Anger Born of Worry | Punching the Wall | Headache
Set after Finn's Breakdown
As Finn slowly came to, the pain in his head only grew worse. It wasn’t the pain of a seizure, but of a breakdown, of crying so hard he couldn’t breathe, backed into a corner with no other way out. There was a heaviness to his thoughts too, and he caught himself drifting a few more times before he forced himself awake, managing to fight against it. The haze was familiar, the sedation leaving its mark on him. He groaned quietly, stretching out as he shuffled in the bed. His muscles immediately protested, screaming in pain. Maybe he had had a seizure then, but he was sure he could remember it all, there was no time missing and his tongue wasn't bitten either. The bruises starting to appear on his arms finally clued him in, the memories deciding to cause an avalanche. Fuck.
The mug had just been the straw that broke the camel's back, the distress he'd shown to others only the tip of the iceberg. It had only been a matter of time before he snapped, but he'd not expected it to feel so violent, or for it to take as much out of him.Â
Fao kept a close eye on Finn, making sure he was settled with the sedation. It took a while until he was happy to stop it, but finally he was sure Finn had rested enough and was settled, he let him come out of it.Â
As Finn stretched out with a groan, Fao looked up from his book. “Hey, sleepyhead. How are you feeling?”
Finn jumped, startling at Fao. "Oh. Hi."
“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”
"Been here long?"
“Me?”
Finn nodded, still not entirely with it.Â
“Yeah, I’ve been keeping an eye on you.”
"Oh. Cool."
“How are you feeling?”
"My head hurts."
Fao frowned sympathetically. “You’ve been through it, I’m not surprised.”
"Can we chop it off?"
“Chop off your head?”
"Yeah."
“That’s not gonna go so well.”
"Oh. No?"
“No, definitely not.”
"How's mum?"Â Â
“Worried about you, I think.”
"I'm okay." He murmured, though wasn't confident himself. "I feel like my head exploded and then got shoved back in my skull."
“I’ll get you some painkillers.”
"Thanks."
“What do you need?”
"Lion."
“I can go get Lion. But what meds? Migraine?”
"No, my head hurts."
Fao hummed. “Alright, I’ll get you something.”
He snuggled back down. "'kay."
Fao stood up, putting his book down on the side. “Won’t be long.”
He'd barely left before Finn called out. "Fao?"
Fao stopped, turning back. “Yeah?”
"I want a hug."
“Meds then hug, yeah?”
His lip wobbled. "I just wanted a hug."
“Hug now then.” Fao said softly, moving back to Finn to hug him gently.Â
Finn didn't want to let go, arms wrapped around his brother. "Stay."
“You wanted meds for your headache.”
"And a hug."
“Alright.”
"I feel shit."
“God, I bet.”
"I don't want to keep doing this."
“Doing what?”
"All of it, Fao. I can't."
“With Fred and Sheila out of action it’s been hard. You had a rough time, it’s shit. But Fred’s on the mend, so’s Sheila, and you’ll be alright.”
"I don't care about that. I can't do this any more."
“I know it’s hard.”
"Whatever.Â
Fao sighed. “We’ll take a break, hmm? Go on holiday or something.”
"As if we'd be able to get away."
“Fred can suck it, we’ll go anyway.”
"We'd get done for it."
“What’s he gonna do, kick us out? He needs us.”
"Or the cops would get us."
“As if.”
He groaned. "They've done it before."Â
“When we do stupid shit. Not rent a cottage somewhere and go off the grid for a week.”
"They'd do us for benzo dealing or some shit with the amount of meds I take."
“You do actually have a prescription for those, though.”
"Do I?"
“Yeah, you do.”
"They won't care."
“Of course they’ll care.”
"They'll still do me."
“They won’t, because they can’t.”
"They'd try."
“Honestly Finn, it’ll be okay.”
"Nothing's gonna be okay." He sighed, settling back onto the bed. "And my head still hurts."
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