.

To begin, though, these guys are pretty huge. Standing at nearly six feet tall, weighing over two-hundred-and-thirty pounds, and standing with a wide stance, a haxorus is going to be a little big to live as a house pet. While six feet tall humans are fine inside a home, this pokémon’s aforementioned wide stance and seemingly rather inflexible leg joints are going to make it really difficult for them to navigate around furniture and small doorways. Haxoruses will definitely thrive more outdoors. This is actually good for them, since they require minerals from the dirt to keep their tusks healthy (Sword). If you are able to provide them with an underground or semi-underground den of some sort, that would be ideal, as wild haxoruses make their homes in caves and abandoned mines to seek the minerals that they need (Scarlet). This outdoor habitat need isn’t necessarily a dealbreaker, but there’s more to come.

I mentioned at the top of this post that haxoruses have a natural disposition that may be surprising to some. Despite their fearsome appearance, haxoruses are actually described as being quite kind and docile (Black, X, OmegaRuby, Shield). They get along just fine with humans… most of the time. The problem is that haxoruses are also quite territorial, and are quick to anger if their space is invaded or their tusks are touched (Black, X, OmegaRuby, Shield, Scarlet). Despite their usual friendliness, an angry haxorus is simply too much for almost any owner to handle.

Their size alone makes haxoruses a serious problem, making moves like Giga Impact extremely dangerous, but that doesn’t even account for just how deadly those tusks of theirs can be. These blade-like tusks can “easily slice” through steel beams, without being dulled in the slightest (Black, White, Black2/White2, X, Y, OmegaRuby/AlphaSapphire, Shield, Violet). This means that moves like Slash, Dragon Claw, Breaking Swipe, and Guillotine could easily kill a human being in one strike.

This won’t come as a massive surprise to anyone who read my recent post about this pokémon’s previous form, pawniard, but I must unfortunately report that a bisharp would not make the best house pet. These aggressive, territorial pokémon are quite dangerous, and their size isn’t doing them any favors.

At over five feet tall and weighing over one-and-a-half hundred pounds, bisharps are larger than would be ideal for a house pet, especially when you consider their blade-covered bodies. That isn’t to say that they literally won’t be able to get around inside a home, given that they are essentially just the size of a person, but handling or transporting them will be exceptionally difficult unless they are fully willing. An unwanted trip to the vet, however, could be a serious problem. Thankfully, bisharps aren’t too picky about their environment so long as they have access to sharpening stones that they can maintain the integrity of their blades (Ultra Sun) and don’t have to compete over with other pokémon (Shield).

On the topic of competition, we come to the biggest problem with bisharps: their territorial nature and dedication to power hierarchies. As mentioned above, bisharps are known to get into conflict with other pokémon, such as fraxures or even other bisharps, over territory and access the sharpening stones (Shield, Scarlet). These pokémon are always keyed into power dynamics: threats to their access to these resources can beget violence. In the wild, bisharps fight with one another for domination over a pack of loyal pawniards (Black, Ultra Moon, Scarlet), which they lead in hunting prey as a group (White, Black2/White2, X, Y, Omega Ruby, Alpha Sapphire). Bisharps expect total obedience from the pawniards under their command, under threat of violence (Sword). In a home environment, a bisharp’s need for a leadership position will clash within a family dynamic, opening you up to bought of violence or emotional distress on behalf of the pokémon. Since adopting a bisharp with an entire retinue of pawniards is pretty unreasonable, accommodating these behaviors is going to be beyond the means of a lot of owners, and quite dangerous to boot.

While they rely on their pawniards to weaken prey before delivering the final strike (White, Black2/White2, X, Y, Omega Ruby, Alpha Sapphire), bisharps are still deadly hunters. They are described in the pokédex as “pitiless” (Black2/White2, Omega Ruby) and “merciless”, willing to “do anything to win” (Violet). They use their blades to cut at opponents with moves like Fury Cutter, Metal Claw, Slash, Night Slash, and Guillotine, all of which, given their size, could be deadly to humans in close combat. A bisharp that percieves you as a threat to their territory or dominance (not to mention prey!) is not something to mess around with.

While careful training can reduce the danger level of many pokémon, I would say that bisharps’ territorial instincts make them too great a risk to live alongside humans. They are best admired from a (very great) distance.

Since I mentioned it, here’s the post about pawniard:

https://www.tumblr.com/would-this-pokemon-be-a-friend/806813185746354176/im-ready-to-hear-you-thought-about-owning-a-pet

This may come as a surprise, as it certainly came as one to me! A mudray would unfortunately be quite a lot for the average owner to handle, especially in an enclosed home environment. To answer the requestor’s question, you would definitely be best served moving somewhere more rural to adopt a mudbray, though even then you’d be facing some risks.

Despite only standing at just a little over three feet tall, mudbrays weigh a staggering two-hundred and forty-two pounds! Their relatively small bodies pack a whole lot of power, allowing mudbrays to carry as much as twelve tons on their backs (Ultra Moon, Sword, Violet)! Despite their slow walking speed, this weight does not affect their running gait in the slightest (Sun, Violet). This, combined with the species’ notoriously stubborn and individualistic personalities (Moon), makes them quite difficult to get from one place to another especially if they are under stress due to their environment, which we will get to. Their powerful bodies also make mudbrays surprisingly dangerous; their strength makes moves like Bulldoze, High Horsepower, Heavy Slam, and Mega Kick particularly dangerous. Then there’s always Earthquake, which poses a significant safety concern when it comes to any standing structures (hence the recommendation to move somewhere more rural!). While mudbrays aren’t known to be particularly dangerous, their stubbornness and sheer power makes them a bit too much of a handful for your average owner.

And then there’s the environmental needs. On the surface, it seems like mudbrays would be pretty easy to accommodate with their peculiarly dirt-based diet (Moon, Shield). The environments they create by regurgitating this dirt as mud (Moon, Shield, Scarlet) are a little less easy to accommodate. Wild mudbrays use the mud they create both to enhance their abilities by bolstering the grip of their hooves as wells as a play space (Sun, Moon, Sword, Shield, Scarlet). In order to care for a mudbray, you would need to provide them with an open space to fill with mud and play. This mud won’t be the easiest for a human to navigate, as it has the strange property of remaining moist and sticky even in the sun for long periods of time (Scarlet), and need we even mention the mess? In addition to creating their own mud, the pokédex claims that mudbrays require daily mud showers to avoid stress (Ultra Sun).

Unfortunately, your instincts here were correct: due to their uniquely dangerous biology, glimmoras would not make very good pets. This is actually a rare case for this blog in which the reason for a pokémon’s score comes down in large part due to their Abilities, which typically take a back seat to moves and pokédex data. Let’s get into it.

To begin, glimmoras are quite large. The pokédex lists this species’ height at nearly five feet tall; being generous, we can assume this “height” stat refers to their length from front to back, which wouldn’t necessarily make them too large to fit in a home, but it certainly wouldn’t be the most comfortable for them. Thankfully, due to their ability to levitate through the air, their weight at nearly a hundred pounds isn’t too big of an issue. As far as their environment goes, the pokédex doesn’t list any particular needs to account for other than social needs.

In the wild, glimmoras live alongside their related glimmers in order to cooperate in repelling threats (Legends: Z-A). In order to ensure that a glimmora feels safe and secure, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to adopt one alongside another glimmoras or glimmet…well, it would be a bad idea to adopt them in general, but I think you know what I mean. All of this is rendered pretty unimportant when it comes to just how dangerous these pokémon are.

Glimmoras defend themselves through two distinct means. For one, when faced with a perceived threat, they can open their crystal petals to fire beams of energy in moves like Power Gem (Scarlet). Their ability to fire such concentrated beams of energy seems to come from these crystalline petals themselves, which like the Tera Jewels they resemble channel poisonous energy (Violet). In addition to these ranged attacks, glimmoras have the devastating Toxic Debris Ability and Corrosion Hidden Ability. Glimmoras with the Toxic Debris Ability scatter toxic shards of their poisonous crystals when taking any physical damages: this makes accidents around the house a serious hazard for all other people and pokémon living there. Corrosion is even more of a concerning factor: glimmoras with this Hidden Ability posses poison so powerful, it cannot be mitigated with materials like steel and can affect even Poison-Type pokémon otherwise immune to biotoxins. This means that, in these cases, there isn’t much one could do to protect themselves from their glimmora’s poison, even with top-op-the-line biohazard equipment. This makes moves like Acid Spray, Venoshock, and Sludge Wave even more dangerous than they would be otherwise. And this is all before mentioning that, like many other Rock-Type pokémon, they are capable of using the potentially deadly move Self-Destruct!

For our first post of the new year, we must determine: Would a drifblim be a good pet? Uhhhh…no. Yeah, a drifblim would not make a good pet for several reasons, the primary of which is pretty well known. Unless you’re planning on living an aimless, nomadic lifestyle, a drifblim will not be the right pet for you.

To begin with, these pokémon are pretty big, even though they weigh only about thirty-three pounds. Coming in at almost four feet tall with a balloon-like proportional width, a drifblim is pretty voluminous, to the point where it might be difficult to provide them with enough room in your home to float around without bumping into things all the time. This is a pokémon that you’re going to need to keep outside which, while not exactly a dealbreaker, makes drifblims essentially impossible to care for in one single place.

While they are usually pretty sleepy and dormant during the day, at dusk drifblims catch the wind and fly off together, wherever it may take them (Diamond, Platinum). They don’t travel anywhere in particular, and can end up pretty much anywhere that the wind takes them (Pearl, Black2/White2). According to the pokédex, when a drifblim is spotted in this state, they “suddenly vanish”, though it isn’t clear if this means they turn invisible, float away, or simply disappear altogether (Platinum, Black/White, Moon). The most concerning thing about drifblims is their noted history of taking humans and pokémon with them on their journeys using their ability to generate and release gas to increase their altitude quickly (Scarlet), several of whose have never been found again (Sun, Shield, Violet). Some even say that these unfortunate passengers are shuttled right off to the afterlife (Ultra Sun), and that they themselves are composed of regretful departed souls (Sword), though these are merely rumors. Altogether, this makes a drifblim a pretty dangerous pokémon to keep around not just for yourself, but others living around you. Unless you plan to tie your drifblim down, a potentially distressing solution that I do not recommend, keeping a drifblim from flying off with one person or another is going to be quite difficult, and most likely not worth the risks involved.

In addition to this problematic behavior, drifblim are pretty dangerous in plenty of other ways. In addition to your standard Ghost-Type moves like Shadow Ball and Hex, drifblims can use the moves Self-Destruct and Explosion, which can both deal a pretty dangerous blow to anybody nearby. We don’t have any solid indication of aggression from these pokémon, thankfully, but these moves certainly don’t help their score.

While bounsweets and steenees might make good pets, this final evolution is definitely one to avoid in most contexts. Powerful and violent despite their unassuming appearance, tsareenas would not make a good pet for anyone but the most dedicated caretakers.

The first point against tsareenas is their size. These pokémon stand at nearly four feet tall and weigh nearly fifty pounds. While this wouldn’t necessarily mean that they wouldn’t be able to fit inside a home or anything like that, this size makes their aggression all that more of a concern. Tsareenas are known to have an aggressive personality, taking great joy in causing pain to others (Sun, Ultra Moon, Sword). Using moves like Trop Kick, Stomp, and High Jump Kick, one blow from their powerful legs can not only “knock out even kickboxing champions with a single blow” (Ultra Sun), it leaves a “wound in the opponent’s body and soul that will never heal” (Shield). While this may not always be lethal, this is simply a terrible temperament for a pet. It is said that a tsareena can be calmed quickly by touching their crown (Scarlet), but considering their size and speed, doing so without being harmed is going to be beyond the means of many potential owners.

In a not altogether surprising, but nonetheless disappointing, turn of events, a simisear would not make a good house pet. This is the fate, as you’ve no doubt noticed, of many Fire-Type pokémon on this blog, with their biology that presents a constant threat of house fires and burns, making them rather ill-fitted for domestic life. There’s not a lot of behavioral information to go off of for this species, but let’s get into it.

At just over three feet tall and sixty-one pounds, simisears are far from too large to be house pets. As an added bonus, they aren’t particular about their environment, meaning that adapting your home for them (fire hazards aside) will be a breeze. While the pokédex does not specify simisears’ typical diet in the wild, it does make it very clear that they are quite fond of sweets (Black, Black2/White2, Y, Alpha Sapphire, Legends: Z-A). Given the abundance of sweets available to us in our modern world, accommodating a simisear’s sweet tooth should be pretty easy, provided it’s done in moderation for the pokémon’s health. This species’ affinity for sweets is a great sign for behavior management in general; such food-motivated pokémon are likely going to be pretty easy to train and build a bond with. So far, so good.

The problem, as is the case with many Fire-Type pokémon, comes from their likelihood of starting house- and/or wildfires by accident. Considering their moveset, simisears can be quite dangerous with moves like Fire Spin, Flame Wheel, and Fire Blast, each of which could cause serious harm to you and your environment. Thankfully, though we must always keep this risk in mind, this pokémon’s predicted high receptivity to training due to their love of treats somewhat negates the risk of an outright, purposeful attack. What I’m much more concerned about when it comes to this pokémon is fire-starting accidents. While simisears are not a constant source of open flame themselves, they are capable of expelling sparks from their head and tail generated by flames within their body, which appears to be fueled by sugar (Black, White, X, Omega Ruby). This phenomenon occurs both consciously, in the case of an attack, and unconsciously as a natural result of excitement (Black2/White2, Y, Alpha Sapphire, Legends: Z-A). While one may be able to manage this through a low-sugar diet, I can’t really recommend this tactic without more discussion with a specialized veterinarian, as I am unsure how such a diet may affect a simisear’s long-term health: I would be willing to wager that this species has evolved to run on such a diet for their self-defense.