watching criminal minds and realizing how much shit hotch has to explain in his reports😭😭 morgan kicking down doors, rossi insulting local pd, garcia hacking sites she’s not supposed to, the reason gideon insulted unsubs- like give this man a break .
this is excluding all the times reid gets kidnapped, shot, injured, taken hostage, sent to jail etc like that’s a whole other hassle LOL
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Warning: spoilers?? Kinda sad?? Makes sense tho ya know.
SO! In season 4, episode 1, Of Criminal Minds, we meet the British lady that Aaron Hotchner "liassed" with. She looks A LOT like Haley right?? And we can tell that mr. Disaster bi Aaron is smitten, cause blonds apparently are his "thing".
Now, at the end of the episode she dies on the operating table. Haley dies in later seasons. And if that ain't some painful fucking foreshadowing I dont know what is.
Aaron hotchner was written to be hurt, abandoned, and beaten down by life. And the simple fact that he can keep his son... that's the only happiness he'll ever have, Hotch was only ever written to be better than his father when everything in his life was pushing to make him worse than a monster.
Featuring: Hotch x Female Reader Setting: Season 5
Warnings: SMUT, small violent flashbacks
A/N: The concept became a bit longer than the request, I hope this is alright. Also I have been working on four other stories, so this one took me a sec to wrap my head around. Thanks for the request! xoxo Stu
Italics are flashbacks, bold is flashback inside a flashback
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Aaron held his chest as he caught his breath, feeling the tightness from the healing wounds yet again. He was alone in his apartment, trying to do some push ups. He was so frustrated with struggling through every step of his recovery. Aaron Hotchner did NOT do mediocre. He exhaled, deciding that he just had to focus up and put more effort in at his next Physical Therapy appointment the following day.
You came home after work to change and shower before heading over to Aaron’s place for dinner. He said he wanted to cook for you since you had been helping him through his recovery process. You were touched that he wanted to spend time with you, besides just needing your help. It had been a month since he had been released from the hospital and neither of you had brought up that night since.
It was twilight when you had rolled Aaron to the passenger side of your Chevy Traverse outside of the hospital. He hadn’t said much, but you could feel the darkness that had settled inside of him. The fact that he had asked you to drive him home meant that he didn’t want his team to see him still so frail. This strong man had been attacked and left to bleed out in his own home. Though you knew he was more evolved than this simple explanation: his ego and his moral compass had taken a severe beating.
You had always been very fond of Hotch, but as you knew him both professionally and socially you found it hard to understand why he was asking for your help. Perhaps it was because you weren’t in the FBI and you weren’t family. When Haley left him, you got the impression that he had lost a lot of their mutual friends as well. Being a federal prosecutor gave you more insight into Aaron the man versus Hotch the legend.
He was a stubborn sonofabitch, you reminded yourself as he refused your help getting into your waiting vehicle. You tsk-ed your tongue and shook your head as an orderly took the wheelchair back inside. Once you were driving, heading towards his apartment, you felt the tension building in him once more.
You knew you were going to be late to dinner, so you called Hotch on your cell. “Hey, it’s me.” You began, the incoming excuse coating your voice. “I am stuck in traffic, sorry. I am going to be another twenty- thirty minutes, Aaron.”
”Uh, that’s actually perfect, because I think I burnt the garlic bread.” His voice was light, he almost sounded like he could laugh. “I am going to have to run and grab some fresh bread from the market.”
You were relieved, “Alright then, please don’t go to too much trouble. It’s just me, after all. I don’t need all the trimmings.”
”Nonsense, Y/N.” Hotch’s voice was certain. “Just get here safely.”
Aaron tried to pay attention to what case Y/N was discussing, but once she had parked outside his home, he began to flashback. The shadows inside the apartment. The righteousness in Foyet’s voice going on about the deal he had denied. His certainty in his abilities never wavered, not until the first slash found its way into his flesh. The grappling between the serial killer and the FBI agent was a blur. Eventually Hotch was down and he was not getting back up.
Fear flooded his mind, not being about to see Jack again. Not being able to see Y/N again, though he doubted she saw him as he saw her. Now he would never get the chance to show her. Mostly it was the pain, coupled with the frustration that though he had done the right thing, he was still going to lose.
She was calling to him, shaking his shoulder back to the present. Aaron looked into Y/N’s concerned face as if she had appeared out of thin air. His dark eyes softened, reaching to pat her hand on his chest. “Would it be too much trouble to stay at your place tonight?” He asked quietly. “I don’t think I can go back inside just yet.”
Her eyes were asking questions, but her mouth was a soft, sad smile. “Of course, whatever you need.” Y/N let her hand slide down into his lap, holding his larger one protectively.
You were trying not to get your expectations too high. You had shared one night together. There were hours upon hours of time spent together since then and now, yet no inkling that Aaron wanted more. There wasn’t any hint that he wanted ANYTHING. As a lawyer you appreciated his composure, as a one night stand harboring romantic feelings, you detested it.
You parked your silver SUV in front of the well maintained grounds of Hotch’s place. You wore heels to make up for the height difference and to give your confidence a boost. Sometimes outfits were for every party involved, not just the wearer. You were anxiously fondling the bottle of wine you brought as you waited for the numerous locks to snap open. Then there he was, Mr. tall dark and handsome with a law degree and gun permits on the side.
His mouth did the almost smile he had been perfecting. But you could feel it in his eyes on your dress as well. Butterflies be damned.
You had not cleaned your condo and hadn’t remembered until you were giving Aaron Hotchner the grand tour. You quickly shoved some laundry in to the hamper and cleared the assortment of beauty supplies off the bathroom counter. You showed him the guest room, ensuring he had everything he might need. Once you had set his bag on the bed, you felt his hands on your shoulders. He carefully removed your long coat, tossing it onto the settee in the corner.
You turned slowly, your brows raised in confusion of his intimate gesture. His eyes were heavy, and a sly smile was on his lips. “I just want to make sure you’re comfortable with me staying here, Y/N. All things considered, I could be endangering you by just seeing you.”
“Aaron, I think between the two of us,” You began as he closed the distance between your two bodies. “We can make it through the night unharmed.” Your voice trailed into a whisper. His presence was intimidating, but his body was warm. You could smell his aftershave as he leaned down to reach your face.
“Y/N, thank you,” Aaron whispered into your ear as his breath snaked over your skin. You took his mouth without another over analyzed second.
Dinner was impressive; three courses each more delicious than the last. You guessed that the tiramisu was purchased, but Aaron did an excellent job of plating it. You would have guessed he had culinary training on his already decorated resume. You moaned with pleasure as you took your first bite. Aaron smiled at your enthusiasm.
“This is to die for, Aaron.”
“Thanks, it was impossible to get the recipe from Rossi, so he just brought some over this morning.” He chuckled. You knew Dave Rossi from trying some of the BAU’s cases. You also knew that he was one of the few people Hotch trusted, especially now.
“How’s he doing?” You asked making conversation. “Writing anything that I can take on my next cruise?” You and Hotch kept up the easy chatter the rest of the night, polishing off two bottles of wine between you. The warmth of the alcohol was pushing expectations back into your casual thoughts.
Aaron had walked you backwards until your calves brushed against the guest bed. His mouth driving the kiss. Your hands splayed against his chest as he held you closely, almost painfully so. Quickly he was unbuttoning your blouse, not losing contact with your lips. You felt dizzy with the hunger he shared for you. Your own desires fueling the impulsiveness. Your hands wrapped around his neck, scared to fall backwards.
After he had removed your top, his sure hands moved to your waist. He deftly picked you off your feet and tossed you onto the bed. You thought you heard him whisper a gentle “I need you” as he stood. Aaron’s breathing was ragged, you knew he shouldn’t be straining himself just yet. You let the worries float away as he wrenched off your dress pants and panties in one quick motion. His dark eyes were drinking in your body as your nervous laugh calmed the moment.
Aaron was lost in her body. The smooth skin, the imperfections that made her Y/N. He was learning her body as it was, giving him more to adore. His heartbeat was stuck in his throat as he slid his suitcase off the side of the comforter. Y/N was laying there, exposed and waiting. He lingered above her, scared to move forward, but unable to stop himself in the same instant. His hands took a thigh each, roughly gliding up their curves.
He locked on to her eyes, watching them flutter in arousal. She nodded him onward, whimpering as the chills shook her naked body. Once his hands looped back to find the orbs of her ass, he palmed them, falling to his knees at the end of the bed. He dragged her pelvis to his needy mouth, diving into her folds. She threw her head back calling to him, “Yes, Aaron, Goddamn!”
Her desire was intoxicating, coating his rough skin. He dragged his right hand over the curve of her stomach, the arch of her rib cage and on to the peak of her breast. With his left hand he gently spread her lips, to reveal the tiny bud, his sure finger focusing on its satisfaction. She was loud, though she was trying to hold in her pleasure. His tongue dipped inside of her core, as his finger rubbed her further. When he switched hands, left on her taut nipple and right on her clit was when her breathing began to hitch.
He placed his two knuckles bent over her entrance and lapped diligently at her bundle of nerves, humming into her ecstasy. “Oh, God, Aaron fuck-ing Hotchner,” She bleated. “daaaaamn, hmmmmm.” Her naked body shook, his hands finding her hips, sliding her back completely on to the duvet. He stood, his hands slippery, rushing to remove his belt. To be inside her warmth. Y/N was gorgeous even after an orgasm and he just had to feel her himself.
“So what’s on your agenda for the rest of the week?” Hotch asked, clearing the plates. His face was as relaxed as you could remember seeing him, which gave you confidence. You stood, grabbing the silverware and glasses.
“Preparing for a few parole hearings, I shouldn’t be in the courtroom again until next week.” You explained, following him to the the kitchen sink. You watched as he began loading the dishwasher. With slight inspiration you, less than gracefully, slid backwards onto the island counter top. You sat with the heels of your shoes on the cabinets below. Your cocktail dress ended at your knees, making the back of your thighs visible to the hunched over Hotch.
He finished his task and closed the machine. His face had become discouragingly blank. You leaned back on to your palms, displaying yourself unashamedly. Thanking and cursing the wine as your breath waited for his next move.
You were a mess; a knot of exposed wires set to send a charge pummeling through your body at any possible moment. Aaron was now as naked as you were. His body was firm with muscle, despite the few bandages he was in great shape. His chest was surprisingly not hairy, as his arms were rather so. His strong hand found your ankle, and slowly traced the bones with his finger tips. Your body jerked against the teasing, but he held your leg firmly.
Slowly he inched his hands up your quaking extremities, causing every profanity you knew to come to the tip of your tongue. But soon enough his mouth had found it before you would have given him a piece of your mind. He was taking another piece of your body instead. His kiss was deep, he held your face with his left hand. His thumb caressing the apple of your cheek up towards your ear and back again.
His long body covered you like a shield. Slowly you lifted your legs, pulling his hips towards yours by looping around his waist. He paused, his dark eyes searching you. Aaron’s look softened as you stroked his face, “Please, Aaron.” His determination returned to him, soon his face was buried in the crook of your neck.
His large hands pulled your pelvis up and off the bed. He spun you 90 degrees so your body was propped up on the pillows. Your glistening lips waiting for his entry. He secured the protection and centered himself. As his length nudged your core, you tossed your head back. In a mind-blowing instant you were filled, your walls tingling with the penetration. A whimper escaped your lips, but Aaron kissed it away, rolling his hips in a deepening rhythm.
He remained across the tiny room, casually leaning against the counter top. You really didn’t have any conversation starters left. You just wanted him. You suddenly felt self conscious sitting alone, blatantly flirting. So you rocked forward, clutching the edge of the counter with your sweaty palms. You stared at the floor, hoping for something to break the tension.
“Y/N?” His deep voice called. “What just happened? You completely shut down.” His hand had found the crux of your arm, his palm was warm. You didn’t look up at first, only after a few clicks of your heels against the wood.
“Aaron, I’m at a loss.” You began, voice clear and face a mask. “I thought we were great together. Actually I thought it was fantastic. But here we are, a MONTH later, tiptoeing around each other in your kitchen.” His eyebrows furrowed as his mouth tensed.
Aaron had to stop, his body was screaming at him while he continued to slide his length in and out of Y/N’s sensitive heat. He groaned and hid his face in the sheen on her neck. He kissed her as the rhythm of their bodies slowed. He gasped, trying to control his heartbeat. There were scabs on his torso that he knew could be reopened at any moment.
After calming down, he slowly withdrew from Y/N’s body. He drooped onto his side, but continued to kiss her slick flesh. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.” Aaron begged her. “I just need a few moments.” She rolled to face him, her shorter body fitting below his chin now.
“Can I do anything?” Her voice was concerned, but not pitying. “Do you need some meds, or water or anything?” Her voice asked as her hands roamed his strained body, gently massaging him.
“I know, this is ridiculous.” Aaron said reassuringly. “I just wanted to tell you how much you mean to me. This isn’t just about the recovery, but believe me I am beyond grateful for your aid. This goes back before that night.” Aaron looked away for a moment; Foyet’s laughing face had crept into his mind. He willed his mind to clear, to focus on this beautiful woman in front of him.
She tilted her head, seeing the battle of emotions play out on his features. “Aaron, I am happy to help you, this wasn’t just about that night for me either.” She loosened her grip on the counter top and pawed at his jacket.
“I didn’t mean that night, Y/N.” Aaron started darkly. “I meant before the, uh, the attack. Before Foyet. I wanted you then, but I need you now.” His voice rose in pitch with his confession. His throat constricted with his exposed heart.
She sighed, “Thank God,” it was nearly a whisper. “I’m right here. Are you in for it all?” Her steady gaze challenged him.
You didn’t want to stop, but knew it was the best thing for the recovering stabbing victim to take it easy. “I am guessing your doctor didn’t say you were allowed to do all this, quite yet?” You teased the grown man ignoring medical advice. His soft chuckle met you snuggling against his chest.
“Not exactly,” he admitted. You smiled up at him, the darkness of the room barely noticeable after the time spent within. “Please stay with me? I can’t be alone, not tonight.” His eyes were endless and pooling. He kissed you hard before you could answer. His arms held you close, leaving indentations from his bandages on your skin.
