#pointout

September almost over, and it’s good to be a healthy mental status these days wohoo!🕺🏻

Ok. So I will review this month. Honestly I wanna do this monthly, but I often forgotten xo.

Soo, I just do my research 1 week in this month, And I am still off waiting for the primers come. My deep chaotic mind comes to this month, when I realize that My supervisor underestimated me and didn’t guide me properly. When I realize, I am the only one who trully finding the alternative: and I decided to redo my research. Primer designing. Again. Whoah, it’s really hard- considering v e r y m u c h parameters in order to avoid another problem ahead.

So, I escaped (again) for some days. Meet juki. Really, I just need a space to think over my life. I am really in chaos. Every single negative things come to my mind. Ages, parents, status, my past, etc. I didn’t want to meet any people, I avoided my friends, neglected all the chats, phones, and turned it into airplane mode. I really need a space at that time. My belief on people was broke, I didn’t believe on anyone, even my parents.

Fortunately, being for somedays at Juki, was clearing my mind. Once again, she teached me: calm down. We just need to accept. And don’t think hard.—As the result, I back to reality- with clearer mind.

It felt gauche at first when I was back to the reality. Everyone looked commiserating me, they wanna ask but they didn’t. I hate that. Everyone looks like put a symphaty on me. I hate their gaze. And you know what? It’s like everyone know that I escaped out of city because of my research problem. Well, can’t I just hiding without anybody know?— I am understand perhaps they care for me. But at that time i really really really need a space to be alone. Without any distraction. Without any question.

In the end, I told my another supervisor abiut my problem. And she understand me :’) — she asked about one important quest to myself: ‘Do you still want to continue this?’ — and I realize that I still want to continue, I still really curious. Sincerely. So she told me to keep going, and it’s fine. My mental health back. Even healthier. Even now I feel that I’ve graduate and nothing to do more xoxoxo.

Then, I am also learned to let go people. I accept that people comes and goes. That time has been changed. That there’s no one who really stay. They have their life. Their prob. I learned that I just to be kind to everyone, without see back what their attitude, good or bad to me— without hoping the return. And always share love everywhere. It never damage us. Because love is never wasted. Being kind is just to let your heart to be bigger. To be happy.

Another big lesson on this month: joined LGD at GGF’s campus recruitment. It began with my curiousity with LEAP program, applied, and joined the physicotest. And I PASSED! I passed the physicotest, and I got call for the LGD. It’s really cool.

The LGD started where I must read the business case within 5 min. And it’s soooo business-thingy xoxo. Althought I didn’t pass the LGD, but I am happy. I learned a lot☺️. I learned that I lack the knowledge on that field (Even I am not really understand about the case, cebause it used business-language).That I must to moree read books. Especially at finance & business. I learned and heard rather than shout out my opinion whehe.

Polite manners and kindness make one truly beautiful. As long you remember to keep that up, you'll also be always beautiful.