#poor dm

I think this is my Game master when my party just go "oh look at that :D" on the right in Vallaki while the plot is running wild on the left.

We are sorry. We have a ton of fun i promise.

(This is also me when i see Rictavio having fun with my friends)

Pls dont spoil me on CoS its my first run :0

M (playing Kjell): Or as I like to call it, Wolf-f-f-f-fffl.

Tati (playing Seraph): Wolfle.

Andy (playing Una): Waffle.

Marijn (playing Godric): You could pronounce it Wolfy, if the double ll acted the way it does in Spanish.

Me: do you have any long distance weapon's you can use?

Barbarian: What no?! You know me I only do close range!

Me: ... Well that bardic inspo sure is gonna be handy now...

Barbarian: *to the Dm* how much does the dragon we saved weigh?

Dm: about 250 pounds... Why

Me: hell yeah

Barbarian:

Me:

Barbarian: I'm going to throw him.

Jack: *Yells, absolutely fucking done with Rats* "GOD FUCKIN DAMMIT JAMES YOU RAT BASTARD"

GM: You walk and see a huge Hole! you can't see the exact depth but it's two meters long! What do you do?

Paladin: How about the gnome? We could throw him ! I'm strong enough!

Bard: Yeah! Nice idea!

Gnome: errrr....

GM: ....Don't forget your late looting...

Elf: We got some rope and planks guys!

Bard: Oooh! We can tie you to the rope and the throw you!

Paladin : Then you tie the rope to something the other side and we can pass !!!

Gnome: What if I fell?

Bard: WE GOT THE ROPE TO CATCH YOU!

Elf : Guys listen plea....

Paladin/Bard: Let's go!

GM:...... Ok..... Roll the strength dice.... You fail... The gnome fell but you catch the rope.

Paladin : Let's go again!

Elf:......

*Rolls the dice*

GM: You... Did it!

Paladin: YEEEET!!!

Gnome: there is nothing to tie the rope...

Bard: we're doomed...

Elf : SHUT UP!!

GM: YOU GOT FREAKING PLANKS!

Elf: YEAH! We got three freaking 2m20 wood planks! We could just walk!!!!

•" so you spank the monster with the sharp end of the sword, it's kinda thinking hey you'd be a good daddy." "It's right"

• Daddy Master

• " I was just caressed"

• "Atherton Zeddicious Knotley-Whitpeak has fallen and he can't get up" " and that's why I got life alert"

• " I'm a balleYEETa'

• "This is a worthy a-daddy-versary in the war of love"

• "you survive but the wind rolls around and caresses your neck and you hear a faint ' fuck you"

• an elf princess using the pick up line "did you sit in a pile of sugar because you've got a pretty sweet ass" on a huge female half orc bar tender just to get a free drink-then it works.

• yelling "GNOME TOSS" and processing to start a game of catch using a halfling.

• a halfling trying to follow what the elf did and flirt with the bartender saying "girl you thicker than a bowl of oatmeal" then being immediately rejected with "I don't serve children."

• intimidating a halfling into skinning something for you.

•someone else seducing a halfling into skinning something.

•halfling always aiming to the knee caps.

• having to do a constitution check for calling the DM daddy master.

• one person getting an advantage taken and the other getting a disadvantage for spitting hot sauce packets across the table.

• killing a giant cat monster then backflipping while dabbing.

• killing a giant cat monster by puncturing its skull with your heels.

• someones goal being to seduce as many people as possible.

• "my man J.C." in reference to Julius Caesar.

• asking which cart has children just to avoid them.

• muttering "why would I risk my life just to save someone else?" Then being heard.

• smacking the halfling after she doesn't skin the monster well.

• Atherton Zeddicious Knotley-Whitpeak.