“she was my girl first.”
PLOT: Poppy's your best friend.
angst, hurt no comfort, one-sided
Poppy Sweeting, Sebastian Sallow, Ominis Gaunt
author's note: I'm sorry, I hurt myself with this one too
Poppy Sweeting had always been deemed weird by her peers, she always found fascination towards beasts. She always had a strong opinion, a strong voice and a strong spirit when it came to them.
She’s been teased and talked behind her back. She didn’t try to make friends anymore, she refused to, humans were cruel and they always will be. She found solace towards beasts, especially the Hippogriff she saved - Highwing. They understood her and she understood them.
Her grandmother is the only person that she confides in. Her love for beasts came from her nan, who taught her everything she knew about the magical creatures. Her parents however, were another story – they were poachers.
She despised poachers. She despises her parents, she's thankful for her nan for taking her away from them. Otherwise she'd have to deal with innocent beasts’ blood on her hands and she didn't want that.
She doesn't even want to imagine it.
In Hogwarts, she always looked forward to her class, specifically the Beasts’ Class. Her fascination made her pursue becoming a mazoologist.
Then one day she met you. The new fifth year, she thought you would be like everyone else but you were gentle with Gerald. Then you did something that sparked something within her.
You defended her and Persephone.
You defended her from the Slytherin and Ravenclaw students that mocked her.
You.
You who had gentle hands, you who went to every pen of the beasts to groom and feed them. She saw the spark in your eye and she had to contain her excitement then she surprised herself. She introduced you to Highwing and you weren't afraid, you were in awe.
You were everything.
When she told you that she was going to find information about poachers. You let her and when she asked you to help her, you accepted.
You believed in her. For the first time, she had a friend and it was you.
Strong. Reliable. You.
Of course, Poppy can’t keep you all to herself, you always had a habit of helping everyone and she didn’t mind it, not at all. When you saved Highwing and her mate from poachers with Natsai Onai, she was thankful but sometimes she wished that it was her.
You and Natty soared through the skies riding Hippogriffs. Oh, how she wished it was her with you.
She daydreams about it. She would stare into the open blue sky and imagine that she’s soaring through the skies on Hippogriffs with you.
On days where she had you all to herself, it’s always exhilarating – you were fun and kind— you were everything she hoped for a friend but why does her chest flutter every time? Why can she feel her face heat up when you’re concerned about her? Why does her heart beat a little faster when you pull her close and shield her from poachers?
Poppy Sweeting had fallen in love – she never thought that she would, she had devoted her time to beasts and finding a way to save them, devoted herself to study to become a great mazoologist. But she found herself thinking of you by her side as you both pursue the things you want in life.
It was noon, she skipped through the castle, in hopes of bumping into you. She was never like this before, she had never sought out a person’s company – the beasts were enough. Highwing was enough but ever since she met you — she would become aware of things, she would wonder about what you would think and how'd you react.
She rounded the corner when she heard a melodic sound – your laughter, her face immediately lit up as she made haste.
Her face dropped when she took in the scene before her. You were face to face with Sebastian Sallow, laughing.
Him. Of all people, you were laughing with him.
Her stomach churned when she saw just how close he was with you, he was leaning down next to your ear, his mouth moving a little too close for her comfort but it hurt more when you didn’t push him away, it hurt more when she saw your face heat up. It hurt a lot more when she saw how you looked at him – you never looked at her that way, with so much adoration.
She never noticed she halted her tracks, you just seemed so immersed and in another world with him. Like other people weren't even there. Like she wasn't even there.
“Poppy!” She snapped out of her trance when you waved at her to come over. She sucked in a breath and plastered a tight-lipped smile, her head was only turned to you when she approached.
“Hi.” Her tone was edged with irritation that she cringed when she heard her voice vibrate through her ears – she masked it with a cough and folded her hands behind her back.
“You know Sebastian, right? I mean of course you do, everyone knows everybody in this school.” You giggled and glanced at Sebastian who was looking at you with equal adoration.
Poppy’s eyes almost twitched with how giddy you sounded. Her eyes turned to the freckled brunette and gave him a nod of acknowledgement with a tight smile still plastered on her face.
“Good day, Poppy.” He nodded his head back.
“I’ve heard of your endeavors with poachers – the school loves to talk, you know how it is. I do hope you’d let me help sometime, I’d be happy to.”
No, no, you aren’t allowed – this adventure is for us only. I don’t want you to join us.
This is special to me. For us. I don’t want you to ruin it. I don't want you to take her away from me.
She was my friend first. She’s mine.
Poppy’s head swirled in panic as she thought about it, she wouldn’t be alone with you anymore. She wouldn’t be able to hold you while fighting off poachers – she wouldn’t be able to reach for your comfort and you wouldn’t be able to reach hers. Her head felt like it was underwater, she couldn't hear what you were saying but she could see you speaking to Sebastian. Please, please don’t say yes.
“I mean, we do need extra help – maybe you could join us if you aren’t busy.”
“I’ll wait for an owl then, Pet.” He cheekily grins as he grabs a hold of your hand, giving your knuckles a swift kiss before turning to leave.
Poppy quickly hid her disgust when he called you pet. You deserved a better nickname, she couldn’t believe that you’d let him call you that. You’re more than that. She was expecting that you’d be disgusted but when she looked at you – you were absolutely smitten.
“So, you and Sebastian, huh?” Poppy tried to be teasing – she tried to be her cheery self but it was hard to. It was hard to, especially with how big your smile was right now.
You hummed at first before shrugging your shoulders, “We’re just friends.”
“Friends who give each other nicknames and kiss each other’s cheeks?” She winced, her jealousy spilled from those words.
“We can do that too, if you want, there’s no harm in it.”
Her words were suddenly stuck in her throat, she felt her cheeks heat up. As if it couldn’t make her situation worse, you suddenly leaned in and gave her a quick peck on her rosy cheek. She let out a squeak, backing away from you suddenly.
Poppy held her cheek in shock, her whole face was now red, she felt the heat underneath her palm as well as the goosebumps you left.
“See, no harm in it!” You proudly say, smiling brightly at her.
You’re right – there’s no harm in it, she could use this to her advantage. To make you fall for her before anybody else does.
“O-okay!”
When she asked you to save the snidgets with her and you agreed. And during that she decided to tell her biggest secret. Her parents were poachers and instead of you turning her away like she thought you would, you didn’t.
You accepted her, told her she isn’t like her parents. Ever since that, you only grew closer, especially with how the years came by. People in school had already started a rumor and even the Professors were supportive, they wanted you to hang-out with her more because she’s a good influence and that you made her come out of her shell. Because of you, she started to talk to others too, you got her out of her fear. Out of her head.
You were both in 7th year and still inseparable.
Every morning she’d sought you out, you would both walk to class together hand-in-hand. She’d still feel shy about it but you proudly paraded her around, sometimes you’d even drag her out to what she was doing to take her to Hogsmeade, just to hang-out and talk. It was a dream come true for Poppy and you called her your best friend, which was fine. She’s okay with being your best friend for now, she’ll find the courage soon enough.
But of course, everything has to come to an end eventually – she didn’t even remember when it had happened or maybe she did. She just didn’t wanna accept it.
She just thought that she would never lose you.
It was autumn and noon that day, the sun was starting to set as she finished up with grooming Highwing, smoothing down her feathers when you came walking up to her.
“Sebastian kissed me.”
It made her heart drop, you sounded absolutely head-over-heels. She held out hope that maybe – it wasn’t what she thought it was. She gripped the brush tightly on her hand as she tried to distract herself.
“What’s the harm in it? You’re both friends – just like us except that I’m your best friend, of course.” She almost sneered the words out. Highwing noticed her distress that she started to nudge her head to Poppy’s, squawking to calm her down.
“He kissed me on the lips and told me he loved me.”
“And what did you say?”
“That I love him too.”
Poppy felt tears stinging the corner of her eyes, she bit her lip as she continued to smooth down Highwing’s feathers but her motions were quick – as if doing that would somehow stop the tears and stop her heart from shattering completely.
“Poppy, you’re still my best friend even if— even if I’m with Sebastian now. Nothing would change that, I promise, nothing will come between that.”
Poppy quietly sucked in a breath, her head slowly nodding before turning to you completely. “I know, however if you spend more time with your boyfriend, I’d have Highwing peck you.” She smiled, it didn’t reach her eyes, she could feel her throat bobbing and it hurt. A lot.
You hugged her, almost tackling her to the ground as you laughed.
She’s going to be patient – maybe you both won’t even last. She’d still be by your side and you would be too, right?
She was so wrong, it was so wrong, everything was going so wrong.
She thought it would still be the same, she thought you would still walk to class together or that you would drag her to Hogsmeade or in the Room of Requirement in the vivarium. Her safe haven, safe space, you – were all taken by Sebastian.
She’d look for you everywhere and you’d be with him, in your own little world. It’s like she didn’t even exist anymore, you just left after promising that you wouldn’t. She’s trying to be understanding – she really is. Graduation was coming after all. Will she still be able to say goodbye to you?
Time passes, she just watches you drift away more. She never tried to mend the friendship anymore, never tried to win you back or to approach you anymore. But she waited, waited for you to come back, waited for you in Hogsmeade, waited for you in the vivarium.
She kept waiting and hoping.
But you never came back.
She saw you with Sebastian, smiling so brightly, she watched you kiss him. It made her heart wrench and her stomach churn — she watched you excuse yourself from him and made your way to Professor Weasley.
Poppy took this opportunity to approach Sebastian, she lightly tapped his shoulder causing him to turn around. He had grown – all of you had.
“Poppy! Congratulations, we finally made it out!” He cheeringly said, pulling her to a hug, she awkwardly patted his back, muttering congratulations to him as well. When they pulled back from each other her lips were pressed in a thin line, her eyes still trained to your figure.
“Take care of her for me, will you?” Sebastian followed her gaze, a genuine smile plastered on his face as he nodded enthusiastically before looking back at Poppy.
“Of course, I promise that I’ll protect your best friend.”
“If– if there’s going to be a time – to which I know it wouldn’t happen,” She swallowed the lump in her throat, “If you aren’t happy with her anymore, can you just bring her back to me instead of hurting her?”
Poppy watched you walk back to them, you smiled brightly when you caught her eyes. Sebastian was quiet for a moment, “Yeah, of course.”
You hurriedly ran back, arms spread as you almost tackled her to the ground. Poppy let out a laugh, even if there were tears running down her cheeks she hugged you back, tightly. She missed this. She missed you.
You grew concerned when you saw tears running down her cheeks that you wiped it away. For once, Poppy turned brave, she kissed your palms — she had missed it, she had missed you and your warmth, and your laughter and your eyes.
“I’m sorry— I’m sorry if I ignored you,”
“Come on now, there’s no need for that. If he makes you happy then I’m happy.” Poppy smiled, brushing your hair out of your face. You looked at her, a sad smile in your face as you hugged her again tightly. She relished it, knowing that this might be the last time.
You both stayed that way for a while.
Now years later, Poppy could look back to it and laugh but it would still pinch her heart.
She stood by the altar, her eyes fixated on you as you walked down the aisle. She felt her heart beating out of her chest — you looked ethereal. The years turned you into a woman but you were still how she met you — strong, reliable, you.
As you neared the altar, she stepped to the side. She watched Sebastian take you by the hand. A content smile was on her face when you looked at her and gave her an excited smile.
Of course, she couldn’t help it – she would imagine herself instead of Sebastian, she would imagine herself waiting at the altar for you, she would imagine herself kissing you instead of him. She would’ve loved being your bride.
She would’ve loved being yours.
The ring on her finger felt heavy, she glanced at her own husband who was Sebastian's best man.
Ominis Gaunt.
Of course she felt happy with him but she couldn’t help it. She couldn’t.
Maybe it was her own fault, for not confessing earlier. Maybe it was her fault for being a coward. Or maybe she didn’t deserve to be more than your best friend. Maybe she didn’t deserve to be your bride and was more fit to be your maid of honor.
Maybe she didn’t deserve you at all.
That’s why the Gods themselves were punishing her this way.
