#pleasedon'treadthis

if you know how I feel,

and I know how you feel

so can I post some poetry

I have a friend whose life sucks, and he constantly comes to me to open up about it. But sometimes it feels like I don't even care, I even find it annoying sometimes.

But recently another friend of mine has been talking to him, and I swear, she's doing a lot better than me at trying to cheer him up. You can really tell she cares about his opinions, and she's giving him her honest opinion and everything.

All the things he's saying now are things that he's told me before, and her responses just made me realize how much more I could've tried...

All of these people on tumblr talking about helping someone who's suicidal.... I really don't think I can do it. I can't cheer people up, but I really do want to. I just don't know how to respond when someone's upset. I could tell them cliche things like "I'll always be there", but it always feels like that won't help. I try to tell them my feelings, some "at least" statement, but they always have some rebuttal. If it even really gets to me, I could ask what I could do to help, but they either tell me its impossible or its something that I certainly can't do...

I think the only reason I feel for depressed, suicidal people is because I feel like my life has been so great... sure I don't have the best life, but all I tend to hear are compliments, I rarely let anyone else's judgement get me down. I only cry for myself, "I'm such a bad person", "I'm so lonely", "I don't know how to fix this"... I can see that people are in pain, I can comprehend it, and I want to get them out, but its noting that I feel strongly about. Hearing about their problems all of the time after trying and trying and failing to cheer them up just gets... annoying to me.

*Sigh*.... All of my thoughts are jumbled up in my head and trying to get them out is tiring (and unsurprisingly depressing)...