Sometimes when it's late at night like this, and all I can think about is how much work I have to do and how much I don't want to do it, I go on youtube and watch videos of people dancing and singing and performing. I can see in their eyes and in every movement they make how joyful, how satisfied they are. And it makes my heart get tight my chest, because I feel like I'll die if I don't get to do this. The beat of the music and the heat and the feeling in it, I just need it to be my life. I don't care that it's unrealistic and impractical. It's what I want more than anything. That, and someone to share it with.