#please god...

I’m buying a house!

It’s funny, though.  I was desperate to get my own place, it’s so long overdue that it’s embarrassing really.  But now that it’s happening, there’s so much to do, so many things to get together and sign, so much uncertainty about what comes next, that every now and then I’m like, “Oh my God, what have I done???”

Financially, things will be extremely tight for a while, but I’m not too worried about that.  Growing up, we went through a few years where my parents were living from paycheck to paycheck, so there are still a lot of holdovers from when we had to really stretch leftovers.  I don’t need clothes, I’m either working or recovering from work, so I don’t do a lot of driving.  Speaking of driving, it’s a bit of a drive to work.  Not ideal...but not outrageous either.  Safe neighborhood, very small lawn I can hit with a weedwhacker, and best of all?  I can have a craft room and an office!  And no need to compromise!

I’m scared as hell.  

But I’ve been scared before.  When I lost my mom, on top of the grief, the future was completely up in the air.  Fear is a good motivator, I guess, and I worked my butt off and saved, saved, saved.  Now the future is up in the air again, but instead of endings I see beginnings and possibilities.  

I think the craft room will have a Christmas theme, and the office/library/study/whatever will be all decked out for Halloween.  My two favorite holidays.  We don’t do holidays anymore since my mom passed, so I can honor her and those days on my terms in my own house.