#polysamderous

Logan came in just as the kettle began to sing. “Good morning, love,” he greeted.

“Good morning!” Roman answered, taking the kettle off the stove. As Logan crossed the kitchen, Roman poured hot water in his own mug and coffee into Logan’s. He passed it over, and Logan took a moment to observe as stars appeared on what had previously been a plain black mug. Roman bobbed his teabag up and down in the hot water, watching the color seep out.

“Something is on your mind,” Logan noted.

Roman nodded. “Mm-hm.”

“Care to tell me what it is?”

“Let me give you breakfast first.” Roman turned away, pulling the warm waffles from the toaster and placing them on a plate. He spread them with butter and Logan’s favorite jam, trying to calm his heart rate. It had spiked up again at the thought of what he had to confess.

When he turned back around, he thought he had himself under control. Logan had sat down at their small breakfast-nook table and was sipping his coffee. Roman sat down across from him with his tea and set the plate of waffles between them.

“Thank you,” Logan said fondly, picking up one waffle. Roman watched him take a bite, and as Logan chewed, Roman opened his mouth to confess.

“Let me preface this by saying that I love you,” Roman said. “I’ve never been happier than when I’ve been with you.”

“I love you too,” Logan answered sincerely. He didn’t ask what was wrong, and Roman appreciated that.

“I also want to say that it was an accident,” Roman added. “I didn’t mean to, and I was trying to fix it by myself, but I can’t, so I need your help. And I understand if you get upset, but please let me say my bit before you answer.”

Logan nodded seriously. He put the waffle and his coffee down, clasping his hands around the mug and giving Roman his full attention. “Alright.”

Roman took a deep breath. He’d rehearsed in his head what he wanted to say, and though he was feeling more than a little stage fright now that it came down to it, he remembered his lines. Quickly, almost rushing through the words, he said, “I have a crush. On someone else. I didn’t do it on purpose, and I haven’t acted on it, of course, and it doesn’t lessen the love I have for you in the slightest, but it’s there and I don’t know how to get rid of it.”

Roman finished abruptly, and silence hung between them for a few seconds as Logan first waited a moment to be sure Roman had finished speaking, and then processed what he had said.

“You have a crush on someone else,” Logan repeated. He didn’t sound upset, and not in his deliberately calm, upset-but-hiding-it sort of way that most people couldn’t tell from the real thing.

Roman nodded.

“And you wish to be rid of these feelings?”

“Yes!” Roman exclaimed. “Like I said, I’m very happy with you, and I don’t want to change that! I’ve been trying to be a good, faithful boyfriend and ignore the way I felt about Virgil, but the feelings only got stronger and stronger and I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, one way to be rid of an unwanted attraction is to gain closure,” Logan said. “Attempting to wish feelings away can be unfruitful when some part of you, however small, believes that a relationship might be possible. By informing your crush of your feelings for them, and being told concretely that they do not reciprocate, you are emotionally freed to move on.”

“Does that work?”

Logan shrugged. “In theory. I tried it on you, and you immediately deviated from the conversation I had anticipated.”

Roman was stunned speechless for a few seconds. Finally, he said, “You asked me out so that I would reject you?”

“Actually, I did not ask you out at all,” Logan corrected. “I informed you of my feelings toward you, and then you asked me out.”

“Should I have not done that?” Roman asked, feeling worried all over again.

“On the contrary,” Logan assured him. “I quite prefer dating you over not dating you. I simply had not expected you to reciprocate my feelings. I was quite pleased to be proven wrong.”

“I didn’t,” Roman admitted. “I mean, I loved you, but in a friend way, not a gay way. I mean, I am gay, so everything I do is always gay, but I wasn’t in love with you yet. That started during our first date.”

“Oh,” Logan said. He tilted his head slightly to the side and raised his eyes, clearly thinking back to the beginning of their relationship.

“What should I do about my crush on Virgil?” Roman asked, pulling Logan out of his recollections. “I could try the get rejected plan, but what if he doesn’t?”

Logan returned the question. “What would happen if you told him you were in love with him, and he reciprocated?”

Roman frowned. “I am not going to cheat on you with one of our best friends,” he nearly snapped.

“I am not suggesting that you do so,” Logan answered calmly. “Roman, have you ever heard of polyamory?”

Roman thought about it, his frown lightening slightly. “No. What is it?”

“The word comes from the greek polús or poly, meaning ‘many,’ and the latin amor, meaning ‘love,’” Logan began, “and is defined as the practice of or desire for an intimate relationship with more than one partner, with the consent of all parties involved.”

Roman blinked. “You can do that?”

“Yes, so long as everyone involved is aware of and consents to the polyamorous status of the relationship. Without that, then it does become cheating, but with proper consent and communication, a polyamorous relationship can be just as healthy and happy as any other relationship.”

Roman thought he could see where Logan was going with this, but he didn’t quite want to say it out loud yet. Instead, he asked, “So like being in a couple, but there are three people instead of two? And they’re all dating each other?”

“Yes, that is one example of a polyamorous relationship,” Logan agreed, giving Roman a smile. “It’s called an equal triad. Another example involving three people is called a vee. Rather than all three partners dating each other, one is simultaneously dating the other two, who are not dating each other.”

“Wouldn’t they get jealous of each other, if they’re both dating the same person?”

“It is possible,” Logan said. “However, in a polyamorous relationship, the members make an effort to practice compersion rather than jealousy. That is, they recognize that their partner’s other partner brings them joy, and so they are glad for the happiness their metamor — that is, their partner’s partner — brings their mutual partner.”

Roman must have been making a confused face, because Logan changed tactics. “Consider it like this: I myself am neutral on most disney movies. However, I have a certain fondness for your collection, because they make you happy, and I like seeing you happy. I am not jealous of the love you bestow upon those films, but rather, I appreciate them for the joy they bring into your life. Similarly, were you to start dating Virgil — in a way that was polyamorous rather than cheating, of course — I believe that I would not be jealous of him either, or upset that I had to ‘share’ you, but pleased that you were feeling joy due to that relationship.”

“Oh.”

Logan gave Roman a very gentle smile. “Do you think that you would like to pursue a romantic relationship with Virgil?”

“I mean…” Roman hesitated. “Yeah? I think so? If… if you’re really okay with it…”

“I think you should ask him out.” Logan picked up his coffee again, taking a long sip. Roman was quiet, and Logan added, “You may want to take some time first to further sort out your feelings with this added information, and that is quite understandable. I know that this wasn’t the direction you expected this conversation to take. Whatever you decide, I’ll support you.”

Roman nodded. “Thanks, Logan.”

“Any time, my love.”

Roman could feel himself blushing. To not have to say anything, he grabbed one of the waffles off the plate between them, taking a big bite.

~~~~~

“Could you tell me more about it? I wanna understand.”

“Certainly. What did you wish to know?”

Patton shrugged a bit. “Honestly, I’m not even sure where to start asking questions. It’s a really new concept for me. I didn’t know you even could date two people at once.”

“It’s not cheating, cause we all agreed to do it,” Virgil said.

“That’s a good starting point.” Patton considered. “Any new words I need to know?”

“Yes,” Logan answered. “The structure of our relationship is called a V, like the letter and Virgil’s first initial. This is a visualization wherein the three of us are each a point, and a solid line connecting two people is a romantic relationship.” He held up a hand with two fingers raised to illustrate. “Virgil and I are not also dating one another, so it is not a triangle.”

Patton nodded. He took another bite of his dinner instead of saying anything. Logan’s food, meanwhile, sat untouched while he happily infodumped.

“Roman is what we could refer to as the ‘hinge’ or ‘vertex’, as he is the one Virgil and I are both dating,” Logan continued, touching the spot between his raised fingers and briefly scissoring them, “and since Virgil and I share a boyfriend, we are metamours. This word is a combination of meta and amour, or possibly a portmanteau of meta and paramour—” He waved a hand in a dismissive, slightly annoyed gesture— “the etymology was unclear— and is defined as someone with whom you share a partner, but whom you are not yourself in a romantic relationship with. In addition, since Roman and I live together, we can be referred to as ‘nesting partners’. Unfortunately, I’ve yet to find a corollary term with which to refer to Virgil, as Roman’s non-nesting partner.” Logan briefly made a face that indicated he was upset with the information for evading him when he’d tried to learn it, then continued. “We could also refer to myself as Roman’s primary partner and Virgil his secondary, as an indication to the current levels of commitment and time spent together which come with cohabitation and the length of time we’ve been dating, but we’ve decided against this particular terminology, as it also implies a ranked hierarchy, which we do not want.”

“I see,” Patton said. “You sure know a lot about polyamory.”

Logan grinned. “I’ve been doing more research in the past couple days.”

“You’re taking this real well,” Virgil noted.

Patton laughed. “Honey, I’m gay,” he answered. “I should hope I know better by now than to judge a relationship just because it doesn’t fit a certain societal mold. And knowing Logan, I’m sure he’s doing all the research he can to make sure you three do it in a healthy way, and I think I know all of you well enough that I don’t need to give anyone the shovel talk.” He grinned a soft, loving grin. “I trust you.”

The others relaxed. “Well… good,” Virgil said after a moment.

“Besides, it’s not like I didn’t see all those wistful looks you’ve been giving Roman when his back was turned,” Patton added innocently, scooping up a bite onto his fork. “I’m glad you’re happy now.”

Virgil dropped his own fork, eyes wide.”You knew!?”

Patton nodded, sticking his forkful of food into his mouth. Virgil continued to stare at him as Patton chewed and swallowed. Patton shrugged. “You weren’t exactly subtle.”

Virgil groaned, putting his head in his hands. After a few moments, he looked up, squinting at the other two. “Did you know too?” he demanded.

“I hadn’t picked up on it, no,” Logan assured him.

“If I knew, do you think I’d’ve been half as nervous asking you out?” Roman asked. He patted Virgil’s shoulder. “I had no idea, honest.”

Virgil nodded, relaxing a bit. To Patton, he asked, “How long’ve you known?”

“Couple weeks,” Patton said. “A month or two, I guess, but it looked like it’d been going on some time already.” He shrugged. “I wasn’t sure if I should say anything. I’m glad you worked it out.”

“Okay, well. Good.” Virgil looked down at his plate. He pushed around a vegetable with his fork. “You just caught the tail end of it, then.”

Roman gave him a gentle smile. “You never said, how long have you been crushing on me?”

Virgil’s face reddened, and he kept his eyes fixed firmly on his food. He said nothing.

“Virge?” Roman asked hesitantly.

Virgil sighed. “Logan beat me to the punch,” he said, not lifting his eyes. “I’d figured out I liked you — like, like liked you — and been trying to figure out how to ask you out for probably a year already, but then Logan actually did, and you like him back, so I figured, there goes my chance, and stuffed it back down again and tried to ignore it, but it never really went away.”

Roman stared at him. Virgil continued to stare at his food. He impaled the carrot slice he’d been chasing around. It split in half.

“So, uh. Yeah,” Virgil said awkwardly into the silence. “A while.”

“You’ve had a crush on me this whole time?” Roman asked.

Virgil nodded quietly.

Roman was quiet for a moment too. Then he said softly, “That makes mine look like a little baby crush.”

Virgil finally looked at him again, raising an eyebrow. “How long’ve you had a crush on me?” he asked.

Roman grinned sheepishly. “I’m… not entirely sure,” he admitted. “Not several years, but… at least a month, probably. It snuck up on me; by the time I realized I didn’t just— y’know, friend-like you— by the time I figured it out, I was already crushing pretty hard. And then I tried to squish it for like a week or so,” he added, making vague circular gestures with his fork. “But I couldn’t stop thinking about you, so I eventually confessed to Logan, cause y’know. Not fair to him to have his boyfriend secretly crushing on someone else, and also I thought he might be able to help me stop having a crush on you, but then instead, Logan surprised me with the polyamory thing, so. Uh, yeah. What was the question again? I think I distracted myself.”

Virgil chuckled. “You answered it,” he assured Roman.

“Oh good.”

“You’re adorable,” Virgil continued.

Roman made an expression of equal parts embarrassment and delight. “Thanks.”

“C’mere,” Virgil said. “I wanna kiss you.”

Roman perked up happily. “Okay!” he said, leaning across the corner of the table. Virgil met him halfway, and they kissed.

Patton glanced over at Logan to see how he reacted to the kiss. Logan appeared perfectly calm, continuing to eat his dinner. Patton looked at him for a moment longer, trying to spot any of the signs that meant Logan was just not externalizing any displeasure he was feeling, and saw none. On the contrary, he was doing that thing with his face that quietly exuded fondness. It was subtle, but Patton had seen him look that way at Roman many times before. Patton found himself grinning. It was good to see his best friends all so happy.

~

It took several minutes for Roman to work up the courage to actually say it. He and Virgil sat in what would normally be a comfortable silence, Virgil with his feet up on the couch, looking at his phone, and Roman on the opposite couch, watching him and trying to psych himself up. This was even harder than telling Logan!

“Virgil?” he said at last. Virgil looked up.

“Hm?”

Abort, abort! Roman’s mind screamed, but he ignored it. He wasn’t about to back down now! “I have a crush on you,” he blurted, like ripping off a bandaid.

Virgil’s eyes widened. “Oh no,” he said. “Don’t— don’t you dare, I’m not having this dream again.”

What? That had not been the response Roman had expected. In fact, it wasn’t any of the several responses he had considered, and as such, he was without a contingency plan. “What dream?”

“This dream,” Virgil hissed, gesturing furiously between them. “You. Me. The idea that you would conceivably like me back. I know how this ends, and it isn’t good.” He jabbed a finger in Roman’s direction. “You are taken, and I can’t have you, so get out of my head and let me have a normal, nonsensical kind of dream instead of the kind that will make things awkward when I see the real Roman.”

“I… I am the real Roman,” said Roman, feeling very confused.

“No you’re not,” Virgil answered grumpily. “You’re a product of my wishful thinking. When I wake up, you’ll be gone.”

“Um.” Roman honestly had no idea what to do. “Logan?” he called. “I need help!”

Logan appeared at the doorway. “How is it going?” he asked.

“Well, the good news is I think he likes me back. Bad news is, he thinks he’s dreaming.”

“Go away!” Virgil yelled, throwing a coaster at Roman’s head.

“Ow!”

Logan raised an eyebrow. “Which part of his reaction lead you to believe that he likes you back?” he inquired.

“The part where he called me a product of wishful thinking,” Roman answered, rubbing the spot where the coaster had connected. “Can you convince him he’s not dreaming, and then explain the polyamory thing?”

“I can try.” Logan sat down next to Virgil, who scowled. “How are you feeling, Virgil?”

Virgil hissed at him.

“I see.”

Virgil hugged his legs. “I would like to wake up now,” he whispered.

“Why do you believe that you are asleep?” Logan asked gently.

Virgil gestured vaguely at Roman and said nothing.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to be a bit more explanatory than that,” Logan said. “What about Roman?”

Virgil was quiet for several seconds, hugging his legs tightly. “A dream is the only place where Roman would ever like me back,” he said at last. “But even in a dream, I don’t have a sliver of a chance with him.” He ducked his head, hiding his face with his knees. “Please. I wanna wake up before we get to the part where you’re furious.”

There was stunned silence. Then Logan said in a kind tone, “I am not going to be furious, or even mad at all.”

Virgil peeked out at him. “You’re not?”

Logan shook his head. “I can understand where you are coming from,” he said. “And I apologize for not addressing this concern from the start. I should have realized that you would also be worried about how I would react.”

“‘Also’?” Virgil repeated, barely above a whisper.

“Yes,” Logan said. “When Roman came to me yesterday to tell me that he had a crush on you, he was worried that I would dump him.”

Virgil’s eyes flicked to Roman for a second, then locked back on Logan. “You didn’t dump him, did you?”

“No. I did not.”

“Good.”

“I told him he should ask you out.”

There was silence again. Then Virgil asked, “Why?”

“For a couple of reasons, but largely so that he could find out if you liked him back, so we could proceed accordingly from there,” Logan answered, still using the carefully calm tone so as not to unnecessarily agitate Virgil. “If you did not like him back, knowing that would permit Roman to work through his feelings for you, and eventually move on from them.”

“And if I do?” It wasn’t quite a whisper, but it wasn’t anywhere near regular volume either.

“Well, then the three of us could try to work out an arrangement which allows both you and I to date Roman at the same time.”

Virgil glanced again to Roman, who was watching them, quietly hopeful and still. Then he looked back at Logan. “Why would you want me to date your boyfriend? Why would you let me?”

“Well, for one thing, Roman would like it,” Logan said. “In general — and with some caveats, of course, which do not apply here — I approve of things which will increase my boyfriend’s joy. I believe that Roman would enjoy you as a partner, and as I have quite enjoyed you as a friend, I am of the opinion that I would likewise enjoy you as a metamour.”

Virgil didn’t say that he didn’t know that word, but he didn’t have to. Logan explained, 

“A metamour is someone with whom you share a partner. Were you to begin dating Roman, you and I would be metamours.”

Virgil nodded slowly.

“I also have a selfish reason for encouraging you to date Roman,” Logan admitted. “While I thoroughly enjoy his attention, he is an extrovert, whereas I am an introvert. Although Roman does not ‘count’ as much as most people in terms of my social exhaustion, and I find the reward to be more than worth the drain, the fact remains that I am often quite tired after spending the day together. You, meanwhile, are another extrovert, despite your social anxiety. I theorize that if you started to date Roman as well, we would stand a better chance of matching his energy as a team.”

“He does have a lot of energy,” Virgil agreed. He looked at Roman for a long time. Roman looked back with a hopeful expression. Then Virgil asked, still looking at Roman, “Am I allowed to kiss him?”

“Yes,” Logan said. “So long as Roman also agrees to it, you have my permission to kiss him.”

Roman, who had bodily perked up upon hearing Virgil’s question, nodded quickly. Virgil beckoned for him to come closer, and Roman all but scrambled across the room to him, skirting around the coffee table. Virgil stood as he approached, biting his lip.

Roman stepped into Virgil’s bubble. Virgil, head tilted down, lifted his eyes to meet his gaze. Tenderly, Roman brushed a finger along Virgil’s jawbone. “May I give you a kiss?” he asked, nearly in a whisper.

Virgil, who seemed to have stopped breathing, nodded. Roman leaned in, and Virgil tipped his chin up to meet him. Roman brushed his lips against Virgil’s, a mere ghost of a kiss, to give Virgil a chance to change his mind and back away. Virgil didn’t. Roman kissed him harder, though still gentle. Virgil kissed back, awkward and uncertain.

After a few seconds, they pulled apart. Virgil looked down at Logan, who was calmly observing them from the couch.

“You’re sure you’re okay with this?”

Logan nodded. “If you had gone behind my back to begin dating, then I would have indeed been furious,” he said. “But as it is, I am quite happy for both of you. We ought to discuss what boundaries will be in place, so as to avoid hurt down the line, but if the two of you would like to have a makeout session first to resolve your mutual pining, I have no objections.”

Virgil turned back to Roman. Roman grinned.

What followed was not, strictly speaking, making out. However, they kissed long enough for Logan to get up, go to the kitchen, and return before they pulled apart again.

“Do you still think you’re dreaming?” Roman asked.

Virgil shook his head, a soft smile on his lips. Then, suddenly, he froze in place, and his expression turned stricken. “I threw a coaster at your head!”

“It’s okay,” Roman said, but Virgil stood on his toes and put both hands on the back of Roman’s neck to pull him back down to his level. Roman obliged, stooping so that Virgil could look at the place where the coaster had struck.

“Does it still hurt?” he asked, parting Roman’s hair to look for a bruise.

“I’m fine,” Roman insisted. “It only stung for a little bit.”

“Which coaster did you throw?” Logan inquired.

Virgil didn’t even glance away, still prodding at Roman’s scalp in search of an injury. “I dunno, I just hurled the first thing I could grab.”

Logan set the papers he’d fetched on the coffee table, and crossed the room to where the coaster had landed after it bounced off Roman’s head. “It’s the one Patton made us,” he said, turning it over in his hands. “Leather is relatively soft, although I suppose the plastic lacing might count as a hard edge. I would be more concerned if you had thrown a metal or glass one, especially considering the greater mass of the latter, along with its potential to shatter into sharp pieces.”

“See?” Roman said. He shook Virgil’s fingers off and stood upright again, grinning. “I’m fine, Virgil.”

Virgil didn’t seem fully convinced, but he said, “I guess so.”

Roman chuckled. “Besides. It was worth it, for that kiss.”

Virgil blushed, looking down.

Logan came back and picked up his papers again.

“Whatchu got there?” Roman asked. 

“I have the list of boundaries you and I set when we began dating, along with the amendments,” Logan answered, “and some paper and pencils to draft the new version that includes Virgil.” He paused, addressing Virgil next. “That is, if I am not ‘jumping the gun’ — so to speak — and you are indeed willing to become a part of our relationship?”

“I want to at least try it,” Virgil said softly. “What kind of boundaries, though?”

“Ones like, Logan is allowed to kiss me whenever he wants, because I like surprise kisses,” Roman said, “but if I want to kiss Logan, I need to get permission first.”

“However,” Logan chimed in, “within a few months of dating, we were able to adjust the definitions of asking and receiving permission for kisses from exclusively verbal to various methods, including body language.”

“I want to be asked first, too,” Virgil said. “At least for now.”

Roman nodded, and Logan sat down on the couch so that he could use the coffee table to make a note of that.

“Do you want to sit on my lap?” Roman offered. 

“Won’t I squish you?”

“Nope!” Roman sat down and held his arms out for Virgil, who still looked hesitant. “You’re even smaller than Logan,” Roman encouraged gently. “And I can hold him, if he’ll let me. You won’t squish me.”

After a moment more of hesitation, Virgil delicately sat down on Roman’s lap. Roman wrapped both arms around his waist to hold him in place.

“Can I read your list?” Virgil asked Logan.

“Certainly.” Logan handed it over, and Virgil began to read it. After only a moment, he looked up.

“This is very organized.”

Logan grinned. “Thank you.”

After Virgil had finished reading, he asked, “So, what exactly is the plan?”

“Probably make a list like that for you and me,” Roman said, pressing his face happily into the back of Virgil’s shoulder.

“It’s fine if it’s not nearly so neat,” Logan added. “This is the product of a few years of refinement. And of course, the style may be different. I am more than willing to assist as much as you would like, but if you find that another format is more beneficial, obviously you ought to use that instead.”

“Uh,” Virgil said. “This— like this is fine, I think. I wouldn’t know what else to suggest.”

Logan nodded with a smile. “Alright,” he said. “Let me know if you change your mind. Also, in addition to the two of you setting boundaries with each other, we need to look at how the addition of Virgil affects Roman’s and mine, and Virgil, you and I need to discuss boundaries as well.”

Virgil looked surprised. “I’m… not going to be dating you though, right?”

“No, but we are going to be metamours. I expect that there will be plenty of chances to metaphorically step on each other’s toes now that we are both dating Roman, and I would prefer to avoid doing so.”

“Oh. Right. Okay.”

~~~~~

Logan was quiet for a bit, but it was a considering silence, not a returned-to-his-book silence. When Roman came over, Logan put a bookmark in, setting his book in his lap. “Do you remember how I initially told you of my feelings for you?”

Roman sat at Logan’s feet, perched on the side of the bed. “You were very blunt,” he recalled. “I don’t recall the exact words, but you said that you were attracted to me and wanted to kiss my face.”

Logan nodded. “Although I have had a few years practice since then in showing my love, it has mainly been in nonverbal forms, and I have not had any more experience in the initial confession,” he said. “Thus, I am likely not the best person to ask for advice.”

Roman huffed. “Okay, fair. I guess I’ll wing it. I just…” He sighed, flopping backward onto the mattress. “What if he takes it the wrong way?”

“Would you like to do a round of ‘best, worst, most likely’?” Logan offered kindly. Roman nodded, turning and squirming up on the bed to lie beside him. “What’s the best possible result of you telling Virgil of your crush on him?”

“He doesn’t take it the wrong way,” Roman started hesitantly, fingering the blanket beneath him. “In fact… in fact, it turns out that he likes me back. We start dating. The three of us are very happy together, and there are never any complications from me dating Virgil. Neither of you are ever jealous over me, and I don’t feel guilty about making you share, or selfish for wanting to have two boyfriends.”

Logan dropped his hand down, running it fondly through Roman’s hair. “That’s good,” he said. “How likely does that outcome seem, on a scale from one to ten?”

“Mmmm…” Roman picked at the blanket. “Maybe a two? Tops. Probably more like a one, one and a half.”

“Alright. What’s the worst possible result?”

Roman shuddered. “He’s offended. Not only does he not want to date me, it turns out that he’s been secretly homophobic this whole time, and the only reason he never said anything was because I didn’t ever make a pass at him. He cuts off all communication and never speaks to me again. Also, he tells Patton that I’m a terrible, awful person who tried to commit adultery with him, and Patton gives me a disappointed look every time he sees me for the rest of my life, and also never speaks to me again, ever.”

“Yikes,” Logan said, his voice carefully level. He continued to stroke Roman’s hair. “And how likely do you think that is?”

Roman made a face. But he had to be honest about it. “Zero point five,” he admitted, turning his face down into the mattress for a moment. “If I leave out the homophobia, which I probably should, cause that doesn’t sound like Virgil, it goes up a bit, though. Maybe a one, but only just.” He paused. “Actually, no. Patton thinks ‘adultery’ is another word for ‘adulting’. Three quarters.”

Logan chuckled. “And what’s the most likely result?” he prompted.

Roman paused.

“Roman?”

“I’m not sure.” Roman pushed himself up on his elbows, dislodging Logan’s hand from his hair. “Either he gets uncomfortable and kinda laughs it off, not quite believing that I actually like him, or he takes it seriously and lets me down gently. Either way, it hurts, and I cry about it, but not in front of him, because I don’t want him to feel guilty. It’s not his fault I’ve got these feelings. But then I can do the closure thing you said, and move on.”

“Alright. And how likely?”

“Probably a seven or an eight?”

“Okay. How do you feel?”

“I feel—” Roman started, then paused to take stock of how he actually felt. “I feel okay,” he decided.

“Good.”

“How about you? Best, worst, most likely?”

Logan considered. “I agree with your best-case scenario,” he said. “And I would give it a similar rating. However, were I to make a few minor edits, so that the negative feelings of jealousy, guilt, and selfishness were not entirely absent, but were rather present but effectively managed without difficulty, I would rate it higher. A three or four, at least. Obviously, however, that is no longer the absolute best-case scenario.” Logan paused for a moment in case Roman wished to say something, but Roman was quiet, so he continued. “Given what I know of the natures of our friends, I do not believe that what you described as worst-case is even possible. Rather, I think the worst case scenario is that Virgil disengages before we are fully able to explain the situation, and believes you to be attempting to cheat on me until we have a chance to explain otherwise.”

“How likely is that?” Roman asked, voice tight.

“One. At most.”

Roman nodded, unable to prompt Logan on the last question. Logan continued anyway.

“As for the most likely outcome, I am also uncertain between two possibilities. In either, Virgil listens and does his best to understand, though it is a lot to take in. This is where it diverges. The first possibility is that Virgil agrees to give it a try, and goes out on a date with you. We proceed from there. Alternatively, Virgil decides either that he would not like to be in a polyamorous relationship, or that he would not like to be in a romantic relationship with you. Or, possibly, both together. He informs you of this with as much tact as he can manage, because he is your friend and he does not wish to hurt you. Then, although it does hurt, you are able to put your crush behind you and move on. Things may be somewhat awkward for a time, but this does not do permanent damage to your friendship.” He paused for a moment, then continued, “Unfortunately, as you know, I am not very skilled in knowing how others feel, so I cannot say which is more likely. However, I would give either of these a seven or an eight.”

Roman nodded shakily. “Y-yeah. Okay.” He tried a smile. “That helps.”

How do you feel?” Logan queried again.

“Good?” Roman nodded, half to himself. “Yeah. I feel good. Almost confident. I think I can do it.”

Logan smiled. “Good.” Leaning in, he kissed Roman on the forehead. “Tomorrow, we can make plans to further reduce the chances of the negative outcomes, if you’d like.”

Roman nodded. “I don’t think mine’ll happen anyway,” he said. “But we should make sure we do it somewhere we won’t get interrupted, and that Virgil’s comfortable first. I really don’t wanna spook him, or only get halfway through the explanation.”

Logan nodded agreement. “Tonight, however, how about you come under these covers with me, and we go to sleep?”

Roman chuckled, shifting around and pulling the blankets back. “Can we cuddle?”

“Of course.” Logan moved his book to the nightstand, and set his glasses on top of it. Roman hit the lights, then finished getting under the covers. Logan lay down beside him, and they took a few moments to snuggle up comfortably around each other. Logan tucked Roman’s head under his chin in an inversion of their standing hugs.

Roman relaxed into it. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

~~~~~