POWDER’S MENTAL INSTABILITY: AN ARCANE ANALYSIS
Hey! So this is kind of my first analysis post, hence the messiness. I may have missed out on some things, so I am definitely open for discussion! Powder/Jinx is certainly complex and nearly impossible to pin down entirely, but in this post I try to cover up her insanity starting from a young age, and how that plays into her relationships with the two most important people in her life, as well as her own identity. Note that my separation of Powder and Jinx is not to identify them as different personalities or people, but to more easily access different parts of her life.
EARLY SIGNS OF POWDER’S INITIAL INSANITY
Her parent’s death caused her immediate abandon issues. In the first scene there were already signs of her “glitches” which occur when she suffers a mental breakdown of sorts, or breaks. It is in this scene where she clings to Vi.
The violence constantly surrounding her from then caused her to make bombs and weapons and thus be elated whenever the chance of them working appears, which shows her interest in causing harm while also her wanting her things to work so she could be helpful. Though it is likely mainly to be seen as helpful and a contributing member to her group.
Giving her bombs and weapons names and drawing on them - both to give them an identity due to her loneliness and “otherness” (which Vi confirms when saying, “what makes you different makes you strong”) and to leave her mark on her own creations.
Her constantly trying to live up to Vi’s expectations of her being ready so that she can have her favorite person (Vi) validate her. Hence her excitement and “high” when the bomb exploded, and her happiness when telling Vi her bomb worked; she naively hoped for things to be okay, and for the group (especially Vi) to deem her worthy, because she can’t find her own worth in herself.
Continuation of point above; Her unhealthy clinging to her older sister, who she parentified (hugging Vi immediately when she returned in shock after Benzo died, constantly needing to be near Vi, her meltdown when Vi left her alone)
Her meltdown (first one we see) reveals/intensifies a few things about her:
When Vi tells Powder that she is not ready, she feels useless. Prior to this moment, Vi has told her constantly that she was ready for missions when she hasn’t truly been ready. This, in Powder’s already fragile mind, leaves implications of Vi, her favorite person, viewing her as incapable. Because she is not ready, that means she cannot help; because she is not ready, that means she is not important enough to help the group. The group (Mylo) that calls her a jinx - which is also her family.
Her inability to be left alone
This scene expresses Powder’s wails and most of all, her anger and desire to get out of her own body, possibly from self hate; we see her throw her bomb out of anger - her bombs are an extension of her, and they don’t work. And that is why she is not helpful, and because of this she truly believes she has let Vi down - and to her, letting Vi down is a risk of her image being marred and Vi’s love for her not being her priority. This further pressed into Powder’s mind her anger toward herself and her inabilities. In a fit of hysterics, she nearly tossed the sack which contained the Hex-Tech crystals - which brings to her an idea.
Powder stops crying as soon as she connects the crystals to the explosion and realizes that she can help; her entire meltdown was about her inability to help. She ends up to where Vi and co are, and sees Vi struggling against a mutant creature of sorts. With worry for her family, she sets the bomb with three crystals, unaware of their power.
THE RELENTLESS WANT TO BE HELPFUL
The yearning to be helpful is what led to her undoing; because Powder loathed herself so much and viewed herself truly incapable, she added an external source to her bomb. In the pursuit of trying to be helpful, she killed her family with Vi (appearing) to hate her for it. The one person she looked up to and did not want to disappointed slapped her and affirmed her worst insecurities of being a Jinx — and then (in her eyes) abandoned her. And Powder cannot be alone: That is why when Silco appears, she lunges into him with a hug without even knowing who he is - because not only did she need comfort, she also needed to know that she was loved despite her irredeemable actions. Because when she repeated in a hysterical stupor that she only wanted to help - she wanted to regain Vi’s love. When Vi seemingly did not love her anymore, Powder was angry, feeling her emotions at extremes rather than on a wider scale.
“She left me. She is not my sister anymore.”
Powder cannot live if she is not loved.
Even during the time-skip we see Jinx constantly doing everything she can to help Silco - because she cannot exist as her own person. Her existence has to be dependent on someone else and their approval - and so she molds herself into a terrorist and murderer not only to cope, but also to be sure of Silco’s love for her. Her desire to be seen and acknowledged and not ignored is the very reason she has a logo for her weaponry and crime scenes.
We are introduced to a completely different person in Act Two. Not Powder, but Jinx. In an effort to not associate herself with her most traumatic memory, she removes herself from Powder, because Powder was weak. Powder was the one who ruined her family - and most of all, Vi hates Powder. By assuming the role as Jinx as a persona, she manifests herself as the last thing Vi called her; what she has been told she was and eventually internalized was an identity she used to cover her weakened Powder. She purposefully brought misfortune rather than despise it like Powder would. She used it to be her strength, as she said to Vi in the final episode: “Silco thinks he made Jinx, but he didn’t. You did.” This could be interpreted in multiple ways, which I believe the writers did intentionally; Jinx is blaming Vi, but the context surrounding this sentence is imperative to note. Silco thinks Jinx is perfect. Jinx is stronger, which is why she happily accepts that identity. She essentially is saying that Vi was the cause of Jinx. Jinx, who is stronger and capable. But also Jinx, who is always abandoned, causes misfortune to everyone around her, and cannot trust.
“Your voice, pushing me. Picking me up, when all the colors were black. You’re the reason I’m still alive.”
This scene is beautiful. Two sisters torn apart nearly to the point of no return as they stand on completely opposite sides, yet they are still sisters nonetheless. They are each other’s force. Based on this scene, Powder’s dependency on Vi prior to episode nine did not waver. She was still dependent on an image of Vi to keep living. Even with Silco, who she clung onto with desperation, was not entirely the person Jinx truly depended on until she heard his dying word’s to her, as a Father.
He does not mention Powder nor Jinx - he simply says to whoever she chooses to be, that she is perfect. And although it is the furthest from the truth, Jinx in that moment got what she always wanted: to be loved, unconditionally. By affirming her perfection even in his death, he denies Jinx to doubt the consequences of her murderous tendencies. By that point, she no longer has any figure to latch upon. She believes her and Vi have changed too much to love each other like they once did, and she killed her father again. She is a jinx, and instead of simply posing a persona she truly embraces her curse of misfortune. She shows her sister, Zaun, and Piltover such when she shoots toward the council room.
“We’ll show them. We will show them all.” Those are the words she hears when she waged war against Piltover when peace nearly emerged. She jinxed it, but this time it does not bother her as it used to because it is who she is. She is perfect, now, because she is a Jinx.
WHAT CAUSED HER TRANSFORMATION?
Powder’s transformation to Jinx was a result of the accumulation of her trauma, but I will focus on the two roots regarding Jinx (Silco and Vi). It is my own opinion that while Vi did cause Powder to truly see herself as a Jinx, it was Silco who culminated all Jinx is; her insanity was enabled by him, through his lack of holding Jinx accountable for her actions or teaching her how to cope properly. Many people that I’ve seen tend to deny Silco’s abuse toward Powder. For starters, I’ll briefly explain Silco’s own morality.
Silco is introduced as a man with an ominous eye, preparing shimmer with Singed; he is cunning and precise with his words and easily manipulates his lesser goons. He is driven by determination to achieve his goals, no matter the costs. He has no issues harming children, both prior to adopting Powder and even afterwards, as he fully intended on killing Vander’s kids, used child labor for shimmer production, and had no problem killing children.
In Jinx’s diary from the council archives, she details disturbing thoughts and there is scarce information of her during her pubescence under Silco’s care.
• “Silco says take care of ██████████
• I took care alright, Me and Fishbones
• Fishbones was in the mood to blow something up
• Now I'm taken care of too - the nice kind of taken care of
• “Lined up all the little duckies in a row
• Why did they look so sad?
• They'll be together after
• Wherever people after go
• Everyone I've taken care of
It can be concluded that Silco had Powder/Jinx carry out missions such as these - by Powder saying “he trusts me”, she means him believing her to be helpful. That he trusts her to not be a screw up. It is also apparent that, while she carries out these murders, she is clearly haunted by them. But she does them, because she desperately seeks approval and if she isn’t helpful to Silco, she believes he’ll abandon her.
Directly following the aforementioned diary entry is this one:
• YOU'RE A JINX JINX JINX
As mentioned before, she was clearly initially uncomfortable and disgusted with her actions, to the point where she had Vi resurface, calling her a jinx. She believes that Vi would be extremely disgusted with her actions but she does it because it is the only way for her to survive through her abandonment issues in a new place where she does not have her sister, her maternal figure; Vi.
When Silco finds a crying Powder and learns that she has been abandoned, his sympathy kicks in and he projects himself onto her. By doing so, he also projects Vander onto Vi and teaches Jinx how to cope the way he knows best - using it for strength.
But Silco carried no guilt. He did not kill his entire family whereas Jinx did - which is why she still struggled with her hallucinations and with moving on. Because in order for Jinx to truly move on, she would have to confront her trauma head on and accept what happened that night. But that is not what happens, because Silco is projecting onto Jinx and telling her what he knows best. To be like him, rather than better than him.
He teaches her that everyone will abandon and betray her, that it will only be the two of them. Not only is he isolating her, but he is strengthening her worst fears in his favor (whether intentional or not) to have Jinx dependent on him. Out of fear for losing Jinx but spite for Vi, he allows Jinx to believe that Vi truly is dead even after he finds out that she is alive. Instead, he tries to kill her. He gives her everything she wants, she faces no consequences, and he enables her worst behaviors while also being the cause of them, thus proving that Jinx is Jinx (chaotic etc) not solely because of Vi, but mainly from Silco. And she only truly embraces Jinx as who she is rather than a front when Silco dies.
I can only speculate that her hallucinations may continue in season two. If so, I would consider that to be what Jinx depends on - as she is seen in game speaking to her weapons.
Although I do not hold the most positive feelings for this character, I do greatly admire the depth she has. I admittedly struggled with connecting with Powder/Jinx while connecting with Vi more, but I did not allow that blind me from appreciating the amazing writing of her character and I still can’t help but wish things had ended out differently.
Hope this was coherent! I wrote this in a stream of consciousness style at 1 am and made some minor revisions. It may not be the most coherent analysis but I wanted to write my thoughts on Powder/Jinx’s mental state.
