#poor soap

i dont know what controlled me to make this

(ghost had cried when he saw soap fall off)

Price: Shut your fuckin trap, Sergeant.

Soap: Hey Nik, why do *you* call Graves "babygirl"?

Nik: *slowly grins*

~later~

Gaz: Shit mate, what happened to you?

Soap, looking shell-shocked: Gaz. Gaz look at me. Look--are you looking? Never... never challenge Nikolai's sense of shame or common decency. The man does not have either.

Gaz: Forget I asked.

But Johnny’s so reluctant cause he had told himself for so long (so fucking long) that Ghost would never want a relationship. That he’d have to settle with what they already had cause there was never gonna be anything more to it.

And he was fine with it. Had made his peace with such a thing but then here Ghost is, telling him he wants an actual relationship??

Soap didn’t know how to deal with it. He didn’t know how to comprehend a man he thought so unreachable suddenly being within reach out of nowhere.

He can’t deal with the knowledge and he’s so fucking scared. What if it’s a joke? What if he does let himself have this and Ghost pulls away? He can’t go back to how they were if Ghost decides Johnny’s not what he wants in the end.

soap slowly realizing that he really won't be enough for ghost, he won't ever amount to what ghost and roach had... the pain he feels when he finds out ghost kind of blames him for it, and he just feels helpless and he understands that's why he just stays away now... No use being aroung ghost and trying to make him happy if he's really not the one ghost wants :((

I can't 😭 it's such a good idea for angst, unrequited or one sided ghostsoap never misses!

I saw this, had intentions to respond and then completely forgot about it and I’m so sorry. But!

Soap would be fucking devastated if he ever caught on to the fact that Ghost blamed him for Roach’s death. He’d be beyond heart broken that the man he loved, his best friend, blamed him for something that was beyond their control. Wished that it was him that had died instead of Roach.

And knowing Soap he’d start wishing the same thing cause all he ever wants is Simon’s happiness and his team’s safety. They’re all he has left and it absolutely kills him to know that he’s the reason one of them is hurt, even if it’s not a physical wound.

So he stays away. At first just around base and during missions but he finds himself unconsciously following the man more often than not. He can’t help it really, it was their whole thing before… well. Price has been trying to help him and Ghost get through it in his own way, Gaz sticking by his side and also trying his best.