oopsies,, i've been inactive HAHAAHAAAHA sorry about that!!! also, i forgot that i won't just be posting HL fics here, might post other fandoms im in!
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oopsies,, i've been inactive HAHAAHAAAHA sorry about that!!! also, i forgot that i won't just be posting HL fics here, might post other fandoms im in!

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Hello. :)
I’ve been playing Hogwarts Legacy for weeks now, having a blast, and just finished the quest with Fastidios, the poltergeist who controls a haunted dungeon in a shop that you can purchase in Hogsmeade.
Been imagining Sebastian going through the dungeon for the Player Character and it’s either 1) a comedy where he’s dealing with a poltergeist so obnoxious that it gives Peeves a run for his money, or 2) an emotional trial because he’s being tormented in a haunted dungeon with a poltergeist that can conjure his darkest fears.
Either way, he promised to go through the dungeon - maybe as a favor to the Player or as a form of atonement for something he did wrong - and makes it out unharmed.
HELLO anonnn!! im glad you're enjoying your time playing Hogwarts, the first time I played it i never expected that I'd be immersed with the story !! BUT one problem is, the first play through I did - I spedrun the whole story!
That being said I never encountered the quest BUT I do know what you're talking about. I'm on my second play-through and I do plan to finish all side-quests just so I could have a better understanding of the world itself !! BUT YES I'd love to write about the comedic and traumatic experience w Seb going through that quest!
Imagine where MC (you) didn't have a say about Sebastian Sallow going to Azkaban.
- you were on your way to the Undercroft — literally dashing down the halls, just so you could talk to Sebastian, to ease him. And Ominis, to reassure him.
- it happened unexpectedly, you never would have imagined that Ominis would do it without consulting you. You'd see them — the Professors, dragging Sebastian away and by this time, the other students had gone to their common rooms.
- you'd see the guilt in Ominis' hazy blue eyes and he's holding back tears. Sebastian is trying to reason with them, shouting— kicking. His wand was confiscated by Professor Weasley who had disappointment and anguish on her face.
- you, of course— without thinking used Depulso on your own Professors — specifically Professor Sharp and Ronen. You hadn't meant to, it knocked them back away from Sebastian.
- you ran to him, grasping his hands— pulling him towards you and getting him behind you. Your wand raised to them, even if you were trembling — even if you were scared, you'd do it anyway.
- Ominis tried to reason with you, telling you that this was for the best but you'd only tell him to shut up— your emotions are at fray. You felt betrayed, “I thought we would talk about this, you said that we would.” you'd tell him and he'd have regret all over his face.
- Professor Fig would try to calm you down— he'd tell you to put down your wand. Sebastian, who's still behind you — is afraid. You'd tell them no, you'd threaten them — you would use your ancient magic to throw something at them. “No, I won't let you — I won't let you.”
- Your other hand was holding Sebastian's, he was squeezing your hand — you'd hear him let out a shaky sigh, “It's okay,” He'd say, “I'll be okay—” his voice was croaking, you could hear him holding back tears. No, no, no— not him. Not the first friend that you've made, the first friend who'd shown you the ropes, hogsmeade, the restriction area, the undercroft, feldcroft, scriptorium, the unforgivables— You'd give everything, even your ancient magic— just not him.
- You'd feel him hug you from behind, his forehead resting on your shoulder, you could feel his tears on your robes — “It's okay,” That was a lie, you know it's not. You'd feel a lump on your throat, you'd feel him squeeze your hand reassuringly. “Let me go, it's okay,”
- You'd shake your head and he'd turn you to him, his hands cupping your face — tears were rolling from his cheeks but he had a smile on his freckled face. And you'd cry, you're gripping your wand tightly, your hands would come up to his. “I'm glad, I met you.” His thumbs were stroking both sides of your cheeks, wiping away tears.
- Before you knew it, he was pulled away from you — you dropped your wand as you held onto his hands and he held on to yours, tightly. You refused to let go, refused to let him go.
- Professor Sharp was pulling him away from you while Professor Fig held onto you. His hand and yours were interlocked, he let out a shaky breath, letting your hand go but you held on. “No, no, no,— please, please.” You pleaded, your voice breaking. “Please— he didn't mean it, he just wanted to—” Your fingers were slipping away from him, Professor Fig tugged onto you and you let him go, and you're wailing. “He just wanted to save his sister— he just wanted a cure.” You'll shout and you'll kick.
- Professor Fig held you, shushing you as you continued to break down, your arms constricted as you cry.
- Ominis had a dejected look on his face, he'd be next to you and Professor Fig. You'd watch them, drag him away 'till he's out of your sight — you'd fall to your knees, still crying and Ominis would kneel beside you, apologizing over and over again. And that he did what he had to do.
- the worst part was, you and Sebastian could've had the time— the time to deepen your bond more, the time to fall for one another and the time to confess to one another. But you didn't — you didn't. He was your friend, and he was yours.
- Sebastian Sallow, the boy who did everything for love. The boy who lost everything had lost you too.
i just really wanted to get this out of my head but i promise I'll make a fic out of this soon and art lmao — also, in this imagine, you aren't in love with Sebastian yet, maybe a crush yeah — as it said, you could've had the time but you didn't (plus you're still 5th years here).
turning this into a fic soon BECAUSE i have another fic in mind like this but IN A VERY DIFFERENT context hehe
Hello! 🍇 here again! I meant! Mc would think about how if she only removes the physical pain it should be fine! Bc when Isadora removed her father’s pain she went after an emotion aka grief MC would be trying to target physical pain! Idk if that makes more sense!
OHHH that makes more sense, i'll try to make do with what i can!!

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Hello! I would like to make my self 🍇anon! I have a fanfic idea.. what if.. Mc started speaking to herself about ideas to help Anne with her curse muttering things like ‘Isadora used her magic to remove the pain of grief.. which is an emotion, Anne’s pain is physical so I might be able to-‘ but she stops herself because she thinks it’s a awful idea and she doesn’t wanna experiment with that theory on other people but Sebastian heard the idea and now he won’t leave her the hell alone about it!
HELLOOOO 🍇, that's a very interesting idea, hmmm — would they break into an argument because she didn't want to do it or will MC try it on something/someone else before trying because in the game there's people that are in grief (ex: Mrs. Bickle or even little Archie or Natty herself) loads of possibilities BUT i will see what i can do hehe
Omgggg that second part was really something.. you’re absolutely talented and your way with words leaves me breathless.
Will you be doing a spin-off on this? Or a sort of series?
I would love to see what you would do with the rest of this (very angsty stuff, me likey very much)
Lots of love to you, love 💗
HIII, i don't really know if im gonna continue that specific story anymoree, i never really thought it would do well — first part specifically BUTTT if i could and (i would) I'd write a whole entirety/series but most of my fics are very song based and IF that specific song keeps invoking different kinds of scenarios, i'd write abt it :DDD
TYSMMM for liking my writing though !!
(edit: all my fics are based on one lyric alone in one song — so every lyric invokes a whole story in my head, for example, i used strangers by ethel cain in that fic, "that i never blamed you for loving me the way you did" inspired the first part and then "am i making you feel sick?" was the finality/the ending of it)
Gang 😭 when I said ‘Hurt us’ I didn’t mean use crucio on us like that! Sheesh!
Merry Christmas!!! HAHSHAHSHAH no but i literally had no idea what the ending was going to be like, it just kinda came to me as I write :'DD i had a hard time on it
part ii: “AM I MAKING YOU FEEL SICK?”
PLOT: Would you have loved being his?
angst, hurt no comfort, hallucinations
characters: Sebastian Sallow, Ominis Gaunt
authors note: early christmas, story kinda lowkey wrote itself (i was on autopilot mode lmao) 7k words jshsjshsh
Sebastian Sallow had always been a bright boy and he prided himself in that regard.
He wasn't just bright – he was charming, funny, easy-going— the list could go on.
So why? Why in Godric’s name did he do what he did? He might have an answer for that and you might not believe it.
For love. He did it for love.
Love for his sister. For his family. For his friend.
For you.
You were two sides of the same coin, really, he knows that you would've done the same thing. Why wouldn't you? You've always put your life on the line, always a step ahead of everyone and always lending a hand. He didn't understand – why you couldn't this time.
Now, he's carrying you back in the castle, his arms around you protectively. He knew that what happened would reach the castle, he almost wanted to scream at the top of his lungs from anger — from frustration.
Why does things never go his way? He grit his teeth, by tomorrow morning everyone would know that his Uncle's dead.
He just hoped that Anne could forgive him and that Ominis would too. With this thought in mind, he pulled you closer to him. Everything was too much but at least he had you.
He has you.
As he neared the castle, he used one of the floo to take him to the Room of Requirement. A sanctuary that you showed him and Ominis — you'd let them hang-out here, it actually didn't take you a while to show them this place, you were practically buzzing with excitement when you led them here.
He remembers your blinding smile when you stood in front of the stone wall while Ominis asked him if you had lost your mind — before he could even respond to him, the walls started to move and reveal the entrance.
The room manifested, he stepped in, looking around to see if Deek was in here.
He realized that the house elf was gone. Relief settled in his shoulders, as he adjusted your unconscious form in his arms.
He quickly laid you down on the sofa, carefully placing your head on the pillows. He grabbed hold of the blanket that was hanging off its arm rest and placed it over you.
His eyes caught a glimpse of what he looked like in the mirror that placed itself near one of your tables. He hesitantly approached and took sight of himself.
He’s a mess.
Emotionally and physically. His freckled face was stained with tears, his eyes had red rims around them and his face had speckles of dirt. His hair was sticking out in different directions, his robes were tattered, his vest had a few burn holes and his dress-shirt had smudges of dirt.
He felt anger bubble up in his chest again, feeling it boil – that frustration coming back, his hands finding a way to his hair, gripping it tightly letting out a groan. He looked back at the mirror, he wanted to punch it but his eyes settled on your sleeping form in the mirror and his breathing slowed. His anger started to simmer down.
He looked back at your sleeping form, walking over and kneeled down beside you.
His hand came up to move the hair out of your sleeping face. You looked so peaceful that it made his heart ease itself.
He wished you could always be like this.
Peaceful. It seemed as though ever since you stepped foot in this world, nothing was ever peaceful for you. You couldn't even enjoy Hogsmeade the first time he showed you, trolls started attacking. He knows what you're going through, he knows how tired you are and yet he managed to rope you in one of his problems.
It made him sick to his stomach — he was selfish. So fucking selfish. He was so immersed in his problems that he didn't even see that you were carrying the whole world on your shoulders, you even carried his burden. It made him feel angry again.
He thought about it and he's decided. From now on, he's going to protect you. He’s willing to do anything – you just need to ask, you didn't even have to dip your hand in blood because he'd gladly soak his for you.
He'd drown with you.
No, no, no.
He'd drown everyone who'd ever do you wrong. He'd watch them struggle beneath his hands, keeping their heads down underwater while you stood by and watched him do so.
He'd do it all for you.
No one even deserved to be near you, to be part of your kindness — so in those moments, where you aren't kind. He relishes it. He encourages it because he knows how tired you are, he knows that deep down there's a part of you that wants to be selfish.
He didn't even deserve you. So what makes the others think that they do? You deserved the world — deserve everything it has to offer.
Hells none of them even knew what you're going through and yet you let him in, you told him – because that's how much he mattered to you.
For a moment, he just stared at your sleeping form – his eyes content, forgetting every sin he's ever committed. He took a hold of your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze before standing up to leave.
He had matters to take care of.
He immediately went to his dormitories, passing through everyone, only giving them a curt nod as a greeting. He made his way to the lavatory, immediately taking off his clothes.
After that, he put on a fresh set of clothes. He rolled his sleeves up and adjusted his tie. He looked down at the robes that he wore earlier.
He picked it up, walking to the nearest floo. He went to the undercroft — he set his old set of clothes before setting it on fire using confringo, he sat down on the floor as he watched it burn. He wondered what he would do if you ever left this place — maybe he'd burn the whole school down or maybe he'd burn the whole world.
Deep in thought, he never heard the Undercroft open — there were footsteps behind him.
“Are— are you mad?” Ominis let out a cough, before casting a spell that makes all the smoke disperse. He waved his hand through the air, trying to get all of it to stop reaching his nose.
Ominis’ brows were furrowed in anger, he walked over to where Sebastian was.
“Your sister — sent me an owl. Told me that she didn't ever want to see you again.”
Sebastian just sat on the floor, leaning over the walls as he pulled his knees to his chest.
“You know where she's gone too then?” He whispered, his voice low and threatening that Ominis almost drew a step back.
“I do, but I gave her my word. We talked, she said you have to pay for your crimes but she isn't willing to do it herself because it would only break her heart more.”
Sebastian gripped his knees, the thought of going to Azkaban — of losing his mind, of losing his memory, of losing you. It was enough to make him snap but he kept calm.
“Would you really send me off to Azkaban?” He drawled out the words, letting it ring in Ominis’ ears. He gripped his wand tightly. He knew Ominis would be torn between sending him off — he knew that his friend wouldn't have the courage and the heart to do it.
He wasn't going to hurt Ominis. Gods, no. He'd been there for him through thick and thin – he was his only friend ‘till you came along.
However, Ominis' silence made him a bit uneasy, he grinded his teeth together as he watched the blond boy wrack his thoughts together.
Ominis' clenched his jaw, his hazy eyes narrowing before speaking. “I need to talk to her before I can make a decision. She has to be included in this conversation. She witnessed you murder your Uncle Sebastian, she gets the final say.”
Sebastian felt himself stiffened. You. He was talking about you — the final decision was on you. “She doesn't need to make a decision.”
“She absolutely does — I'll send her an owl–” Before Ominis could leave, Sebastian stepped in front of him. This made the blond boy's eyebrows furrow in confusion.
“She doesn't need to.”
“What did you do, Sebastian?” Ominis stepped back from him.
“What I had to do.” He clenched his fists to the sides, his wand at the ready.
Horror took over Ominis' face, his mouth gaping as he shook his head. “Tell me you didn't — Sebastian—”
Anger was all that Ominis felt. He couldn't believe him — you, innocent you, who had done nothing but help them to the best of your abilities. You who had nothing but been kind to them both. You who had always put your life on line to find a cure for Anne. You who had given up your time for him and for Sebastian.
You had put your life for them. For Sebastian and he betrays you like this.
Ominis felt bile up his throat — he held his stomach. Just how far was Sebastian willing to go? He had already charged head first in the Dark Arts — he used the Cruciatus Curse on you. Bloody hell, he even used the Killing Curse like it was nothing.
He meant all of it. Just how dark was his heart? His mind? Why did he think erasing your memories was the answer?
He didn't even recognize his friend anymore. He didn't want to know how far he's willing to go and how many more he'll kill — he didn't want to be on the receiving end.
“Ominis. Whatever you're thinking, it's not going to work.”
Ominis quickly cast depulso on Sebastian, knocking him back. He then cast confringo but he heard him deflecting that. He was panicking, he had to let you know — he had to save you from this.
From him.
He blocked Sebastian's attacks – deflecting and trying to hit him back with his own spells. He heard him cast ‘Imperio’ and he quickly rolled out of the way.
Before he could stand up. He had been stunned, unable to move. He felt Sebastian's steps on the ground, he kneeled in front of Ominis.
“I’m sorry – but you don't even know half of the things that I'm willing to do for her. For us.” He sighed out, taking the wand from Ominis.
“I just want a friend, Ominis. Someone who'd be there for me no matter how ugly or dark it gets.” He continued, his hand fiddling with Ominis’ wand, spinning it between his fingers.
“You could still be that friend.” Sebastian held his wand over his temple, pressing on it tightly.
Ominis felt helpless. He couldn't save you— he couldn't save himself. He's apologizing in his head over and over again to you, from the fate you’ll have to endure.
This was the monster you both created.
He felt like crying but he couldn't — he wouldn't. How did it get this bad? What did you do to deserve this? You were nothing but generous and kind. You didn't deserve this.
You didn't deserve the both of them — least of all, this hollow and broken boy in front of him. Maybe he could've saved you, he could've saved his friend— maybe if he had an ounce of courage and more strength, he could've succeeded.
And maybe he could've told you that he loves you — more than he could ever admit to himself. Maybe he could've stood up to Sebastian.
If he didn't leave you in the Catacombs, would've been different? Could he have saved you from this fate?
“I’m sorry.” He mouthed, as if the wind would carry the words to you.
Sebastian’s eyebrows were furrowed, he bit the inside of his cheek. “I’m sorry Ominis. It'll be better soon.”
“Obliviate.” He watched as Ominis’ memories revealed itself to him – he quickly picked off the ones he didn't want him to remember. For a moment he hesitated, when he saw the memory of him and Anne hugging after she just buried their Uncle. He grit his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut before erasing that as well.
Ominis had passed out, he stared at his friend, patting and searching inside his robes. He felt the paper on one of the pockets, he quickly pulled it out.
Anne's letter. He opened it, eyes scanning every word, drinking in every sentence. She didn't wanna see him – he'll respect that. Her wishes. He wasn't going to go half-side of the world to find her – not anymore.
He felt tears streaming down his face. It's the least he could do, right? He had already messed up things beyond repair with her – but with you and Ominis, he can still change. He can still be the friend that you both need. He bit his lip, trying to stop it from trembling; he let out a scream — sobbing out as he held the letter tightly in his hand, his forehead glued onto the stone floor of the Undercroft.
He didn't want to lose his sister — she's the only family he had left, his shoulders shook as he swallowed his cries, he gripped the paper on his hands. He needed her probably more than ever now. She was always the sensible one. Now he didn’t even have a sister anymore, he knew that once he’d go back to Feldcroft, she'd be gone and he’d be unable to take care of her.
He started to apologize to the dark, to the quiet, to the wind.
“I’m sorry – I’m sorry, M—mum, I’m sorry. Dad- I’m,” He hiccuped, his vision blurred from the tears.
“I failed. I failed.”
Gods, he was sorry — absolutely sorry, he was pathetic. He knew that. He absolutely knew that but he didn't know how else to be.
He didn't wanna be alone. He never wants to be alone. Losing Anne was a breaking point but losing you and Ominis? It would drive him to madness and maybe it already had.
He wipes off the tears, he picks up Ominis’ wand and puts it back on his friend’s hand. He stood up, letter still in his hand, he folded it neatly and put it in his pocket.
He needed to use Ominis' owl to reply to Anne. But he was tired — tired of today's events, tired of everything he had done, tired of himself.
He conjured a pillow, he lifted Ominis’ head up placing him on it. He settled down near him, his back leaning on walls, he dropped his head on his trembling hands.
It was over.
He pushed his hair back, taking a deep breath. He felt the weight grow heavier on his shoulders, his eyes started to droop as exhaustion swallowed him whole.
“Sebastian.” He heard someone say – it couldn’t be, right?
“Sebastian.”
There it was again. He turned his head, it was dark and cold – he was alone.
“Sebastian.” He squinted his eyes, that voice, he knew that voice from somewhere, but where? Where is it?
“Where are you?” He said in the nothingness. His voice echoed back to him.
“Sebastian.” The voice started to be clearer and less distorted. It's closer, the voice is closer. He could feel warmth somewhere.
It almost felt like home.
“Sebastian.” It was his mother's voice, he couldn't believe himself that he forgot what his mother sounded like. He picked up his pace, leaving the endless void as he reached Feldcroft — it was livelier, more colorful.
He saw his mother's figure, standing waving him over. He couldn't believe it, he ran faster.
He crashed onto her arms and she hugged him back, tighter. He cried, shoulders shaking as he buried himself on her shoulder.
She smelt like wildflowers and smoke. He felt her stroke his hair, cooing at him.
“You’re okay, I'm here.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry—” He hugged her tighter.
His mother pulled away, kneeling down in front of him — it felt like he was back to being a little boy again. A little boy who needed his mother after scraping his knee.
“Whatever for?” She asks. He saw his mother's kind eyes and her soft smile.
“I couldn't protect Anne.” He sniffled, his hands felt quite relatively small when he felt his mother's hand on his.
She wiped away the tears from his freckled cheeks. Her hands felt like it's known patience by how gentle she was, he could feel her callouses from how hard she worked too.
“That’s alright, dear. You have other friends to protect now, don't you?”
He thought of Ominis. Of you.
“Promise me that you're going to do everything in your power to protect them.”
Little Sebastian nodded, sniffling as he wiped away the tears from his eyes with his sleeve.
“Good. It's time to wake up now.”
“What?” Sebastian felt his world to stir. It felt like the colors in his dream started to melt. He panicked, his hands gripping his mother's hands.
“Wake up, Sebastian.” He heard his mother say, as he felt himself start to cry again.
“Wake up.”
“Sebastian.”
“Sebastian, wake up.” He frantically opened his eyes, his chest heaved as if he was drowning. He felt his throat close up, he gasped for air — holding onto his chest.
His eyes met your worried ones.
“Hey, hey— it's just me, breathe.” You held his trembling shoulders, breathing in and out. You reached out for his hand, placing it on your beating heart.
“Breathe with me, slowly.”
He squeezed his eyes shut, following your breathing patterns.
In and out. In and out. In and out.
He exhaled through his mouth, his heart matching the same rhythm as yours. He opened his eyes, landing on you then to Ominis who had his brows furrowed in concern.
“Are you ill? Do you want us to take you to the hospital wing?” You quietly asked.
He still felt out of it — still heard his mother's voice ringing in the back of his mind.
He stared at you and Ominis.
“Protect them.” The voice was uglier this time, more feral, more sinister. But it was his mother's request.
You squeezed his hand and suddenly he was aware — he felt your beating heart and warmth underneath his fingertips and it was enough to ground him.
He felt heat reaching his neck as he pulled his hand away from you. “No, there's no need for the hospital wing.”
He cleared his throat, shaking his head as he stared off to the side.
“It was just a nightmare.” He dismissively said, as he pushed himself off the ground, dusting off the back of his pants and his dress-shirt.
“Are you certain? Because I refuse to listen to you whining later on at our dormitory.”
Sebastian let out a dry chuckle, “I’m okay, Ominis.”
Ominis wasn't convinced, his face still contorted in concern before giving a nod.
“Well, let's be off then. I've got no idea what time it is but I’m rather starved.”
“Actually, I came here because it is late–”
Ominis’ head snapped in your direction. His mouth twitched. “What?”
“It’s uhm – I think it's past noon?”
“And you didn't think of telling us?”
You scratched the back of your neck, a bit embarrassed. Sebastian felt bad. He puts a hand on Ominis’ shoulder.
“Alright, enough. It wasn't her fault, it's mine-” He sighed, Ominis shrugged Sebastian's hand off.
“What did we even do, anyway?”
Ominis felt like there were gaps in his memories, he tried to remember what happened before he slept. You also stood there equally confused, you also had gaps in your memory — you knew you were doing something important before this, maybe even something dangerous but you couldn't quite put your finger on it.
“We went out in Hogsmeade yesterday. We roamed around, ate Honeydukes and had a few butterbeer.”
“Really? It feels like my body's been thrown around with how much everything hurts — or the sofa was just uncomfortable.” You mumbled the last part to yourself as you stretched out.
“Maybe if you actually slept in your dormitory, you'd be more comfortable — actually, why can't you just conjure a bed?”
“I forget – plus the sofa’s fine.” Ominis gave her a look before turning around.
“Again, we're late and I refuse to use my family privileges to Headmaster Black again—” He mumbled the last part to himself.
Sebastian almost smiled. Everything was normal, it was back to the way it was. He watched Ominis exit the Undercroft in a hurry before turning his head to look at you.
“Shall we then?” He gave you a boyish smile before motioning for you to lead the way.
“Oh, Professor Sharp's gonna have my head.” You mumbled to yourself, walking out of the Undercroft with Sebastian close behind who snorted at your comment.
School was buzzing. It was quite busy, given the fact that it was also Tuesday. The three of them walked together side by side at the central hall, the chatter quickly quieted down, murmuring to themselves when they walked by.
You looked around, confused. You were used to them whispering on and about but this seemed different. They were all quiet, almost as if they knew something that the three of you didn't.
“Absolutely ridiculous, haven't they got manners?” Ominis angrily mumbled to himself. He was a bit crankier this morning which is a bit out of character for him, probably because he's hungry.
“You didn't have manners the first time you met her. Plus I recall that you called her a try-hard for taking down a troll at Hogsmeade.” Sebastian snickered at the memory, he saw the tip of the blond boy's ears turn red.
You held back a giggle, “All in the past but it was a bit odd that he'd mention it every time.”
Ominis grumbled under his breath as he walked faster and you followed suit, in a fit of giggles as you tried to catch up and apologize to him.
Sebastian slowed, the weight on his shoulders easing for a bit. His mind started to float around and about, after all, everything had just happened yesterday. He felt faint tremors in his hands, he's starting to get paranoid with the whispers. At the corner of his eye, he saw Professor Weasley approaching him. She called out to him.
“Sebastian.”
Everything was loud and quiet all at the same time. His throat bobbed as he heard Professor Weasley's voice — it suddenly started to distort, her words bleeding out, her voice deepening and suddenly it was Solomon's voice.
“Sebastian.”
“Sebastian, what have you done?”
He grit his teeth, trying to shut it down mentally, everything felt heavy again. It felt like he couldn't breathe again, he could still smell the Inferi's burning flesh, the smell of fire and dampness of that Godforsaken catacombs.
“Sebastian.”
He shut his eyes, trying to block it out. He couldn't — it's still there, he was still there. He taunted him, he could hear him grumbling, calling him his father's son. He could hear his voice over and over again, telling him that there's nothing he could do for Anne. That he can't save her.
“You can't save her.” He opened his eyes, his vision a bit blurry and shaky — he could see his Uncle standing next to you. His eyes were hollow, face forever etched in a scowl.
“You can't save her.” His Uncle's eyes narrowed to you then back to Sebastian.
“You. Can't. Save. Her.”
Stop it. Stop it. Stop this. He can save you, he can. He'll protect you, he'll kill for you if that's what it takes. He could feel himself needing air, it hurt — he felt constricted, suddenly his tie felt a little too tight that he fumbled to loosen it.
“Sebastian.”
“Sebastian.”
“SEBASTIAN.” You shook him, snapping him out of his daze — there were tears streaming down his face, he was holding the end of his tie tightly, it was loose on his collar.
He was panting again, he felt like he was starting to lose air — you saved him again. You had his hand held over your chest again, he didn't even realize he was on the floor and his back pressed tightly on the fountains.
Professor Weasley stood near you, her face etched in worry and pity. She apparently told him the news of his Uncle and he started to drift, to walk away — he never realized what he was doing earlier. He saw faces of other students, all etched in pity as they whispered to one another. Professor Weasley gave them all a sharp look, it made them shuffle on their feet muttering an apology as they walked away.
“I'm very sorry for your Uncle's passing, Mr. Sallow, you have my condolences.” Professor Weasley bowed her head down, she looked at you, whose focus was solely on him.
Ominis stood off by the side, letting you handle as you showed him how to breathe properly again.
Sebastian mimicked you, hand pressing to your chest firmly, he felt your heart thrumming beneath his palm. He's fine, you're fine. You were here, you were safe, you were fine. He reminded himself over and over again.
He let out a shaky exhale, crying out as he pulled you into a hug. He’s trembling, he muffled his cries burying his face on your shoulder, hugging you a bit tighter.
You hugged him back, eyes closed as you stroked his hair, reassuring him. You didn't know how hurt he felt, how Anne felt. You only held him tighter while Professor Weasley gave you two some space.
After a while, he calmed down, sniffling as he slowly pulled away from you. He fully removed his tie, fidgeting with it as he leaned back.
“Sorry, that must've been pathetic to see.” His voice was quiet, almost regretful.
You shook your head, kneeling down beside him. “That— that wasn't pathetic Seb. It's– you're– you're grieving.” Your hand came up to wipe away tears that streamed down his face.
His jaw ticked. He gripped the green tie on his hand, he leaned onto your touch – desperate for your warmth.
“Sebastian. I'm truly sorry about your Uncle,” Ominis sat down beside him. He had no idea what to say, he had known Solomon ever since he started to stay at the Sallow house during breaks at first it was a bit uncomfortable ‘till it eventually felt natural to do so.
“Should we go visit Anne?” Sebastian panicked when you pulled your hand away from his face, his fingers gripping his tie.
“No.” He immediately answered, making you startled when he suddenly grabbed onto your wrist — his breathing was frantic, practically chasing air.
“No— Please, don't leave me here—” He pleaded, trembling again.
“Anne— Anne's— she– she probably left, she probably wants space, please— please just don't leave me here.”
Ominis turned his head to you, his face scrunched up. He was upset but he knew that Sebastian needed you both, he also knew Anne – he knew that she would need space.
“Okay, okay— just please breathe, let's get you something to eat or maybe something to drink.” You rested your hand on his, patting his knuckles as you gently pulled him up.
He stuck close to you and Ominis, you made your way to the Great Hall — some students' eyes fell on you three as they whispered to themselves, you held Sebastian's hand while he firmly gripped yours, afraid that if he lets go you'll leave him.
He followed your steps, Ominis followed the two of you from behind when he reached their table he immediately sat down. Sebastian pulled you with him when he sat down, hands still on yours under the table as he tried to chew down his meal.
It was quiet between the three of you. He let the silence fall onto his ears, he listened to the murmurs of other students instead. His heart was still beating rapidly, wondering if anyone knew and how long it would take before they would know.
“Do you— do you want to go to Feldcroft?” You suddenly asked, as you took a small bite of your pastry.
He was deep in thought, he didn't want the two of you to be suspicious, he gave a nod. “Do you— do you want me and Ominis to go with you?”
He shook his head. “I’ll— I'll be fine, I'll send an owl if I— if I want company.”
You looked at him, eyes unsure but gave him a nod. You gave his hand a gentle squeeze, a small reminder that you’re here with him and you’re not going anywhere. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Ominis slowly chew on his food.
It was quiet between the three of them. Silence seemed to eat him up alive – he was going back to Feldcroft after this, he was going to be alone. It's fine, it's fine. Everything's fine.
Sebastian bid his goodbyes to the both of you, embracing you both tightly before he headed to Feldcroft.
He didn't use the floo flames, he used his broom to get there just so he could get his mind off of it. He didn't want to immediately be there, he wanted to take his time — to take forever just so the dread wouldn't come sooner.
Feldcroft started to be visible — the churning in his stomach began. He dismounted from his broom, gripping it tightly. He chewed on the side of his cheek, Solomon's grave was beside the house.
“She’s devastated, she buried your Uncle. Alone.”
The words rang out through his head, the corners of his eye started to sting as he stared at the grave — he imagined it. He imagined his sister burying their Uncle — imagined how she must've kept breaking down, imagined how the only relief she felt was when Ominis hugged her.
He turned his head away, his legs feeling like jelly as he made it inside the house, the door creaked — the candles weren't lit.
He hesitantly stepped in, placing his broom somewhere. His eyes scanned the whole house, it was empty — somehow, he had expected that this all just might be a dream. A bad one.
He expected his Uncle would come around the corner, he expected footsteps from upstairs that belonged to his sister.
Nothing. It was quiet. The only thing he heard was the wind blowing from outside. His eyes caught sight of a paper on the table, he walked towards it, he felt his stomach drop when he recognized the handwriting.
Anne.
Sebastian,
Too much has happened. I needed to get away from here for a while.
I miss Uncle Solomon.
I need time.
I will always love you, but I don't think I can forgive you.
Anne.
Sebastian felt his hand trembling, he draped his fingers over the paper — tears started flowing down his cheeks. He sank down on the wooden chair, staring at the letter as if it would somehow burn itself.
His tears started to stain the paper, the ink smudging and he panicked. This was the last thing he had left that came from Anne, he didn't want to lose it.
He felt numb all over. He lost everyone. His parents, his sister and his Uncle.
He doesn't have anyone to take care of him.
He just didn't want to be alone. He just didn't want to lose his sister — he hadn't meant everything to happen, he hadn't meant to kill his Uncle, he was just protecting Anne. Himself. And you.
He pressed the heels of his palms on his eyes, he didn't have any tears left to cry. It was only starting to hurt. It even hurt to breathe like his chest was on fire.
Guilt wouldn't matter now would it? He'd feel it all throughout his life. For what he did to them, to you and to Ominis.
He's going to change, he's going to be better. He has no choice but to be better. He chose this, he made the bed, he might as well lie in it but at least — he can lay on it with you.
If you ask Sebastian Sallow, why he did what he had to do, he'd say, for love.
It was always for love.
Few years have passed since fifth year, he couldn't have imagined himself — couldn't have imagined that you'd say yes, he couldn't have imagined that the ring on your finger would match his, couldn't have imagined that you're perfect for being Mrs. Sallow.
He occupied the house in Feldcroft, renovated it to be more spacious and better looking. After all, you both wanted children – at least, in due time. Everything was perfect for him, for you. He changed, for the better. He made himself better, made it sure that he deserved you and gave you the life that you wanted.
Everything was perfect. He wasn't alone. He had you — he had Ominis, he had a damn good job, he brought food to the table, he had a wonderful wife to come home to. He couldn't ask for more.
But sometimes, most perfect things must come to an end. Even if we don't want it to.
He came home, a smile plastered on his face one night expecting a kiss, a hug and dinner even.
He walks in, expecting warmth but is met with nothing. The fire crackled softly, his eyes scanning the living room before walking in the kitchen — nothing.
He then went upstairs, footsteps heavy as he expected you to be laying in bed for your naps but you weren't there. He went back down, he was starting to get frantic — paranoid even.
His eyes then dropped down to a box of letters and ice started to run through his veins.
The same box of letters he hid from you, the same letters that were from Anne — same letters he told himself he'd burn but he couldn't, they were from his sister. Letters that were meant for you and Ominis and letters that were from the past.
He quickly bent down picking up the letter that was sprawled on the floor — the same one he had seen on the table when he was fifteen. He crumpled in shoving it back in his pocket, he's trembling, he's panicking, he felt his chest heaving as he ran back upstairs.
He checked your shared closet — his shoulders slumped, gone. Your clothes were gone, he then moved to the drawers, gone. Under the bed, where you kept trinkets that your friends gave you back in Hogwarts. Gone.
It was gone. You were gone.
The only thing left in the room was the faint scent of your perfume that he watched you spray yourself with this morning. He apparated out of the house, panting as he asked one of your neighbors about your whereabouts, only for them to shrug their shoulders, telling him that they watched you apparate.
It didn't help him. He grew more frustrated, more frantic – he turned mumbling the word useless underneath his breath.
He then felt the band on his ring finger — his jaw ticked. He knew how to get to you, he just hoped he wasn't too late, he knew you'd run to Ominis first. But his best friend was halfway across the world, so he tapped into his band.
He embedded a charmed compass in your wedding band — he told himself it was for your protection. It really was because he had never thought that you'd ever think about running away from him.
He immediately apparated when it showed him where you were. Now he was in an alleyway in muggle London, he stared up at the window you were in, watching you wipe your tears away.
He bit the inside of his cheek, apparating again, behind you this time, his hands immediately dropping to your waist. He felt you freeze, your breath caught in your throat.
“How much do you remember?” He whispered, his voice breaking as he gripped his hold on you, making you stay in your place. He wouldn't hurt you — he'll never hurt you.
He heard you start to cry, trembling underneath his touch. He turned you around, pulling you in close, hugging you.
“Let me go— let me go-” He heard you plead, your hands on his chest as you started to hit him. He couldn't let you go — he wouldn't let you go, he'll never let you go.
“Everything— I remember everything–”
He felt his stomach churning, he held you close still – he took the punches on his chest, the hits and then you pushed him away, enough to make him stumble.
He felt heartbroken. Betrayed. It hurt.
You were going to leave him.
You left him.
You shakingly pointed your wand at him. “You lied to me— you lied—”
“You were going to leave—” His chest heaved, he didn't want to fight you – he didn't want it to come down to this.
“You were lying to me— you kept this from me, you took my memories away-” You were panting, frantically trying to get all the words out.
“I had to” He shouted, he watched you flinch - hand gripping your wand tightly.
“You were going to leave me— I didn't want to be alone. I needed you that day and you left me— you ran away from me– Don't you understand? I was protecting you, I was protecting us—” He pleaded, his hands shakingly on his chest.
“I love you— okay? I did it because I love you and I cared for you— I— I did it all for you.” His lips trembled, he stepped forward and watched as you took a step back — his heart broke. This all seemed familiar to him, this was the same thing that happened. He knew how this would end.
He felt like he was fifteen again, grasping and holding tightly to you. He felt like he was back at the Catacombs, back at the Undercroft and back at Feldcroft standing over his Uncle's grave. You had the same look on your face, the same fear in your eyes and that same defiant stance.
“You don't— you don't love me— this- this isn't love, Sebastian.” Your voice broke at the end, he felt himself getting frustrated, he dragged both of his hands to his face — the tears onto his eyes starting to spill.
“How can you— how can you say that? Are you even listening to me?” He lets out a shaky exhale.
“He was going to kill us— he was going to kill me, he was going to kill Anne and he was going to kill you— I had no choice— I had to protect you, I had to—”
He grit his teeth, the memory kept flashing in his mind.
“I would've done anything— anything you asked me to – you don't have— you don't get to say on how I feel because I know— I know that I have loved you ever since you stood by my side—”
He inhaled, he saw you still unsure, still trembling, still holding onto that wand.
“This— this is love. I have changed, you have changed me — for better– even if the guilt still gnawed at me, I kept going — for you. I have lied, I erased your memories, I needed a foundation— because would you have loved me still if I didn't?”
He stared at you — he already knew the answer. He already knows that you wouldn't, that you would've gladly left him but he learned, didn't he? He was a changed man, right? He didn't need to do what he had done before.
Right?
He watched you swallow the lump in your throat, tears still flowing down your cheeks – in an instinct he reached out and wiped away your tears and you let him.
His other hand made its way to your face too, wiping the stray tears away – you were still trembling but you leaned onto his touch anyway, he leaned in close, he felt the tip of your wand on his chest.
“Would you still have me? Despite knowing all of that? Knowing how much blood I soaked my hands in?”
He asked again, he was at your mercy, you had your wand on his chest and all you had to do was say that little spell he used on his Uncle.
And he'd gladly let you, at least he gets to die in your arms, he gets to die in your presence.
He gets to die being yours.
He felt tears on the pads of his thumb, you sobbed as you pressed the wand on his chest. He wondered if you could feel his heart beating for you, wondered if you knew that even in this moment he still worshiped you.
“Because I know, I would have loved you still.”
He felt your wand falling away from his chest— suddenly he felt himself being pulled, suddenly his lips were crashing onto yours.
He almost groaned when he felt your soft lips against his, your hand on the back of his head to pull him impossibly closer.
Gods, he had done this to her multiple times, he had worshiped her mouth far too many times to count but it still felt like he was in heaven's gates – he swore he could hear angels singing whenever his lips were on you.
His hands travelled its way down, from your neck down to your waist. He felt you pulling him on the bed, careful not to crush you underneath his weight as you pulled him on top. Slowly be pulled away, breath taken, eyes hungry and lips swollen.
“Yes — I would have loved you still. I would still say yes, if you asked me to be your wife.”
Her breath mixed with his and he leaned in again. He didn't care if it was a lie, it tasted good on her lips.
He didn't realize – that she still held her wand and before he knew it he was stunned, he watched you push him off. He tried to fight it off, tried to break free but he couldn't, he helplessly watched you.
Your shoulders shook as you held back your cries. “I wasn't— I wasn't lying, I would have loved you still,” You took a deep breath, “But you lied to me — you- I don't— I don't want to live my life like this— knowing that it was all a lie.”
He wanted to scream, to reach out— to tell you that it wasn't — it wasn't a lie. He loved you, had always loved you and he will always do. The life he built with you, the hard work and effort he put into to give everything you wanted was proof of that.
“And— I don't – I don't want them to live like that.” You hiccuped, he watched you put your hand over your stomach. He felt dread coursing through him, you were pregnant.
You sniffled, pointing your wand on his forehead.
“I’m sorry but I can't—”
No, no, no, no, no.
You can torture him, you can kill him — just not this, not this. He was pleading in his mind, tears started to form in the corner of his eyes, he can't lose you, not you.
Now knowing that you're pregnant – he doesn't want to die but this hurts more. This will hurt him more. He didn't want to forget you or the fact that he's going to be a father. Give him a chance, he wanted to yell out.
He needed to know — he had to know if your child would have your eyes, the same curve of your smile or your laughter. He had to know, he didn't want to forget those — he doesn't want to forget you.
But this isn't a storybook that he'd listen to with Anne — he wasn't a hero, he never was. It was all just make-believe and for a while he's happy with that 'till he's not.
“Obliviate.”
“Do you think we're going to be okay?” A voice asked — your voice, younger you, fifteen year old you. He hummed leaning over on the Astronomy Tower, staring up at the stars.
“As long as you're with me and I'm with you.” He replied, a cheeky grin plastered on his freckled face as he watched your face heat up — your eyes crinkled at the corners as you gave him a smile, one that he knows he'd keep close in his heart.
Your eyes, your smile, your laughter — it all started to drift away and he started to chase it 'till he was grasping at nothing.
Sebastian woke up, chest heaving — his hand came up to his sweating forehead as he wiped it away.
Who was that?
He rubbed his eyes, he scanned the room he was in — he was at his house, in his bedroom. There was this weird feeling in his chest, the bed he laid on felt too big, like someone was supposed to be by his side, but who? His mind tried to wrack his brain as he stared at the empty side of his bed.
He checked the clock in his room, he let out an audible curse as he quickly got off the bed, scrambling to get in the bathroom.
After that, he was about to leave the house but stopped — it felt like he was forgetting something or someone, as he stood by the door, he felt a phantom touch on his cheek— like lips brushing over it but he shrugged it off, his hand instinctively fiddling with his ring finger.
It felt empty. Like something was supposed to be there, but who knows, maybe it's just him feeling lonely.
step one: listen to a new song
step two: get prophetic vision about a eighteen book series with prequels and sequels galore and lore and fans and awww fanart!! and movies and animated tv shows and angst and fluff and trauma and
step three: make a new google doc
step ???: profit

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Idk if you take request but here’s a fic to think of!
What if MC (reader) snaps at poppy after she makes us take the dragon egg back to its nest (Bc MC almost got eaten by a dragon at the very start of the game so I’d think they’d be a bit.. stressed due to that)
THAT SEEMS REALLY FUN TO DO!! i was planning to make an extension of “she was my girl first”— because i feel like i haven't really explored much in that fic BUT yeah, will be adding this there thank youu!! :DDD
“that i never blamed you for loving me the way you did.” Hurt us with the next chapter, who knows the best ending for Sebastian could be the worst ending for the reader! Because who wants to get obliviated over and over again?
i dont wanna spoil anything but just know im very excited to post it soon
“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”
not even risking that shit
scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button.
She ain’t no games in real life so I take her serious all the time
Anyone with a name that starts with a “Z”, ends with an “i”, and isn’t some kind of Italian pasta, IS SERIOUS
I’m not climbing no mountain with a pig on my back, 🙅🏽🙅🏾🙅🏿 Negative.
Nope. I know better, have your reblog Madame Zeroni.
who the fuck is Madame Zeroni
Look at these stupid children who don’t know who Madame Zeroni is
Man lissen if you don’t know you better ask somebody AFTER you hit the reblog button
Idk who she is but I have an exam today so I’ll reblog her
idk who she is but i have an exam today so i’ll reblog her
^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!
Because wise, I am.
Oh fucks no she’s back lmao must reblog. I’m sorry guys
Sowwy for the cuss words but I don’t need bad luck right before I move 300 miles to a new place
Guys forgive the language, but I don’t want to have to do exercise to break a curse
Not even risking not doing this lol
nope nope nope nope sorry guys not even risking it
Yes madam zeroni
Me: *Reading my drafts and getting invested on the story just to realize there’s a cliffhanger*
Me: “Damn, i wonder what happens next. I hope the author updates so-“
Me: *realizes im the author and im the one who has to write what’s next.*
me with “that i never blamed you for loving me the way you did.” okay but seriously, do you guys want a happy ending orrrr do you guys want me to take full control
Im actually quite new to the hogwarts legacy fandom but I do love it so far!! You’re writing is among my favorites so far! ‘I never blamed you for loving me the way you did’ is amazing! I would love a part 2 of that (was that title an Ethel Cain reference?)
HII AND YESSS ALMOST ALL OF MY FICS ARE GONNA BE ETHEL CAIN INSPIRED :))) JEHDJSJ and WELCOMEEE TO THE FANDOMMM, i also just joined recently :DDD i hope you enjoy and thank you for reading my works!!! it means a lot

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NOOOOO HOW DARE YOU WRITE BOTH “SHE WAS MY GIRL FIRST” AND “THAT I NEVER BLAMED YOU FOR LOVING ME THE WAY YOU DID”!!!! AND WROTE THEM SO WELL ??? AND PUT ME IN MY FEELINGS DAMN YOU (you absolute beast of a writer)
😭😭😭😭💕💕💕
HIII IM SORRYYYY there's actually more hurt no comfort fics in the works BUTTT IM also working on a fluff fic hehe BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ENJOYING!! YOUR COMMENT MEANS A LOT or in this case your ask HEHE<333
“she was my girl first.”
PLOT: Poppy's your best friend.
angst, hurt no comfort, one-sided
Poppy Sweeting, Sebastian Sallow, Ominis Gaunt
author's note: I'm sorry, I hurt myself with this one too
Poppy Sweeting had always been deemed weird by her peers, she always found fascination towards beasts. She always had a strong opinion, a strong voice and a strong spirit when it came to them.
She’s been teased and talked behind her back. She didn’t try to make friends anymore, she refused to, humans were cruel and they always will be. She found solace towards beasts, especially the Hippogriff she saved - Highwing. They understood her and she understood them.
Her grandmother is the only person that she confides in. Her love for beasts came from her nan, who taught her everything she knew about the magical creatures. Her parents however, were another story – they were poachers.
She despised poachers. She despises her parents, she's thankful for her nan for taking her away from them. Otherwise she'd have to deal with innocent beasts’ blood on her hands and she didn't want that.
She doesn't even want to imagine it.
In Hogwarts, she always looked forward to her class, specifically the Beasts’ Class. Her fascination made her pursue becoming a mazoologist.
Then one day she met you. The new fifth year, she thought you would be like everyone else but you were gentle with Gerald. Then you did something that sparked something within her.
You defended her and Persephone.
You defended her from the Slytherin and Ravenclaw students that mocked her.
You.
You who had gentle hands, you who went to every pen of the beasts to groom and feed them. She saw the spark in your eye and she had to contain her excitement then she surprised herself. She introduced you to Highwing and you weren't afraid, you were in awe.
You were everything.
When she told you that she was going to find information about poachers. You let her and when she asked you to help her, you accepted.
You believed in her. For the first time, she had a friend and it was you.
Strong. Reliable. You.
Of course, Poppy can’t keep you all to herself, you always had a habit of helping everyone and she didn’t mind it, not at all. When you saved Highwing and her mate from poachers with Natsai Onai, she was thankful but sometimes she wished that it was her.
You and Natty soared through the skies riding Hippogriffs. Oh, how she wished it was her with you.
She daydreams about it. She would stare into the open blue sky and imagine that she’s soaring through the skies on Hippogriffs with you.
On days where she had you all to herself, it’s always exhilarating – you were fun and kind— you were everything she hoped for a friend but why does her chest flutter every time? Why can she feel her face heat up when you’re concerned about her? Why does her heart beat a little faster when you pull her close and shield her from poachers?
Poppy Sweeting had fallen in love – she never thought that she would, she had devoted her time to beasts and finding a way to save them, devoted herself to study to become a great mazoologist. But she found herself thinking of you by her side as you both pursue the things you want in life.
It was noon, she skipped through the castle, in hopes of bumping into you. She was never like this before, she had never sought out a person’s company – the beasts were enough. Highwing was enough but ever since she met you — she would become aware of things, she would wonder about what you would think and how'd you react.
She rounded the corner when she heard a melodic sound – your laughter, her face immediately lit up as she made haste.
Her face dropped when she took in the scene before her. You were face to face with Sebastian Sallow, laughing.
Him. Of all people, you were laughing with him.
Her stomach churned when she saw just how close he was with you, he was leaning down next to your ear, his mouth moving a little too close for her comfort but it hurt more when you didn’t push him away, it hurt more when she saw your face heat up. It hurt a lot more when she saw how you looked at him – you never looked at her that way, with so much adoration.
She never noticed she halted her tracks, you just seemed so immersed and in another world with him. Like other people weren't even there. Like she wasn't even there.
“Poppy!” She snapped out of her trance when you waved at her to come over. She sucked in a breath and plastered a tight-lipped smile, her head was only turned to you when she approached.
“Hi.” Her tone was edged with irritation that she cringed when she heard her voice vibrate through her ears – she masked it with a cough and folded her hands behind her back.
“You know Sebastian, right? I mean of course you do, everyone knows everybody in this school.” You giggled and glanced at Sebastian who was looking at you with equal adoration.
Poppy’s eyes almost twitched with how giddy you sounded. Her eyes turned to the freckled brunette and gave him a nod of acknowledgement with a tight smile still plastered on her face.
“Good day, Poppy.” He nodded his head back.
“I’ve heard of your endeavors with poachers – the school loves to talk, you know how it is. I do hope you’d let me help sometime, I’d be happy to.”
No, no, you aren’t allowed – this adventure is for us only. I don’t want you to join us.
This is special to me. For us. I don’t want you to ruin it. I don't want you to take her away from me.
She was my friend first. She’s mine.
Poppy’s head swirled in panic as she thought about it, she wouldn’t be alone with you anymore. She wouldn’t be able to hold you while fighting off poachers – she wouldn’t be able to reach for your comfort and you wouldn’t be able to reach hers. Her head felt like it was underwater, she couldn't hear what you were saying but she could see you speaking to Sebastian. Please, please don’t say yes.
“I mean, we do need extra help – maybe you could join us if you aren’t busy.”
“I’ll wait for an owl then, Pet.” He cheekily grins as he grabs a hold of your hand, giving your knuckles a swift kiss before turning to leave.
Poppy quickly hid her disgust when he called you pet. You deserved a better nickname, she couldn’t believe that you’d let him call you that. You’re more than that. She was expecting that you’d be disgusted but when she looked at you – you were absolutely smitten.
“So, you and Sebastian, huh?” Poppy tried to be teasing – she tried to be her cheery self but it was hard to. It was hard to, especially with how big your smile was right now.
You hummed at first before shrugging your shoulders, “We’re just friends.”
“Friends who give each other nicknames and kiss each other’s cheeks?” She winced, her jealousy spilled from those words.
“We can do that too, if you want, there’s no harm in it.”
Her words were suddenly stuck in her throat, she felt her cheeks heat up. As if it couldn’t make her situation worse, you suddenly leaned in and gave her a quick peck on her rosy cheek. She let out a squeak, backing away from you suddenly.
Poppy held her cheek in shock, her whole face was now red, she felt the heat underneath her palm as well as the goosebumps you left.
“See, no harm in it!” You proudly say, smiling brightly at her.
You’re right – there’s no harm in it, she could use this to her advantage. To make you fall for her before anybody else does.
“O-okay!”
When she asked you to save the snidgets with her and you agreed. And during that she decided to tell her biggest secret. Her parents were poachers and instead of you turning her away like she thought you would, you didn’t.
You accepted her, told her she isn’t like her parents. Ever since that, you only grew closer, especially with how the years came by. People in school had already started a rumor and even the Professors were supportive, they wanted you to hang-out with her more because she’s a good influence and that you made her come out of her shell. Because of you, she started to talk to others too, you got her out of her fear. Out of her head.
You were both in 7th year and still inseparable.
Every morning she’d sought you out, you would both walk to class together hand-in-hand. She’d still feel shy about it but you proudly paraded her around, sometimes you’d even drag her out to what she was doing to take her to Hogsmeade, just to hang-out and talk. It was a dream come true for Poppy and you called her your best friend, which was fine. She’s okay with being your best friend for now, she’ll find the courage soon enough.
But of course, everything has to come to an end eventually – she didn’t even remember when it had happened or maybe she did. She just didn’t wanna accept it.
She just thought that she would never lose you.
It was autumn and noon that day, the sun was starting to set as she finished up with grooming Highwing, smoothing down her feathers when you came walking up to her.
“Sebastian kissed me.”
It made her heart drop, you sounded absolutely head-over-heels. She held out hope that maybe – it wasn’t what she thought it was. She gripped the brush tightly on her hand as she tried to distract herself.
“What’s the harm in it? You’re both friends – just like us except that I’m your best friend, of course.” She almost sneered the words out. Highwing noticed her distress that she started to nudge her head to Poppy’s, squawking to calm her down.
“He kissed me on the lips and told me he loved me.”
“And what did you say?”
“That I love him too.”
Poppy felt tears stinging the corner of her eyes, she bit her lip as she continued to smooth down Highwing’s feathers but her motions were quick – as if doing that would somehow stop the tears and stop her heart from shattering completely.
“Poppy, you’re still my best friend even if— even if I’m with Sebastian now. Nothing would change that, I promise, nothing will come between that.”
Poppy quietly sucked in a breath, her head slowly nodding before turning to you completely. “I know, however if you spend more time with your boyfriend, I’d have Highwing peck you.” She smiled, it didn’t reach her eyes, she could feel her throat bobbing and it hurt. A lot.
You hugged her, almost tackling her to the ground as you laughed.
She’s going to be patient – maybe you both won’t even last. She’d still be by your side and you would be too, right?
She was so wrong, it was so wrong, everything was going so wrong.
She thought it would still be the same, she thought you would still walk to class together or that you would drag her to Hogsmeade or in the Room of Requirement in the vivarium. Her safe haven, safe space, you – were all taken by Sebastian.
She’d look for you everywhere and you’d be with him, in your own little world. It’s like she didn’t even exist anymore, you just left after promising that you wouldn’t. She’s trying to be understanding – she really is. Graduation was coming after all. Will she still be able to say goodbye to you?
Time passes, she just watches you drift away more. She never tried to mend the friendship anymore, never tried to win you back or to approach you anymore. But she waited, waited for you to come back, waited for you in Hogsmeade, waited for you in the vivarium.
She kept waiting and hoping.
But you never came back.
She saw you with Sebastian, smiling so brightly, she watched you kiss him. It made her heart wrench and her stomach churn — she watched you excuse yourself from him and made your way to Professor Weasley.
Poppy took this opportunity to approach Sebastian, she lightly tapped his shoulder causing him to turn around. He had grown – all of you had.
“Poppy! Congratulations, we finally made it out!” He cheeringly said, pulling her to a hug, she awkwardly patted his back, muttering congratulations to him as well. When they pulled back from each other her lips were pressed in a thin line, her eyes still trained to your figure.
“Take care of her for me, will you?” Sebastian followed her gaze, a genuine smile plastered on his face as he nodded enthusiastically before looking back at Poppy.
“Of course, I promise that I’ll protect your best friend.”
“If– if there’s going to be a time – to which I know it wouldn’t happen,” She swallowed the lump in her throat, “If you aren’t happy with her anymore, can you just bring her back to me instead of hurting her?”
Poppy watched you walk back to them, you smiled brightly when you caught her eyes. Sebastian was quiet for a moment, “Yeah, of course.”
You hurriedly ran back, arms spread as you almost tackled her to the ground. Poppy let out a laugh, even if there were tears running down her cheeks she hugged you back, tightly. She missed this. She missed you.
You grew concerned when you saw tears running down her cheeks that you wiped it away. For once, Poppy turned brave, she kissed your palms — she had missed it, she had missed you and your warmth, and your laughter and your eyes.
“I’m sorry— I’m sorry if I ignored you,”
“Come on now, there’s no need for that. If he makes you happy then I’m happy.” Poppy smiled, brushing your hair out of your face. You looked at her, a sad smile in your face as you hugged her again tightly. She relished it, knowing that this might be the last time.
You both stayed that way for a while.
Now years later, Poppy could look back to it and laugh but it would still pinch her heart.
She stood by the altar, her eyes fixated on you as you walked down the aisle. She felt her heart beating out of her chest — you looked ethereal. The years turned you into a woman but you were still how she met you — strong, reliable, you.
As you neared the altar, she stepped to the side. She watched Sebastian take you by the hand. A content smile was on her face when you looked at her and gave her an excited smile.
Of course, she couldn’t help it – she would imagine herself instead of Sebastian, she would imagine herself waiting at the altar for you, she would imagine herself kissing you instead of him. She would’ve loved being your bride.
She would’ve loved being yours.
The ring on her finger felt heavy, she glanced at her own husband who was Sebastian's best man.
Ominis Gaunt.
Of course she felt happy with him but she couldn’t help it. She couldn’t.
Maybe it was her own fault, for not confessing earlier. Maybe it was her fault for being a coward. Or maybe she didn’t deserve to be more than your best friend. Maybe she didn’t deserve to be your bride and was more fit to be your maid of honor.
Maybe she didn’t deserve you at all.
That’s why the Gods themselves were punishing her this way.