#posting from drafts

Like we get to know here as she is going through the worst mind fuckery ever. A lot of her worst stunts are instigated by compulsion. Like with the necklace, she literally is compelled to get away from Bonnie, and is doing everything in her power to get it. Sure Caroline gets super bitchy about it and then attempts to steal it, but she is under compulsion.

She again keeps having her memories overlapping, missing, coming back, she is missing time, and also likely feeling the stress chemicals her body is producing in the situations when her life is on the line or she is unable to follow a compulsion order.

We know she is made to like Damon, to let him in, her comment to her mom when she was chastised about being with a guy older than her was rude as hell, but she was also compelled to be his date, to be with him, to get him in the event, and so instant defensiveness.

Of course, this is still Caroline, and Caroline would say a lot of that stuff, but she is also not her self and doing stuff she wouldn’t do.

And even with Damon unable to compel her, a lot of the trauma has not left her. He compelled her to feel shallow and useless. Compulsion is an order in the moment to do or feel something, but the thoughts she likely had built off of that and used to persuade herself they were true are hers and stuck with her. Even when the compulsion wore off, it still had side effects on her psyche. Becoming a vampire didn’t cure the trauma of that. Which we all know and address, but not enough people address that her solo actions in season one were often not completely hers!

Of course there is the caveat of episode one, which we do get a pretty clear picture of Caroline is before Damon and before vampirism.

In Bonnie and Caroline’s episode one conversation at the MG, Caroline was drunk. She is a canonical sad drunk, and she tends to speak her mind a lot more under the influence. She acts so differently drunk when sober which is kinda hard to see because everyone is always drunk in this show. Most of her most self loathing moments have only voiced themselves out loud when she is drunk. Another thing is that Bonnie seemed pretty surprised by stuff Caroline said during their conversation. She seemed to know of Caroline’s insecurities about Elena, but was overall not expecting the extent of it, which means these are fairly new insecurities.

Also episode one, the establishing scene of Caroline is definitely meant to establish Caroline as a shallow popular girl without much tact. And it’s really easy to see it as the that. But I often find this moment odd, and mostly because Caroline is one of Elena’s best friends. The show really hammers in to the veiwers that Caroline, Bonnie, and Elena have been a unit since early primary school. That they are ✨besties ✨🤞🤞🫶™️

But! Caroline is asking how Elena is doing. Then she asks Bonnie how Elena is doing! They hug like they haven’t spoken or seen each other in a long time.

Elena likely didn’t speak to Caroline much at all between May to September.

I would like to remind you all they are next door neighbors. That’s a canonical detail.

And of course, Elena was grieving, we know she became a bit of a shut in. All very forgivable and understandable. But we also know Elena did keep up with Bonnie over the summer. So in the hardest time of Elena’s life Caroline was aware that Bonnie was who she wanted. Which again, Elena is valid for that, and I want to seriously preface this is not a post bashing Elena. But I do think Caroline is valid to be hurt by this, and it really does provide an example of how she doesn’t feel chosen.

Caroline is a genuinely loyal person. It’s one of her defining characteristic (and I think Caroline becomes loyal to people very quickly, and her drama is usually instigated by the fact she is loyal to multiple people on different sides) and she is typically very die hard for those she cares about. Sometimes to die hard. But she her desperation for love causes her to obsess over her friendships/relationships a bit. That said I think she felt seriously sidelined that summer, by both Elena and Bonnie, when her mom was always working and she didn’t have school to keep her self busy with, and she probably was trying really hard not to bombard Elena too much. And she likely was trying so hard to be sensitive to the situation she circled back to insensitive. Like maybe she tried to plan a distraction for Elena and it was shut down, and Caroline felt terrible.

Like I totally expect Caroline to be like: “let’s go on a roadtrip, to distract you, it any help!”

Bonnie: “I don’t know Care, Elena isn’t ready to be in a car for that long. And I know it’s hard for you, but you are going to have to let Elena adjust. You can’t control grief.”

Caroline: “I guess a roadtrip is a bad idea. Well, we could have a picnic and I can make—”

Bonnie: “Just give her space Care. That’s what is best for her I think.”

And in this hypothetical situation, I totally agree with Bonnie. But I can imagine Caroline feeling more alone than ever. This is not to undermine Elena’s grief, or Elena needing Bonnie over Caroline, but to simply explain that Caroline likely went through this. She probably got in a habit of asking about Elena through Bonnie. She likely felt more distant than ever from Elena, who was asking colder to her. And I think she was suddenly drunk and feeling mad, and bitter, and let’s be real we know it wasn’t completely about Elena always getting chosen, but rather Caroline feeling like she is never chosen, and she brought that anger and envy to relationships because she subconsciously knew that she didn’t want to reveal that she was hurt by the Elena grieved.

Anywho that is my season one Caroline analysis