#pookiebears

hint: their initials are tbm

Dear Sociopaths,

My husband won't stop joking about my boyfriend's unfortunate incident, which happened because my boyfriend fell out my window naked trying to evade my husband, who had come home early. How do I get my jerky husband to read my mind, understand that he's joking about my boyfriend — whom I like a lot — and stop making insensitive jokes about my widdle pookie bear? Help!

There is no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs, so bring Clif Bars,

Deeply Unfortunate Pet Name Generator

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Dear Generator,

Your husband is right to make jokes about your w*ddle p**kie b**r. (Editor's note: We here at Dear Sociopaths do not tolerate offensive language.) Divorce your husband and let him make his probably hilarious jokes in peace. Feel free to keep encouraging your boyfriend to injure himself, though. He probably deserves it.

Love,

Sociopaths