#posting arc

aka dark side!roman but not apathy or pride because—  

apathy is a lack of all emotions, and i feel like dark!roman would be the exact opposite of that; not shutting down, but going a bit Feral (As A Treat)

not pride because i feel that dark!roman’s emotions would all be magnified, and ngl i don’t think he has much pride At All in his littol him

(side note: this is not to hate on either of those headcannons/aus/idk-what-else-to-call them, simply an idea for my own favorite version of dark!roman)

as alluded to in both of those points, my idea of dark!roman is him going just a bit Feral/all his emotions boiling over (because like patton and logan, he deals with a fair bit of repression himself, doesn’t he?)

(and what does he repress more than his own ambitions?)

not to mention, ambition is just another word for hopes and dreams with less pleasant connotation and that is just,,, *chef’s kiss* poetic cinema, y’all

now, why ambition? (I’m So Glad You Asked)

to start, there’s the last bullet point just up there, but not to worry, there’s So Much More

roman has ambition, even as a light side. he wants things, and what is ambition if not wanting?

(specifically, it’s defined as either “a strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work” or “desire and determination to achieve success,” and if that doesn’t simply scream roman, i don’t know what does)

(again, specifically, the call back comes to mind as an example, but i’ll get there in a moment Several Moments)

he doesn’t refer to this as ambition, obviously, because ambition tends to have a negative connotation, and roman’s a good person, isn’t he? he’d prefer to call it hopes and dreams, because what sounds more lovely than that?

(see fitting in for roman’s disdain of slytherin, a house that’s well known for having ambition as one of its main traits (and a house that roman, despite his protests, fits into shockingly well—perhaps better even than gryffindor—but that’s a Whole Different Thing))

point is, though: roman has ambitions. he’s ambitious, though unless pressed (as i believe he was by logan in fitting in? i don’t quite remember but even if he wasn’t,,, my original point still stands), he wouldn’t use the word to describe himself

now, ambition isn’t necessarily a dark trait. but that’s part of the point, i think. roman views it as dark, so in his mind, it is dark. 

and in his mind, he is also dark.

there’s more to be said about that last point, but there is so much to be said about that last point and this is already getting Exceedingly Long with my rambling so,, i’ll leave that as it is for now *cough* and if u want to know more about this,, please ask i have. So Many Thoughts. *cough*

(now, if it were up to me, a storyline of him becoming ambition would end with him realizing that no side is strictly good or evil, just like being ambitious isn’t strictly a bad thing to be. roman realizing that even in becoming a “dark side,” he was never truly dark would just be,,,,,, *chef’s kiss* poetic cinema i say this as though i Don’t plan to write a fic that deals with Exactly that and this post Isn’t just because i Desperately need to yell about ambition!roman Right The Hell Now alsdfjslak)

OKAY BACK TO THE POINT AGAIN— 

roman became dark!roman because he put too much of his identity into being good and pure and perfect all the time. and that’s. exhausting.

so while i can see him becoming something like apathy!roman because of that, what i believe to be the Final Straw makes me believe ambition!roman would make just,,,, So Much Sense

what’s the final straw, you ask?

janus.

to elaborate: when janus said he made the wrong choice about the call back (told ya i was gonna get back to that eventually *finger guns*)

now. i haven’t rewatched pof yet because,,, Pain(TM) so i don’t remember exactly how that conversation went, but as long as i’m not Horribly Wrong here, janus did tell roman that he just. Failed(TM) in making thomas go to the wedding.

and what did roman have to go against to make thomas go to the wedding?

✨his own ambitions.✨

so… i can easily see roman pushing back against his own failings by taking the ambitions that he’d been ignoring before and just… pushing them to the extreme.

there’s more nuance here, but… by this bullet point i’m already over 800 words and i’m Not Done Yet sO see my previous plea for asks if u want to know more

hence, he becomes ambition!roman

(anyway i lost my train of thought here and i Know i had. Several More Points but i lost those to the depths of my brain too :( 

so just,, take a few more short things that i want to mention)

this was all entirely inspired by listening to the song everything i wanted by billie eilish and wanting to write a fic based on it but realizing i wasn’t super attached to any of the current dark!roman iterations i’m familiar with

i don’t? believe? i’ve seen any posts about an ambition!roman but any exist i’m begging you to let me see it’s Required By Law

another note: when i decided i wanted to come up with a new version of dark!roman i knew i still want to keep his inherent… romanness, for lack of a better word, even as i made him a “dark side,” and with roman already being ambitious, i just think,,, it fits So Wonderfully

also. the title everything i wanted lends itself Very Well ambition!roman so i  feel like that also played at least a subconscious role in my decision

finally: i mentioned it before, but i have Several More Thoughts about this so if i ever remember any of them they Will be reblogged as additions onto this post also ideas are moving faster than words in my head rn so i have No Idea if i even expressed all of the thoughts here adequately but no i don’t think i will proofread this <3

if you’ve read this all the way through,,,,, thank u for your time, stan ambition!roman, good night <3<3<3

other ambition!roman things (will likely continue to be updated):

aforementioned nuance in roman pushing his ambitions to the extreme

✨the aftermath✨