#poly!lierra

*Luke’s POV*

They arrived at Ashton’s. His palms are sweating, and his throat was getting dryer by the second. Sierra placed her hand on his shoulder, slightly calming his nerves. They stood in of his door. He hesitated on knocking, Sierra had tired of waiting and knocked. Nothing happened at first, Luke knocked this time. There were footsteps, and the door opened. “Look, its early in the morning, so what the fuc- Oh. You two. He groaned.  “ I-Is Iris here?” Sierra asked him.  “You didn’t check your phones?” He said, slightly irritated. The two took out their phones.

They checked their messages:

[10:00 pm, 09/10/2020] Iris <3 : Hey. Just wanted to tell you that I’m leaving for tour early. I cleared up everything with Ashley and my bandmates. I will be leaving at midnight tonight. You’re welcome to come and see me off, only if you want to. I’ll be with Ashley for the while leg of the tour, we might have separate shows, but we’ll wait for the management announcement.

[10:00 pm, 09/10/2020] Iris <3 : I just wanna say that I apologise for being so distant , I’ve been in a really bad headspace lately. I’m sorry. It’s my fault for making you mad, making Sierra upset and everything.

“Fuck.” he whispered. Ashton was staring at them, arms crossed. "Have you realized what you've done?" Ashton said. They didn't have the chance to speak. "You absolutely wrecked her, you know that? Both of you. I thought you're better than this. She came here, soaked to the skin. She could get sick, and you both know that she gets sick easily. She was trying to keep herself together. She on a verge on an attack, thank god Katniss was there to calm her down. I wanted to march up to your house and beat your ass . But Iris wouldn't let me, you know why? it's because she loves you, Lucas. And that's the only thing stopping me from beating your ass." He scolded. Luke was looking at the ground, ashamed.

"And Sierra, you know what the media could do. They'd do anything to tear people apart, fuck with their mental health, twisting lies into stories with without knowing the real truth. One article could turn people against each other. I really thought that maybe you would understand a little more about this." He said. Ashton was disappointed. He sighed. "Now that you have your answer, I have a lemon tree to save. Goodnight." He said, closing the door on them. The two walked back to their car.

What were they gonna do now?

*Iris's POV*

The live session was a blast. Once she felt sensation of the bass, the sound of the guitar, the kick of the drums, she never felt so alive. They were covering "I Don't Love You" by My Chemical Romance. She felt the problems slowly melt away when she started singing. She sang each verse with all she got. It was pure, raw emotion, the one that could make everyone tear up. It's like she was a different person. Long gone the Iris that was depressed. The Iris on stage now was, way more brighter and her eyes seems to shine with unshed tears. This side of Iris only comes out when she's performing. Usually, without the tears. The crowd cheered her on. She was smiling. The trio gave each other knowing glances, once the adrenaline from performing wears off, she would go back to the woman she was before.

Sad and empty.

They thanked the crowd and the host and went backstage. They were buzzing with adrenaline. "You guys, wanna grab some food before we go back to the hotel?" Maia said. Julia and Helena nodded. "Iris?" Helena said. Iris's head snapped up. "You okay there? Your lookin' a little bit pale, shortcake." Helena said. Iris rubbed her face. "I'm alright, Just need fresh air, that's all. Maybe something to eat." She said. The trio was looking at her worriedly. "Guys. I promise, I'm okay, don't worry." she shyly smiled, nervous from the looks her bandmates were giving her. "Macca's?" Julia said. "Sure." Maia said.

*timeskip*

"That's all your going eat?" Julia said. Iris was eating her veggie dippers. "Yeah. I'm not that hungry." she mumbled. "Bullshit. You haven't eaten anything since last night." Julia said. "Take some my fries." Maia said. "Maia, I can't take it. It's your food." she declined. "Iris, we won't let you fuckin' starve. We have a long night of performing coming up. And you need the energy." Maia said. Iris stared at the ground. Helena rubbed her back, "Please, Iris. We all know you have haven't been doing well." Maia said. "Fine."

"Good girl." Julia said. "Wow, Julia. I didn't know you were into that kinda of stuff~" Iris teased. Helena choked on her drink. Julia looked at Helena, confused. Maia shoved Julia's shoulder. The look of realization dawned on her face. "Oh. Iris, you kinky bitch." She said, smirking. "Well, someone's gotta be the Yuri in this club, and you guys don't have to balls to be him. " she teased again.

They heard cameras clicking.

"Paps." they said in unison.  “Shit.” Helena mumbled.  “We have to get out of here, quickly.” Julia said. The group got out and tried to get to Maia’s car. Iris was soon cornered by the paps.

“Iris, you know they can do better!”

“Is it difficult having TWO partners? Having to be jealous all the time and fighting for attention – what does that feel like?”

She kept quiet.

“What do you think to the rumours that you cheated on them? There’s evidence of you spending the night with a mysterious female.”

“You’re really nothing special though are you? They won’t stick around for long, whore.”

“We’ve seen the scars on your arms.”

“Don’t you think that’s a bad image for your band?”

“You should look into conversion therapy, disgusting whore.”

“What about your partners? Should they have to deal with that on top of everything they should be doing?”

“You’re nothing but a slut. A cheating, useless piece of shit.”

“You’ll be better off dead.”

“'Lena…” She mumbled, searching for any of her bandmates over the crowd, she felt her vision go hazy for a bit as she desprately tried to push through the paps. She was so close from losing her sanity. The paps was closing in, blocking her in. Insults was thrown her way. She was going to break.

Then she felt their arms. Helena's strong hand gripping hers and pulling her into their arms, cradling her against her chest and Julia pushing through the crowd telling the paparazzi to fuck off along the way.“Get away from her!” She pushed the paps away from the duo while Helena helped Iris up. “We just want answers!” One of the paps shouted back at them. “Well, you’re not gonna get any so take your camera, shove it up your fucking asshole, and fuck off!”

They got her into the car. Maia drove away from the scene as fast as she could. Iris's hands was shaking. “Iris?” Julia ask, her hand moving to cup her face. “Iris, come on.” Julia pleaded, she was desperately trying to help her calm her down, holding her hands and trying to help her breathe. “They said such horrible things.” Iris mumbled. “They’re just trying to get a response.” Helena said.

"Can we call, Ash?" she meekly asked. "Of course, shortcake." Helena said. Julia called him.

"Hey, Julia. Is everything alright?"

"Um... about that."

"What's wrong?"

"Well, we had a run in with paps eariler and they cornered Iris."

"What?! Is she okay? Did the paps do anything?"

"Well, they verbally harassed her. We might ask management to file a lawsuit. As for Iris? She's the reason why I called, wait a minute-

"'Lena take the phone."

Helena took the phone from Julia.

"Hey, Lemon boy"

"Hey, Helena. Is Iris with you?"

"Yup. Let me hand the phone to her."

"Thanks"

She passed the phone to Iris.

"Hey, Ash..."

"Hey, Sunshine. Are you okay? Did they do anything to you?"

"They were closing in on me, taking photos of me and said bad things."

"What kind of bad things did they say, sunshine? "

"That I’m not good enough, they keep insisting that I cheated. They said that I look into converstion therapy-"

She was startled by Helena's hand on her shoulder. "Let it out." She mouthed to her.

"They joked about my scars, they said I would be better off dead." she choked out.

"They what?! Oh, Iris, I'm so sorry."

She sobbed.

" Iris, listen."

"What they said.... it's all lies. You hear me? They are lies. You are not what they paint you to be, they don't know who you really are. You are amazing. You are the most amazing person I know, the boys loves you.... even Luke. He came by with Sierra the night after you left. I didn't do anything, like I promise. But you bet I gave him an earful. But all that aside, Iris, you deserve to be here, and you are good enough. You make people happy. Your fans? They all love you, you make them smile, you make them feels safe. This will pass, things will get easier. I promise you."

"What if I fail to do so, Ash? What if I disappoint everyone?"

"You won't. Trust me, you are not a failure. You will get better. You will heal. You will be stronger than ever. You will make it through this."

"Are they alright?"

"You're seriously asking that? You're not okay and you're asking if they're alright?"

"Please Ash... I want to know."

They arrived at the hotel.

"Yes, they are. You don't have to worry. All you have to worry now is me giving you a lecture. Look outside."

"What?"

"Just look outside."

She looked outside to see Ashton, giving her one of his signature smiles. Beside him.....Luke and Sierra.

"Ashton?"

"Hey, sunshine."

She paled. She turned at the bandmates and chuckled shakily.

"Am I finally going crazy? Is they really here?"

She looked at Luke and Sierra, laughing disbelievingly. Shaking her head, she walked up to them. She prodded Luke at his chest angrily, as she laughed. "You had the fucking nerve to show up here." She was chuckling yet crying in the same time. "Where were you, Lucas. Where the fuck were you when I needed you?!" she said. She stumbled back, shaking her head. Iris's knees gave out. Maia reached out to steady her. "Can we get out of here, please?" She whispered to her. Maia looked at Helena and Julia. "Let's get her inside." She said, quietly. They nodded. They moved to get her inside. Sierra moved to stop them. "Let's talk this through, please." She said to Iris. Helena glowered at her. She stood in front Iris protectively.

"After what you've done, you think you could just come up here and expect her to talk? After the pain you put her through? No, ma'am. You lost that right." Helena said. "Hey, don't talk to her like that." Luke defended her. Julia stepped forward. "Don't think we forgot about YOU, Hemmings." She said. "You don't get to come up here, all high and mighty and expect that we let you go that easily." Helena said. “You two are fucking dumb if you really believe that's a way to treat our bandmate.” Maia said.

“If anyone should be arguing, it should be me.” Iris said, as she straightened up and six pairs of eyes snapped to her. "Thank you for standing up for me, guys." she said to her bandmates. They shrugged and smiled. "Pop off, bestfren." Maia playfully winked at her. Iris smiled and turned to face the duo. The look that they gave her made her newfound anger surge.

“You both don’t get to look at me like that.” She snapped, causing them to reel back in suprise. They never seen her this mad, never at them. "If you gave me the chance to talk back then, we wouldn't have this bullshit." she said. Their faces fell in guilt. The Iris she was before this would've cave in and forgive them but she was seething with anger now to care.

"If you'd noticed the sleepless nights I had, the bag under my eyes. If you'd have cared to even try and listen to what I had to say, maybe I wouldn't be fuckin' pissed at you right now!" Iris snapped and Luke flinched back.

If they'd only looked into her eyes, they would see the bottled up emotions that was threatening to explode. It felt wrong to see Iris so angry. She was always been the one to break up arguements, not start them. "Did you know how much suffering you caused me? Do you know how much pain I've been through? I never asked for this, you know? I never asked for us to fight. I hate fighting, you know that?" She said. She looked at them, they were looking down to the ground.

"Look at me." she pleaded. Her anger disappated. Their heads immediately snapped up."I d-don't think I contribute to this relationship anymore." her broken voice reached their ears.

"Iris!" They called out, but she's gone. Luke frantically searched for her. "Luke, we still have one more chance." Sierra said. "Sierra, there's no more chance. We lost her." He said. "And it's all my fault." he whimpered. "Luke, honey. We have her concert tickets, thanks to Ashley. Let's not waste this chance alright?" She said.

*timeskip*

Two hours till the concert. The stage staff were moving around, making sure that everything goes well. After the encounter, Iris fell in the hotel bed and proceeded take a long nap. And woke up just in time for rehearsal.

Seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours. Iris drank some vodka that was prepared by the staff, it did so little to calm her nerves. She was pacing around. “Iris?” Her makeup stylist called out. Her head shot up, “Yes, David?” She said. “It’s time for your makeup, and then your outfit." He reminded. She smiled softly at him, "Alright, I'm coming."

She got dressed and sat on the chair."So what would we like on this wonderful night?" He said prepairing the brushes. "I was thinking of skeleton kinda look. Some black, a little red." She said. "That sounds good. Would you like some to put glitter on the black part?" he asked. "Sure" she nodded.

(A/N: Here’s the outfit. Credit to @boy..brainr0t for the makeup look)

They made a small talk about the weather and the upcoming shows. Half an hour later, David finished. "Wow, you did a great job! I love it so much, thanks David! " Iris said, her mood brightened. "No probs, Iris." He said with a smile. She side hugged him and left the room.

"Looking good, shortcake! That choker looks deadly, in a good way." Helena hyped her up. Iris flushed. "Enough about me, look at your mohawk! The spikes are as deadly as my choker! " She said, smiling. "Can I.... touch them? " Iris said. It was like a child asking for candy. "Knock yourself out, shortcake. " She shrugged. Iris's eyes shined with excitement and she poked it. "It's rock hard, did you use hairspray?" she asked, "I did. Used a little bit of hair pomade. Gotta make sure it won't fall while performing." Helena explained. "That's cool." Iris giggled.

 "Hey, cuties!" Julia hollered from arcoss the room. "Its almost time, get your sexy asses over here!" Maia said alongside Julia. "Alright, alright, we're coming!" Iris shouted back. "You look like Gerard Way, Iris." Julia said. "Awh, Julia that's nicest thing you ever said to me" she joked. Julia playfully punched her in the shoulder. "Heeeey" She pouted. "Hey guys!" Ashley jogged over to them. "Hey, Ashley" They said. "You ready to go up there?" She asked. "Yeah, it's been a while since we last went on stage, still kinda nervous, but excited." Iris said. "Excuse me, sorry to interrupt, but you guys are up in 10" the stage manager informed them. "Alright, thank you for informing us" Julia thanked the staff. "You welcome." the staff said, then walked away. 

"Go get ready, I can't wait to see you guys out there." Ashley said, before leaving to get ready herself. "You ready?" Maia asked. " As ready as I'll ever be" Iris said. Her eyes shining with excitement. The group fistbumped each other and went on stage.

"GOOD EVENING, LONDON!" Iris screamed into the mic. The crowd screamed. "ARE YOU READY?" The crowd cheered. "WE CAN'T HEAR YOU" The crowd screamed.The intro for their song "You" started playing.

You, 

The thought of you makes me sick

Heaven and Hell doesn’t scare me anymore

Not when your with me

Why you gotta be so greedy?

I’m giving all I have to you,

But you keep asking for more,I’m dying, can’t you see? (Look at me)

My blood stains the floor

And I know you love seeing me like this

When it comes to you, (you temptress)

You act so innocent, like an angel in disguise

Always painting yourself as holy

But your tainted halo says otherwise, my dear

Iris sang, stomping her feet to the rhythm. She was smiling, looking out to the crowd. And then she saw familiar head of curls. It was Luke. Her eyes widened, trying to maintain her composure as she sang. She looked at Julia, who noticed them too.

Look at what you’ve become

My still beating heart you hold,

Your knife against my throat.

I’m on the floor, barely breathing (Gasping for air)

My mind tormented by your lies

There’s no escape from you (Never)

There’s no saving for me

“Oh, my darling sweetheart” you said,

With your hands around my neck 

“Let me own you” you whispered

Your cold breath makes me shiver

Death knocks on the door (It’s time)

She puts on a facade, performing all the energy she had. Maia and Helena soon caught up with the situation immediately. They were soon picking up on the energy that Iris is giving out. She was nervous. Very nervous.  Her heterochromia eyes instantly found blue ones.  She wanted to run off stage but her pride wouldn’t let her. What would the fans think of her if she did? She didn't want to be coward.

*Lierra's POV*

They were standing somewhat near to the stage, same as the people that are there, they were all waiting for the show to start. Soon, Iris came on stage along with her band mates. The crowd screamed and cheered.

"GOOD EVENING, LONDON!" she said. She sounded so different from 4 hours ago. She looked beautiful as always, her facial features were enhanced by her stage makeup. "ARE YOU READY?" They cheered. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" They cheered even louder.

Iris smirked. "Helena, darling. If you please." she said. They both knew it was her persona on stage to be a little flirty , but Sierra couldn't stop but feel a little bit of jealousy. Helena was smirking on the screen. " ONE, TWO, THREE-" Helena said, before she started playing the drums. The intro sounds familiar to them. Then Iris started singing.

In their eyes, she was the most ethereal being they ever seen. She was confident when she sing, it was beautiful.

Midway through the song, their eyes met. Luke could see her eyes widening. She turned to Julia. Julia gave her a brief nod. She turned to the front, with a smile on her face. He gave Sierra a look.She shared the same look, they clearly knew that she was faking her expression. And the thought of that made them feel even more guilty.

*Back to Iris*

Look at what I’ve become

My still heart you hold,

Your knife still against my throat.

I’m on the floor, still and silent

My mind corrupted by your lies

There’s no escape from you

There’s no redemption for me.

As she sang the last verse, the crowd cheered and clapped. She was a little sweaty and she was a little out of breath.  She kept on smiling. Her bandmates joined her at the front. Ashley comes on stage next. “Good Evening, London!” Ashley said. The crowd screamed. “ I would like to thank my good friends, The Temptress, for their AMAZING performance tonight!” She exclaimed. The crowd screamed again. "You welcome, Halsey." she said. 

In the corner of her she saw a sign. The sign said "It's Nia!". Her eyes shined. "Well won't you look at that, Hi Nia." She waved at the girl direction. A group of girls were screaming as she said that. "Thank you again for the wonderful gift you gave me yesterday, darling. I really appreciate it." She said. The group screamed again. She was smiling. A real smile. The camera was on her and the crowd screamed again. She and her bandmates said their goodbyes to the crowd and Halsey and went off backstage. 

She took off her facade and became unsually quiet. She plopped on the couch and drank the vodka she poured for herself. Her friends didn't know if they should comfort her or give her space. "Hey, shortcake." Helena said softly. Iris just leaned against her, her head on her shoulder. "You okay, bub?" Helena said. Iris just buried her face further into her neck.

Iris arrived at the airport along with Ashley. Iris rubbed her eyes and stretched. She lets out a groan, sleeping on an airplane seat wasn’t exactly comfortable. Iris's bandmates, Helena, Maia and Julia was making small talks with each other so they can keep up with what's going on. As they waited for their luggage, Iris went to checked on her phone.

10 texts messages from Lemon Boy 2 missed calls from Boatboi and Mikey 1 voicemails from Si<3 20 texts messages from Lukey<3

She listened to Sierra’s voicemail.

"Hey, angel." Sierra said on the voice mail. "I know I'm the last person you want to hear from right now after what happened, and I just want to say that we're both sorry." Sierra said. "I'm sorry I didn't take your side, sorry that I didn't understand from your point of view. I'm sorry for giving up so easily, but I understand if you don't forgive me but at least forgive Luke." she took in a breath. " He’s been beating himself up. And he barely slept. We went to Ashton's and he explained everything to us. We were so foolish for not give you a chance to explain. We're sorry."

Julia, who’s the bassist of her band, turned around to see Iris with tears in her eyes. "Hey, Iris?" she called out. Iris's head shot up, she cleared her throat and wiped away her tears. "Yeah?" she said. " We got your luggage, ready to leave?" Julia said. Iris nodded. "Wanna borrow my sunglasses? It can help cover up... only if you want to." she offered. "Thank you." she said quietly. Iris took the sunglasses. "No problem, bub." Julia beamed, patted Iris in the head. "Now come on, let’s head to the hotel, but let's go greet some fans, first." Helena said. Well, when Helena said "some fans" she meant crowds of people waiting to meet them.

"OH MY GOD! THEY'RE HERE!" "Hey Iris, can I get a picture?' "I LOVE YOU, IRIS" "WE LOVE YOU"

Iris smiled and took a few pictures with them. "uh..I-Iris?" She heard a small voice  muttered out. She turned to see a girl with brown skin and long black hair."Hey sweetie, what's wrong?" she asked. "I-I made you something!" she said as she handed her a bag. Iris took the bag, in it was a painting of Luke, Sierra and her, and other stuff. Her heart ached. She forced a smile, "Oh my god, did you paint this? It's so beautiful!" The girl blushed profusely and nodded. Iris hugged the girl. "Thank you, sweetie. What's your name?" The girl smiled. "Nia, it's Nia." she said. "Well, Nia, thank you again for this beautiful painting! Are you coming to the shows?" Iris asked. "Y-Yeah I'm going to the one tomorrow." Iris hugged her again. "Can't wait to see you tomorrow then!" She smiled and waved goodbye. Helena, after overheard her conversation with Julia earlier, stayed awhile to wait for Iris. “You okay, shortcake?” she asked. Usually, Iris would protest when Helena called her “shortcake”. But she didn’t this time.

*timeskip*

As they reached the hotel, it was midnight. They got their keycard, and told each other goodnight. She unpacked her stuff, placed her guitar and her gift beside the vanity. She took a warm shower, the water cascading down her back, relieving her tense muscles. She dried off and changed into her boy-boxers and oversized hoodie she stole from Luke. She forgotten that she put that in. The smell of cashmere and him filled her senses and she felt her mood dampened.

She unlocked her phone and opened Instagram. She saw that Luke had posted. The caption said:

For Buttercup xoxo.

He was holding his guitar, as he played a rhythm the she recognized, but she couldn’t remember the lyrics. She had heard them boys talking about this before, but never sung it. He looked so tired, she could see the circles underneath his eyes.

Your type of mind, so hard to find, Native of mine, you're just my kind, Down on my knees, I’ll always follow, I promise you until the end of time.

Her heart yearned to hold the man in her arms and forgive him for every wrong he had committed over the past few days. She knew he was hurting. She had avoided his messages because she was too blinded by her own betrayal and sadness to truly realize what her absence had done to the man.

Such a lonely heart, oh woah Such a lonely heart, oh woah If you can't find another reason to stay Then I know I'm gonna always have a lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely Heart, oh woah Heart

He looked physically in pain, yet his emotions was conveyed by the lyrics of the song. Tears fell from her own eyes as she witnessed the man she loved experience such heartache.

Your precious heart, can't watch it break So I close my eyes while you walk away Can I have a second chance? Can I have another dance? Can I start another life, with you? When I wake up in a haze, and I haven't slept in days You're a thousand miles away-

But then she remembered he had hurt her so deeply. But also, she could feel his apology through the verse itself. She knew he wasn't great with words so he'll depend on songs to express what he felt. It was too much. Iris looked away, the sharp pain in her heart gave a shock, her hand reaching up to grasp over her heart. She feels lightheaded. Her chest ached, a heaviness was pressing on her chest. Iris shaked her head, slowly reaching for keycard on her nightstand. Staggering, she stood and made her way to Helena's room. A sob escapes her, her weak attempts of keeping it in failed. "Helena-" she called out. "please...open the door." She curl herself into a ball, tears slipping down her face. She felt the door open. "Iris!" Helena exclaimed.

She open her eyes as Helena's arm wrapped around her, her hand rubbing soothing circles on her back. Maia heard the commotion outside and rushed outside. “What’s wrong?” She asked. She looked at the pair on the floor.  “Hey Iris.” She cooed. “Hey. It’s okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got you, okay?” she said. “Iris. Iris, grab my hand.” She look at Helena, confused. "Just do it." She moved her gaze from her hands to Helena's, slowly taking it and holding it in her palm. “Squeeze.” She told her, Iris's eyes drifting up to meet hers. She smiled reassuringly. “Go on. Squeeze as hard as you can.” Iris's tightened her hands around Helena's palm, her eyes still on her face. "Keep going.” She nodded.

“Now match my breathing. In, out. In, out.” Maia whispered, her hand still rubbing circles on Iris’s back. Iris tried to concentrate on the way Maia’s chest, moving up and down, attempting to copy with her own breathing. There’s an overwhelming scent of Luke lingering on every breath she take. “Hey, hey, hey. Focus on me, Iris.” Helena said, snapping Iris out her thoughts, “That’s it. Well done sweetheart, you can do it.” Maia reasurred. They stayed like that for a while; Helena whispering reassurance, Iris’s matching Maia’s breathing. Finally, after what felt like forever, She stopped shaking and her heart rate slowed back down.

"You okay, now? Do you need anything? I could get you water, snacks, anything..?" Maia asked. "Just stay with me, please." She clinged to them ."Alright." She said. "Would you like to tell us what happened?" Helena asked. Iris told them about Luke and about Sierra's voicemail. "He looked so sad, did I mess everything up?" She whispered. "No, Iris. He snapped at you. He should've listened to your reasons before jumping into conclusions like that." Maia reassured. “Look, I want you to stay with me for a little bit, okay?” Iris began shaking her head, ready to pull out of her grasp. “Oh, ‘Lena, no, it’s okay, I ca—” “Iris, please,” Helena begged. “Just for tonight, yeah? You’re not in a right headspace for you to be alone right now.” Iris nibbled on her lip, sniffling and conflicted as she timidly asked, “Are you sure?” Helena nodded firmly. "Alright then." Iris whispered.

"Can you walk?" Maia asked. "I-I think s-so" She said, attempting to stand. The pair supported her back so she could stand. And helped Iris to back to Helena’s bed. "Sit tight, I'll grab some stuff from your room, okay?" Maia asked her. "Okay." Iris mumbled. "Just rest, do you want to postpone the concert tomorrow?" Helena softly asked. Iris rapidly shook her head. "No, no, no. I'll be fine, don't worry. i can do it." she rambled. "Alright, now go get proper sleep." Helena said.

*The next day*

Ashley went to check her phone. There was a text from Ashton.

[7:10 am, 11/10/2019] Ashton 5sos: Hey Ashley

[7:10 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley: Hey Ashton, what's up?

[7:11 am, 11/10/2019] Ashton 5sos: Nothing much

[7:11 am, 11/10/2019] Ashton 5sos: I only wanted to know how is Iris, she doing okay?

Ashley looked at the woman on the bed, She went to check on her in the morning, to find she’s in Helena’s room. Iris was curled up in the covers, her eyes slightly puffy and her cheeks are flushed. But other than that, she sleeping so soundly.

[7:12 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley : She's okay. Helena told me had a breakdown last night but she okay now. She still sleeping though. She said she had pains in her chest, I’m worried.

[7:14 am, 11/10/2019] Ashton 5sos: Oh god, I knew that something was wrong. Is there something I can do to help?

[7:14 am, 11/10/2019] Ashton 5sos: Please tell me, I want to help.

[7:15 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley : I don’t know about that, Ashton. And you're in LA and we're halfway around the world. We went to check up on her, she was burning up.

[7:18 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley: i think she's getting sick.

[7:20 am, 11/10/2019]  Ashton 5sos: But I can fly out there, I can go see her

[7:20 am, 11/10/2019]  Ashton 5sos: I want to see Iris better, she’s like family to me.

Iris stirred, little whimpers could be heard from her. “No……please” she whimpered. Helena shushed her back to sleep.  Ashley lightly felt Iris’s forehead for any signs of fever, and she was unusually warm.

[7:21 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley : Ashton, your band needs you more, you're working on your album. what would your management say, when they finds out that you’re flying out, just for her.

[7:23 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley : I can take care of her, Ashton. Trust me.

[7:24 am, 11/10/2019] Ashton 5sos: The album can wait, we have a lot of time, and the boys, I’m sure that would understand. Fuck the management! I don’t give a damn. I want to know if she’s okay,  I need to see her if she’s physically and mentally okay.

[7:27 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley: Fine, but wait, if she gets worse, you can come and also, don't come to me if Iris starts throwing hands. You know how she is, chaotic yet so kept-together.

[7:30 am, 11/10/2019] Ashton 5sos: I don’t mind if she tries to throw hands, you have no idea how many times she did. But I be glad to see her okay.

[7:30 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley: alright then. Look i have to go, duty calls y'know. See you later, Ashton. I’ll update you if anything happens.

[7:30 am, 11/10/2019]  Ashton 5sos : Alright!  Thank you, Ashley.

[7:33 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley: No problem.

Ashley placed down her phone, sighing.  Iris stirred awake. “ Iris, you’re awake. You feeling better?” Helena said softly, stroking Iris's bed hair so it'll look a little bit neat.  They heard a muffled "yes" from her. “Come on, now, we have an live session to go to” Ashley said. “Oh yeah.” she got up, stretched for a bit and yawned. “Go get ready, We’re leaving in few hours.” Ashley reminded. “Okay, see you then.” Then Iris went back to her room.

Her phone was still on the bed. She switched it on. What greeted her was hundreds of notifications from Twitter and Instagram. Fans tagged her in a news post. 

“TROUBLE IN PARADISE? POLY TRIAD, LUKE HEMMINGS, IRIS ADLER AND SIERRA DEATON, DID THEY BROKE IT OFF? OR SOMETHING REALLY DIFFERENT?”

“Days after the pictures of the lead vocalist of The Temptresses, Iris Josephine Alder, who was assumed to be cheating on her partners, Luke Hemmings from 5 Seconds of Summer and Sierra Deaton, former singer from Alex & Sierra.”

“The lead vocalist of 5SOS posted a 2 minute clip of a new song for their upcoming album, CALM. Following it, was a caption that said, “For Buttercup xoxo.” Is the mysterious “Buttercup” , Iris herself? The rockstar was seen with singer, Halsey at the Heathrow Airport in London the day before for Halsey’s Manic world tour with Iris as the opener.”

Iris scrolled through the news, until one specific line she read struck her hard.

“The couple was seen walking out of Starbuck at Midtown, LA. They looked pretty happy, maybe they would much be better off without Iris-“

Better off without Iris.

Better off without her.

Iris threw her phone at the mattress, rushed to her bag and pulled a flask. She knew it was bad, and Ashton would give her a lecture about it. But she couldn’t resist.  She drank.  When she emptied the flask, she was buzzed. It wasn’t enough but it numbed her for a bit. She prepared herself, slick backed her mullet,  put on light makeup and wore presentable clothes. She chewed on some mints, just to make sure. She was ready.

here's the outfit: 

It slightly covered her neck tattoo, a reminder of them. She wanted to cover up or hide anything that reminded her of them. She couldn't handle the sight. She reminisced the passionate nights they had. The quiet mornings they shared, Iris loved those moments, when she was with them, everything felt right.

*Flashback*

It was December. Snow slowly fall from the sky, Sierra knows just how much Iris adores the snow. They both do. Luke enjoys the way he see the pure amazement light up in her eyes. They stared at her as Iris looked out into the world outside. It like giving a child the gift they always wanted on their birthday. Sierra was the first one to break, she slipped on Iris’s oversized cardigan. Her steps are quiet as she crosses the room to sit beside Iris. “Hey angel” she cooed, her palm caressed her face. Iris’s fluttered shut, her lips curled into soft smile. “Mornin’ Si “  she mumbled, face instinctively nuzzled into her palm.

Luke decides to join them, he put on his sweatpants, and stood behind Iris but his arms snaking around her waist , she shuddered at the coldness of his fingertips. “ You’re freezing, Lu.” She said. “Couldn’t help it, lovey. M’two girls left me to fend the coldness all by m’self” He said as he pouted. “Sorry, Lu” Iris said. She reached out to brush a stray curl behind his ear. “M’can properly see your pretty eyes now, Lu. It’s so blue, like the sea, very pretty.” She rambled. She turned to Sierra, “Your’s pretty too. It reminds me of nature. I wanna paint both of your eyes, but it wouldn’t be the same.” She rambled again. “And why’s that, angel?” Sierra asked, stroking her cheek with thumb. “I couldn’t get the colors just right. Yours, It’s like different shades of browns and blacks. And Luke’s different shades of blue.” She said. “I don’t have the talent to do it either. My skills….they’re mediocre.” She said, her concentration on the subject faltered. Her eyes was glued to the window, watching the snowflakes falling, some sticking to the glass and others falling to cover the ground below.

“Angel?” “Hm?” Her eyes still glued to the snow covered scenery outside. “Look at us, honey.” Luke he asked quietly. Iris looked at them. “Your art skills are extraordinary, don’t ever let yourself down like that.” Luke said.  “That’s right, Lu” Sierra agreed. Iris sheepishly looked away. “Hey, don’t look away..” Sierra cooed. She hooked her finger under Iris’s chin and lifted it up . They both gave her a kiss on her cheek. “Wanna go outside and play with the snow?” Luke said. “Mhm, maybe later. It’s too early in the morning. Wanna spend this moment with m’favorite people.” She whispered. That morning was quiet and peaceful. She would give everything she had to experience it aga-

“Iris.”

*Flashback ends*

“Iris.”

Iris snapped awake from her daydream from the knocking outside her door. "Coming!" She said. Ashley, Helena, Julia and Maia was outside. "We've been calling you for minutes now, you okay?" Ashley asked concernedly. “We almost had to restrain Julia for breaking down the door.” Maia joked. "Just got lost in thought, that's all. Look I'm ready, I just have to grab my bag and guitar, then we'll be off." She rushed into room, shoved her phone into her bag and slunged her guitar over her shoulder.

Sorry it’s so short, and it took so long! I had exams and Jess had some uni stuff to do. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! The next chapter will have some of lyrics from the song in it, so stay tuned! ~ eli

After passing security check, Iris made her way to the gate,  where Ashley (Halsey) was waiting for her. Iris looked around in search for the lady. She see a flash of black hair at the corner of her eye. “Ashley!” She called out. The lady around with a big grin. “ Iris Alder!” She said loudly with a laugh. They hugged each other.

“How have you been?” Iris asked her. “ Great! I’m really excited to go on tour with you! It’s been quite a while since we last hung out. how are you?” she asked her. Iris sighed. “Could’ve been better,  still working on the new album with the gals. And as I said to Ashton, I do think that I’m the excited one here! This has been our dream tour, ever since we met at that bar a few years back, right?” she said, smirking. “It’s more like a bet, but I’ll take it.” Ashley shrugged. Iris fake pouted. Ashley chuckled and ruffled Iris’s curly hair. Iris whined and playfully shoved Ashley. “Speaking of the gals, where are they?” Ashley asked. “They should be here anytime now.” Iris said. As if on cue, her three bandmates stumbled in. ”We’re here!” The three said in unison. “Great! Now let’s go!” The airport staff opened the gate’s door for them to go in.

*meanwhile* Luke went silent after he repeated the words to Sierra. He raked his fingers through his unruly hair.  He didn’t know that to do, million thoughts raced in his head.

Why did I let my insecurities control my thoughts?

This is your fault Luke, you ruined everything. Just like you always do.

As for Sierra, she felt tears slowly running down her face. She was overwhelmed with guilt. She should have believed Iris. She let the ugly thoughts get to her. The couple have been together for years now.  They both should’ve known better. As they both get lost in their emotions and thoughts, a scratch was heard outside the bedroom, breaking the silence. Luke opened the bedroom door to find Petunia. The pup was whining and barking. Making her way to Iris’s side of the bed, and laid there. Their hearts broke. Petunia was sad abou it as well, the pup whined and soon fell asleep.

“Sierra?” Luke whispered.  She turned to look at him. “Let’s go to Ash’s” he said. She tilted her head in confusion. “In this hour? Why?” She said. “She’s staying there.” Luke explained. She nodded and they both got dressed.

*Back to Iris* Iris stared out the airplane window, her cheek pressed against the glass. Her bandmates were asleep. Warm tears made their way down her pale face. She dreaded airplane flights, the turbulence that makes the plane shake makes her scared. But this times, she didn’t cared about it. She was so lost in her head, she didn’t feel Ashley softly tapping on her shoulder. She averted her gaze from the window, to the concerned Ashley beside her. “Why are you crying?” Ashley whispered. Iris didn’t noticed the tears, she quickly wiped her face with her cardigan. “I-It’s nothing.” she said quietly. “Iris, you rarely cry. Whatever that making you cry, it must be something really bad. I’m not gonna force you to tell me, bur it’s better if you do. It might make you less sad.” She said, softly.

“Have you seen the pictures that the paps took yesterday night?” Iris asked. Ashley nodded. “They claimed that you cheated, right? Wait. Don’t tell me that…” She was cutted off by Iris’s shaky voice. “Luke and Sierra believed them.” Her voice cracked. “ We had a fight, A big one. I didn’t have a chance to speak my part. Luke called me names and used my past relationship against me. I felt betrayed. He knows what kind of person I am, we fucking grew up together. He knows that I know what’s it like to get cheated on. It’s something I would never wish for anyone to experience. ’ She said, her head ached, thinking about her past lover. ” So then I glanced over at Sierra, hoping that she would understand from my point of view. but guess what?“ She said as she chuckled disbelievingly. ” She backed him up, and Luke said that he wouldn’t be surprised if he found out if I was sleeping around with strangers, that I’m still an alcoholic. And Sierra agreed with him, I admit that I have been drinking a lot lately, going out for nights on end. I had a reason for my actions, but never had a chance to explain.“ She whispered at the end.

"I’ve never seen Luke that angry before. He reminded me of Daniel in that moment, it honestly scared me.” she whimpered. Ashley wrapped an arm around her shoulder comfortingly. She moved the arm divider so she could hold Iris against her.

“Well, first of all, I’m so sorry that happened to you. Second of all, how dare they take a stranger’s word instead of someone they have been with for a long time, someone that always love them and cherish them no matter what?! It’s not fair for you. It must have been agonizing, knowing that someone you loved so dearly have used your insecurities against you and not stop and think that their words can affect your mental health. It’s like they don’t remember that you have feelings.” She said. “But listen, let them cool down, process their thoughts. And wait for them to realize that they’ve fucked up. And that they’re going to lose someone really precious to them, alright? Trust me.” Ashley finished. She held Iris close, placing her cheek on top of Iris, who’s head was on Ashley’s shoulder. Iris’s shoulders were shaking. She was trying her hardest not to let out a tiny sob. She didn’t want anybody to see her in this state.

Iris was drinking shot after shot at the bar, she couldn't remember how much but she knew that it was a lot due to the state she was in right now. Amera, who was her friend that happened to work at the bar, was looking at where she was sitting. They were concerned for Iris, knowing that they would have to stop serving her soon, as Ashton told them that Iris had an addiction to drinking and it would be dangerous for her to keep going like that. Her bandmates left for a early night, after Iris convincing them that she’ll be alright by her own. They called an Uber to pick Iris up and send her home. "Come on, Iris. Drink some water, you can't go home in this state. You know what happens if you drink too much". Amera said. "But Ameraaaaa~ I don't wanna stop, it's the only thing that distracts me from the paain~" Iris slurred. " I know, hun. But your partners are gonna worry about you and besides, you're going to start the tour the day after tomorrow! And I know that you'll need time to prepare and I'm so not gonna make you have a bad hungover tomorrow so you can focus on packing your things!" Amera reasoned. Iris stared into space for a moment, then she drank the cup of water in one gulp. "Can I have another one?" she mumbled, slowly sobering up. "Sure, hun." They said, handing her another cup of water. And Iris gulped at down as well. "Come on, hunny. I've called an Uber for you, it should be here any minute now." Amera said. "Mhm, alright then" she slowly got up, almost tripping and falling on her face. "Here, I got you." They wrapped their arm on her waist and slung her arm over their shoulder. They were half-carrying, half-guiding Iris to the Uber that was waiting outside the bar. Iris was giggling at the pigeons down the street. Amera was laughing at her buzzed state. Both of them were distracted. Too distracted to see that some paps were taking photos of them from a distance. *Timeskip*

“Ma’am, we arrived at your destination.” The driver said.  Amera asked him to wait for a while, the driver nodded. Iris stumbled out the vehicle and walked towards where Amera was standing and hugged them. “ Thanks, Amera. You got my ass outta there before I got in too deep,” she said, sheepishly, scratching her neck. “ It’s no biggie, consider this as a payback for getting me out of the toxic place back in ‘09″ Amera said. Iris shrugged. “You didn’t have to ‘Mera, I had to do something back then, and I’m glad I did.” She smiled. 

“Okay then, It’s getting late, get your ass inside before your partners get worried!” Amera playfully shoved her shoulder. “ Okay, okay no need to get rough” she pouted at them. Amera laughed. “ Alright, alright! Get back home safely okay?” Iris said. ‘Okay, see you soon, hun. Not too soon, you’ve been coming to the bar every night for a week.” They said. Iris laughed nervously. “I’ll try,” she said. They hugged each other before Amera got on the Uber and left.

Iris stepped inside the apartment, she was mostly sober now.  She carefully placed her shoes on the cabinet and went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. She heard footsteps behind her and she turns around to see a furious-looking Luke and sad-looking Sierra. “Where have you been,” Luke said. His eyes burning with fury. “Out,” Iris said, drinking the rest of the water. “To where exactly?” he asked,  “Downtown LA, out and about. Who got you knickers up in a twist. why are you looking at me like that?” she said, her face was blank. She knew that Luke rarely get that angry. So whatever this is, it must be serious.

“Downtown LA, huh? You’ve said that last night, and the night before that! Nevermind that. Who is this?” He said, shoving his phone at her face. The photo showed Iris and Amera coming out of the bar earlier. “Are you cheating on us, Iris?” Sierra said. Her voice seemed to sober Iris up. “Of course not. I would never!” Iris said. “  oh really? Like she isn’t practically holding you all touchy-feely like, god you’re such a whore!” he yelled venom in his voice. Her body tensed. “Do you really think that little of me? Don’t you trust me?” Iris said. “ Well, You’ve been going out all week, I wouldn’t be surprised if you went around sleeping with other people!” He shouted. “For fuck’s sake Luke! Do you really think I would do that ?!” She shouted back. “I don’t know?! Maybe you would?!” He yelled again. Iris looked at him, then at Sierra. She was staring at the floor. “ Sierra? Do you have anything to “claim” that I’ve done? Are you agreeing with him as well?” Iris said.

Sierra looked at her. “Yes. I agree with him, Iris. You haven’t been spending time with us lately and you always act so distantly and suspicious! I just...I don’t know, maybe you are cheating!” she said.

Iris’s eyes widened. “Wow, the two people that I thought trusted me actually believed the paps than me...” She thought. She then stared at them, her eyes filled with unshed tears, betrayed and disbelief. “ I really can’t believe you two, you trust the paps more than me?” she said, quietly. “You haven’t given us anything to make us trust you the whole week! God! Now I know why Daniel and Meaghan left you. ” Luke said. Iris frozed in shock. How could he? She didn’t noticed the tears streaming down her cheeks. “Fine. I-I’ll guess the both of you hate me and want me to leave? It’s okay. Save you breath, I’ll go.” she said with a monotone voice. She grabbed her coat and left the apartment. Her head was spinning. She grabbed her phone and called the person that was on top of her contacts.

“Hey, Ash?” Iris said with a shaky voice. “Hey, Sunshine. What’s wrong?” His voice was filled with concern. “Can I come over?” she said. “Of course, Sunshine. Have you forgotten you live here too?” He lightly teased. Iris lets out a soft chuckle. “Yeah, Katniss is with you right?” she asked. “ Yes she is, she has been waiting for you, I’ve fed her already. You don’t have to worry.” he said. She sighed in relief. “Thanks, Ash. Your a lifesaver.” she said. “Yeah,yeah. Now hurry over, it’s getting rainy and it might have a thunderstorm.’ he said. “Alright then, see you there, bye.” “Bye!”