written by @dior-elkie and @kiremrem
Heiji Hattori and Shinichi Kudo were inseparable best friends. They shared everythingāadventures, mysteries, and a passion for solving crimes that brought them closer each day. But little did Heiji know that his heart harboured feelings for Shinichi that he couldn't bear to confront.
Despite their strong bond, Heiji sensed something unspoken between Shinichi and the phantom thief, Kaito Kid. Their interactions were filled with hidden glances and unspoken words that only he seemed to notice. As days passed, his unrequited love for Shinichi deepened, becoming a weight he found difficult to bear.
He tried to distance himself, thinking it would ease the pain in his heart. But the more he pulled himself apart, the stronger his feelings tugged at him. No matter how hard he tried to ignore it, his emotions just wouldn't cooperate. He hoped some distance might lessen the intensity, yet it only seemed to light the fire within him but he couldn't shake off those growing feelings, no matter how much he wished otherwise.
One afternoon, while he was solving a murder case in his home, he took a quick break from thinking. He couldn't quite understand this case.
"If only Kudo was here," Hattori said to, particularly, no one.Ā
Just as he took a deep breath, a sudden fit of coughing seized him. He doubled over, a handkerchief pressed against his lips as he coughed up small, crimson petals. Panic surged through him, a mixture of confusion and fear gripping his heart.
Gasping for air, Heiji staggered backward, his mind racing to comprehend what was happening. The pain in his chest intensified with each cough, the sensation was like sharp thorns digging into his lungs.
āWhat.. What is this?..ā He managed to say.
He struggled to reach his computer, then opened it to search for information on whatever this was.
He finally found it and when he read through it, he couldnāt believe his eyes.
āIs this for real?..āĀ
The search results showed that what was happening to him is called the āHanahaki Diseaseā. This is a disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided attraction. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings (romantic love only), or when the victim dies. It can be cured through surgical removal, but when the infection is removed, the victim's romantic feelings and their memories of that specific person / people also disappear.
āThen is there a meaning to those flowers too?ā He seriously asked himself. He gathered all the petals and deduced that there were only four types of flowers.
āI have to figure out the names of these flowers first..ā He stood up and changed his clothes. He hurriedly went to a flower shop.
āHello, welcome to Hanafuku ! How may I help you?ā The florist approached Heiji who was panting.
Hanafuku is an actual flower shop in Osaka
When he stopped panting, he opened his left hand to show the lady the petals.
āI want to know what flowers these are.āĀ
The lady was surprised at this request but immediately regained her composure. āFollow me please.ā She led him to the cashier and asked him to put the petals on her hand and so he did.
āPlease wait one moment. If you want, you can sit over there.ā The lady politely points at the couch near the shopās entrance.
āAlright. Thank you, maāam.ā He bowed to the florist, then walked over to the couch and sat down.
A few minutes later he was called. He immediately walked up to the cashier.
"Sir, these flowersāAster, Chrysanthemum, Daisy, and Camelliaāare their names," she said, pointing to each one as she mentioned it. āDo you want me to tell you what each of them means?ā
āAster represents love and daintiness, while Pink Camellia expresses a longing for someone. Daisy symbolizes innocence and loyal love, often paired with a sense of secrecy or itās like saying *Iāll never tell*. Red Chrysanthemum conveys a direct message of I love you. Despite their unique meanings, all these flowers signify emotions associated with love, affection, and sometimes longing or desire.ā
The man listened intently, absorbing the significance behind each flower. As the florist finished her explanation, he nodded, appreciating the depth of meaning woven into the blooms he had coughed up.
āThank you for sharing that.ā He said with a gentle smile, āThose meanings are truly beautiful.ā He reached into his pocket and handed her some money.
āDonāt worry, sir. I wonāt be needing that.ā The lady said as she refused to receive the money from Heiji.
āWhy? You should take this because you took your time in figuring out what kind of flowers they are and what their meaning is. I should definitely pay you with something.ā
āSince you insist so much, good sir. How about this? If you can survive that disease, come back here. This is how you can pay me.ā
Heiji was surprised by what she said. āWait, how did you know I have a disease?ā
āAnyone who enters while clutching petals is usually suffering from the so-called Hanahaki Disease. Iāve grown quite accustomed to this scenario. So to pay me, you just have to come here after you get cured of this disease.ā
"Alright, thank you," he said, bowing as he headed to the door. Before he could leave, he heard the lady say, "Please, come back again."
As weeks passed, Heiji's condition deteriorated, marked by frequent coughing fits, letting out petals with blood. Despite the pain, he hid his suffering, pushing harder in investigations with Shinichi and sometimes Hakuba, masking the turmoil within. His forced smiles and strained laughter concealed the unspoken anguish.
Shinichi remained oblivious to Heiji's declining health, engrossed in cases. Heiji concealed his coughing fits, seeking solitude when the pain became unbearable. Tears mixed with the petals stained his hands, his unconfessed love causing unbearable agony.
In silence, Heiji endured, unwilling to disrupt their friendship. Despite his efforts, traces of blood on his handkerchief and weakening health revealed his struggle. He carried the burden alone, torn between confessing and preserving their bond, the blossoming flowers threatening to overwhelm him.
One day, Kazuha, Hattoriās childhood best friend, went to his house to visit him. She had been so worried because he hadnāt been answering their texts and calls. It seemed to her that he was distancing himself.
She heard a very painful cough and hurried to the source of the sound.
"Heiji, what's wrong?" Kazuha's voice trembled with concern as he rushed over to help him.
"It's nothing, Kazuha, just a cough," Heiji attempted to brush it off, but the petals gave away the severity of his condition.
"Don't lie to me, Heiji. I know something's not right," Kazuha insisted, her eyes filling with worry.
Taking a deep breath, Heiji confessed, "I have the hanahaki disease. I have feelings for someone, but it's unrequited."
Kazuha's heart sank. "Have you told them?"
Heiji shook his head, "I can't. They love someone else."
Tears filled Kazuha's eyes as she embraced Heiji tightly. "You can't face this alone. I'll help you through this, Heiji."
He returned her hug, finally letting go of the pain and agony he had been carrying for the past few weeks.
Timeskip to a case without Shinichi alongside him. The only people he knew there were the police investigator, Kazuha and⦠Hakuba.
After the case was solved, he felt like he was going to throw up. He covered his mouth and went to Kazuha.
āWhatās wrong, Heiji?ā
They communicated with their eyes. Kazuha worriedly looked at him and said: āLet me accompany you.ā Heiji nodded as she led him to the nearest bathroom.
Hakuba was looking at them suspiciously so he decided to follow them.
With Kazuha and Heiji, they arrived at the comfort room and Heiji immediately threw up on the sink.
āLet it all out.ā Kazuha said as she patted his back.
After he finished throwing up, the door suddenly opened. They were both startled as Hakuba walked in.
āYou have the Hanahaki Disease? Hm, thatās why you were looking so suspicious the whole day.ā
It remained quiet. Hakuba sighed and looked at Heiji seriously.
For the first time Heiji spoke, answering him.
āIf you donāt mind me asking.. How did you fall in love with him?ā
āHakuba-kun!ā Kazuha yelled and turned to her best friend, āYou donāt have to tell him.ā
Without looking at her, he shooked his head. āItās alright, Kazuha.ā
āI admired him. I saw him as a potential rival. He was my best friend . It was supposed to stay that way, I never thought that these feelings of mine would grow and develop into something else.ā He paused for a second before continuing, āRomance. Such a dangerous yet sweet game. One that is hard to decipher. One that is hard to control. Even the best detective might have a hard time solving such a mystery. To solve and give a solution.ā
"It sounds like you've gone through quite an emotional journey. Sometimes, feelings evolve unexpectedly, and navigating the complexities of romance can indeed be challenging. It seems like you're grappling with conflicting emotions and uncertainties about the nature of your relationship.ā Hakuba said and the other just nodded. āSo why not get surgery?ā
āA surgery? Why would he get one? How is it connected to Hanahaki Disease?ā Kazuha asked the blonde.
āOh? You donāt know, Kazuha-san?ā Hakuba turned to face the girl. āGetting surgery is one of the cures of this odd disease.ā
āWait, really?!ā She turned to face Heiji and grabbed his left arm. āYou should definitely get one, please! I donāt want you to die.ā
āIām sorry. But Iāve decided to let the flowers take over me.ā
āWhat?! Are you an idiot, Heiji?!ā
āIt might be because when the flowers are removed, the victim's romantic feelings and their memories of that person also disappear.ā
āThatās exactly the reason. Iām sorry, Kazuha.ā
āThink about it again, Hei." Her eyes were starting to get watery.
āListen to her, Hattori. I know weāre not really that close. But I donāt wish for you to die because of these feelings of yours.ā Hakuba crossed his arms. Heiji smiled.
āOh, how am I so lucky to have them as my friends? But unfortunately, my decision is fixed.ā He thought.
"I have thought about it since that day. Since I fell. Since I found out I have Hanahaki Disease. I wondered if I would ever get over this crush of mine for Kudo. I wondered if I should fall for someone else just so I can get rid of this disease. But I decided to not do it because I love Shinichi with all my heart, figuratively and literally." He chuckled and continued talking. "I wouldn't want to forget my love for him. I would especially not want to completely forget about him. Like, just because I need to get rid of this? It isn't really worth it. My memories of Shinichi and Shinichi, himself, are the most important."
After Heiji finished speaking, Kazuha hugged him and cried while the former patted her head.
āWhat?ā Heiji asked with a confused look on his face. His question was answered when the other opened his arms wide. Heiji laughed at the action and said, āCome here, Hakuba.ā
The three hugged while comforting one another (mainly Kazuha).
Hakuba had gathered the courage to confront Shinichi about Hattori's feelings. However, upon arriving, a bittersweet scene unfolded before his eyes.
Through the window, Hakuba witnessed Shinichi standing close to Kuroba, their gazes filled with an unspoken tenderness that spoke volumes. The way Shinichi looked at Kaito was unmistakably that of someone smitten, and deeply in love.
A pang of sadness and realization struck Hakuba. He understood at that moment that Shinichi's heart belonged to Kaito, and any attempt to intervene would only cause more heartache. With a heavy sigh, Hakuba murmured softly to himself, "Oh. I canāt save you after allā¦" The ache in his heart was evident as he whispered, "Hattoriā¦"
Knowing he couldn't interfere or change the course of unrequited love, Hakuba silently turned away, leaving without confronting Shinichi. He carried with him the weight of unspoken truths and unfulfilled hopes, feeling the pain of Hattori's unreciprocated feelings for Shinichi. With a heavy heart, he left.
Kazuha approached Heiji with the intention of discussing his situation once more.
āHeiji? Can I talk to you for a moment?ā
āOh? Sure, Kazuha. What is it?ā
āHow do I say this⦠I love you so much, platonically. You know that, right? Iāll always remember you. Even though I donāt approve of your reasoning, I canāt really stop you now, right? Youāve always been a hard-headed guy. Once you decide on something, youāll absolutely push through it even if it may cause you harm.ā She paused and reached for his arms, gripping them tightly. Heiji continued to stare at her, his worry evident in his expression. āBut is it selfish of me to force you to get surgery? I donāt want you to die. Iāve always seen you as a sibling, and I just⦠I donāt think I can live without you.ā
āI know, just⦠Please let me have this.ā She let go of his arms and hugged him. āI donāt want to let you go.ā
āIāll be here with you when I die,ā she sniffed, āI promise.ā He said as he hugged her back, patting her head to calm her down.
Kazuha held onto Heiji tightly, feeling the weight of his words sinking in. She knew he was full of determination, a trait she admired but feared in this situation. As they stood there, embracing each other, silence enveloped them. Heiji's promise echoed in her mind. A bittersweet reassurance that offered comfort and heartache at the same time.
After a while, they slowly released their embrace, both trying to compose themselves. Kazuha looked up at Heiji, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Thank you for understanding," she said softly
Heiji gently wiped away a tear from her cheek.
"I'll cherish every moment, Kazuha. And I'll make sure we have some unforgettable memories together."
With a faint smile, she nodded, trying to muster some courage.
"I'll support your decision, Heiji, even if it's hard for me. Just promise me one thing?"
Heiji nodded, his gaze fixed on hers, as he silently urged her to continue.
"Promise me you'll take care of yourself until... until the end," Kazuha said, her voice quivering.
Heiji nodded solemnly. "I promise, Kazuha."
They shared a sad look, knowing things wouldn't be easy. Kazuha turned away, trying to hide her tears as she walked off. Leaving Hattori behind, feeling heavy-hearted as he watched her leave.
Weeks turned into months, Heijiās pain increased. Each passing day seemed to be a countdown to an uncertain finale.
One fateful evening while he was engrossed in reading a book on his bed, he suddenly felt an awful pain in his chest. He then sat up and he was startled when he threw up two whole flowers.
āWhat is this..?ā He gently held the flowers in his hand and thatās when he realized, āOh, my end is near, isnāt it? I canāt believe I have no one with me when I die.ā
He sighed in relief, āThank goodness, I guess?ā
Just then, there was a knock on his door.
āOh, how can I open the door in this state?ā But despite feeling unwell, he managed to open it.
To his surprise, Shinichi and Kuroba were there.
āW-what are you doing here?ā Heiji asked, feeling the flowers rising in his throat again.
āWhat? I canāt visit my best friend?ā Shinichi lightly slapped the otherās arm.
āNo, I meanā ā He choked as he didn't know what to say.Ā
His best friend whom he has a crush on and the reason he is suffering just visited him with him.
At this point, he had a vague idea why Shinichi visited him along with Kuroba.
āRelax, Hattori. Iām just here to introduce my boyfriend.ā
āKuroba Kaito, nice to meet you. Shinichi has been telling me all about you.ā
āOh. So they finally got together huh..ā
He knew they weren't meant to be. He knew they had no chance together. He knew but stillā¦Ā
The sight of his best friend with his boyfriend hurts him more than anything. More than a thousand needles. More than this pain he is experiencing.Ā
It hurts even more than this damned Hanahaki Disease.
Shinichiās voice echoed through his ears, snapping him from his train of thoughts.
āUh sorry no. Um, I'm actually waiting for Hakuba.ā Heiji hated how he lied to his best friend but this is for the best.
āOh?ā They both raised their eyebrows. āYou have a date with him?ā Shinichi said with an obvious hint of amusement.
Heiji sighed, āItās not like that. We just have something to talk about.ā
āSure, sure.ā Shinichi smiled and Kaito chuckled.
Heiji almost coughed out petals if it werenāt for his self control.
āWell, enjoy your date then. Weāll be on our way.ā Shinichi winked at him as he proceeded to grab Kaitoās waist as they walked away.
Heiji closed the door and immediately coughed out a bunch of petals, similar to the two flowers he last threw up.
That should've been him. The person next to Shinichi. That should've been him. The one Shinichi holds dear. That should've been him. The one that Shinichi would call āhisā. That should've been him.
āFuck. I swear the world hates me so much. This wasnāt the last conversation I wished to have.ā
But fate doesn't work that way.
They weren't star crossed lovers.
They weren't āmeant-to-beā.
It wasn't supposed to be Shinichi and Heiji.
It was Shinichi and Kaito.
Slowly, he went to his room and coughed up even more petals. He could feel the flower roots reaching his lungs, making it harder for him to breathe.
āicantbreatheicantbreatheicantbreatheicantbreatheā
āIs this really the end?ā He sobbed.
His sobs got quieter and quieter as he also slowly stopped breathing.
Fate didn't let them meet to be together.
Fate let them meet to be just friends.
His last words were: āI love you, Shinichi. Please donāt forget me.ā He said as he coughed out two whole flowers. A forget-me-not and a sweet pea*.
Ultimately, from the very beginning to Heijiās end, they could only be friends.
Forget-me-not : true love memories, do not forget me
Sweet pea : blissful pleasures, goodbye, thank you for a lovely time