#post fic stuff

Buffy was standing in a cave. No - not just a cave - the cave where Spike had died. It was empty and hollow of vampires. That’s how she knew it was a dream. She had dreamed of this cave many times since Spike had died, but it had never felt this real. This felt like - a Slayer dream? She hadn’t had one of those in awhile. But that was what this had to be - it was too mystical with the magicks to not be. A figure in black and while sat where Spike had burned alive. The woman looked up at her, “Death is your gift.”

“Sorry. Did that already, got the award. Don’t plan to do it again.”

The First Slayer stood up and began to circle around Buffy pushing her closer to the edge of the cliff that fell down into the pit, where all the vampires had been kept, “Death is your gift.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know if you heard me. All that? Way behind me.”

For a moment The First Slayer said nothing. Then she moved forward just a little bit, and without much hesitation reached out and pushed Buffy down the cliff. Buffy started to scream as she tipped backwards, but it died on her lips as she only felt hard concrete come up to meet her. Connecting with solid ground. Almost like she hadn’t been pushed a few hundred feet. Almost. She stared up to find Spike with his pool-cue in hand standing above her. Her first thought was that he looked very handsome, and the next one was that this all seemed far too familiar, “Death is your art. You make it with your hands, day after day.”

Buffy stood up, “Spike?”

But he continued on as if he hadn’t heard her, “The final gasp. That look of peace. Part of you is desperate to know: What’s it like? Where does it lead you? And now you see, that’s the secret. Not the punch you didn’t throw or the kicks you didn’t land. Every Slayer… has a death wish.”

Oh my god she was getting so tired of this, “Is anyone listening to me? Or is this the ignore Buffy dream?”

“Even you.” He said looking at her.

“Nope.” She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

“The only reason you’ve lasted as long as you have is you’ve got ties to the world. Your mum, your brat of a kid sister, the Scoobies. They all tie you here. But you’re just putting off the inevitable.” She might as well let him get it all out - if this was a dream it would be over and done with at some point anyway, “Sooner or later, you’re gonna want it. And the second - the second - that happens…” He clapped her hands in front of her face startling her, she had forgotten, “You know I’ll be there. I’ll slip in… have myself a real good day.” He walked away from her, “Here endeth the lesson.” 

There was more to his speech. She remembered it. Remembered how they had fought how she had told him to leave her alone. But this was different. They were different people. She loved him, “Spike?”

She reached out to touch him but he turned to ash in her hands. Then - arms wrapped around her and she tilted her head up to look up at him. They were back in the cave again. She pulled out of his arms, “Buffy you have to wake up.” He told her. 

Wouldn’t that be lovely. Only if she could, “Thank you for that bit of advice. I’ve been trying.”

He shook his head at her, “You have to wake up.”

“Really trying here.”

If he repeated the same words again she was going to lose it, “Buffy you have to wake up.”

Buffy shot out her dream and found herself in bed. Safe. The phone was ringing. She pulled herself out of bed and shuffled into the kitchen, her brain still addled by sleep. She pulled the phone off the hook. She pressed the receiver up to her ear. For a moment there was nothing on the other end, just the sound of someone breathing softly. Then she heard someone say, “Just speak! Are all vampires emotional idiots?” It sounded like Xander.

Somehow her breath caught in her throat. There was a pressure that had built as she held onto the phone in the empty silence between her and the person on the other end. Her knuckles tightened as she waited for the drop. And then the voice on the other end of the phone said, “Hello love.”

A tear was loosened from her eye before she could stop it. With a voice already wrecked by emotion she said, “Spike?”

“It’s me pet.”