#post-operation

On Sunday, I got my period for the first time since surgery. Prior to that, I was feeling confident and comfortable in my body - my chest was flat, I wasn’t in pain, everything was good. I was feeling an incredible amount of gender euphoria for the first time in a long time. So much so, that I considered not going on testosterone because the body I had finally felt like my own.

But, now that I have my period again, I’m in this weird limbo. Getting it was a reminder that stuff was still happening down there. Like, I really felt good about my top half, how it looked and felt, and having surgery definitely relieved a ton of dysphoria but having the two together, a flat chest and a period, confused my head in a way.

As of Wednesday, July 9th, I am one week post-op. and doing really well!

I had my first post-op. appointment on Monday. The physician’s assistant removed the bandages, the drains, and the nipple stents. It did not hurt at all getting my drains removed; only when she cut the stitches that held them in place. It honestly feels like something moving inside of you because, I mean, that’s exactly what’s happening as they take them out. It’s a really weird sensation but it’s over quick, so, you forget it even happened.

I got to see my chest in the mirror for a quick second before my surgeon had to give it a look. There was a small clot on the outside of my left nipple that she removed with tweezers. Unfortunately, the left nipple also started to come up on one side, so, she had to re-sew a stent over it to keep it flush to my skin, again. That was an experience, hahah. She didn’t numb me beforehand, just, did it. But it didn’t hurt more than a pinch and it took about a minute. I got wrapped in another Ace which I am not to take off. It’s driving me crazy - not only is it tight but I haven’t really gotten to appreciate my chest.

Right, so, I was told to arrive at the hospital at 6:00 in the morning. I took a shower the night before with some special anti-bacterial soap that they recommend because it reduces the risk of infection. So, in the morning, all I had to do was get dressed and go. I was not allowed to eat or drink anything after midnight to minimize risk during anesthesia. This was honestly the hardest part because I’m always hungry, hahah. 

Anyway, I got dropped off at the hospital at like, 5:45. I was told to wait in the lobby until they were ready to start my bloodwork. They gave me the hospital band, I gave ‘em the check, and we were off to the suite to get ready. They had me change into a gown and a robe. I was given a warm blanket to cover up and sit in a recliner until they were ready for me. 

Not even 10 min. later, the nurse came in to let me know that the surgeon was ready, so, we headed up to a sort of pre-op. room with cots. That’s where I was given compression “stockings” and asked a ton of questions by like, ten different people, but they were all generally the same, so. 

The anesthetic team came over and got me all suited up for surgery. I was given a drip of some sort and a pain killer or relaxant that I cannot remember the name of; they also gave me an anti-nausea patch behind my ear which was lit. I started to feel dizzy and little out of it soon after.

They wheeled me in to the operating room, had me shimmy onto an operating table and one of the nurses put the mask over my face and said it was “just a bit of oxygen.” That’s literally the last thing I remember. He didn’t count me down, just placed it there and let it chill, which honestly, was fine with me. I probably would have fought it if he counted. The next thing I know, I’m waking up in recovery - I was super groggy, but aware of what was going on around me. I remember having someone take the oxygen tubes away from around my face and getting sensor pads removed from my shoulder. The nurse also removed the drip. I was only in recovery for about an hour, just so that they could keep an eye on me, and make sure everything was all good. I was in a little bit of pain but it wasn’t unbearable. It just felt like I had cuts on my chest, which, I did.

And then you wake up in another room and three hours have passed

While with falling asleep there's an awareness that you were asleep when you wake up, but the sedation wake up doesn't have that?? It just feels like lost time as opposed to sleep, if that makes sense

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