The fibro is flaring and I just want to like shut off my body. The pain in my shoulders and neck was so unbearable today that I was in fight or flight most of the day, just adrenaline dumping over and over again. I hate the way it makes me feel like my body is against me. I get anxiety every time I make plans. I'm worried I'll flare up and have to lay down on the ground, or vomit, or faint, or leave. Honestly the worst is when it happens around people that don't know what's happening to you and you have to explain how they can help while your vision and hearing fade in and out. I hate feeling like I'm spoiling the fun because of my illness. The closer it gets to June the more afraid I am that this bullshit will fuck up my wedding. Sorry everyone I'm just really sick and sad today.
