#postiveselftalk

Guys, I think I could be pansexual!!! I'm going to talk to my therapist next week about it. I mean I really AM attracted to trans both male and female folks and non-binary folks so yeah. Wish me the best outcome with this new discovery!!! :D

I realized last night that I would rather be unlabeled when it comes to my sexuality and just been seen as queer. I hope you guys understand. Happy Pride, everyone!

I'm...I'm actually surprised at what happened today. I had a good day. I feel at peace with myself and the joy I feel seeps deep into my bones, my body, my heart, my mind, and my soul. I'm grateful when my therapist told me thank you for writing her the letter I wrote to her. I'm grateful I am still breathing and my heart is still beating. I'm grateful that i got to have the conversation with my therapist that I did no matter how embarrassed I might have felt at first or how nervous I was. I'm grateful...I'm grateful to still be alive. To be who I am in the present moment. Especially to realize that I am demisexual and still being a lesbian with that too is wonderful. I can't wait until I find another woman who respects my wants and needs out of an relationship. I just feel joy throughout my entire being. And that's something worthwhile to celebrate.

I'm grieving over an ex-friend. I'm grieving and that's okay. I'll probably make a more detailed post about this sometime soon. I just thought i would get some of what I am thinking about the grief right now off my chest. I did talk to my therapist about it and I had to bring it up quickly because we were near the end of my session with her for today. I just...wish I could talk to more people about it. I haven't told my best friend about it. I think she would try to understand but I am still uncertain about how she'll react to it because I'm not sure she knew I was friends with this person for a while. I feel comfortable talking with my best friend about it, but I'm still nervous about it. I just hope she understands...Hopefully she will. The worst case scenario is that she doesn't know who I am talking about unless I explain how I feel and the past friendship in depth which might hurt me to tell my best friend about the friendship because it's still very personal to me especially now that I am grieving over the friendship. The grief and the guilt I feel hurts deeply and the one thing I can do to try to keep myself together is practice my coping skills. I've been listening to a lot more music to help calm myself in times of anxiety and stress. I have also been singing along to most of the songs I listen to as long as they have lyrics. I just hope something good comes out of all of this. I've already learned a lot about myself already and I hope I will never stop learning more about myself. Maybe one day i will be at peace and it doesn't have to be today. I have time and time eventually heals everything including me.

I am a trans man and my chosen name is Cody! 😇🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

Guys, GUYS!!! I have a BOYFRIEND now!!! His name is Eliza and he's so sweet and kind. I WON!!! I FINALLY BEAT THE ODDS!!! :D