#playertwo

I knew this series from a particular person which as of now that means a lot to me. For those who didn’t know what was the series about, basically it’s a story about a high school girl who had her life somehow messed up at a certain point. From her point of view, it was mostly caused by external factors which is then she recorded tapes. Yes, like a vintage cassette tapes just audio in it.She recorded 13 reasons why she took her life.

In the end of season 1, I was thinking that most of the people who got involved in her life had learned the hard way that there are actually a person that went through the same shit just as a regular person do sometimes. It’s just the way she thinks and resolved these problems are not the same way as how a regular person thinks.

Imo, when a person get a lot of shit happens in their life, on and on and on, they tend to blame it on the world, as if life hates them so much, wondering what do they do wrong. The thing is, when this thing happens like a royal straight flush and just as a train moving so fast you couldn’t stop it at your face, without having a strong belief in yourself, I am pretty sure down goes your mental state. It cracks like piece of beautiful glass. From here, there’s only two options, either broke down and get reconstructed as a new stronger glass. Or stay broken. 

When I say a having a stronger belief, you had another way to think, another perspective and point of view on this life, how did it happen to us and why did it happen to us. But without it, I think most of us would just stay broken, keep on blaming ourselves and even treat ourself as the one as the caused of the all problems that occurs. And you all knew where it leads on a people that are not right in their state of mind. Ending their life, as if ending means no more problem for themselves and for the others.

Now, as I watched this person who took their life, I came to realize few tings :

1. All of us had our own life, which means our own problems to deal with. Which is sometimes is already hard and maybe even fucked up enough that we felt we couldn’t even care what the other person’s owould have.

2. For a person who thinks like the girl who took her life in this series, without the right person to do the right thing, I’d say there would be no chance at all to change to be at a better state of yourself. This thing, I experienced it myself. In my pov, I had to force this someone in my life to not go through what this girl in the series do. When she said you have to leave or get the fuck out, I don’t do it, most of the time in the begining I did not budge, I fight the way through inside her, inside the mind, the heart. Trying and learning and hoping that I would understand how the fuck does her mind works and think. How did something small really could caused a big problems just for this type of minds. After watching the series, I came to realize that I did the right thing even though some of it were really hard and pains me, I just knew that I have to get through this or else it would’ve been the same thing as the story of the girl in this series.

At the end of the day, I even wonder if I did save your life I mean by coincidence or not.  What would you guys think, when a close person of yours who you truly holds wanted to end their life by forcing them not to take their life by any means necessary, would it be called saving them or maybe we’re just being obsessed that we could not take it if we lose them in such way. It’s like I felt like am I a hero or just egoistic-obsessed person who just can’t let go of a person who wanted to end their life because they’re suffering in this life.

But then, at the other part of me were being glad, glad that I had this beliefs in me. It kind of like open my eyes to another point of view of thinking about things. Made me as a quiet open minded person. I just knew that taking out your own life is just wrong, I mean, if they said they suffer in this life, hey, we all do. No one in this life did not suffer even for a bit. We all do and the thing about it, we just have to face it, find a way to solved it, so it ends, and be ready for another one.

In conclusions, watching this series made me a bit glad that for myself I think I did saved your life and glad that I did the right thing even if sometimes I did it the wrong way. And to anyone who might come across this, these are last things that I would recommend to do :

1. For those who are in the position of the main girl in the series who took her life, you of all people, must moved, search for the right person that would treat and care about you. Find this person that would made you think, he/she could have been the best hope and life that I would’ve ever experience. He/She would be the ray of light in my life, we could grow old, have kids, spent times till the end of the day came. When you find the person who made you felt like this, speak up to them, say what must be said, this is so that you would know that if this person is really the one or not. If not, try again, again, and again. The perfect things doesn’t come easy, rome doesn’t built in a day. Things takes time, take it as much as you need.