#pixiekars

Chapter 1: The Arrival

Throughout the vast galaxies, the swirling cosmos, and the thrumming nebulae, carries a man of stone and sin. A man whose own callousness and greed cost him everything he worked towards. Shunned, shamed, and punished by divinity itself, he was damned to float through the vast void for eternity… or so we were told. 

As he waited for a death that never came, he decided to abandon hope, abandon pondering where it all went wrong, and became an empty husk all of his own volition. Coiled in on himself, wings of mineral surrounding him as he floats endlessly in the colossal vacuum. 

Heat, scorching heat, perhaps nearing another star. 

This was no heavenly temperature, for the man of stone was crashing. Having been pulled in by a strong force of gravity, the man sinks to the planet below him in an epic collision with the soil and rock. His mineral casing cracks and crumbles, leaving him weary and delirious. It's as if he's opening his eyes and breathing for the first time. 

Due to the shocking nature of his crash landing, the man lies there, curled in on himself like a dying arthropod. Lying scrunched up on his side in the rubble deep in the crater he formed with his body, he begins to form coherent thought at the impact. Perhaps it is nothing more than a mere hallucination, just a fleeting realistic dream having been brought on by madness due to prolonged isolation.

He swallows himself up with the wings he had made protruding from his back, shielding himself from the light he once coveted. It's just a dream and nothing more… it's just a dream… Soon a distant pitter patter grows closer. It draws nearer to the man engulfed in dark violet crow wings. 

“Whoa…what is that thing?” Says the curious one. Pixie is their name. They are around 5 feet and 3 inches tall (160.02 cm), short and wild neck length blue hair, deep rich cocoa eyes, pinched porcelain-doll-like lips, and a curious voice. They examine the sight before them. Most other humans have heard the crash, but it appears that somehow only one decided to take it upon themself to investigate. 

“It looks like a bird… a massive bird. What the hell?” They cautiously make their way down the crater, holding their phone out to document this anomaly, “That thing just fell from the sky. I'm probably gonna die, but there's no way I'm not going to see what it is first.”

They very carefully approach closer, 

“I'm so sure this thing is some kind of bird alien… thing. I hope it's not riddled with radiation.” They chuckle half-heartedly.

Against their better judgement, they get a little too close for comfort towards the creature. They record the shimmery, purple, winged beast. 

As they approach gently, the wing quickly lifts up, revealing one piercing crimson eye. Pixie gasps and stumbles backwards in retreat,

“IT'S A PERSON!!!” They choke out in shock. The feathered man doesn't move an inch, just lying there observing this odd human. Pixie pants and shakily stands up. With a trembling hand, they continue documenting this bizarre phenomenon. They attempt to breathe normally, careful not to disturb the beast.

“So it is an alien… that's… amazing.” They catch their breath, both terrified and intrigued at the sight they behold. 

The man on the ground just stares unblinking at the figure across from him. His palm rests on the soil until he finally digs his fingers into the dirt, clawing at it. He doesn't know how long it's been since he felt dirt… he inhales, letting the tender breath of earth fill his empty lungs. It's a bitter welcome home to a punished, broken man. 

Pixie hesitates, then speaks, 

“What are you?” Not exactly intending for the being to respond. The beast continues to pierce the gaze of the little human, almost as if to warn them of his godly power without so much as a single spoken word. Slowly, and with much grace, the being rises, resting on his rear. The gravity pulling him down into a fixed position is jarring. His long, luscious, bouncing violet curls flow down over his shoulders and back. His wings slowly retract, being absorbed back into his body. He stands before the blue haired human with an imposing posture, regality unparalleled. His ruby eyes never once leaving the little creature. Gazing upon this majestic entity strikes both fear and awe into Pixie's heart. They gasp and instinctively back away, trembling. The being before them locks his eyes on the cell phone. It registers in his brain that this isn't a weapon, but for what reason could there be to point such a device at him? Pixie realizes that this could be seen as a threat, so they lower the phone. 

“S-sorry, uh… I mean no disrespect.” 

The divine being looks down at them, analyzing them. Their attire is a lot different than what he's seen humans wear prior to being launched into space. They wear what looks to be a collar around their neck with a heart pendant, a crop top, black shorts, and thigh high striped socks. How peculiar. The being speaks, his voice rich and silky like smooth cream, 

“Is this Earth?”

Pixie tenses. They hesitate to speak, startled at the sound of how calm and soothing his voice is,

“Y-yes, it is… uh, are you from another planet…?” Their voice trails off at the end, realizing how silly that must sound. He continues to stare at them, then speaks, 

“No. I am of earth.”

“Then why did you ask? Where did you even come from? Who are you? Why do you have wings? Why did you fall from the sky and make a huge crater? Why-”

The being lifts his hand up to silence them. He lowers it slowly, 

“Inquisitive little one… Manners, manners. Where are mine?” The man stands pridefully, “You may address me as ‘Lord Kars'.” He looks to the sky, almost with a bitter hatred for the heavens that hath forsaken and condemned him, “I have returned from my divine punishment… from where I will go from here, I will figure out such a thing at a later date.”

Pixie looks confused, left with more questions than answers. They're about to speak, but Kars simply walks on right by them. 

“H-hey! Where are you going?” Pixie follows him.

“I am going to see all that I have missed.” Kars speaks plainly. His hair billows in the breeze with each step he takes. Glistening purple curls bounce and reflect the sunlight with dazzling glimmer. 

“Well, uh- wouldn't you like to have a guide? I could, like, show you around…or something.” Pixie rubs their neck as they catch up with the man. 

“Yes, I suppose.” Kars talks plainly. His voice is unlike any other, speaking with such wisdom just rolling off of his ancient tongue. He looks down at Pixie, akin to the way a human would look at a bee buzzing about from flower to flower, casual disinterest. Kars and Pixie walk out of the crater and look around. Pixie comments,

“Jeez, there’re already a lot of people here. We better skedaddle or else we might get in trouble.”

Kars glances at Pixie using only his crimson eyes, then flicks them back to the crowd of humans. How annoying… Kars thinks. On the surface, he is calm and unbothered, but inside he is still feeling the effects of damning isolation. He walks straight to the crowd, through the crowd. Pixie follows after like a loyal little minion. The other humans look at Kars and are perplexed by his otherworldly appearance. He continues to effortlessly glide through the crowd, parting it with ease simply by using his commanding presence. The others watch as this barely clothed man with long hair casually brushes by everyone as if they are nothing. They see Pixie scurrying behind him, they begin to wonder if they are truly with him or not. Pixie calls out to him,

“H-hey! Wait up! Kars-”

“Lord Kars.” He turns his head to scold the human gently.

“Uh… ‘Lord’ Kars. Ahem, I have so many questions!”

“I have many answers.” Kars speaks softly. They both walk through the town. What a bizarre state of affairs, a blue haired androgynous scene-dressed human in their late 20s and a hundred-thousand year old man with red eyes and horns as well as godlike powers walking together down the sidewalk. 

Pixie looks up at him with awe and intrigue. Kars knows they’re observing him, so he lets them. He enjoys the attention, especially when humans fear him, are attracted to him, or exhibit shock from what he does. 

“So uh… do you want to maybe, like… I dunno, um, grab some lunch or something at a restaurant or whatever?” Pixie asks, chuckling and fidgeting. This is unbelievable, I’m having an awkward conversation with some kind of angel-demon-alien-man creature. Pixie thinks.

“Don’t need it.” Kars’s eyes are half-lidded, “However, if they have wine, I suppose I wouldn’t exactly be opposed to having a glass or two.”

At the restaurant

Kars, still somewhat under the impression that this is all simply a hallucination, indulges Pixie in conversation. When the bottle of wine comes, Kars hands his glass to Pixie. They give him a weird look but reluctantly fill his glass. He gestures for them to fill it further. Pixie lets out a little scoff but does as silently instructed. With a thankless handwave, Kars swirls the glass and looks deep into the reddish purple liquid. Pixie continues with their prattle about something or another while Kars presses the glass delicately to his soft lips. As soon as the taste hits his tongue and the scent of the alcohol fills his nostrils, he almost chokes… not because the wine is putrid or anything, but because the sensation brings him back to a time when he still had a family.

Esidisi singing songs and Wamuu meditating to the sound of crickets on a summer night… the sight of the full moon… Esidisi leaning up against him with utter affection as they begin their nights. Kars has a difficult time passing the liquid down his gullet. His tongue clings to the liquid as if the memories of a life once merrily lived amongst family will disappear if he dare have that wine fall to his stomach. The drink warms in his mouth, he swallows it painstakingly, feeling a lump rise in his esophagus. How long has it been since he had a proper drink, let alone eaten regular food and not feasting on vampire blood? 

“Uh… hey, you okay?” Pixie looks at him with concern.

“Fine. It has been such a long time since I have consumed anything like this… in this manner, I mean.” The pillarman sets the glass down. He watches Pixie eat their human food, a little disgusted by how strange it looks, but it smells adequate. He continues, taking a smaller sip this time around. His lashes lower as he lets out a sigh through his nose, remembering life prior to this all. Kars shifts in his seat, just grateful for the ability to be able to sit again.

Pixie’s cocoa brown eyes twinkle in the dim glow of the orange hued restaurant lights, just witnessing Kars for the ultimate being he is. They haven’t got a clue. Kars sips and savors every last ounce of wine until the bottle bears no droplet lying at the bottom. He grasps the neck of the bottle and peers into the mouth, vermillion eye scanning for any remnants of the pleasurable liquid… but none remain. Perhaps it isn’t even about the alcohol in the first place, but more so the feelings of unbearable nostalgia as the taste fills his mouth and warmth fills his body.

After the dinner and dipping into his memories, Kars tugs on his scarf, contemplating whether or not to put it back over his head. If he does, it will only remind him of those he lost due to his own greed. Walking back outside, the heat and scent of nature despite being in the middle of a small town causes Kars to involuntarily take a deep inhale. He sighs and turns away. The immense figure does a double-take as the little human is looking up at him with big brown puppy dog eyes.

“What is it?” Kars’s voice is soft, naturally soft. Pixie speaks innocently,

“You look sad.”

He stands there, his brows furrowed a bit and eyes burrowing into Pixie’s. He relaxes and flicks his gaze to the asphalt,

“It would appear that way to you.” Kars says as if they are incorrect in assuming his emotions. After a small amount of silence, Pixie speaks up while they stand next to one another as the sun begins to set,

“You… don’t have anywhere to go back to…” They turn their head up at him with a look of concern, “do you?”

“No.” Kars says plainly, just staring up at the sky with a stoic expression. The silence is deafening between the two beings. He already has a feeling of what they’re going to say next, so he just lets it happen,

“I mean, um… Well… I could, like- i-if you want to stay at my place for a while, you can.” 

“Alright then.” Kars glances down at them, “What else have I got to lose? When you’ve already lost your dignity and hit rock bottom, you can’t go any deeper, hm?” He smirks mockingly. Pixie, naively optimistic as they are, takes no offense to this. 

At the apartment

Pixie opens the door to their apartment and lets Kars inside. The place is tidy but cluttered with comfort items such as throw pillows, some plushes, candles, and other miscellaneous objects. Kars scans the room and can deduce by the way the place is kept that Pixie is some type of eccentric artist, this somehow relaxes him a bit. They chuckle,

“Phew! Well, here it is! Welcome to my humble abode. Sorry about the mess, I need to clean up in here. Also I’ll do the dishes sometime tonight… or tomorrow. Ah, anyway,” They speedwalk over to the couch, “I’ll just take the bed out here and you can sleep here.”

“Don’t need it.” Kars shakes his head gently.

“Don’t need it? First you don’t need food or water, now you don’t need sleep? Do you even need anything?” They laugh. Kars flicks his gaze a bit to the upper right and inhales,

“Not even oxygen.”

“Oh, well… uh. Hm.” They look puzzled, but keep pulling the bed out of the couch regardless. “Well, here’s the bed anyway just in case you want to, like… lie in it for fun I guess.” They go over to the linen closet to get some bed dressings, “But you drank an entire bottle of wine.”

“I don’t need things. It doesn’t mean I don’t want them.” Kars shrugs his shoulders slowly as he speaks. 

“Yeah, I guess so. I mean, makes sense. I don’t need cupcakes, but I still want them.” They look up at Kars with those innocent brown eyes again after they finish making the bed, adding pillows afterwards, “Go on! Try it out.”

Kars reluctantly sits on the bed. It’s acceptable at most, not at all what he’s used to, but it will do. Even though he doesn’t sleep, it probably wouldn’t hurt to try tonight. He touches a pillow with the palm of his hand, feeling the fabric on his skin. Pixie has their hands on their hips and watches him, only to notice something,

“I love your makeup by the way.”

“Mmm…” Kars responds, not even looking at them. He chuckles, “I had a feeling you would bring it up. You seem to be rather fond of dressing your eyes.”

“Well… yeah! It’s fun! Your eyeliner is so good, you do it very well. It’s so sharp.” They chuckle.

“Sharp… eh?” Kars’s eyes flick to Pixie like he’s a large predator animal eyeing its prey. I could show you sharp in less than a second, little one, you wouldn’t even see it coming. I could show you my blades, so sharp and reflective that you’d be able to see the fear in your own eyes when I raise my arm… Kars’s lips curl into a smirk as he thinks. His smirk fades and the glimmer of deadliness in his eyes dims. He continues to pet the pillow as if it's a house cat.

“So… tell me about yourself, Kars.” Pixie sits on the edge of the bed. Kars narrows his eyes at them as if they’re the one intruding in his home.

“You don’t listen very well, do you, curious one?” Kars’s mouth bears no resemblance to a smile. His expression is more of a disgruntled father at an unruly child.

“L-Lord Kars! Sorry!” Pixie lets out a nervous chuckle, “Tell me about yourself, Lord Kars.” 

Kars ignores the question,

“Where is your latrine?” He stands up and looks around.

“Huh? I thought you didn’t need to go to the bathroom.” Pixie looks confused.

“I only need to use the restroom if I consume something. It’s basic biology, creature.” Kars doesn’t look at them.

“Okay, well uh… there’s one right over there, and there’s one in my bedroom over there.” Pixie points. Kars heads straight for the bedroom. Pixie’s shoulders drop and so do their eyebrows,

“Of course you’d do that.” They sigh and head into their bedroom to make sure he doesn’t disturb anything. He just goes to the restroom, closes and locks the door, then turns the shower on. Pixie sits on their bed and waits for him to come back. They lie on their back and purse their lips wondering how they even got into this odd situation in the first place. They put their hands behind their head and mumble,

“This is so weird… first the genie and now some kind of weird angel-demon dude. What next?”

Half an hour later

Kars walks out of the bathroom fully nude with a towel on his head, drying his violet locks. Pixie glances over then gasps sharply and covers their eyes quickly. Their cheeks fill with heat,

“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! I-I didn’t see anything!”

Kars ignores them, not caring about his form being seen by others. He has no shame and sees no reason to hide his body. He takes the towel down, letting his damp hair fall. Pixie peeks a little through their fingers and their heart skips a beat or two, they involuntarily squeak and cover their eyes again, blushing intensely.

“I need to wash this. Do you have a means of doing so?” Kars has his loincloth and scarf in one hand, “I will also require new clothing.”

“Y-y-yeah, um… uh…” Pixie, flustered beyond belief, trembles and tries to keep their eyes averted. They don’t want to be rude or embarrass Kars, however, Kars truly does not mind nor care in the slightest if someone sees him this way. Pixie shows him to their little laundry room and shakily gestures to the buttons and knobs, 

“U-um, so here’s the-”

“I can figure it out.” Kars speaks matter-of-factly. He walks past Pixie casually and immediately knows how to work the washing machine. They try to gesture to the detergent, Kars gets the point and pours a small amount of liquid into the drum. He starts the machine then looks down at Pixie,

“Human technology is simple for the simple-minded.” He struts back into the living room and sits on his bed. Pixie just stands there, staring at the washing machine with ultimate dumbfoundedness. 

An hour later

“Okay, so-!” Pixie comes back from their bedroom only to find Kars flipping through their physical sketch books, they gasp, “H-HEY!!! Where did you get those?!” They rush over to see him casually leafing through the pages.

“Interesting. I don’t believe I have seen this type of art work before.”

“C-come on…” Pixie’s head hangs and shoulders drop as they just stand there with embarrassment. Kars nonchalantly looks at the different sketches, doodles, and character designs,

“Hm.” He is particularly interested in one drawing.

“What? What is it?” Pixie leans over his shoulder.

“Who is this?” Kars speaks as if he’s about to scold them. His finger taps rapidly on the page.

“Oh, that’s me!” Pixie chuckles with relief. Kars looks them dead in the eye with seriousness,

“Why do you look like that?”

“Why do I look-?” They look down at themself. They laugh and shake their head, waving their hand around, “Oh gosh. I’m not in that form, am I?” They giggle and cover their mouth gently. With an inhale and a hand wave and drop, Pixie goes from feminine to masculine. Their voice is deeper but still has that playful cadence, “That’s better!”

Kars’s eyes widen, his brows furrow, and his lip curls up, teeth softly showing. He is in utter shock at what he had just witnessed. Pixie’s jaw is more angled, they have a handsome face, their body is more muscular yet still a bit on the thinner and more athletic side. They smile at Kars,

“Oh uh, I forgot to mention that I… can do this.” They rub their neck with a little awkward chuckle. Kars looks them up and down, analyzing their form. Impossible… this power could only be the work of the stone of Aja, could it not?! How is it that this creature transformed right before my very eyes?! Kars’s lips tighten and his eyes are still wide in disbelief and brows furrowed deeply. He keeps glancing at their chest, pectorals… then he flicks his gaze downward. Pixie blushes,

“If you’re wondering. Yes.” They cross their arms. Kars sneers, but not because he’s disgusted. He doesn’t know how to react to this shape shifting,

“Do all humans possess this ability?”

“Hahaha! No, no… not that I know of anyway. So far, I think I’m the only one who can do this.” They wave and drop their hand, transforming back into their original form. Kars’s microexpressions are pretty obvious to Pixie, they can tell he makes stranger faces and his body language is different when they are in their more masculine form. Pixie waves and drops their hand once again. Kars’s eyes widen and brow furrow, his lips purse a bit. They laugh and hold their stomach. Kars narrows his eyes at them, regaining his stoicism for a moment,

“What is it?”

“It’s just that- haha! Every time I turn into this form… heehee! You make funny faces!” Pixie giggles a bit. Kars relaxes and glances to the side,

“So I do. I suppose the reason for that is because I didn’t know you could shape shift. It is quite jarring.”

“Yeah, haha, yeah it is.” Pixie smiles and touches their chest.

“I can do it too…” The corner of Kars’s mouth lifts upward. Pixie gives him an intrigued look. Kars covers his face with both hands, then uncovers his face to reveal the face of a violet wolf! Snarling, growling, and gnashing its teeth! Kars covers his face again, then uncovers to reveal a crow, squawking! He covers and uncovers to reveal the face of a praying mantis! He covers and uncovers his face to reveal his own. Kars’s gleaming crimson eyes and devilish smirk unnerve Pixie a bit. They’re absolutely shaken to their core by the display, and Kars is relishing in their fear-

“That was AWESOME!!!” Kars’s smirk drops, “Do it again! Do it again!” Pixie jumps up and down with excitement, “Can you turn into other animals?! Can you turn your entire body into an animal?!” They gasp, realization hitting them like a train, “Is… is that why you had wings of a crow the first time I saw you?” Kars blinks slowly,

“Yes.”

“Wow…” Pixie sits on the floor in wonder. They just ponder to themself for a bit, “Did you wish for that power?”

“For most of my life, I did indeed wish for it.” Kars sits criss-cross on the pullout couch bed, getting more comfortable, “How did you obtain your ability to shapeshift?”

“Oh yeah…” Pixie taps their chin, “I suppose I shoulda explained that first, huh?”

OKAY SO.

I've been actually writing a lot in my personal fanfic for Irradiated Heart. I feel like the dialogue and writing is just so good and I might actually want to share it with you all one day. It's not finished yet and I'm not sure if it will even really have an ending...

It started off as a non-serious, mainly joke alternate universe just for the sole purpose of me being able to kiss Kars and get my affections out for him. However... Things quickly took a very angsty and intense turn. It's so strange how something that starts off as a joke or silly, can turn into something more serious and deep.

So... If I ever do decide to share the Irradiated Heart fanfic with you all, I'll probably have to omit some headcanons of mine that will very much anger others.

(They're nothing super bad, just might make folks' skin crawl with annoyance... ((And to preface this: I know in canon that it says Kars killed both of his parents, but this is also an alternate universe.)) For instance, I have a private headcanon that Kars is half human- his mother was a pillarwoman and his father was a human she fell in love with. His father cheated on his mother or something, his mother started to resent Kars's existence, and the other pillarfolk would just avoid Kars which caused him to become asocial. Kars became a scientist and spent most of his days just trying to find ways to be better and possibly even get accepted by his society. One day he meets a man crying really hard by an underground lake. Kars has never seen this before, and decided to go talk to him and ask what's wrong. He says that sometimes when he gets overwhelmed he just cries, then feels better. That's when the relationship between Kars and Esidisi started to blossom. Both outcasts, they found comfort in each other.)

There's a few more headcanons similar to that, which makes Kars more "human", both in a literal and figurative sense, and I understand and acknowledge that would make a lot of people very upset. However, this is fiction and it started off as just a silly thing to begin with! Plus people ignore canon, have fun with characters, and basically play with them like toys!

But anyway... Some of the dialogue and scenes in there are, in my personal opinion, really really good and I kind of... Want to show folks? I'll have to go back and edit some things though, especially the anger inducing headcanons 😅

I might do a poll or I might work up some courage to ask a friend if they wanna read some of my work (once I finish editing it), and you are more than welcome to say no and decline! I won't push anyone to read anything!