#poor diluc

“Brother! Eula!” The bluenette takes a seat at the counter next to her. Furina follows suit, sitting on the other side of him, with a grin too wide signaling she's up to no good.

Diluc looks over at Eula, as if to say this is all your fault. She rolls her eyes, mumbling overdramatic under her breath.

“Good evening, Monsieur Diluc.” Furina curtsies gracefully before taking a seat. “I’ll have whatever Monsieur Kaeya is having.”

Diluc raises an eyebrow. “Um, aren't you a little too young to be drinking?”

“Luc, did you forget? She was the Hydro Archon. She's way older than all of us.”

“Ah, yes. Pardon my memory lapse.” Diluc facepalms. “What's with all of these archons looking so young? I swear, we should do some sort of judgment test–”

Furina gasps dramatically. “Excuse me, Monsieur Diluc, but I’m not stupid–”

“I didn't say you were stupid. I was talking about testing one’s judgment. It's not even the–”

“Hmph, still offended,” Furina declares, flipping her bob nonchalantly. “I come from the City of Justice, after all! Judgment is my middle name!”

The redhead starts to regret their truce. It's as if chaos has turned its ugly head upon him.

Furina continues. “But I’m willing to forgive you of your error in… judgment, if you'd just serve me a– uh,” her voice lowers into a whisper toward Kaeya, “what was it called again?” He whispers back. “Ah, a Death After Noon then, if you’d be so kind.”

Diluc has already whipped up two before she's finished talking and offers them over. “Consider this first one on the house. For the truce and all.” 

“Ooh! All is forgiven,” She says to the redhead, taking a sip and dramatically sighing. “Ah, this is just divine! Monsieur Kaeya, you were absolutely right, this is refreshing and…” Her voice trails off, as she tries to think of the word, while tapping her index finger along the corner of her mouth.

“Perfect?”

“No, that's not the word, although it's pretty close.” She tilts her head and smiles innocently. “I forgot the word I was thinking of. Not to worry, it’ll come to me later. Monsieur Diluc, I must say, bravo to your craft, I do enjoy this!” Furina lifts her glass. “May I have another?”

“You’ve already… finished it?”

She hands her empty glass over with a sheepish grin. “Yup! Ehehe…”

Venti waves him down from across the room. “Good evening, Master Diluc! May I get another round, please?” He and Dahlia are surprisingly behaving themselves. It's almost uncanny how tame they are, considering who else is around.

“Well, well.” Diluc heads over and witnesses the bard placing some actual, legitimate Mora on the table. “I’m pleasantly surprised to see you two here, as paying customers.”

“Hey! I’ll have you know, back in the day, songs and ballads were considered forms of payment–”

“Not in my tavern, it's not.”

Venti looks deflated for a moment, but chuckles to himself. “Well, it looks like you already had your hands full, which means we would just be adding to the plate. We can’t be contributing more chaos to the mix, now, can we, Dahlia?” Venti nudges the Deacon and winks.

“Oh… yes! Indeed, you're right!” Dahlia laughs aloud.

Eventually, Kaeya’s “entourage” shows up– Childe, Shenhe, Escoffier, and Yelan. Diluc doesn’t know what else to call them, because they seem like such a ragtag group, so “entourage” it is. They request a Death After Noon as well, since Kaeya insists it’s the best drink ever, and that his charming brother is the best at crafting them. For a moment, it’s almost heartwarming, and the redhead considers giving them all their first drink on the house– except he decides against it, saving it only for the chaotic duo who had made their truce official. Too many free drinks, and that could cause problems…

There’s only one person who disagrees with Kaeya’s claim…

“It’s alright, but a little too weak for me,” the ginger says after tanking the entire drink in one fell swoop. Slamming the glass down on the counter, he turns to the bartender. “Got anything stronger? Like.. Snezhnayan Fire Water?”

“No.”

Kaeya suddenly has a mischievous gleam in his eye. “Hey, Childe? Speaking of Snezhnayan Fire Water, do you want to hear something–”

“Stop.” Diluc unclenches his jaw, trying not to grit his teeth. “Not another word.”

“You don't even know what I was going to say.”

“If it's even remotely close to what I think you're going to say, I’ll have you all thrown out.”

Kaeya pouts dramatically. “Fine. You’re no fun.”

“Who just gave you and Miss Furina your first drink on the house?”

“Fair enough. Although I do remember Charles saying you have a special bottle of Snezhnayan Fire Water in the cellar… right, Charles?”

Charles glances at both Kaeya and Diluc, seeing the redhead’s fiery stare, and he shrugs, as if to say don’t drag me into this.

The brothers exchange glances. 

“C’mon, Luc… it’s time to celebrate. It’s not like you’re going to be drinking it–”

“Alright, fine… just for tonight, I’ll bring it out.”

“Excellent.”

Furina grabs Kaeya’s hand all of a sudden. “Hey, let's go upstairs!”

Before Diluc can say another word, they're already at the foot of the stairs, Furina dragging Kaeya along while he trips over his feet. Shenhe and Escoffier follow while Childe and Yelan stay at the counter to wait for their drinks. Charles whips up a drink for Yelan.

Diluc leans over and whispers to Eula, “Can you keep an eye on everything while I go downstairs?” She nods. He gives Childe a suspicious glance before heading outside.

“Hey, Yelan? You’re from Liyue, right?”

“Indeed I am,” she replies.

“How is Yanfei doing?”

Yelan thinks for a moment. “You know, I haven't seen her much lately. We’ve both been fairly busy, after all. But you should come and visit Liyue sometime. It’s a beautiful place, especially during Lantern Rite season.”

“That sounds nice. Perhaps I will.”

Childe interjects while twirling a small butterfly knife in his hand. “So I have a question.”

“Yes?”

“How did you get together with him?”

Eula doesn’t answer, because it’s none of his damn business. But she watches in fascination at the way Childe flips around the weapon so casually, like he could do it with his eyes closed. She hopes he doesn’t, for the sake of his fingers. And his eyes.

Just then, Albedo enters with Klee, who’s absolutely mesmerized with everything she sees.

“Oh, wow– I’ve never been here before! Look at all the pretty bottles behind the counter…”

Albedo pulls her close and kneels down. “Now Klee, you’re only with me because I broke you free from solitary confinement… and Jean needed to take care of some things, okay?” The Spark Knight smiles innocently and waves at the Spindrift Knight. Albedo turns and stands back up. 

“Oh– hey, Eula. Where's Kaeya? I thought he was here already.”

Eula points upstairs.

“May I get you something to drink?” Charles asks. “And something for the lil’ miss as well?”

“Maybe some grape juice for Klee.” He looks at Eula. “What would you recommend?”

“Me?”

“Well, Kaeya has been trying to get me drunk, but I don't think it's possible.”

“Are you trying to get drunk?”

Albedo thinks hard for a moment. “You know, sometimes I wish I could. Like when Kaeya gets crazy–”

Eula interrupts. “Isn't that all the time?” 

“Somewhat, now that Furina has been visiting.” The Chief Alchemist cracks a smile. “Honestly, the place is a mess since Neuvillette made it storm so hard earlier. Thank goodness he was able to remove all of the extra water from there. It would have led to mold and mildew problems… and it was quite strange watching how he did it, too.” Eula sees a different expression in his eyes, as though he wants to study Neuvillette himself and his Hydro powers.

“Yikes,” the bluenette replies. “I almost don't want to ask.”

It’s Childe’s turn to interrupt. “You could always get a Death After Noon, supposedly that's Kaeya’s favorite drink,” he says to Albedo.

“I did try it once.”

The ginger raises an eyebrow. “And?”

“I can see why he likes it. But it's not really my kind of drink.”

Childe looks amused. “Ah, comrade.” He flings his arm around Albedo’s shoulder, making the Alchemist flinch a bit. “Let me show you the finer things in life. When Diluc comes back with the Snezhnayan Fire Water, I’ll get you a glass.”

=====

Meanwhile, upstairs…

Kaeya’s fingertips drum along the table. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” Furina replies in between hiccups. Escoffier and Shenhe look at one another, shrugging.

“Oh?” There’s a gleam in Kaeya’s eye as he leans forward, steepling his fingers under his chin. “I dare you… to stand on this table and give your favorite performance.”

Furina’s visibly shaken for a moment. “I… I never thought you’d ask!!” With another hiccup, she stands on the table, a bit wobbly at first, making the Cryo allogenes nervous. But then she starts dancing and singing a drunken rendition of La Vaguelette, so they lean back, not wanting to interrupt her performance. 

During the chorus, Furina does a dramatic pose, not realizing it’s the pose that activates her Salon Solitaire, who upon being summoned, are confused at all of the activity around them.

Movements. Lights. Laughter. Singing. Dancing. Arm wrestling.

Looking every which way, they’re not sure why they were summoned, but they notice their Lady Furina clumsily moving about. Uncertain whether she's in danger, they decide to do what they do best–

Shoot anything and everything that looks like a threat. Which, right now, looks like everything.

The tavern suddenly erupts into chaos as the trio teleports downstairs, shooting water everywhere like the local fire department needed backup. Soaking wet patrons scream into their steins, before heading for the door. The drunker ones lean into their bottles, some with half lidded eyes ready to sleep, a few wondering why they’re suddenly showering with their clothes on, and others laughing at the commotion, wondering themselves what's happening.

Klee is having the time of her life, for her first time in a tavern.

Diluc has just opened the door, returning with the Snezhnayan Fire Water, when he realizes he shouldn't have. In fact, he's reminded of a very grim fact– he shouldn't have even worked tonight. Maybe he shouldn't have even gotten out of bed today either.